Growing Up

[lovemygirl]

Hi,
OK so my daughter (w/cf) is 6 yrs old and I just sent her on her first sleepover at a friends. It is a bitter sweet thing and I can't sleep because she is not in her bed but I let he go because I know she will have a lot of fun.
Here's the thing.....I showed the mom how to do PEP because I have to work tomorrow and will pick her up later in the day. We always teach her to be proud of who she is and we are open with her CF so it was not an issue. I got home and was talking to my husband and then started to worry because they are girls. Will this be thrown in her face in years to come? Are girls so catty that they would hold this against her when they are older? Am I just being paranoid?
Has anyone (I think more common for girls) ever been teased by an ex-friend that you trusted and once you drifted apart they used it against you? Should we be more discreet about it? Should I choose the sleepovers more carefully?
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

 

[sue35]

I have never had anyone be catty to me about it. Growing up I was more discreet about it, but all that did was cause bad self-esteem problems. I think it is great that she is open about it. I would suggest talking to her about ways to handle friends that are mean though, just to get her prepared. The more people get used to her having this disease the more they won't even think about it. If you monitor her sleepovers then she might start to wonder what is up

 

[hockeygrl61]

I was completely different growing up. I never told anyone about my
CF except my closest friends. I always lived like a normal kid and
never let it get  in the way of anything I wanted to do and my
parents supported that. I've always been grateful that they let me
be myself and eventually I told more people at school about my CF.
By then I was in 6th grade and no one seemed to care. They people
that cared were the ones I told years earlier and they are still my
best friends now. They come to visit me in the hospital and remind
me to take my meds. I think the best thing to do is let her
determine who she wants to be, I'm sure my parents worried about me
the same way you worry about her, but my independence was the best
thing they gave me. Now, I know everyone is different and has
different personalities, so you have to do what you think is best.
She'll learn one way or another to be comfortable with herself and
when that happens she'll surround herself with friends who will
support her and care about her almost as much as you do.

 

[deanna]

What a good mommy you are. You are doing the most natural thing
that you know. Protect your baby. You are going to have this talk
with yourself so many times in her life. Try to remember that as
long as you treat this disease like it is just something else that
she has to deal with, but no bid deal. That she is not any
different, that she can do everthing like every other 6 year
old(sleeping over at a friends house)She to will treat this disease
with that attitude. I have never had anybody treat me any
different, certainly not in a negative way. As a matter of fact,
you will see the absolute best come out in people. I was always
watched a little closer than the other kids, by friends parents.
usually to the point of not wanting people to know. kids can be
caddy, but they also will show a very nurturing side to. It will
bring tears to your eyes, watching her friends protect her, just
the way you do.

 

[welshgirl]

hi lovemygirl<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> put your ? on the adults page there are loads of friendly females adults over there with first hand knowledge of this, i would imagine anyway. take care<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

 

[JazzysMom]

I never had the cattiness growing up. The only problem I ever had was over a boy (should have learned then to stay away from guys) when older girls who had hit puberty already made fun of me for not having boobs yet. I was 13 at the time so looking back it was not that late, but at the time it was rough. I never let them bother me (or let it be seen anyway). I was always open & honest about my CF. I guess I figured that I couldnt change it & in my eyes hiding it was hiding a part of myself. I also learned that I would much rather educate them than have them coming up with their own scenarios on things. She will be fine Mom. Just keep reinforcing that love & strength that allowed her to want to sleep over to begin with!

 

[kybert]

the only cattiness i got was over my mums over protectiveness and strictness in general [didnt have anything to do with cf]. i went through a period where my friends left me behind because i was never allowed to go to or do the same things as them. mum would only let me do things that kids at least 2 years younger would do. thank god she got out of that phase! i beg you not to be over protective, it does more harm than good.

 

[mcbrash]

I couldn't agree more with Kylie. I tried to make everything as perfect as possible for my son when he was young and in later years it did back fire on me a little but fortunately I was able to see that by overprotecting him I was doing him no favours.

If he was going to go on a trip with cubs/scouts etc. I would make sure that I went over every detail with whomever was taking care of things and grilled him about everything when he came home. Did he do his therapy? how about pills, were they taken on time? Needless to say not many things were done to my liking but it didn't hurt him. Sure he might have come home needing a little extra therapy, or cramps from not taking pills but this was the price he had to pay for having fun and being like other kids for a day or two. If I can give one good piece of advice it would be to not wrap your children in cottonwool, let them have as normal a childhood as possible and let them get their hands dirty once in awhile. Trust me, they will look back and be able to remember the fun they had with their friends and the mischief that they got into when they were young instead of just wishing they had been able join in the fun.

I know that both of my sons have great memories of their childhood and still have those friends around today that they got into so much mischief with years ago.

Sandy

 

[mcbrash]

I forgot to mention that all of Matt's friends saw him doing mask and physio over the years and took no notice of it as it was something they saw him do at a very young age. Of course, not having had any girls, I can only give advice about raising boys.

Sandy

 

[lovingBenandCambree]

I never received cattiness from my friends. They were always there for me through it all. I was however always nervous about guys and what they would think. I just never wanted anyone to treat me different. Girls will always be catty about something, but my illness was never the subject of it. It is always os hard to see your little one grow up .