has any one had a relationship with another CFer

becstar1 · Sep 19, 2006

I'm 17 and i have a mate who i have fall in love with the only
problem is that he has Cystic fibrosis. So i was wondering is there
someone out there who is in a relationship with a another CFer and
what you have to do to have a relationship and be in love at the
same time but keep healthy. because our biggest worry is that we
will make each other sick and we don't want that for each
other. 
 
look forward to your advise. 
bekah 
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

my65roses4me · Sep 19, 2006

Hi Bekah, 
My name is Khristina and I am a 31 yr old cfer. I am married but
not to a cfer. 
I thought I would respond to your email because I have known two CF
couples. My dear friend married a cfer and she had cf herself. He
made her happier than anyone she ever knew. They were married for
almost three years. But I would have to say that they did make each
other alot sicker. She was pretty sick before they got married and
so was he. So I dont know how much of it was caused by each other.
It broke my heart to see her get sicker especially since she knew
it was because they were together. They have a wonderful love
story. They were so connected and were so in love that she passed
away 2 years ago and he followed her to heaven about 8 months
later. He could not live without her and it broke his heart knowing
that he caused her to be sick. They knew going into it that it
would happen but love could not keep them apart. 
I think it all depends on how important it is to you. If you really
love him and he loves you and think that its worth it, then by all
means its your choice. Us cfers are told to keep a three ft rule
with each other. And of course when you are in a relationship the
three ft rule is impossible to keep. 
Just go with your heart and be open with each other about the
possibilities of getting each other sick. I wish you the
best!!!

anonymous · Sep 19, 2006

I was ina relationship with a cfer. He gave me MRSA which took me 4 yrs to get a negative culture on. If you decided to go through with this then I would make sure that both of you are willing to take EXTRA good care of yourselves. Don't be around each other when one is sick and that kind of thing. And know the inevitable.

coltsfan715 · Sep 19, 2006

I have not been in a relationship with another CFer, but I wanted to kind of add something to the annon post above me.

Firstly I agree with Khristina in that it is a very personal decision and so long as the two of you are comfortable with it then that is the most important thing.

Back to the annon post. I agree I think it would require extra care on the part of each of you to keep healthy and not spread stuff to each other if at all possible. If you decide not to be around each other when the other person is sick - really think about how hard that will be. I am engaged to a non CFer and when he is sick I try to steer clear of him, but it is so hard for me. I want to take care of him and he sometimes needs me and it makes things very hard. Also when I am in the hospital I sometimes don't want anything BUT him. If he had CF and we had an understanding to steer clear of each other in time of infection it would put a major strain on things - you need more support at times when you are the most weak and vulnerable and being hospitalized/sick would be some of those times. Just something to think about.

Good luck in making your decision. I think there is a lady on the boards that is involved with another CFer but I am not sure. I can't think of her user ID, but I want to say I recall reading something along those lines. Hopefully she will post a reply for you.

Take Care,
Lindsey

anonymous · Sep 19, 2006

Check the blog of lilmeggies and/or search for some of her posts. Speaking of which we have not heard from Meghan or Chad in a long time? Anyone know how they are?

Ender · Sep 20, 2006

I think that if you two both have the same bugs...then chances are it's pretty safe. However, if one has something kinda serious, like mycobacteria or capacia...you might really want to think about it...because catching something like that can bring you down quite quickly. It's all up to you though. Personally, if i found a soulmate that had cf...and i knew I wanted to be with that person for the rest of my life...I would go for it. Even if i lived a shortened life, at least i would have lived it with someone i cared for.

Good luck you...

Kiel

Ender · Sep 20, 2006

I think that if you two both have the same bugs...then chances are it's pretty safe. However, if one has something kinda serious, like mycobacteria or capacia...you might really want to think about it...because catching something like that can bring you down quite quickly. It's all up to you though. Personally, if i found a soulmate that had cf...and i knew I wanted to be with that person for the rest of my life...I would go for it. Even if i lived a shortened life, at least i would have lived it with someone i cared for.

Good luck you...

Kiel

Ender · Sep 20, 2006

I think that if you two both have the same bugs...then chances are it's pretty safe. However, if one has something kinda serious, like mycobacteria or capacia...you might really want to think about it...because catching something like that can bring you down quite quickly. It's all up to you though. Personally, if i found a soulmate that had cf...and i knew I wanted to be with that person for the rest of my life...I would go for it. Even if i lived a shortened life, at least i would have lived it with someone i cared for.

Good luck you...

Kiel

IG · Sep 20, 2006

If I'm correct in the assumption I am the 'other lady on the boards' as previously mentioned.

It's not a smart idea to get involved with another CFer.
Having said that I will continue on and say that the heart doesn't think logically.
But that doesn't mean that the head can't.

If if you get involved with another CFer then you must let your doctor know.
That's the number one thing.
Like others have said there's a chance of germs (MRSA, B. Cepacia, Pseudo, etc) try to minimize those. Wash hands, kissing to a bear minimum, try to avoid places (hot tubs) that have been known to be breeding grounds for MRSA, use antibacterial stuff alot, etc.
It's not a decision to take lightly if you really truly think that you are in love give your future some serious thought as this will affect it. Not only is there the possibility for both of you getting sick but there will be hospitalizations to deal with, home IVs, colds, ups and downs etc. Granted my situation is slightly different because I am post transplant but much of it is the same. Instead of you being the one in the hospital being sick now it's a loved one, instead of knowing your body you're dealing with a significant other who can't catch his breath and you die a little knowing that you can do nothing for him. It goes on, and it doesn't get easier.

Continuing on the 'you can pass germs thing':
Oddly enough I know of another CF/CF couple one has MRSA and the other went into the relationship knowing that and accepting that. He now cultures MSSA and not MRSA.

Having said all of that it's your decision.
I hope this helps.
In anycase sorry for the late response, I've been super busy in real life so I've only been able to check the boards once in the last 5 days or so.

IG · Sep 20, 2006

If I'm correct in the assumption I am the 'other lady on the boards' as previously mentioned.

It's not a smart idea to get involved with another CFer.
Having said that I will continue on and say that the heart doesn't think logically.
But that doesn't mean that the head can't.

If if you get involved with another CFer then you must let your doctor know.
That's the number one thing.
Like others have said there's a chance of germs (MRSA, B. Cepacia, Pseudo, etc) try to minimize those. Wash hands, kissing to a bear minimum, try to avoid places (hot tubs) that have been known to be breeding grounds for MRSA, use antibacterial stuff alot, etc.
It's not a decision to take lightly if you really truly think that you are in love give your future some serious thought as this will affect it. Not only is there the possibility for both of you getting sick but there will be hospitalizations to deal with, home IVs, colds, ups and downs etc. Granted my situation is slightly different because I am post transplant but much of it is the same. Instead of you being the one in the hospital being sick now it's a loved one, instead of knowing your body you're dealing with a significant other who can't catch his breath and you die a little knowing that you can do nothing for him. It goes on, and it doesn't get easier.

Continuing on the 'you can pass germs thing':
Oddly enough I know of another CF/CF couple one has MRSA and the other went into the relationship knowing that and accepting that. He now cultures MSSA and not MRSA.

Having said all of that it's your decision.
I hope this helps.
In anycase sorry for the late response, I've been super busy in real life so I've only been able to check the boards once in the last 5 days or so.

IG · Sep 20, 2006

If I'm correct in the assumption I am the 'other lady on the boards' as previously mentioned.

It's not a smart idea to get involved with another CFer.
Having said that I will continue on and say that the heart doesn't think logically.
But that doesn't mean that the head can't.

If if you get involved with another CFer then you must let your doctor know.
That's the number one thing.
Like others have said there's a chance of germs (MRSA, B. Cepacia, Pseudo, etc) try to minimize those. Wash hands, kissing to a bear minimum, try to avoid places (hot tubs) that have been known to be breeding grounds for MRSA, use antibacterial stuff alot, etc.
It's not a decision to take lightly if you really truly think that you are in love give your future some serious thought as this will affect it. Not only is there the possibility for both of you getting sick but there will be hospitalizations to deal with, home IVs, colds, ups and downs etc. Granted my situation is slightly different because I am post transplant but much of it is the same. Instead of you being the one in the hospital being sick now it's a loved one, instead of knowing your body you're dealing with a significant other who can't catch his breath and you die a little knowing that you can do nothing for him. It goes on, and it doesn't get easier.

Continuing on the 'you can pass germs thing':
Oddly enough I know of another CF/CF couple one has MRSA and the other went into the relationship knowing that and accepting that. He now cultures MSSA and not MRSA.

Having said all of that it's your decision.
I hope this helps.
In anycase sorry for the late response, I've been super busy in real life so I've only been able to check the boards once in the last 5 days or so.

becstar1 · Sep 27, 2006

Hey all thank you so much for your Advice but it is my birthday
tomorrow so i'm going to see what happends and i will have every
thing you said in my mind 
 
thanks XXX

becstar1 · Sep 27, 2006

Hey all thank you so much for your Advice but it is my birthday
tomorrow so i'm going to see what happends and i will have every
thing you said in my mind 
 
thanks XXX

becstar1 · Sep 27, 2006

Hey all thank you so much for your Advice but it is my birthday
tomorrow so i'm going to see what happends and i will have every
thing you said in my mind 
 
thanks XXX

has any one had a relationship with another CFer

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