Having more children

[Melissa75]

I think the relationship your kids have with relatives is an important consideration. When my kids were younger they saw their able-bodied grandparents a few times a year and I would not have left them with them for an extended period of time. They didn't have a familiarity with each other and the kids were too young to understand what "five" days or whatever is. (Weekends, I did do, and there was much crying but oh well.)
Now is a different story--at 6, 8 and 10, they understand the concept of time and they have built solid relationship with my ILs over time even though the contact is still not extensive.
My SIL, on the other hand, whose lives near her parents, was able to leave them comfortably when they were babies/toddlers.

 

[Melissa75]

I think the relationship your kids have with relatives is an important consideration. When my kids were younger they saw their able-bodied grandparents a few times a year and I would not have left them with them for an extended period of time. They didn't have a familiarity with each other and the kids were too young to understand what "five" days or whatever is. (Weekends, I did do, and there was much crying but oh well.)
Now is a different story--at 6, 8 and 10, they understand the concept of time and they have built solid relationship with my ILs over time even though the contact is still not extensive.
My SIL, on the other hand, whose lives near her parents, was able to leave them comfortably when they were babies/toddlers.

 

[Beccamom]

I may be coming from a very different perspective here. My 12 year old is suspected of having CF and has been hospitalized 3 times this past year. My 9 year old has gone through periods of resentment, compassion, and just plain confusion. The lesson I learned was to have a plan. Offer the healthy child as many choices as possible. Not the big choices of who stays home, but all the little choiceslike what bag to pack in or when to come visit in the hospital. The other side of it is that I am a military brat whose father was gone for 9the months of my 9 th grade year of high school. Being apart only made our relationship stronger. What my mom did that really helped was be honest with me and keep the routine. So don't feel guilty over a week here and a week there away from a healthy child. You are teaching your healthy child compassion, caring for others, and selflessness. Military kids grow up without both parents for months at a time and many rhen go into the military knowing that they too will leave their children for months on end. If the military kids thought the military experience was so aweful they would not chose it for themselves.

I think what makes the military life work is a large support system of people in the same situation. Encourage healthy siblings to befriend ither siblinga of CF children even if on-line.
Have more children if you want. Your children will be better people because you are taking so much care to think through how. Others will affect them. You will teach compassion.

 

[Beccamom]

I may be coming from a very different perspective here. My 12 year old is suspected of having CF and has been hospitalized 3 times this past year. My 9 year old has gone through periods of resentment, compassion, and just plain confusion. The lesson I learned was to have a plan. Offer the healthy child as many choices as possible. Not the big choices of who stays home, but all the little choiceslike what bag to pack in or when to come visit in the hospital. The other side of it is that I am a military brat whose father was gone for 9the months of my 9 th grade year of high school. Being apart only made our relationship stronger. What my mom did that really helped was be honest with me and keep the routine. So don't feel guilty over a week here and a week there away from a healthy child. You are teaching your healthy child compassion, caring for others, and selflessness. Military kids grow up without both parents for months at a time and many rhen go into the military knowing that they too will leave their children for months on end. If the military kids thought the military experience was so aweful they would not chose it for themselves.

I think what makes the military life work is a large support system of people in the same situation. Encourage healthy siblings to befriend ither siblinga of CF children even if on-line.
Have more children if you want. Your children will be better people because you are taking so much care to think through how. Others will affect them. You will teach compassion.

 

[cgerhardt]

I have three kids 2 with a typical and waiting on test for the other one. My youngest has been hospitalized 5 times in less than 2 yrs. He is just 3 yrs old. We are very lucky we have both sets of parents nearby, my in laws are the primary caregivers when we are in the hospital. We let the grandparents work out arrangement themselves it helps they get along great. My in laws had a daughter with CF so they know the routine. The reason my husband and I stay there together ( not all the time) is because when he is in isolation we can't leave him by himself to get something to eat or just get some fresh air. Yes the do have people that could stay with him but hospital stays are scary and he doesn't want strangers staying with him while mommy leaves. We talk to our other kids on the phone at least twice a dayand we will take turns going home. My husband will go home more than me but he also works and I don't. They don't seem to mind spending time with thier grandparents. My husmand growing up being the healthy child and he says he never resented his sister.

 

[cgerhardt]

I have three kids 2 with a typical and waiting on test for the other one. My youngest has been hospitalized 5 times in less than 2 yrs. He is just 3 yrs old. We are very lucky we have both sets of parents nearby, my in laws are the primary caregivers when we are in the hospital. We let the grandparents work out arrangement themselves it helps they get along great. My in laws had a daughter with CF so they know the routine. The reason my husband and I stay there together ( not all the time) is because when he is in isolation we can't leave him by himself to get something to eat or just get some fresh air. Yes the do have people that could stay with him but hospital stays are scary and he doesn't want strangers staying with him while mommy leaves. We talk to our other kids on the phone at least twice a dayand we will take turns going home. My husband will go home more than me but he also works and I don't. They don't seem to mind spending time with thier grandparents. My husmand growing up being the healthy child and he says he never resented his sister.

 

[SARAHSARAH253]

Wow...Very disappointing to read sarajerome's comments. Strange how some people cast so much judgement on others. That's shocking to me especially coming from a mother that has chronic disease herself. You would want support for your choices, I expect the same in return. Please don't put me on trial for giving my little boy 100% for his 1st hospital stay.

This is not what I believe the forums are for. The original poster wanted to know about more children/hospital stays. Not people disputing parenting.

 

[SARAHSARAH253]

Wow...Very disappointing to read sarajerome's comments. Strange how some people cast so much judgement on others. That's shocking to me especially coming from a mother that has chronic disease herself. You would want support for your choices, I expect the same in return. Please don't put me on trial for giving my little boy 100% for his 1st hospital stay.

This is not what I believe the forums are for. The original poster wanted to know about more children/hospital stays. Not people disputing parenting.

 

[mamaScarlett]

I can't hold back from saying to any parent of a child with Cf, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent leaving one child with a trusted relative, so they can care for their other child. NOTHING. That is called being a parent. That is called life. That is called training.

 

[mamaScarlett]

I can't hold back from saying to any parent of a child with Cf, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent leaving one child with a trusted relative, so they can care for their other child. NOTHING. That is called being a parent. That is called life. That is called training.

 

[imported_Momto2]

I dont think I was judging anyone, merely talking about some situations I have seen and their outcomes. Every family is different and has uniquest circumstances with which they must cope, I'm just trying to convey some of the ones I've been involved with and how they turned out in the long run. I have seen a lot of messed up little kids over the past decade who are chronically afraid that their parents will not be there for them when needed. Its very sad, and yes, it obviously pushes my button.

 

[imported_Momto2]

I dont think I was judging anyone, merely talking about some situations I have seen and their outcomes. Every family is different and has uniquest circumstances with which they must cope, I'm just trying to convey some of the ones I've been involved with and how they turned out in the long run. I have seen a lot of messed up little kids over the past decade who are chronically afraid that their parents will not be there for them when needed. Its very sad, and yes, it obviously pushes my button.