Heading back to church

[mamerth]

We are heading back to church after months and months of not going. I am anxious. The last time we went I was worn out from all the comments and "pity" looks from people. I miss church but don't go because the above drives me nuts.

We attend a very touchy hugging church. I don't like to be hugged because I usually come home with something icky and suffer for weeks. How do I avoid hugs from people?? I don't shake hands with people anymore either (if I can manage).

People ask me questions like "Are you still sick" and "why haven't you been to church lately. I am out of good answers. Oh the pity looks when I cough are enough to make me want to scream.

I would stay home and avoid all of this but Kiddo is asking to go to church and I want to honor his request.

P.S. I do have a mask but I don't like to wear it during the church service (get too hot).

 

[mamerth]

We are heading back to church after months and months of not going. I am anxious. The last time we went I was worn out from all the comments and "pity" looks from people. I miss church but don't go because the above drives me nuts.

We attend a very touchy hugging church. I don't like to be hugged because I usually come home with something icky and suffer for weeks. How do I avoid hugs from people?? I don't shake hands with people anymore either (if I can manage).

People ask me questions like "Are you still sick" and "why haven't you been to church lately. I am out of good answers. Oh the pity looks when I cough are enough to make me want to scream.

I would stay home and avoid all of this but Kiddo is asking to go to church and I want to honor his request.

P.S. I do have a mask but I don't like to wear it during the church service (get too hot).

 

[mamerth]

We are heading back to church after months and months of not going. I am anxious. The last time we went I was worn out from all the comments and "pity" looks from people. I miss church but don't go because the above drives me nuts.
<br />
<br />We attend a very touchy hugging church. I don't like to be hugged because I usually come home with something icky and suffer for weeks. How do I avoid hugs from people?? I don't shake hands with people anymore either (if I can manage).
<br />
<br />People ask me questions like "Are you still sick" and "why haven't you been to church lately. I am out of good answers. Oh the pity looks when I cough are enough to make me want to scream.
<br />
<br />I would stay home and avoid all of this but Kiddo is asking to go to church and I want to honor his request.
<br />
<br />P.S. I do have a mask but I don't like to wear it during the church service (get too hot).

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi there,

I guess my suggestion for this situation would be 'knowledge is power'. I don't know how big your church is, but if it's small enough, it is possible that the community would eventually all learn about your situation and know the no-hugging-no-handshake rules for you.

When I used to go to church years ago, there was a child who used to "cough" repeatedly during the service. In the beginning, everyone would ask if the child would like a cough drop, a drink, etc. The mother just kept saying 'no', and that he was fine. But after having to refuse the help week after week, she finally started saying that her son had Tourette's syndrome. Once people knew, they stopped asking and his noises became a normal part of the service.

So in a sense, I'm hoping that once you start to tell people and they understand a little better about your situation, maybe it won't be so difficult. But I can see how that might be hard when you don't go very often. But maybe now that your son wants to go, maybe you will be there more often and people will get to know you a little better and understand your situation.

I wish you luck!

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi there,

I guess my suggestion for this situation would be 'knowledge is power'. I don't know how big your church is, but if it's small enough, it is possible that the community would eventually all learn about your situation and know the no-hugging-no-handshake rules for you.

When I used to go to church years ago, there was a child who used to "cough" repeatedly during the service. In the beginning, everyone would ask if the child would like a cough drop, a drink, etc. The mother just kept saying 'no', and that he was fine. But after having to refuse the help week after week, she finally started saying that her son had Tourette's syndrome. Once people knew, they stopped asking and his noises became a normal part of the service.

So in a sense, I'm hoping that once you start to tell people and they understand a little better about your situation, maybe it won't be so difficult. But I can see how that might be hard when you don't go very often. But maybe now that your son wants to go, maybe you will be there more often and people will get to know you a little better and understand your situation.

I wish you luck!

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi there,
<br />
<br />I guess my suggestion for this situation would be 'knowledge is power'. I don't know how big your church is, but if it's small enough, it is possible that the community would eventually all learn about your situation and know the no-hugging-no-handshake rules for you.
<br />
<br />When I used to go to church years ago, there was a child who used to "cough" repeatedly during the service. In the beginning, everyone would ask if the child would like a cough drop, a drink, etc. The mother just kept saying 'no', and that he was fine. But after having to refuse the help week after week, she finally started saying that her son had Tourette's syndrome. Once people knew, they stopped asking and his noises became a normal part of the service.
<br />
<br />So in a sense, I'm hoping that once you start to tell people and they understand a little better about your situation, maybe it won't be so difficult. But I can see how that might be hard when you don't go very often. But maybe now that your son wants to go, maybe you will be there more often and people will get to know you a little better and understand your situation.
<br />
<br />I wish you luck!

 

[mousesmom]

Hi not sure if this will help - in our church we "pass the peace" which means we sort of grip or shake hands with the people near us (and being touchy feely people) some like to hug. M automatically sticks out her hands to avoid the hug, and after all this is all over she quickly rubs her hands with sanitizer. (she also doesn't like others to know).
good luck

 

[mousesmom]

Hi not sure if this will help - in our church we "pass the peace" which means we sort of grip or shake hands with the people near us (and being touchy feely people) some like to hug. M automatically sticks out her hands to avoid the hug, and after all this is all over she quickly rubs her hands with sanitizer. (she also doesn't like others to know).
good luck

 

[mousesmom]

Hi not sure if this will help - in our church we "pass the peace" which means we sort of grip or shake hands with the people near us (and being touchy feely people) some like to hug. M automatically sticks out her hands to avoid the hug, and after all this is all over she quickly rubs her hands with sanitizer. (she also doesn't like others to know).
<br />good luck

 

[Ratatosk]

Because of the recent H1N1 issue last year, I know a lot of churches during cold & flu season don't DO the pass the peace. Think one of my coworker's church bump elbows or just nod and say peace be with you. At my inlaws church, where my son goes, I tend to say good morning right away and if a handshake can't be avoided, I use hand sanitizer right away. I also avoid shaking the minister's hand when I leave and just greet them.

Maybe you could speak with your pastor and indicate your concerns and they could have a similar policy.

Otherwise, IMO, I'd be tempted to find a different church if people were giving me the pity look or are a bit too nosy. Have a fresh start. 'Course I'm a Presbyterian, so we're more stoic and not really into the hugging. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[Ratatosk]

Because of the recent H1N1 issue last year, I know a lot of churches during cold & flu season don't DO the pass the peace. Think one of my coworker's church bump elbows or just nod and say peace be with you. At my inlaws church, where my son goes, I tend to say good morning right away and if a handshake can't be avoided, I use hand sanitizer right away. I also avoid shaking the minister's hand when I leave and just greet them.

Maybe you could speak with your pastor and indicate your concerns and they could have a similar policy.

Otherwise, IMO, I'd be tempted to find a different church if people were giving me the pity look or are a bit too nosy. Have a fresh start. 'Course I'm a Presbyterian, so we're more stoic and not really into the hugging. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[Ratatosk]

Because of the recent H1N1 issue last year, I know a lot of churches during cold & flu season don't DO the pass the peace. Think one of my coworker's church bump elbows or just nod and say peace be with you. At my inlaws church, where my son goes, I tend to say good morning right away and if a handshake can't be avoided, I use hand sanitizer right away. I also avoid shaking the minister's hand when I leave and just greet them.
<br />
<br />Maybe you could speak with your pastor and indicate your concerns and they could have a similar policy.
<br />
<br />Otherwise, IMO, I'd be tempted to find a different church if people were giving me the pity look or are a bit too nosy. Have a fresh start. 'Course I'm a Presbyterian, so we're more stoic and not really into the hugging. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[JennifersHope]

I would suggest wearing gloves, I am serious. If someone wants to shake your hand they will come in contact with your glove, not your hand.

I also always, always get the do you want a cough drop or a drink of water everywhere I go, I always just say no thank you I am okay.

People in general mean well, they are not trying to contaminate you with their germs, they are actually trying to be loving which is sweet in its own way.

I do think people will get the hint if you wear either cloth gloves or latex gloves

 

[JennifersHope]

I would suggest wearing gloves, I am serious. If someone wants to shake your hand they will come in contact with your glove, not your hand.

I also always, always get the do you want a cough drop or a drink of water everywhere I go, I always just say no thank you I am okay.

People in general mean well, they are not trying to contaminate you with their germs, they are actually trying to be loving which is sweet in its own way.

I do think people will get the hint if you wear either cloth gloves or latex gloves

 

[JennifersHope]

I would suggest wearing gloves, I am serious. If someone wants to shake your hand they will come in contact with your glove, not your hand.
<br />
<br />I also always, always get the do you want a cough drop or a drink of water everywhere I go, I always just say no thank you I am okay.
<br />
<br />People in general mean well, they are not trying to contaminate you with their germs, they are actually trying to be loving which is sweet in its own way.
<br />
<br />I do think people will get the hint if you wear either cloth gloves or latex gloves

 

[mamerth]

Thank you for the advice. Oh... I love the gloves idea... I will try that one. I usually leave during the greeting time (hide in the bathroom). It is a very touchy huggy church. They hug people in the foyer, in bible study classes, on the way to the parking lot... I don't like people hugging me even if I didn't have CF-- just not a huggy, touchy person.

It is a very large church... but very friendly. The unfortunate things is a lot of people knows I have CF-- wish they didn't.

My plan (that I came up with this morning) is to sit in the sanctuary and read during bible study time. The less I am seen the less pity looks I will get. I am going carry one of my masks with me and keep my hands my pockets. The weather is suppose to be nice so during coffee and snack time I will go outside in the sunshine away from the crowds. I am going to carry a bottle of purell in my purse and bath in it.

The important thing is Kiddo will get to go to his bible study class and see his old friends.

 

[mamerth]

Thank you for the advice. Oh... I love the gloves idea... I will try that one. I usually leave during the greeting time (hide in the bathroom). It is a very touchy huggy church. They hug people in the foyer, in bible study classes, on the way to the parking lot... I don't like people hugging me even if I didn't have CF-- just not a huggy, touchy person.

It is a very large church... but very friendly. The unfortunate things is a lot of people knows I have CF-- wish they didn't.

My plan (that I came up with this morning) is to sit in the sanctuary and read during bible study time. The less I am seen the less pity looks I will get. I am going carry one of my masks with me and keep my hands my pockets. The weather is suppose to be nice so during coffee and snack time I will go outside in the sunshine away from the crowds. I am going to carry a bottle of purell in my purse and bath in it.

The important thing is Kiddo will get to go to his bible study class and see his old friends.

 

[mamerth]

Thank you for the advice. Oh... I love the gloves idea... I will try that one. I usually leave during the greeting time (hide in the bathroom). It is a very touchy huggy church. They hug people in the foyer, in bible study classes, on the way to the parking lot... I don't like people hugging me even if I didn't have CF-- just not a huggy, touchy person.
<br />
<br />It is a very large church... but very friendly. The unfortunate things is a lot of people knows I have CF-- wish they didn't.
<br />
<br />My plan (that I came up with this morning) is to sit in the sanctuary and read during bible study time. The less I am seen the less pity looks I will get. I am going carry one of my masks with me and keep my hands my pockets. The weather is suppose to be nice so during coffee and snack time I will go outside in the sunshine away from the crowds. I am going to carry a bottle of purell in my purse and bath in it.
<br />
<br />The important thing is Kiddo will get to go to his bible study class and see his old friends.

 

[Ratatosk]

I actually have a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer from Bath & Bodyworks in a holder than hangs off the strap of my purse. I use it frequently when I'm out and about. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The other thing is... I don't go to my inlaws church, so when my inlaws are out of town, I'm one of those parents that just drops DS off for Sunday School and then I pick him up when it's over with unless he sings during church. Then I'll go. So I imagine you could do something similar. I don't have health issues, I'm just a heathen! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[Ratatosk]

I actually have a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer from Bath & Bodyworks in a holder than hangs off the strap of my purse. I use it frequently when I'm out and about. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The other thing is... I don't go to my inlaws church, so when my inlaws are out of town, I'm one of those parents that just drops DS off for Sunday School and then I pick him up when it's over with unless he sings during church. Then I'll go. So I imagine you could do something similar. I don't have health issues, I'm just a heathen! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">