Help me with helping each other...

farbeyond1

New member
Hello,

My intention is to help other people with CF get the resources they need to better cope with the lives they live. Please help me by not only reading this forum, but by also trying to better understand what it is in your life that could be better, or could have been better growing up. Sure, we are all used to living with this illness, but that does not eliminate the possibility of living with it in a more healthy, positive, productive manor.

My name is Mike, I'm a 27 year old living with Cystic Fibrosis in Rhode Island. Throughout my life I've seen that doctors have done great things to keep us as physically healthy as possible. Teams have been gathered for countless experiments in hopes to some day cure our disease. Nutritionists have been brought in and recruited to help us sustain an adequate weight. All of these resources have greatly improved our standard of living over the past 20 years. My question to you and to all the people involved with the care of Cystic Fibrosis is, where is the support and help with the emotional, social and psychological aspects of Cystic Fibrosis? Rhode Island, along with many other states does not have adequate support for families, siblings, friends and patients that are living with Cystic Fibrosis. From what I have gathered, this is partially because from the early 80's we were only expected to live to age 15-20. Nobody predicted that there would be any need for help with Cystic Fibrosis patients developing into adults. Just because we deal with an illness, that may some day be life threatening, does not mean we cannot live productive, happy lives.

As a child I was conditioned to the hospital environment, regularly being admitted for 2-3 week stays. The hospital although was not a place I enjoyed being, became one of the most comfortable social environments for me. Once being released from the hospital I was forced into a world that did not understand what I was going through. Teachers did not have the ability to understand what their Cystic Fibrosis patients were going through, which caused some confusion with certain behavior patters and the constant falling behind with school work. This to me, is not societies responsibility. This is the responsibility of the Cystic Fibrosis organization, the clinics that help us stay alive. To me, these facilities need to be better educated with the social aspect of living with the disease. Nobody is going to be able to help us achieve the best possible lifestyle without first helping each other. We all have a story to tell, we've all become experts of our disease. Being able to reach inside of yourself and determine how this disease has affected your life may not be easy, but if you can start to understand why, I feel it will greatly assist you in becoming a more positive person. Although there are several people in the world that have accomplished great things in life, these people too... at one point of there life probably could have used a helping hand with their emotions.

I am currently living and starting to work on this problem in Rhode Island. I am currently hospitalized for 2-3 weeks and have gathered a great deal of resources in my community that will hopefully assist me with helping others. I plan on donating much of my time with writing to the experts, attending several meetings with physicians and social workers to try and stress what else is needed in the Cystic Fibrosis community. I need your help as well. You all have needs out there, please share them with me. Let me know how your life has been living with this illness and what you think could be done better... for yourself, as well as for parents with newborn children with Cystic Fibrosis. I've had the realization that to be physically healthy, you must also be mentally healthy. Finding a balance within these two areas is what I hope to achieve. I hope to some day lead an organization that will allow me to utilize my knowledge and gather resources to help our community become healthy, both physically and mentally.

Please feel free to respond and or email me any time. I can be reached at "farbeyond1@cox.net." If anyone would like to chat about life, there illness, or to have a better understanding of who I am, please don't hesitate to write.

Thank you for taking time to read this,
Mike
 

JazzysMom

New member
I appreciate your effort. My CF office is in a study offered by the CFF regarding just this issue. Of course it is voluntary, but hit the issues that have not needed addressing as much before. Everthing from support groups for Moms with CF to problems at work to just living as an Adult with CF & what toll/influence it has on your life. One thing it asks for is "what" do we think would be of help. Programs, people, meds etc. That is really difficult to answer for me. Each day I think I could use something else.
 

anonymous

New member
Hi Melissa,

Those support groups will definitely have extensive answers to the question "what will help." Although I realize many of our problems will be different, as we all experience life on our own individual level... I do think we could all find a common factor that we've lived with all our lives. Certain problems in adult life to me, stem from experiences growing up. We all had to be much more mature at young ages, mainly because we were forced into dealing with a part of life that most people don't experience until they are much older. Being sick and having constant dealings with the hospital can shape certain people to become very negative and bitter as they grow older. Sickness for me caused a lot of negative emotions to arrise. It was easier for me as a child to be angry, than it was to be upset and try and deal with being ill. Myself as well as many others with CF have been born with no guidance through adolesence, family support can only go so far, especially since the illness was all new for them as well. More experienced people that have already lived the life, experienced some of the negative psychological aspects should be able to now help kids and teens going through the same phases. Granted, we may not be able to take away the pain and negativity, but we can try to help others understand it better, to let them know that things will be okay. Some of the stories I've heard during my current hospital stay make me feel a so sad for the children that are now going through what I did at thier age. One respiratory therapist was speaking to me about an 11 year old girl that was ready to give up, and vocalizing to people that she wished she would just die. A child that age needs counseling, and obviously the counseling should have started much earlier in order to try and prevent such horrible thoughts. Yes, our disease isn't pleasant and we do have to deal with a lot. We do only live once, and I'm hopeful that there is a way to now connect with people to let them see the strenght inside their minds. To allow this strength to overcome any physical inabilities a person may need to deal with.

What kind of help does your office provide? How did you go about opening up an office?
 

anonymous

New member
Are the issues you want to address mainly about the current (for the most part, at most clinics in most states) lack of emotional and meantal support relating to CF? If so, I can't really offer any recommendations for that, but I will ask my husband to submit some of his feedback. My soapbox, over and over again is the lack of doctors addressing reproductive issues, both male and female. Although especially the male since there is a known CF fertility reason (congenital bilateral absense of the vas deferens, which occurs in the embryo developement before 12 weeks-contrary to popular belief, it is NOT a blockag from mucus like the females case is-just got that info from 2 CF experts who provided feedback on my site, so I will be updating that). so even though some doctors tell their male patients, "you may not be able to have children because of CBAVD" that's it. No recommendation they visit an infertility specialist if they are trying to concieve, no recommendations to submit a sperm sample so the patient can know if they have CBAVD, no information passed on, IVF, MESA (or any other sperm retrieval method) that even though they may not be able to concieve naturally, they can still have a biological child under most circumstances (provided there are no female fertitliy issues of the partner, sperm retrieved from aspiration is viable). That information is very important to a young male. I remember my hsuband telling me about the day his doctors "dropped the bomb" on him, and just left it at that, no recommendations to see an infertility clinic or anything else. He was devistated, decided right then and there he didn't want to get married because he couldn't have kids....he became very depressed. I think it is a viable issue to be addressed!

Julie (wife to Mark 24 w/CF)
<a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cysticfibrosismaleinfertility.com">www.cysticfibrosismaleinfertility.com</a>
 

JazzysMom

New member
To Mike:
When I refer to my office, I mean my CF doctors. Every survey or trial research the CFF has going on, my Doctors participate in.
 

anonymous

New member
I am currently in the works of trying to enlighten my CF clinic as to how many people in the CF community could benefit from having someone to talk to, someone that they could have direct contact with in my area... in hopes to have this spreat throughout the nation. My doctors seem very receptive to what I've been discussing with them, which is the problems outside of my physical health I've experienced as a child right up until now. I know there are many things that could be better for us. Having support for families, especially for families for newly born CF children would allow their children to try and learn to live life to the fullest, instead of getting into the depression that many of us face. This disease isn't killing us off early, as it has in the past. We're all getting the chance to live longer, fuller lives... and because of this, I feel they should now have more support for us to develop healthy lives, both mentally and physically.

I will be starting a newsletter in my area shortly. I am hoping to have this spread around my area & possibly online as well. I also know that certain states do have more resources available for CF. Another goal is to try and visit many of these facilites... such as San Diego, to see what ideas I could bring back to my state.

If we could all just pool together our thoughts and ideas, I'm sure the future Cystic Fibrosis community could be better understood by all.

Once again, if anyone would like to contact me personally, my email is "Farbeyond1@cox.net."

Thanks,
Mike
 
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