HELP! Public school is trying to force us to have my son skip a grade.

posoutlook

New member
I had posted a week or so ago about the Cf and IQ so my story is in that post
My son tested into Kindergarten early at 4. He has done well in school academically but around 2nd grade I noticed how small he was and with him being sick he would get really frustrated when he missed school cause of all of the catching up. At that time we considered holding him back but decided to wait until after 3rd grade. Well in the mean time he got diagnosed with CF mid way through third, he did finish with an A average but because of all of the doctors appointments and him being sick he spent every evening trying to catch up.. So because of the stress level for him in a lot of areas dealing with a new diagnosis, missing so much school, his treatments which as everyone knows are time consuming we decided to hold him back so he is with his age appropriate class.
This years since he is repeating we tested him for the gifted program. Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.
They will not consider Luke as an individual they are just looking at the test. They know he has CF he has a 504 plan at the school he has missed more than 20 days of school and we are just finishing up the second month. So now we have to pay for an attorney for my son to be able to have to same rights any student has. What really gets me is that the school was the ones telling us he needs to be challenged and is way advanced and now that we want him challenged they say no because we won't move him up a grade.
My frustration comes from that fact that no one wants to look at the fact that he has CF and his life at home is a lot more complicated with treatments, doctors, exercise and not to mention the emotional side of a new diagnosis. He is in the 10% and already gets teased from being so small so they want me to put him in with 11year old kids when he is barely 9. And another concern is that from what I read CF kids go through puberty later than others.
My question is if anyone is willing to post there opinion and facts about how complicated this disease is so I can print it and show it as evidence on how CF effects the lives of not only children but the whole family. CF is so rare that I truly believe that they look at him and say well he looks normal like all of the other kids so it can't be that bad..
 

posoutlook

New member
I had posted a week or so ago about the Cf and IQ so my story is in that post
My son tested into Kindergarten early at 4. He has done well in school academically but around 2nd grade I noticed how small he was and with him being sick he would get really frustrated when he missed school cause of all of the catching up. At that time we considered holding him back but decided to wait until after 3rd grade. Well in the mean time he got diagnosed with CF mid way through third, he did finish with an A average but because of all of the doctors appointments and him being sick he spent every evening trying to catch up.. So because of the stress level for him in a lot of areas dealing with a new diagnosis, missing so much school, his treatments which as everyone knows are time consuming we decided to hold him back so he is with his age appropriate class.
This years since he is repeating we tested him for the gifted program. Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.
They will not consider Luke as an individual they are just looking at the test. They know he has CF he has a 504 plan at the school he has missed more than 20 days of school and we are just finishing up the second month. So now we have to pay for an attorney for my son to be able to have to same rights any student has. What really gets me is that the school was the ones telling us he needs to be challenged and is way advanced and now that we want him challenged they say no because we won't move him up a grade.
My frustration comes from that fact that no one wants to look at the fact that he has CF and his life at home is a lot more complicated with treatments, doctors, exercise and not to mention the emotional side of a new diagnosis. He is in the 10% and already gets teased from being so small so they want me to put him in with 11year old kids when he is barely 9. And another concern is that from what I read CF kids go through puberty later than others.
My question is if anyone is willing to post there opinion and facts about how complicated this disease is so I can print it and show it as evidence on how CF effects the lives of not only children but the whole family. CF is so rare that I truly believe that they look at him and say well he looks normal like all of the other kids so it can't be that bad..
 

posoutlook

New member
I had posted a week or so ago about the Cf and IQ so my story is in that post
<br />My son tested into Kindergarten early at 4. He has done well in school academically but around 2nd grade I noticed how small he was and with him being sick he would get really frustrated when he missed school cause of all of the catching up. At that time we considered holding him back but decided to wait until after 3rd grade. Well in the mean time he got diagnosed with CF mid way through third, he did finish with an A average but because of all of the doctors appointments and him being sick he spent every evening trying to catch up.. So because of the stress level for him in a lot of areas dealing with a new diagnosis, missing so much school, his treatments which as everyone knows are time consuming we decided to hold him back so he is with his age appropriate class.
<br />This years since he is repeating we tested him for the gifted program. Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
<br />My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
<br />I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.
<br />They will not consider Luke as an individual they are just looking at the test. They know he has CF he has a 504 plan at the school he has missed more than 20 days of school and we are just finishing up the second month. So now we have to pay for an attorney for my son to be able to have to same rights any student has. What really gets me is that the school was the ones telling us he needs to be challenged and is way advanced and now that we want him challenged they say no because we won't move him up a grade.
<br />My frustration comes from that fact that no one wants to look at the fact that he has CF and his life at home is a lot more complicated with treatments, doctors, exercise and not to mention the emotional side of a new diagnosis. He is in the 10% and already gets teased from being so small so they want me to put him in with 11year old kids when he is barely 9. And another concern is that from what I read CF kids go through puberty later than others.
<br />My question is if anyone is willing to post there opinion and facts about how complicated this disease is so I can print it and show it as evidence on how CF effects the lives of not only children but the whole family. CF is so rare that I truly believe that they look at him and say well he looks normal like all of the other kids so it can't be that bad..
<br />
<br />
 

hmw

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.</end quote></div>
To deny your son being part of the gifted and enrichment programs if they have them at the school and your son qualifies for them (and he certainly does based on his testing scores) is WRONG and quite possibly illegal (just like it's illegal to deny special education services to those that need them.) They cannot browbeat you into forcing him to skip a grade- that is not 'typical' educationally speaking and has a lot of both short term and long term ramifications that one year's teachers cannot decide on their own to force on a kid.

I would start by finding an educational advocate. All states have them and they do NOT cost money (some do, but all states have them organizations that offer services without charge as well.) They should have advice for you on how to proceed as well as possibly how to proceed legally (if necessary) without having to pay a fortune for it.

I agree totally with your concerns and would NOT put a tiny 9yr old in a classroom of 11yr olds, personally, regardless of his academic prowess. Social issues, concerns that will arise with impending puberty, etc all play a role... there are ways to challenge a child academically without advancing them by grades.
 

hmw

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.</end quote>
To deny your son being part of the gifted and enrichment programs if they have them at the school and your son qualifies for them (and he certainly does based on his testing scores) is WRONG and quite possibly illegal (just like it's illegal to deny special education services to those that need them.) They cannot browbeat you into forcing him to skip a grade- that is not 'typical' educationally speaking and has a lot of both short term and long term ramifications that one year's teachers cannot decide on their own to force on a kid.

I would start by finding an educational advocate. All states have them and they do NOT cost money (some do, but all states have them organizations that offer services without charge as well.) They should have advice for you on how to proceed as well as possibly how to proceed legally (if necessary) without having to pay a fortune for it.

I agree totally with your concerns and would NOT put a tiny 9yr old in a classroom of 11yr olds, personally, regardless of his academic prowess. Social issues, concerns that will arise with impending puberty, etc all play a role... there are ways to challenge a child academically without advancing them by grades.
 

hmw

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Well the results came back and the schools recommendation is for us to have him jump from 3rd to 4th and have him do 5th grade reading and math along with the gifted they came to that recommendation based only on his IQ.
<br />My husband and I decided that it is best for him to stay in third but to challenge him with gifted in 3rd and 4th grade reading and math (which is called enrichment program.
<br />I just got a letter from the school saying if we don't take there full recommendation by moving him up a grade then they will not do anything with him just leave him in 3rrd with no challenges. I am completely shocked. I was told that if I want anything different I needed to go through mediation and the get an attorney for a hearing.</end quote>
<br />To deny your son being part of the gifted and enrichment programs if they have them at the school and your son qualifies for them (and he certainly does based on his testing scores) is WRONG and quite possibly illegal (just like it's illegal to deny special education services to those that need them.) They cannot browbeat you into forcing him to skip a grade- that is not 'typical' educationally speaking and has a lot of both short term and long term ramifications that one year's teachers cannot decide on their own to force on a kid.
<br />
<br />I would start by finding an educational advocate. All states have them and they do NOT cost money (some do, but all states have them organizations that offer services without charge as well.) They should have advice for you on how to proceed as well as possibly how to proceed legally (if necessary) without having to pay a fortune for it.
<br />
<br />I agree totally with your concerns and would NOT put a tiny 9yr old in a classroom of 11yr olds, personally, regardless of his academic prowess. Social issues, concerns that will arise with impending puberty, etc all play a role... there are ways to challenge a child academically without advancing them by grades.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I don't have a lot to add, but I would strongly suggest that you get the CF center social worker involved here. Maybe she can attend a meeting or craft a document that shows the downsides. I was given an article at diagnosis about the social impact of CF... looking at being smaller, hitting puberty later, etc. I really don't know where it is as it was sooooo far from my concern at the time. But I bet your social worker could help with this.

For what its worth, I think its great that you are looking at the whole child and not just his intelligence. Intelligence is very important, but will not move him in successful directions if he is consumed by being the youngest, smallest, sickest kid who thus has trouble fitting in and is out of school so much that his stress and anxiety levels increase. I hope you can figure this all out. I don't know that there is a right answer, but you are his parents and you deserve to have a say in what is right for him.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I don't have a lot to add, but I would strongly suggest that you get the CF center social worker involved here. Maybe she can attend a meeting or craft a document that shows the downsides. I was given an article at diagnosis about the social impact of CF... looking at being smaller, hitting puberty later, etc. I really don't know where it is as it was sooooo far from my concern at the time. But I bet your social worker could help with this.

For what its worth, I think its great that you are looking at the whole child and not just his intelligence. Intelligence is very important, but will not move him in successful directions if he is consumed by being the youngest, smallest, sickest kid who thus has trouble fitting in and is out of school so much that his stress and anxiety levels increase. I hope you can figure this all out. I don't know that there is a right answer, but you are his parents and you deserve to have a say in what is right for him.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I don't have a lot to add, but I would strongly suggest that you get the CF center social worker involved here. Maybe she can attend a meeting or craft a document that shows the downsides. I was given an article at diagnosis about the social impact of CF... looking at being smaller, hitting puberty later, etc. I really don't know where it is as it was sooooo far from my concern at the time. But I bet your social worker could help with this.
<br />
<br />For what its worth, I think its great that you are looking at the whole child and not just his intelligence. Intelligence is very important, but will not move him in successful directions if he is consumed by being the youngest, smallest, sickest kid who thus has trouble fitting in and is out of school so much that his stress and anxiety levels increase. I hope you can figure this all out. I don't know that there is a right answer, but you are his parents and you deserve to have a say in what is right for him.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
Oh and I find it horrid that they are essentially saying, "do it our way, or you get nothing." That is manipulative and no worse than the neighborhood bully!!!!!
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
Oh and I find it horrid that they are essentially saying, "do it our way, or you get nothing." That is manipulative and no worse than the neighborhood bully!!!!!
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
Oh and I find it horrid that they are essentially saying, "do it our way, or you get nothing." That is manipulative and no worse than the neighborhood bully!!!!!
 

posoutlook

New member
Its funny you say that about being a bully cause I just told my husband last week they had bully prevention week and now I feel like they are bullying me.
 

posoutlook

New member
Its funny you say that about being a bully cause I just told my husband last week they had bully prevention week and now I feel like they are bullying me.
 

posoutlook

New member
Its funny you say that about being a bully cause I just told my husband last week they had bully prevention week and now I feel like they are bullying me.
 

robert321

New member
Thats absurd that they they're telling you to do it my way or the highway.
I would be hesitant to move him up a grade at all because while I wasn't yet diagnosed with cf, all the other guys were hitting puberty before me. I was already a bit scrawny and a little dorky and that didn't help a bit. Ok I was really dorky, I think it was my 3rd grade year that I tucked my tshirts in so everyone could see my clip-on-belt watch. I would have worn pocket protectors if I wore shirts with pockets. It was probably my 8th grade year when I started catching up with everyone else, then shortly after I was dxed with cf. I can't imagine what being a grade ahead would have done with all that. Bring up in your case that a person with cf typically will hit puberty late and being in a grade with older kids could cause all sorts of problems with self esteem, social issues, etc.
 

robert321

New member
Thats absurd that they they're telling you to do it my way or the highway.
I would be hesitant to move him up a grade at all because while I wasn't yet diagnosed with cf, all the other guys were hitting puberty before me. I was already a bit scrawny and a little dorky and that didn't help a bit. Ok I was really dorky, I think it was my 3rd grade year that I tucked my tshirts in so everyone could see my clip-on-belt watch. I would have worn pocket protectors if I wore shirts with pockets. It was probably my 8th grade year when I started catching up with everyone else, then shortly after I was dxed with cf. I can't imagine what being a grade ahead would have done with all that. Bring up in your case that a person with cf typically will hit puberty late and being in a grade with older kids could cause all sorts of problems with self esteem, social issues, etc.
 

robert321

New member
Thats absurd that they they're telling you to do it my way or the highway.
<br />I would be hesitant to move him up a grade at all because while I wasn't yet diagnosed with cf, all the other guys were hitting puberty before me. I was already a bit scrawny and a little dorky and that didn't help a bit. Ok I was really dorky, I think it was my 3rd grade year that I tucked my tshirts in so everyone could see my clip-on-belt watch. I would have worn pocket protectors if I wore shirts with pockets. It was probably my 8th grade year when I started catching up with everyone else, then shortly after I was dxed with cf. I can't imagine what being a grade ahead would have done with all that. Bring up in your case that a person with cf typically will hit puberty late and being in a grade with older kids could cause all sorts of problems with self esteem, social issues, etc.
 

auntcob

New member
Hi--First of all, the school should have evaluated your son with a multidisciplinary team--it should have been more than IQ testing. Harriet is right--if you son has been identified as gifted, he has a legal right to a GIEP. An educational advocate is a good idea. I would also recommend checking websites for the National Association for Gifted Children and the National Association for Gifted and Talented Children. They will have information about advocacy and procedures in cases like you. In our district, if you disagree with the school finding, mediation is the next step but with an advocate, you do not need a lawyer (usually). There are also psychologists who specialize in educational evaluation. The evals are costly ( 2,000-3,000) but the school district, in certain cases, is responsible for some of that bill. That might be less expensive than a lawyer.

Hope some of this helps
 

auntcob

New member
Hi--First of all, the school should have evaluated your son with a multidisciplinary team--it should have been more than IQ testing. Harriet is right--if you son has been identified as gifted, he has a legal right to a GIEP. An educational advocate is a good idea. I would also recommend checking websites for the National Association for Gifted Children and the National Association for Gifted and Talented Children. They will have information about advocacy and procedures in cases like you. In our district, if you disagree with the school finding, mediation is the next step but with an advocate, you do not need a lawyer (usually). There are also psychologists who specialize in educational evaluation. The evals are costly ( 2,000-3,000) but the school district, in certain cases, is responsible for some of that bill. That might be less expensive than a lawyer.

Hope some of this helps
 
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