Help?

[anonymous]

Hey...i live in Australia near sydney and my friend has cystic fibrosis..we're in 8th grade at an all girls school

She keeps it a secret from everyone, even her closest friends and the only reason i found out is because another friend of ours accidently told me. She hasnt been at school for over a month and everyone's worrying about her and asking questions etc and it's really hard to cope with it all.

So... just a few things...

1) i was wondering why she would want to keep something like CF a secret, it's nothing to be ashamed of as it just proves that she is one of the strongest girls i know!!

2) how should i go about talking to her about it? i know she hates discussing it and things and always changes the subject and i thought it would help to have someone who understands a bit better than i do to help me out

3) to anybody here keeping CF a secret, DONT!!! You're only hurting yourself and the people close to you by keeping things like this a secret, and you sure as hell shouldn't be embrassassed or ashamed of it!! As i said before, it just shows that you're a fighter and you should know that people around you wont push you away because of it, it can only make friendships closer and more understanding, and with less secrets!!


- Thanks in advance, tay.
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

hello!
how are you? I doing ok atm. if u want to talk you can email me at mr___84@hotmail.com and u can also add me at msn messanger if u have that,
just put cf in the topic so i not del u email. thanks.. /marie w/cf

 

[purpleangel28282]

Everyone has their own reason for not wanting to share the fact that they have CF. For some it's embarrassing or they think people will treat them differently or not like them because of it. Some don't want to share because it's a personal thing...it really just depends. It's WONDERFUL that you are so caring for your friend and are willing to come here and ask for advice on what to do instead of just giving up on your friend...you sound like a true friend. My suggestion would be to sit down and tell her that you don't want to make her uncomfortable by talking to her about her CF, but you really would like to be there for her and know more about it. I would also suggest you explaining to her how strong you think she is...I didn't realize that I was "strong" by having it and dealing with it until someone told me and even then I didn't believe it at first. I hope she opens up to you. Will you keep us posted and let us know how it goes? I wish you and your friend the best...I especially hope she gets better soon.

 

[anonymous]

I agree with the last poster about showing her you are a true friend...she may not have had many of them in the past. As far as why she is hiding it, it could be because her parent's have made her (not actually made her, but by their actions of not sharing her CF with others made her feel as though she should also hide it ...unfortunately!!! I for one will NEVER hide the fact that my daughter has CF. It gives me more reason to raise awareness, AND it is nothing to be ashamed of! She is only 5 and doesn't hide the fact that she takes enzymes, does treatments, etc. I LOVE that about her! I believe that will be the same all her life because that is what we have lived....always be open! Anyway, hope this helps. Just be patient with your friend....she most likely needs someone to tell her that it is ok to be HERSELF...and that is a lovely girl that has CF <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><b>Text</b><img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[InLovingMemorieNichelle]

Hey all i can say is dont push the subject, she may be hurting herself you are right, but she is still young and sooner or later she will want to talk about it, she is still probally still dealing with the fact that she has this disease and is learning how to coap with it. Sooner or later she will want to talk, my friend Nichell would tell me anything i wanted to know. So just be there for her and give her support in whatever she does, that is what she really needs right now.

 

[wuffles]

Hey,

I'm from Australia too, I just moved from Brisbane to Canberra. I went to an all girls' school too <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Most people knew about my CF but not from my own mouth - I only told selected people because I felt like I was treated "differently" whenever someone found out. Some people acted like they were sorry for me, some avoided me, etc. Sometimes you just want to act like a normal teenager and that's probably why she didn't tell you guys!

As for talking about it, keep what I said in mind about just wanting to be normal. If she wants to talk about it, chances are she will. Just be supportive - visit her if she's in hospital, let her know you care when she's sick, things like that. Chances are she'll open up about it a bit more once she sees that you're fully supportive!

Good luck <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

hey its tay again (starter of topic)

I havn't had a chance to talk to her about it yet, she's been away since the start of this term which is about 8 weeks or so, but holidays are coming up so i'll be able to visit her soon.

Her mum is actually really open about it, i do better understand why my friend hides it now, but I guess I just wish she was more open about it, just so we could be there to help her cope with it, thats what friends are for <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I'd never give up on any of my friends, as I treasure them all, especially Jess (friend with CF), that's why I came here because I know that I wouldnt know how it must feel to live with it daily.

Thanks everyone for replying and helping, it really did help and now I know what to do, and thankyou for the wishes for my friend, I'm sure she'll get better soon! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

Thanks,
xXx tay