Hi there! I think that maybe you shouldn't focus on getting into a relationship <span style="font-style: italic;">too young (though I guess that's subjective; I'm only 23), and you should really think about how you tell people about your cf. Also, I'd say the reaction depends on the type of guy you're talking about; if he's a truly good guy there's no reason why he wouldn't be okay with you having cf. <br>I'm currently in a serious relationship (first ever, and we're approaching 2 years), and I told him a few weeks after we began dating. I always anticipated being met with fear or rejection getting into a relationship (as far as revealing my<span style="font-style: italic;"> deep, dark secret of the curse of cf) so I decided to tell him early on to see how he felt. He went home and did his research and was perfectly comfortable with the notion. He is a very sweet and caring type of guy with his priorities straight, which I think contributes to his being understanding.<br>It has helped that I went through my phase of being depressed and hopeless about the disease, and when I met the guy I was feeling increasingly more positive about things; so, as others have suggested, it helps to have a positive outlook so you don't scare they guys off.<br>Good luck with your romantic ventures <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><br><br>-Deirdre-<br><br>"We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us." -Jean Paul Sartre<br><br><br>
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How did you?? (Women)
- Thread starter countrygal9210
- Start date
S
SeeEff
Guest
Hi, countrygal9210 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I get what you're saying about not 'needing' a guy to make me happy. I've never been that way. I know alot of ladies that ARE that way, and ugh! with that drama! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
S
SeeEff
Guest
Hi, countrygal9210 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I get what you're saying about not 'needing' a guy to make me happy. I've never been that way. I know alot of ladies that ARE that way, and ugh! with that drama! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
S
SeeEff
Guest
Hi, countrygal9210 <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I get what you're saying about not 'needing' a guy to make me happy. I've never been that way. I know alot of ladies that ARE that way, and ugh! with that drama! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
<br />
<br />As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
<br />Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
<br />
<br />There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
<br />
<br />And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
<br />
<br />Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />Anywho, as for an answer, I suppose I don't have the perfect one. I'm dealing with the same thing as you.
<br />
<br />As for the wasting time thing, yeah. I get it.
<br />Went on a date with a guy. He starts smoking. I ask him to please refrain. He asks why, I give him a very light & simple version of the situation. He looks at me trying to process, then shrugs and says "I've been smoking a long time. I can do it so the smoke blows away from you.....cool?"
<br />
<br />There's alot of times when you know certain people are not worth your time or energy.
<br />
<br />And I know it's not really part of your question, but people without CF have a hard time with relationships too. I mean, look at all the ads for online dating and reality shows. This kinda stuff is hard.....for everyone.
<br />
<br />Oh, but if you DO find an answer, let me know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I've always told my friends about my CF so that including anyone I wound up dating. In general I would say that you will come across people who will be there for you with your CF and those who will not, friends and boyfriends included. I've had one extremely supportive boyfriend who was there for my every cough, hospital stay, ER visit, etc. He learned how to hook me up to my IV when I was on home IV's, he would fall asleep next to me while I was in the hospital. Then I've also been with a guy who would absolutely want to be there for me but it was a lot for him emotionally, etc. Which doesn't make him a bad boyfriend, some people just can't help that CF is a difficult thing for them to deal with. He eventually learned how to be there for me as best he could.
To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
I've always told my friends about my CF so that including anyone I wound up dating. In general I would say that you will come across people who will be there for you with your CF and those who will not, friends and boyfriends included. I've had one extremely supportive boyfriend who was there for my every cough, hospital stay, ER visit, etc. He learned how to hook me up to my IV when I was on home IV's, he would fall asleep next to me while I was in the hospital. Then I've also been with a guy who would absolutely want to be there for me but it was a lot for him emotionally, etc. Which doesn't make him a bad boyfriend, some people just can't help that CF is a difficult thing for them to deal with. He eventually learned how to be there for me as best he could.
To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
I've always told my friends about my CF so that including anyone I wound up dating. In general I would say that you will come across people who will be there for you with your CF and those who will not, friends and boyfriends included. I've had one extremely supportive boyfriend who was there for my every cough, hospital stay, ER visit, etc. He learned how to hook me up to my IV when I was on home IV's, he would fall asleep next to me while I was in the hospital. Then I've also been with a guy who would absolutely want to be there for me but it was a lot for him emotionally, etc. Which doesn't make him a bad boyfriend, some people just can't help that CF is a difficult thing for them to deal with. He eventually learned how to be there for me as best he could.
<br />
<br />To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
<br />
<br />To make a long story short, there are PLENTY of guys out there who will be loving, caring, and at your every beckoned call with your CF. Just like your friends. And then there will be others who will not be able to. And that's all ok, just make sure you stick with the guy who sleeps by your bedside. Love doesn't discriminate against illness. If he loves you, he'll be there. Good luck, I hope this helped!
dancingsparrow
New member
My Boyfriend of a year has CF and I knew he had it before I met him. I guess he just lucked out that he found a woman that loved him with or without it.
dancingsparrow
New member
My Boyfriend of a year has CF and I knew he had it before I met him. I guess he just lucked out that he found a woman that loved him with or without it.
dancingsparrow
New member
My Boyfriend of a year has CF and I knew he had it before I met him. I guess he just lucked out that he found a woman that loved him with or without it.
<br />
<br />
Hi Kristen, <div><br></div><div> I didn't know I had cf till I was 44.. I did however know that I was pretty sick w/ something !</div><div><br></div><div> I met my ex-husband when I was 20. At that point I was in & out of hospitals many times w/ GI symptoms.. We got serious pretty soon after meeting & he asked me to marry him. We were planning to get married after about 1 yr. together, but I kept getting sick & needed heath coverage. We decided to elope & not tell anyone so we could still have a wedding. That did not work out to well lol I had 3 GI surgeries, then got pregnant (felt surprisingly wonderful during my pregnancy) then had one more surgery after my son was born.. </div><div><br></div><div>I guess what Im trying to say is, be honest, I dont think you have to spill your guts on a first date but certainly before it gets serious. And the other thing is that you can find love. It is out there. There are many good ppl in this world & I happen to be currently married to one of them <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Even though we come w/ a lot of baggage I think we are worth it !! </div><div><br></div><div> Take care <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> jon</div>
Hi Kristen,<br>I didn't know I had cf till I was 44.. I did however know that I was pretty sick w/ something !<br>I met my ex-husband when I was 20. At that point I was in & out of hospitals many times w/ GI symptoms.. We got serious pretty soon after meeting & he asked me to marry him. We were planning to get married after about 1 yr. together, but I kept getting sick & needed heath coverage. We decided to elope & not tell anyone so we could still have a wedding. That did not work out to well lol I had 3 GI surgeries, then got pregnant (felt surprisingly wonderful during my pregnancy) then had one more surgery after my son was born..<br>I guess what Im trying to say is, be honest, I dont think you have to spill your guts on a first date but certainly before it gets serious. And the other thing is that you can find love. It is out there. There are many good ppl in this world & I happen to be currently married to one of them <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Even though we come w/ a lot of baggage I think we are worth it !!<br>Take care <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> jon
Hi Kristen,<br>I didn't know I had cf till I was 44.. I did however know that I was pretty sick w/ something !<br>I met my ex-husband when I was 20. At that point I was in & out of hospitals many times w/ GI symptoms.. We got serious pretty soon after meeting & he asked me to marry him. We were planning to get married after about 1 yr. together, but I kept getting sick & needed heath coverage. We decided to elope & not tell anyone so we could still have a wedding. That did not work out to well lol I had 3 GI surgeries, then got pregnant (felt surprisingly wonderful during my pregnancy) then had one more surgery after my son was born..<br>I guess what Im trying to say is, be honest, I dont think you have to spill your guts on a first date but certainly before it gets serious. And the other thing is that you can find love. It is out there. There are many good ppl in this world & I happen to be currently married to one of them <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Even though we come w/ a lot of baggage I think we are worth it !!<br>Take care <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> jon
In college I told most people right away that came into my life.... carefully of course. It couldn't hid things very well due to my pill taking and HUGE meals at the cafeteria. When I told my husband when we were dating (a few dates into things). He didn't scare away like everyone else.
My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
In college I told most people right away that came into my life.... carefully of course. It couldn't hid things very well due to my pill taking and HUGE meals at the cafeteria. When I told my husband when we were dating (a few dates into things). He didn't scare away like everyone else.
My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
In college I told most people right away that came into my life.... carefully of course. It couldn't hid things very well due to my pill taking and HUGE meals at the cafeteria. When I told my husband when we were dating (a few dates into things). He didn't scare away like everyone else.
<br />
<br />My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
<br />
<br />
<br />My husband turned out to be very interested in the "science" of CF and handles the hospitalizations and surgeries very well. My husband has chronic fatigue/fibro so he understands getting tired easily and the daily aches and pains. We are quite the pair some days.
<br />
fiacono425
New member
Just thought I'd put my 2 cents in.
While I don't have CF, my boyfriend of almost 2 years does. I knew about his CF from the very beginning and I think that's really important because we've certainly faced a lot of obstacles, and difficult times that would have been made worse if they were all surprised on me.
The toughest thing (for me) when we started dating was the lack of knowledge. I had never heard of CF before I met and started dating Dan. So things that were second nature to him and his family were totally foreign to me. I think you need to be sensitive to that and answer questions. Dan lets me ask him, and his doctors anything about his treatment, health, meds, and progress. I also do a lot of reading online about whatever med his on or looking for new at-home treatments I think he should try.
What I think works well in our relationship is the balance we have. While I certainly support him with CF and anything else he faces, he also supports me. I also have chronic medical issues and he cares just as much about how I'm feeling like I do about how he's feeling. I also think that this is important. While CF will be a part it is not the focus of a relationship. You need to be both flexible and considerate to his issues.
Another big thing is flexibility, which is my hardest on going point. I have to constantly remind myself that it will all work out in the end. Right now Dan is on the transplant list and while this has certainly thrown a wrench into our original 5 year plan, its opened my eyes to a possible 10 year plan ;-) But even smaller then that you have to find someone who doesn't care and can adapt if you can't make a flight or don't feel up for the activity you had planned. But same thing for him, if he can't/ doesn't want to go to a planned event then you need to be sensitive to that.
Go with your gut. I mean Dan is my first serious relationship (we meet when I was 21) and I was the same type. Didn't need a guy to make me happy and that's great but when Dan came it really expanded my world into a whole new field I didn't know previously existed. The right guy will come along and want to be a part of your life. Also I don't believe in "too young" You're young which doesn't mean you won't/ can't find the love of your life right now. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, just keep doing what you're doing and at some point you'll find who you're meant too. Hope my words from "the other side" help!
While I don't have CF, my boyfriend of almost 2 years does. I knew about his CF from the very beginning and I think that's really important because we've certainly faced a lot of obstacles, and difficult times that would have been made worse if they were all surprised on me.
The toughest thing (for me) when we started dating was the lack of knowledge. I had never heard of CF before I met and started dating Dan. So things that were second nature to him and his family were totally foreign to me. I think you need to be sensitive to that and answer questions. Dan lets me ask him, and his doctors anything about his treatment, health, meds, and progress. I also do a lot of reading online about whatever med his on or looking for new at-home treatments I think he should try.
What I think works well in our relationship is the balance we have. While I certainly support him with CF and anything else he faces, he also supports me. I also have chronic medical issues and he cares just as much about how I'm feeling like I do about how he's feeling. I also think that this is important. While CF will be a part it is not the focus of a relationship. You need to be both flexible and considerate to his issues.
Another big thing is flexibility, which is my hardest on going point. I have to constantly remind myself that it will all work out in the end. Right now Dan is on the transplant list and while this has certainly thrown a wrench into our original 5 year plan, its opened my eyes to a possible 10 year plan ;-) But even smaller then that you have to find someone who doesn't care and can adapt if you can't make a flight or don't feel up for the activity you had planned. But same thing for him, if he can't/ doesn't want to go to a planned event then you need to be sensitive to that.
Go with your gut. I mean Dan is my first serious relationship (we meet when I was 21) and I was the same type. Didn't need a guy to make me happy and that's great but when Dan came it really expanded my world into a whole new field I didn't know previously existed. The right guy will come along and want to be a part of your life. Also I don't believe in "too young" You're young which doesn't mean you won't/ can't find the love of your life right now. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, just keep doing what you're doing and at some point you'll find who you're meant too. Hope my words from "the other side" help!