Ok first of all, I stated it wasn't all about financial reasons. Second of all, how the hell am I supposed to feel when HE tells ME to leave him??? He does have a job, thank you. I certainly would not have married him if I didn't love him. Maybe I shouldn't have started posting here but I thought maybe there would be someone in my same situation that could relate. I'm done with this.
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How Do I Get Through?
- Thread starter ANonnieMouse
- Start date
AbsintheSorrow
New member
Don't leave because of someone's one response. I think the message you left just came off kind of wrong. I am not offended by you, and I don't think most people are. It's just hard for us to hear about someone being stuck because their spouse is sick when we know we're going to be turning around and doing that exact same thing to people we love as well. Does that make sense, Kristy? <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I am 20 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months too. I have never told him that I thn=ink he should find someone else because I'm dying because He knew I had CF before we started dating. Maybe that's something you can tell your girlfriend. "you know what your involved in" On the other hand you have to understand that it's an insecurity in her, to lose you because she's sick. There maybe nothing you can say to help her to get over it. My boyfriend is in the medical field, which makes it easier to explain things going on with me. I know your young, but I encourage you to get as involved in her life as she lets you. If she lets you, watch her do her therapy of, go to the doctors office with her. That might help her to see that you are comfrotable with her and every aspect of her life.
hi my best friend has cf and she keeps it a secret from everyone it gets frustrating for me because i have to lie for her too- and i dont mind covering for her- i would do anything for her. but i just dont understand why she wont tell people. i mean she lets people smoke around her and stuff - i dont understand. now she is really really sick and its getting harder for me to explain to people where she is and soforht...i hate lying. but yet at the same time i dont want her to be mad at me she means the world to me and i dont know what i would do without her <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">friend w/ cf NC
To Kristy - I'm sorry you feel like you've been attacked and I understand that you were coming here for support and felt like you got condemnation instead. You <b>do</b> deserve support and <b>should</b> be able to air all of your feelings - even those you aren't proud of and that we don't feel like hearing. However, you have to realize that most of the people on this site have cf or have a child with cf. It's very difficult for them to hear your feelings about your husband's illness. I'm sure they all understand that it's not easy what you're going through (including the financial pressures, hiding the cf, and feeling like your husband is a burden.) I understand that it wasn't easy for you to express those feelings and you probably have a certain amount of guilt over having them since you do love your husband. However, it's hard for those with cf to hear because <i>one day it may be one of us in your husband's situation and our spouse/loved one in your position.</i> We do not like to think that we may feel that way about our loved one or that our loved one may feel that way about us do to this illness. My suggestion is for you to find a good support group in your area for people whose loved ones have cf. If you can't find that type of support group, a support group for spouses of people with chronic, debilitating illnesses, may also work. The important thing is to find yourself a support system, preferably, with at least a few people you can meet with in person. HTH. Good luck & prayers.
I am writing this a great friend of a CFer. Don't be saddened when she says things like that. As messed up as it may seem, if she didn't truely love you she wouldn't be saying it. She's trying to put your needs and feelings before her own. You sound like you have that great young love that movies are made about. I think everyone has that at some point, how great to be one of the lucky ones that is making it last. Being young, you don't realize how great things are until they are gone. My amazing young love ended, and it was devastating, but I wouldn't change it for the world. What's that saying, "all good things must come to an end" ? That's why it's so important to live life to the fullest. When I met my CF friend, he was getting out of a long relationship with someone who treated him like a dying man, so that's what his identity became. Look at the big picture, we're all dying. CF is just a faster, more hideous way to do it. When he left her, his perspectives all changed and he started to live again. As a result, he started taking better care of himself, and became healthier. He's found someone who accepts him, and his disease, and he's happy. Fight for what you have because love is worth the time, effort, risk...