How do you deal with family?

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crickit715

New member
wow....sounds so familiar!! had the same issue with some smokers in my family and finally had to "blow a gasket" before they "understood"...its terrible that it comes to that sometimes. i have a really good link to an article on 3rd hand smoke (smoke on clothes, hair, furniture)
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<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/03/health/research/03smoke.html?em">http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01...search/03smoke.html?em</a>
 
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NancyLKF

New member
UGH... familes. Mine is great. They are very careful with Maggie and my sister will tell me if her kids have even the slightest sniffle.
My in-laws though ... it took forever to get them to wash their hands or take off their shoes - not all of them but some of them. And the most recent issue was that we cancelled going to see them at their campground because it was smokey outside from the canadian fires and the air advisory said the air quality was really bad and unhealthy for healthy people. so maggie stayed inside. the response we got when we cancelled and apologized was "uh-huh". I don't think they really believe us and that they think we use CF as an excuse for things. my FIL mowed our lawn in his socks since we make him take off his shoes when he comes inside. He went to get the lawnmower without his shoes on so just continued on outside that way.
Thank God my husband handles these things with them. My MIL has brought Maggie to strangers houses while we were out, has fed her cheese out of the sandwich she was eating and was constantly sticking her fingers in Mag's mouth. But my husband just kept putting his foot down - they listen when he does, and they ignore me. So it has gotten better but we still have moments.
Your husband definately needs to stand up to them and if he won't then I guess it's up to you. We went to therapy for a while after the diagnosis and our therapist told steve flat out that he had to handle his family not me. So that helped.
Good Luck... if you have a patient and family CF education night in your area maybe you can take some of them to that.
 
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NancyLKF

New member
UGH... familes. Mine is great. They are very careful with Maggie and my sister will tell me if her kids have even the slightest sniffle.
My in-laws though ... it took forever to get them to wash their hands or take off their shoes - not all of them but some of them. And the most recent issue was that we cancelled going to see them at their campground because it was smokey outside from the canadian fires and the air advisory said the air quality was really bad and unhealthy for healthy people. so maggie stayed inside. the response we got when we cancelled and apologized was "uh-huh". I don't think they really believe us and that they think we use CF as an excuse for things. my FIL mowed our lawn in his socks since we make him take off his shoes when he comes inside. He went to get the lawnmower without his shoes on so just continued on outside that way.
Thank God my husband handles these things with them. My MIL has brought Maggie to strangers houses while we were out, has fed her cheese out of the sandwich she was eating and was constantly sticking her fingers in Mag's mouth. But my husband just kept putting his foot down - they listen when he does, and they ignore me. So it has gotten better but we still have moments.
Your husband definately needs to stand up to them and if he won't then I guess it's up to you. We went to therapy for a while after the diagnosis and our therapist told steve flat out that he had to handle his family not me. So that helped.
Good Luck... if you have a patient and family CF education night in your area maybe you can take some of them to that.
 
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NancyLKF

New member
UGH... familes. Mine is great. They are very careful with Maggie and my sister will tell me if her kids have even the slightest sniffle.
<br />My in-laws though ... it took forever to get them to wash their hands or take off their shoes - not all of them but some of them. And the most recent issue was that we cancelled going to see them at their campground because it was smokey outside from the canadian fires and the air advisory said the air quality was really bad and unhealthy for healthy people. so maggie stayed inside. the response we got when we cancelled and apologized was "uh-huh". I don't think they really believe us and that they think we use CF as an excuse for things. my FIL mowed our lawn in his socks since we make him take off his shoes when he comes inside. He went to get the lawnmower without his shoes on so just continued on outside that way.
<br />Thank God my husband handles these things with them. My MIL has brought Maggie to strangers houses while we were out, has fed her cheese out of the sandwich she was eating and was constantly sticking her fingers in Mag's mouth. But my husband just kept putting his foot down - they listen when he does, and they ignore me. So it has gotten better but we still have moments.
<br />Your husband definately needs to stand up to them and if he won't then I guess it's up to you. We went to therapy for a while after the diagnosis and our therapist told steve flat out that he had to handle his family not me. So that helped.
<br />Good Luck... if you have a patient and family CF education night in your area maybe you can take some of them to that.
 
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mom2cameron

New member
Very good article crickit715! Im printing this out and passing it out to the family! My sons father smokes outside and we argue about this everyday! I do not smoke and I can smell the smoke on him when he comes inside but says its not harming anything. The doctor even told him that was ok for him to do!(very angry he took his side) Both sides of our family smoke and when we visit anyone we stay outside mainly. We dont visit that much anymore bc of the smoking. I feel like no one in our family is taking this cf thing seriously(my sons father included!) bc Cameron is not that sick but from learning what I have learned hes not going to be so healthy forever. Just this past week his culture results came back with pseudomonas but still no real support!
 
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mom2cameron

New member
Very good article crickit715! Im printing this out and passing it out to the family! My sons father smokes outside and we argue about this everyday! I do not smoke and I can smell the smoke on him when he comes inside but says its not harming anything. The doctor even told him that was ok for him to do!(very angry he took his side) Both sides of our family smoke and when we visit anyone we stay outside mainly. We dont visit that much anymore bc of the smoking. I feel like no one in our family is taking this cf thing seriously(my sons father included!) bc Cameron is not that sick but from learning what I have learned hes not going to be so healthy forever. Just this past week his culture results came back with pseudomonas but still no real support!
 
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mom2cameron

New member
Very good article crickit715! Im printing this out and passing it out to the family! My sons father smokes outside and we argue about this everyday! I do not smoke and I can smell the smoke on him when he comes inside but says its not harming anything. The doctor even told him that was ok for him to do!(very angry he took his side) Both sides of our family smoke and when we visit anyone we stay outside mainly. We dont visit that much anymore bc of the smoking. I feel like no one in our family is taking this cf thing seriously(my sons father included!) bc Cameron is not that sick but from learning what I have learned hes not going to be so healthy forever. Just this past week his culture results came back with pseudomonas but still no real support!
 
C

crickit715

New member
i think its hard sometimes for family (especially those who arent involved with the rigorous daily care of a cf'er) to realize how serious cf is when the child looks so "normal" or "good" or "healthy". (those are the words i always hear) what they dont realize or DONT WANT to realize is that this is a progressive illness...and that any damage to the respiratory system cannot be "undone". just keep hammering at them and dont give in!!!! you know what is most important to your child! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
C

crickit715

New member
i think its hard sometimes for family (especially those who arent involved with the rigorous daily care of a cf'er) to realize how serious cf is when the child looks so "normal" or "good" or "healthy". (those are the words i always hear) what they dont realize or DONT WANT to realize is that this is a progressive illness...and that any damage to the respiratory system cannot be "undone". just keep hammering at them and dont give in!!!! you know what is most important to your child! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
C

crickit715

New member
i think its hard sometimes for family (especially those who arent involved with the rigorous daily care of a cf'er) to realize how serious cf is when the child looks so "normal" or "good" or "healthy". (those are the words i always hear) what they dont realize or DONT WANT to realize is that this is a progressive illness...and that any damage to the respiratory system cannot be "undone". just keep hammering at them and dont give in!!!! you know what is most important to your child! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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mom2caseyafrica

New member
The only people in my Family that smokes is my cousin and he is not even allowed to smoke at my aunts house where we are currently living. Sometimes he does it anyway and I have to let his mom know and she handles that issue. In my husbands family, everybody smokes. I got my husband to quit smoking and he picked up dipping instead, and I make him wash his hands and clean out his mouth before he touches or kisses our daughter. Here is where our biggest issue is.... We now have no money, my family will not allow my husband to live with any of them. And we cant live with any of his family members because they all smoke. I will not put her in harms way and allow her to live around smoke, but how am I supposed to take her somewhere where her daddy is not welcome? If his family could quite smoking we could go live there and that would make life a lot easier.
 
M

mom2caseyafrica

New member
The only people in my Family that smokes is my cousin and he is not even allowed to smoke at my aunts house where we are currently living. Sometimes he does it anyway and I have to let his mom know and she handles that issue. In my husbands family, everybody smokes. I got my husband to quit smoking and he picked up dipping instead, and I make him wash his hands and clean out his mouth before he touches or kisses our daughter. Here is where our biggest issue is.... We now have no money, my family will not allow my husband to live with any of them. And we cant live with any of his family members because they all smoke. I will not put her in harms way and allow her to live around smoke, but how am I supposed to take her somewhere where her daddy is not welcome? If his family could quite smoking we could go live there and that would make life a lot easier.
 
M

mom2caseyafrica

New member
The only people in my Family that smokes is my cousin and he is not even allowed to smoke at my aunts house where we are currently living. Sometimes he does it anyway and I have to let his mom know and she handles that issue. In my husbands family, everybody smokes. I got my husband to quit smoking and he picked up dipping instead, and I make him wash his hands and clean out his mouth before he touches or kisses our daughter. Here is where our biggest issue is.... We now have no money, my family will not allow my husband to live with any of them. And we cant live with any of his family members because they all smoke. I will not put her in harms way and allow her to live around smoke, but how am I supposed to take her somewhere where her daddy is not welcome? If his family could quite smoking we could go live there and that would make life a lot easier.
 
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