How do you feel when SOME ONE else tells others you have CF?

[Kelli]

OK, well where I work (with my husband) we use a temp agency for our employees so we have basically 1 contact person there. She is new, the other lady left not long ago. Well she's knows I've been away from work due to being sick but that was all she knew. Today I e-mailed my husband (from home) and said I was short of breath and I'd be to work a little bit later.

Sooooooooo.............

I go to work and right away this lady calls and is like "Oh, so you ARE at work, (husband) Dave said you were sick this morning." Holy crap, I could have come unglued. (And no I was not sick, I was short of breath, big difference!)

1. I do not know this woman

2. what I do know about her, I don't like (non trustworthy)

3. I never told her of CF, my husband did (as in that was not his place to tell my life story!)

4. that makes me feel VERY vulnerable because that decision was taken away from me, I only tell people I am comfortable with & fully trust (as I've been hurt in the past).

5. she needs to know me and deal with me on a professional level NOT a personal one

6. husband should have never told her anything personal about me, I'm not friends with her, I'm not close to her, I don't trust her, and now she knows something SO personal about me and I didn't have the choice to be the one to tell her, that was taken away from me.

I guess the big thing is it's not like she was caring about me and checking to see if I was ok, it's more like she digs for info. And the worst part, she is SYMPATHETIC. I don't need sympathy!!! I don't want anyone telling me they feel sorry for me (and YES she DID say that).

So has this happened, where someone else told others you have CF without your permission or even knowledge? I was so fuming mad. Yes, I did confront him and told him NEVER to tell her anything personal about me. And yes, I did lose my cool with him and left (I apologized later when I cooled off).

But how do you deal with this? I hate that the decision (aka...power) was taken away from me. I don't know how to confront my husband (as he sees he's done nothing wrong) but my feelings are hurt. I am not open to everyone about CF, it's personal, it's my life, etc.

I feel like I'm going in circles here. I'd appreciate advice on how others deal with this. And I'd also like to (professionally/kindly) tell her that we need to be professional not personal with one another (doesn't help I don't know a thing about her!).

Ok, let me know how you feel.

Thanks!
KELLI
30 f CF

 

[Kelli]

OK, well where I work (with my husband) we use a temp agency for our employees so we have basically 1 contact person there. She is new, the other lady left not long ago. Well she's knows I've been away from work due to being sick but that was all she knew. Today I e-mailed my husband (from home) and said I was short of breath and I'd be to work a little bit later.

Sooooooooo.............

I go to work and right away this lady calls and is like "Oh, so you ARE at work, (husband) Dave said you were sick this morning." Holy crap, I could have come unglued. (And no I was not sick, I was short of breath, big difference!)

1. I do not know this woman

2. what I do know about her, I don't like (non trustworthy)

3. I never told her of CF, my husband did (as in that was not his place to tell my life story!)

4. that makes me feel VERY vulnerable because that decision was taken away from me, I only tell people I am comfortable with & fully trust (as I've been hurt in the past).

5. she needs to know me and deal with me on a professional level NOT a personal one

6. husband should have never told her anything personal about me, I'm not friends with her, I'm not close to her, I don't trust her, and now she knows something SO personal about me and I didn't have the choice to be the one to tell her, that was taken away from me.

I guess the big thing is it's not like she was caring about me and checking to see if I was ok, it's more like she digs for info. And the worst part, she is SYMPATHETIC. I don't need sympathy!!! I don't want anyone telling me they feel sorry for me (and YES she DID say that).

So has this happened, where someone else told others you have CF without your permission or even knowledge? I was so fuming mad. Yes, I did confront him and told him NEVER to tell her anything personal about me. And yes, I did lose my cool with him and left (I apologized later when I cooled off).

But how do you deal with this? I hate that the decision (aka...power) was taken away from me. I don't know how to confront my husband (as he sees he's done nothing wrong) but my feelings are hurt. I am not open to everyone about CF, it's personal, it's my life, etc.

I feel like I'm going in circles here. I'd appreciate advice on how others deal with this. And I'd also like to (professionally/kindly) tell her that we need to be professional not personal with one another (doesn't help I don't know a thing about her!).

Ok, let me know how you feel.

Thanks!
KELLI
30 f CF

 

[Kelli]

OK, well where I work (with my husband) we use a temp agency for our employees so we have basically 1 contact person there. She is new, the other lady left not long ago. Well she's knows I've been away from work due to being sick but that was all she knew. Today I e-mailed my husband (from home) and said I was short of breath and I'd be to work a little bit later.

Sooooooooo.............

I go to work and right away this lady calls and is like "Oh, so you ARE at work, (husband) Dave said you were sick this morning." Holy crap, I could have come unglued. (And no I was not sick, I was short of breath, big difference!)

1. I do not know this woman

2. what I do know about her, I don't like (non trustworthy)

3. I never told her of CF, my husband did (as in that was not his place to tell my life story!)

4. that makes me feel VERY vulnerable because that decision was taken away from me, I only tell people I am comfortable with & fully trust (as I've been hurt in the past).

5. she needs to know me and deal with me on a professional level NOT a personal one

6. husband should have never told her anything personal about me, I'm not friends with her, I'm not close to her, I don't trust her, and now she knows something SO personal about me and I didn't have the choice to be the one to tell her, that was taken away from me.

I guess the big thing is it's not like she was caring about me and checking to see if I was ok, it's more like she digs for info. And the worst part, she is SYMPATHETIC. I don't need sympathy!!! I don't want anyone telling me they feel sorry for me (and YES she DID say that).

So has this happened, where someone else told others you have CF without your permission or even knowledge? I was so fuming mad. Yes, I did confront him and told him NEVER to tell her anything personal about me. And yes, I did lose my cool with him and left (I apologized later when I cooled off).

But how do you deal with this? I hate that the decision (aka...power) was taken away from me. I don't know how to confront my husband (as he sees he's done nothing wrong) but my feelings are hurt. I am not open to everyone about CF, it's personal, it's my life, etc.

I feel like I'm going in circles here. I'd appreciate advice on how others deal with this. And I'd also like to (professionally/kindly) tell her that we need to be professional not personal with one another (doesn't help I don't know a thing about her!).

Ok, let me know how you feel.

Thanks!
KELLI
30 f CF

 

[Kelli]

OK, well where I work (with my husband) we use a temp agency for our employees so we have basically 1 contact person there. She is new, the other lady left not long ago. Well she's knows I've been away from work due to being sick but that was all she knew. Today I e-mailed my husband (from home) and said I was short of breath and I'd be to work a little bit later.

Sooooooooo.............

I go to work and right away this lady calls and is like "Oh, so you ARE at work, (husband) Dave said you were sick this morning." Holy crap, I could have come unglued. (And no I was not sick, I was short of breath, big difference!)

1. I do not know this woman

2. what I do know about her, I don't like (non trustworthy)

3. I never told her of CF, my husband did (as in that was not his place to tell my life story!)

4. that makes me feel VERY vulnerable because that decision was taken away from me, I only tell people I am comfortable with & fully trust (as I've been hurt in the past).

5. she needs to know me and deal with me on a professional level NOT a personal one

6. husband should have never told her anything personal about me, I'm not friends with her, I'm not close to her, I don't trust her, and now she knows something SO personal about me and I didn't have the choice to be the one to tell her, that was taken away from me.

I guess the big thing is it's not like she was caring about me and checking to see if I was ok, it's more like she digs for info. And the worst part, she is SYMPATHETIC. I don't need sympathy!!! I don't want anyone telling me they feel sorry for me (and YES she DID say that).

So has this happened, where someone else told others you have CF without your permission or even knowledge? I was so fuming mad. Yes, I did confront him and told him NEVER to tell her anything personal about me. And yes, I did lose my cool with him and left (I apologized later when I cooled off).

But how do you deal with this? I hate that the decision (aka...power) was taken away from me. I don't know how to confront my husband (as he sees he's done nothing wrong) but my feelings are hurt. I am not open to everyone about CF, it's personal, it's my life, etc.

I feel like I'm going in circles here. I'd appreciate advice on how others deal with this. And I'd also like to (professionally/kindly) tell her that we need to be professional not personal with one another (doesn't help I don't know a thing about her!).

Ok, let me know how you feel.

Thanks!
KELLI
30 f CF

 

[Kelli]

OK, well where I work (with my husband) we use a temp agency for our employees so we have basically 1 contact person there. She is new, the other lady left not long ago. Well she's knows I've been away from work due to being sick but that was all she knew. Today I e-mailed my husband (from home) and said I was short of breath and I'd be to work a little bit later.

Sooooooooo.............

I go to work and right away this lady calls and is like "Oh, so you ARE at work, (husband) Dave said you were sick this morning." Holy crap, I could have come unglued. (And no I was not sick, I was short of breath, big difference!)

1. I do not know this woman

2. what I do know about her, I don't like (non trustworthy)

3. I never told her of CF, my husband did (as in that was not his place to tell my life story!)

4. that makes me feel VERY vulnerable because that decision was taken away from me, I only tell people I am comfortable with & fully trust (as I've been hurt in the past).

5. she needs to know me and deal with me on a professional level NOT a personal one

6. husband should have never told her anything personal about me, I'm not friends with her, I'm not close to her, I don't trust her, and now she knows something SO personal about me and I didn't have the choice to be the one to tell her, that was taken away from me.

I guess the big thing is it's not like she was caring about me and checking to see if I was ok, it's more like she digs for info. And the worst part, she is SYMPATHETIC. I don't need sympathy!!! I don't want anyone telling me they feel sorry for me (and YES she DID say that).

So has this happened, where someone else told others you have CF without your permission or even knowledge? I was so fuming mad. Yes, I did confront him and told him NEVER to tell her anything personal about me. And yes, I did lose my cool with him and left (I apologized later when I cooled off).

But how do you deal with this? I hate that the decision (aka...power) was taken away from me. I don't know how to confront my husband (as he sees he's done nothing wrong) but my feelings are hurt. I am not open to everyone about CF, it's personal, it's my life, etc.

I feel like I'm going in circles here. I'd appreciate advice on how others deal with this. And I'd also like to (professionally/kindly) tell her that we need to be professional not personal with one another (doesn't help I don't know a thing about her!).

Ok, let me know how you feel.

Thanks!
KELLI
30 f CF

 

[Emily65Roses]

I've had it happen. But I never cared. Mike has done it. I think friends have done it over the years. They've told people I don't care for at all. I just don't care, but that's me... I never really seem to care about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I've had it happen. But I never cared. Mike has done it. I think friends have done it over the years. They've told people I don't care for at all. I just don't care, but that's me... I never really seem to care about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I've had it happen. But I never cared. Mike has done it. I think friends have done it over the years. They've told people I don't care for at all. I just don't care, but that's me... I never really seem to care about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I've had it happen. But I never cared. Mike has done it. I think friends have done it over the years. They've told people I don't care for at all. I just don't care, but that's me... I never really seem to care about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I've had it happen. But I never cared. Mike has done it. I think friends have done it over the years. They've told people I don't care for at all. I just don't care, but that's me... I never really seem to care about it.

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi Kelli,

Well, that is a tough call. It's tough because you work with your husband and you work with people who are temporary.

For me personally, I do not mind when others tell people about my CF...it takes the pressure off me. I do like to know when someone tells though, just so I know who knows and who doesn't. Although that's not always possible to know who talks about you behind your back (especially in the workplace). I especially don't mind when it's my partner that tells because I feel she has the same right to tell as I do (because we are in a committed, married relationship and I trust her). But I think your situation is different because it sounds like you've been burned before because of your CF, whereas that has not happened to me.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting others to talk about your personal life. If you do not want the temps knowing anything about your CF or other personal life, then you and your husband should understand that the personal stuff is off limits for conversation. Maybe he was put into a situation where she was asking where you were or if you were sick, and he just responded something like, "Yeah, she's sick." Sometimes you get cornered like that.

It's hard with coworkers too, because I have some coworkers that ask a lot of personal questions of me, whereas others don't ask much at all. There are times when I wish they would question me more of my CF because I feel that they don't understand it enough...and I'm not the type of person to just talk about it openly, I usually wait until I'm asked. I think a good work relationship does involve knowing some of each other's personal lives. I am always interested in knowing what's going on with my coworkers, when they're sick, if they're having a bad day, etc. But again, our working situation is different.

Hope your day is going better now.

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi Kelli,

Well, that is a tough call. It's tough because you work with your husband and you work with people who are temporary.

For me personally, I do not mind when others tell people about my CF...it takes the pressure off me. I do like to know when someone tells though, just so I know who knows and who doesn't. Although that's not always possible to know who talks about you behind your back (especially in the workplace). I especially don't mind when it's my partner that tells because I feel she has the same right to tell as I do (because we are in a committed, married relationship and I trust her). But I think your situation is different because it sounds like you've been burned before because of your CF, whereas that has not happened to me.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting others to talk about your personal life. If you do not want the temps knowing anything about your CF or other personal life, then you and your husband should understand that the personal stuff is off limits for conversation. Maybe he was put into a situation where she was asking where you were or if you were sick, and he just responded something like, "Yeah, she's sick." Sometimes you get cornered like that.

It's hard with coworkers too, because I have some coworkers that ask a lot of personal questions of me, whereas others don't ask much at all. There are times when I wish they would question me more of my CF because I feel that they don't understand it enough...and I'm not the type of person to just talk about it openly, I usually wait until I'm asked. I think a good work relationship does involve knowing some of each other's personal lives. I am always interested in knowing what's going on with my coworkers, when they're sick, if they're having a bad day, etc. But again, our working situation is different.

Hope your day is going better now.

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi Kelli,

Well, that is a tough call. It's tough because you work with your husband and you work with people who are temporary.

For me personally, I do not mind when others tell people about my CF...it takes the pressure off me. I do like to know when someone tells though, just so I know who knows and who doesn't. Although that's not always possible to know who talks about you behind your back (especially in the workplace). I especially don't mind when it's my partner that tells because I feel she has the same right to tell as I do (because we are in a committed, married relationship and I trust her). But I think your situation is different because it sounds like you've been burned before because of your CF, whereas that has not happened to me.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting others to talk about your personal life. If you do not want the temps knowing anything about your CF or other personal life, then you and your husband should understand that the personal stuff is off limits for conversation. Maybe he was put into a situation where she was asking where you were or if you were sick, and he just responded something like, "Yeah, she's sick." Sometimes you get cornered like that.

It's hard with coworkers too, because I have some coworkers that ask a lot of personal questions of me, whereas others don't ask much at all. There are times when I wish they would question me more of my CF because I feel that they don't understand it enough...and I'm not the type of person to just talk about it openly, I usually wait until I'm asked. I think a good work relationship does involve knowing some of each other's personal lives. I am always interested in knowing what's going on with my coworkers, when they're sick, if they're having a bad day, etc. But again, our working situation is different.

Hope your day is going better now.

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi Kelli,

Well, that is a tough call. It's tough because you work with your husband and you work with people who are temporary.

For me personally, I do not mind when others tell people about my CF...it takes the pressure off me. I do like to know when someone tells though, just so I know who knows and who doesn't. Although that's not always possible to know who talks about you behind your back (especially in the workplace). I especially don't mind when it's my partner that tells because I feel she has the same right to tell as I do (because we are in a committed, married relationship and I trust her). But I think your situation is different because it sounds like you've been burned before because of your CF, whereas that has not happened to me.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting others to talk about your personal life. If you do not want the temps knowing anything about your CF or other personal life, then you and your husband should understand that the personal stuff is off limits for conversation. Maybe he was put into a situation where she was asking where you were or if you were sick, and he just responded something like, "Yeah, she's sick." Sometimes you get cornered like that.

It's hard with coworkers too, because I have some coworkers that ask a lot of personal questions of me, whereas others don't ask much at all. There are times when I wish they would question me more of my CF because I feel that they don't understand it enough...and I'm not the type of person to just talk about it openly, I usually wait until I'm asked. I think a good work relationship does involve knowing some of each other's personal lives. I am always interested in knowing what's going on with my coworkers, when they're sick, if they're having a bad day, etc. But again, our working situation is different.

Hope your day is going better now.

 

[rubyroselee]

Hi Kelli,

Well, that is a tough call. It's tough because you work with your husband and you work with people who are temporary.

For me personally, I do not mind when others tell people about my CF...it takes the pressure off me. I do like to know when someone tells though, just so I know who knows and who doesn't. Although that's not always possible to know who talks about you behind your back (especially in the workplace). I especially don't mind when it's my partner that tells because I feel she has the same right to tell as I do (because we are in a committed, married relationship and I trust her). But I think your situation is different because it sounds like you've been burned before because of your CF, whereas that has not happened to me.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting others to talk about your personal life. If you do not want the temps knowing anything about your CF or other personal life, then you and your husband should understand that the personal stuff is off limits for conversation. Maybe he was put into a situation where she was asking where you were or if you were sick, and he just responded something like, "Yeah, she's sick." Sometimes you get cornered like that.

It's hard with coworkers too, because I have some coworkers that ask a lot of personal questions of me, whereas others don't ask much at all. There are times when I wish they would question me more of my CF because I feel that they don't understand it enough...and I'm not the type of person to just talk about it openly, I usually wait until I'm asked. I think a good work relationship does involve knowing some of each other's personal lives. I am always interested in knowing what's going on with my coworkers, when they're sick, if they're having a bad day, etc. But again, our working situation is different.

Hope your day is going better now.

 

[JazzysMom]

The only thing that I completely understand is the type of woman you are referring to. The type that just wants the juicy details to gossip with.

Just come out (should the issue arise again) & say I prefer not to discuss my health/personal affairs with you, but thanks for asking.

THAT BEING SAID...

I never understand why people get so upset when others tell someone. Especially it being your husband. I am like Emily65Roses. I dont care, I take the chance to educate & I am an open book.

I am assuming your husband is aware of YOU wanting to be the one to tell people & if not....you should tell him & even then things happen.

 

[JazzysMom]

The only thing that I completely understand is the type of woman you are referring to. The type that just wants the juicy details to gossip with.

Just come out (should the issue arise again) & say I prefer not to discuss my health/personal affairs with you, but thanks for asking.

THAT BEING SAID...

I never understand why people get so upset when others tell someone. Especially it being your husband. I am like Emily65Roses. I dont care, I take the chance to educate & I am an open book.

I am assuming your husband is aware of YOU wanting to be the one to tell people & if not....you should tell him & even then things happen.

 

[JazzysMom]

The only thing that I completely understand is the type of woman you are referring to. The type that just wants the juicy details to gossip with.

Just come out (should the issue arise again) & say I prefer not to discuss my health/personal affairs with you, but thanks for asking.

THAT BEING SAID...

I never understand why people get so upset when others tell someone. Especially it being your husband. I am like Emily65Roses. I dont care, I take the chance to educate & I am an open book.

I am assuming your husband is aware of YOU wanting to be the one to tell people & if not....you should tell him & even then things happen.

 

[JazzysMom]

The only thing that I completely understand is the type of woman you are referring to. The type that just wants the juicy details to gossip with.

Just come out (should the issue arise again) & say I prefer not to discuss my health/personal affairs with you, but thanks for asking.

THAT BEING SAID...

I never understand why people get so upset when others tell someone. Especially it being your husband. I am like Emily65Roses. I dont care, I take the chance to educate & I am an open book.

I am assuming your husband is aware of YOU wanting to be the one to tell people & if not....you should tell him & even then things happen.

 

[JazzysMom]

The only thing that I completely understand is the type of woman you are referring to. The type that just wants the juicy details to gossip with.

Just come out (should the issue arise again) & say I prefer not to discuss my health/personal affairs with you, but thanks for asking.

THAT BEING SAID...

I never understand why people get so upset when others tell someone. Especially it being your husband. I am like Emily65Roses. I dont care, I take the chance to educate & I am an open book.

I am assuming your husband is aware of YOU wanting to be the one to tell people & if not....you should tell him & even then things happen.