How do you tell your boyfriend's mom that you have CF?

J

JazzysMom

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>lightNlife</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>KrazyKat</b></i>


If the parents don't live together it's not that unusual that they don't know. .</end quote></div>

Did I miss a section? Where did it refer to the parents not living together? IMHO I also think its not right that the Dad & sis know, but not the Mom. If I was her I would wonder what other important info is being kept from me. I realize that the Moms tend to be more over protective, but there is reason for that.......
 
K

katyf13

New member
Mike told my parents the second time he met them (the first time he had dinner with them). They knew anyway because I told them. They have always felt really comfortable with him because he is so open. And they care about him a lot so of course they want to know. I also think that if I'd only told one, the other would be very hurt.
I guess we both have the attitude of "why hide it?" By telling people, we gain all this added support and also raise awareness. I understand your worries in telling someone who cares not only for you, but her son and doens't want him to end up hurt. But in the long run, she'll find out anyway.
 
K

katyf13

New member
Mike told my parents the second time he met them (the first time he had dinner with them). They knew anyway because I told them. They have always felt really comfortable with him because he is so open. And they care about him a lot so of course they want to know. I also think that if I'd only told one, the other would be very hurt.
I guess we both have the attitude of "why hide it?" By telling people, we gain all this added support and also raise awareness. I understand your worries in telling someone who cares not only for you, but her son and doens't want him to end up hurt. But in the long run, she'll find out anyway.
 
K

katyf13

New member
Mike told my parents the second time he met them (the first time he had dinner with them). They knew anyway because I told them. They have always felt really comfortable with him because he is so open. And they care about him a lot so of course they want to know. I also think that if I'd only told one, the other would be very hurt.
I guess we both have the attitude of "why hide it?" By telling people, we gain all this added support and also raise awareness. I understand your worries in telling someone who cares not only for you, but her son and doens't want him to end up hurt. But in the long run, she'll find out anyway.
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I don't understand either. I can understand wanting to keep some things private, but 2 years later and the fact that the sister and father knows but not the mother????? Is there a good reason to keep this from her?
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I don't understand either. I can understand wanting to keep some things private, but 2 years later and the fact that the sister and father knows but not the mother????? Is there a good reason to keep this from her?
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I don't understand either. I can understand wanting to keep some things private, but 2 years later and the fact that the sister and father knows but not the mother????? Is there a good reason to keep this from her?
 
D

dbtoo

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>KrazyKat</b></i>

You absolutely MUST tell her and soon...or your boyfriend must tell her. </end quote></div>


That may depend on how controling his mother is, and how much influence and pressure she can put on him. The boyfriend must keep things from the mother for reasons, I bet this isn't the first thing she hasn't been told!

If he feels it's time she knows, then he needs to be the one to tell her, that shouldn't fall to you. It could go something like 'Mom, you know that wonderful, beautiful, young woman I've been seeing... '
 
D

dbtoo

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>KrazyKat</b></i>

You absolutely MUST tell her and soon...or your boyfriend must tell her. </end quote></div>


That may depend on how controling his mother is, and how much influence and pressure she can put on him. The boyfriend must keep things from the mother for reasons, I bet this isn't the first thing she hasn't been told!

If he feels it's time she knows, then he needs to be the one to tell her, that shouldn't fall to you. It could go something like 'Mom, you know that wonderful, beautiful, young woman I've been seeing... '
 
D

dbtoo

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>KrazyKat</b></i>

You absolutely MUST tell her and soon...or your boyfriend must tell her. </end quote></div>


That may depend on how controling his mother is, and how much influence and pressure she can put on him. The boyfriend must keep things from the mother for reasons, I bet this isn't the first thing she hasn't been told!

If he feels it's time she knows, then he needs to be the one to tell her, that shouldn't fall to you. It could go something like 'Mom, you know that wonderful, beautiful, young woman I've been seeing... '
 
D

Diane

New member
The way i handled it with boyfriends parents is .... i would bring it up in conversation at the right time. Like if they were talking about a restaurant or club or something of that nature i would casually mention that i cant go there because of smoke and then go from there. I dont like the idea of telling someone so formally as to say...." i have something to tell you" because then it seems like you are about to discuss a terrible situation. I always chose to somehow work it into casual conversation when the perfect opportunity comes up. Now after 2 years, the only thing i would do if i were you is somehow mention it in conversation somewhere as casually as you can and tell her you thought she knew.... so she wont feel like she was intentionally left out.
 
D

Diane

New member
The way i handled it with boyfriends parents is .... i would bring it up in conversation at the right time. Like if they were talking about a restaurant or club or something of that nature i would casually mention that i cant go there because of smoke and then go from there. I dont like the idea of telling someone so formally as to say...." i have something to tell you" because then it seems like you are about to discuss a terrible situation. I always chose to somehow work it into casual conversation when the perfect opportunity comes up. Now after 2 years, the only thing i would do if i were you is somehow mention it in conversation somewhere as casually as you can and tell her you thought she knew.... so she wont feel like she was intentionally left out.
 
D

Diane

New member
The way i handled it with boyfriends parents is .... i would bring it up in conversation at the right time. Like if they were talking about a restaurant or club or something of that nature i would casually mention that i cant go there because of smoke and then go from there. I dont like the idea of telling someone so formally as to say...." i have something to tell you" because then it seems like you are about to discuss a terrible situation. I always chose to somehow work it into casual conversation when the perfect opportunity comes up. Now after 2 years, the only thing i would do if i were you is somehow mention it in conversation somewhere as casually as you can and tell her you thought she knew.... so she wont feel like she was intentionally left out.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I didn't realize there would be so many different but valuable opinions lol!

To be clear: his parents DO live together. I don't understand either why my boyfriend and or his dad and or his sister haven't let the mom know what's going on either. But I think my first step should be to talk to my boyf about this issue that's been "on my mind" before we go visit the parents in May! Perhaps this IS his territory to deal with.

I agree that mom should be let in on the issue, but yes, it shouldn't be a huuuuuge deal and a "I have something to tell you" conversation.

I like the idea of "I thought you knew! Oh, you didn't? Well, I have something called cystic fibrosis...." segway.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I didn't realize there would be so many different but valuable opinions lol!

To be clear: his parents DO live together. I don't understand either why my boyfriend and or his dad and or his sister haven't let the mom know what's going on either. But I think my first step should be to talk to my boyf about this issue that's been "on my mind" before we go visit the parents in May! Perhaps this IS his territory to deal with.

I agree that mom should be let in on the issue, but yes, it shouldn't be a huuuuuge deal and a "I have something to tell you" conversation.

I like the idea of "I thought you knew! Oh, you didn't? Well, I have something called cystic fibrosis...." segway.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I didn't realize there would be so many different but valuable opinions lol!

To be clear: his parents DO live together. I don't understand either why my boyfriend and or his dad and or his sister haven't let the mom know what's going on either. But I think my first step should be to talk to my boyf about this issue that's been "on my mind" before we go visit the parents in May! Perhaps this IS his territory to deal with.

I agree that mom should be let in on the issue, but yes, it shouldn't be a huuuuuge deal and a "I have something to tell you" conversation.

I like the idea of "I thought you knew! Oh, you didn't? Well, I have something called cystic fibrosis...." segway.
 
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