My hormones were pretty in check while pregnant. I don't remember any significant meltdowns that I can think of. But after birth - LOOK OUT! I had about a week of baby blues and I cried daily after about 5 PM. I was FINE during the day but I knew once the clock struck 5 that I'd be a complete mess. DH would just look at my and try to be supportive but he had no idea what I was upset about and really I didn't either. I came home the day after Logan was born and that night there was an episode of ER on that was from the perspective of a woman who just had a stroke - she was conscious but couldn't move of communicate. I was bawling like 5 minutes into it and had to turn it off. I couldn't watch it at all - I couldn't get it into my head that it wasn't real.
All the doubts and worries are totally normal. I mildly freaked out after i got my BFP even though this pregnant was totally planned and wanted. I have no idea how I'm going to handle 2 kids and they won't even be close in age - 3.5 years apart! I vividly remember being about 5 or 6 months pregnant w/ Logan, sitting in my recliner watching TV one night while Josh was at work thinking to myself "what have I done". And we tried for 4 months to get pregnant with him so it wasn't like it was an accidental pregnancy. But I will say that I never felt attached to him when he was inside me. I didn't feel the overwhelming love for him till he was about 2 or 3 days old. I was very protective and everything but that "OMG I love this guy more than anything in the whole wide world" didn't happen for a few days. I hope I don't have the "detached" feelings with this one again but I'm sure it is likely to be the same.
I also worry about not loving #2 as much as I love #1. Everyone says that is a normal worry and you will always love #2 the same but I still worry.
Anyway, I hear ya! I agree w/ Bonnie - just read as much as you can. Get some books on breastfeeding like "The breastfeeding Book" by the sears family, "The womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by La Leche League, and "So thats what they're for'. I can't think of any others at the moment. Also you can read some books about pregnancy and birth. I don't like the "what to expect" series because it is basically a bunch of scary "what ifs". I know you went through all this with your partner already but it is different when it is happening to you and the more you know the less scared you will become. Some good books are "the pregnancy book" and "the birth book" by Dr. Sears and "The thinking woman's guide to a better birth" by Henci Goer. But at least you have someone w/ you has BTDT so she should know exactly what you're going through. That has to be better than a man who has no clue and thinks you've just gone crazy.
