Hi Everyone,
My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. When we started dating, I told him I wanted kids one day for sure. This is something I have known about myself for a very long time. I was adopted when I was 6. Unfortunately, I was adopted into another very bad situation. Obviously, I developed many insecure issues, and emotional problems. It has taken years, and alot of work, but I feel as though I have finally made it. Through all this, though, I've known I want my own family someday. Then in considering my CF, I feel that I would like to be a young mother too. I don't want to start at 35 and then be too tired to drive my 12 yr old to practice. My husband and I talked a long time ago about children, and he wanted them too. He comes from a family of 8, and I of 9. We decided that we would choose to adopt, for many reasons that I will not go into now.
Now, for some reason, he's telling me that he's scared that we will bring this baby home, I will die from CF complications and he'll be raising a little child all alone. I think it's normal for him to feel this way, but you have to be logical too. There is absolutely no reason for me to think that I will die anytime soon. I have virtually no digestive problems, my PFT's are a steady 90+, and I respond well to treatment. I have IV treatment about every year, but I haven't had a hospital stay in 6 years! Yes, I know there is reason to believe my life will be cut shorter that typical, but I have always been stable, and I am very compliant.
It's so hard, because I feel for my husband, and I understand. But we shouldn't live our lives like this. I don't know what to do, because the desire to raise a family is so strong. I have always known that it would be part of my life, and I can't just write it off. How can I help him to not be so scared?
Anonymous
My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. When we started dating, I told him I wanted kids one day for sure. This is something I have known about myself for a very long time. I was adopted when I was 6. Unfortunately, I was adopted into another very bad situation. Obviously, I developed many insecure issues, and emotional problems. It has taken years, and alot of work, but I feel as though I have finally made it. Through all this, though, I've known I want my own family someday. Then in considering my CF, I feel that I would like to be a young mother too. I don't want to start at 35 and then be too tired to drive my 12 yr old to practice. My husband and I talked a long time ago about children, and he wanted them too. He comes from a family of 8, and I of 9. We decided that we would choose to adopt, for many reasons that I will not go into now.
Now, for some reason, he's telling me that he's scared that we will bring this baby home, I will die from CF complications and he'll be raising a little child all alone. I think it's normal for him to feel this way, but you have to be logical too. There is absolutely no reason for me to think that I will die anytime soon. I have virtually no digestive problems, my PFT's are a steady 90+, and I respond well to treatment. I have IV treatment about every year, but I haven't had a hospital stay in 6 years! Yes, I know there is reason to believe my life will be cut shorter that typical, but I have always been stable, and I am very compliant.
It's so hard, because I feel for my husband, and I understand. But we shouldn't live our lives like this. I don't know what to do, because the desire to raise a family is so strong. I have always known that it would be part of my life, and I can't just write it off. How can I help him to not be so scared?
Anonymous