on another msg board a few years back the same question was posed, so I will include the question...and my reply....
(The question)
I thought it was an interesting SINGLE-sided viewpoint
and maybe this board would like a chance to
flesh it out a bit and discuss it...
"I think people need to see the pain as well as the courage... too often
people with a disease get labeled as 'heroic' when, in fact, they're not.
A hero faces frightening things voluntarily for the sake of a high cause.
People like me just face these things because we have to. Given the choice,
we'd run like rabbits from it. There's a measure of courage, I suppose, in
facing them voluntarily or not. But on days like I had this weekend,
where I'm yelling at my kids and being grumpy to my wife and generally
feeling sorry for myself, I don't feel the least bit heroic or courageous.
And that, too, needs to be understood by people who deal with people
with this (or any) disease. "
(MY answer)
People don't see the pain, because we never show it. From the beginning it's embedded in your head that you have to be strong. You can't cry and you have to be brave. Needle after needle procedure after procedure it's not long before the exterior is toughened up and pretty much rock solid.
Sometimes you build a wall around yourself so solid that no one ever sees the good side of you. Because you'd rather get in first and hurt someone before they have the chance to hurt you....
You'd rather have them think that you're so untouchable, that no matter what they do there is no way they can ever break your spirits.
Sometimes you let down that wall and people meet the real you, and often they are quite amaze by what they find.
People only ever see what we let them see. They never see you in your own settings. When you fall apart and can't hold the charade any longer.
Once you discard your brave face and once again become human people would see how frightened and all alone we sometimes feel. But often we feel we have to do it alone so people don't think we are as pathetic as we often see ourselves.
No one like a person who supposably sounds like they are wallowing in self-pity at the slightest mention of just being fed up.
We give society what society expect, therefore shielding the world from knowing the real US.
None of us are real heroes to ourselves, we just go through the motions to survive a life that we don't often want or care for.
But if you were to sit on the sidelines and see what everyone else sees then you'd probably be proud of yourself as well.
(growls I can get any damn spaces in any of my messages.....oh well I just look illiterate, lol)
