Her name is Michelle.
She's my best friend...
We've been together since Kindergarten, we live two minutes away from each other, I'm always taking her to Houston for her doctor appointments or riding with her and her mom. When I'm upset, she's the first person I run too. She's always there for me even through my stupidest decisions. We've preformed in duets together in grade school and high school. We've won trophies for most creative duck tape boat. We have million os retarded selfies, from before the word selfie was even created. She's beautiful, strong, and inspiring. We're 18 and 19 now. She was diagnosed with Diabetes in Middle School then yeaaars later with CF. Her lung function is at 28. Or thats what her test says. I don't quite understand them. We've got her set up for a double lung transplant soon. I just want to protect her. It scares me so much that it could go wrong, I try my hardest not to show it. I tell her its a fresh start but all she thinks is its a new trek to screw up another set of lungs.
I've spent my nights holding her while she was crying because her chest hurt and I've made her cry with my 65 Roses tattoo I got in her honor. I've spent my nights making her laugh with oxygen masks on in the emergency rooms, talking about how she hopes one day to have babies and a family, and letting her make me laugh with the silly sheep noises she makes when she does her vest treatments. We've talked about the darker side of things and how she just wants to fall asleep and never wake up or how she doesnt think she'll ever find a guy that would put up with her illness. She feels so alone sometimes. They dont make fat camps for CF people, she cant join a community of CF people like other illnesses do because they would all get sick. Technlgy can only confort her so much. I just want her to be happy.
I don't want her to give up. She gets so down in the dumps about her illness and I've always made a point to never take it personally when she lashes out. She has every right to be upset and sad or mad at the world. But sometimes I can't handle it so I just walk away from her for a little bit. This last time I did, she apologized for being that way and I told her there are people with terminal cancer and 3 months to live that are happier than she is. I told her that she has every right to be upset and mad but she has NO right to be unhappy. I, in no way ever, wish to belittle her sickness. EVER. But I wish she would smile. And I know its hard for her. I probably sound bias because I don't fight just to keep my breath every day. I wish she would enjoy herself. I want to take her out and do things with her so she can experience life. I read an article the other day, a man died of CF at 22 in our area.
I know chronically ill people withdraw and become depressed or isolated. Can anyone tell me how I can help prevent this?
I try my best to be there 100% and I'm following through with her to the very end. But I need new ways to make her smile.
She's my best friend...
We've been together since Kindergarten, we live two minutes away from each other, I'm always taking her to Houston for her doctor appointments or riding with her and her mom. When I'm upset, she's the first person I run too. She's always there for me even through my stupidest decisions. We've preformed in duets together in grade school and high school. We've won trophies for most creative duck tape boat. We have million os retarded selfies, from before the word selfie was even created. She's beautiful, strong, and inspiring. We're 18 and 19 now. She was diagnosed with Diabetes in Middle School then yeaaars later with CF. Her lung function is at 28. Or thats what her test says. I don't quite understand them. We've got her set up for a double lung transplant soon. I just want to protect her. It scares me so much that it could go wrong, I try my hardest not to show it. I tell her its a fresh start but all she thinks is its a new trek to screw up another set of lungs.
I've spent my nights holding her while she was crying because her chest hurt and I've made her cry with my 65 Roses tattoo I got in her honor. I've spent my nights making her laugh with oxygen masks on in the emergency rooms, talking about how she hopes one day to have babies and a family, and letting her make me laugh with the silly sheep noises she makes when she does her vest treatments. We've talked about the darker side of things and how she just wants to fall asleep and never wake up or how she doesnt think she'll ever find a guy that would put up with her illness. She feels so alone sometimes. They dont make fat camps for CF people, she cant join a community of CF people like other illnesses do because they would all get sick. Technlgy can only confort her so much. I just want her to be happy.
I don't want her to give up. She gets so down in the dumps about her illness and I've always made a point to never take it personally when she lashes out. She has every right to be upset and sad or mad at the world. But sometimes I can't handle it so I just walk away from her for a little bit. This last time I did, she apologized for being that way and I told her there are people with terminal cancer and 3 months to live that are happier than she is. I told her that she has every right to be upset and mad but she has NO right to be unhappy. I, in no way ever, wish to belittle her sickness. EVER. But I wish she would smile. And I know its hard for her. I probably sound bias because I don't fight just to keep my breath every day. I wish she would enjoy herself. I want to take her out and do things with her so she can experience life. I read an article the other day, a man died of CF at 22 in our area.
I know chronically ill people withdraw and become depressed or isolated. Can anyone tell me how I can help prevent this?
I try my best to be there 100% and I'm following through with her to the very end. But I need new ways to make her smile.
