I have a relationship question

[annonnymous]

I have been dating a wonderfully interesting woman for the past two weeks. Last night - she told me she has cystic fibrosis - I have heard of this disease - but have never known any of the details until I started looking at websites today.

She is 33, and has had a successful lung transplant.

What issues should I be aware of, in dating a person with cf? I am completely ignorant about this disease.

Any comments will be helpful.

 

[Mockingbird]

Well, everyone is affected by CF differently, so the only way to know really is to just talk to her... If you have any specific questions, though, we might be able to help better...

 

[ej0820]

when I told my bf I had cf, he never ever stopped asking questions about it. I couldn't have appreciated that more. Because cf is so different in everyone, you should just sit down and just chat with this woman. Or, ask a question when it comes to your mind. In order to get a general idea on how cf works, look on cff.org...aside from that, direct your questions to her b/c the way our bodies individually handle cf is not found on a website or in a book. I told my bf that if he looks stuff up to keep in mind what he reads is not specifically about me. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to educate you...in my opinion, the more questions asked, the less pressure there is of misunderstanding.

 

[HairGirl]

The biggest thing for me was, I didn't want my boyfriend(at the time) to treat me differently, like special or that I couldn't do something. So take her health into consideration ask her now what her limits are, don't just assume that she can't do things. CF'ers are the Best!(or so my husband tells me) <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[julie]

My husbands biggest thing, as HairGirl said is that he just wants to be treated normally. Most people who know him don't even know about his CF, just CLOSE friends and of course family.

Everyon's CF is different, some have lung involvement (sounds like she did with the lung transplant) some have digestive problems which goes hand in hand with trouble gaining weight and spending a lot of time the bathroom.

I know you say you are new to Cf and completely ignorant. Most of us that are friend or signifigant others of CFers started out this way so don't feel alone. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I didn't have much internet access when I started dating my hubbie (I was only 16) so I did some reading in books at the library and did search around online when I had the opportunity. It's mind boggling to read all that stuff out there, and some of it is really inaccurate. Unfortunately I didnt find this site until just a few years ago and it's been a great resource, but I spent a few years kind of freaking out after reading the worst case scenarios. The nice thing in your case is you've already found us on here, so any research you do, feel free to bounce the questions off any/all of us here.

Welcome to the site and major props for coming here to get more information. Hope you find answers here, and feel free to ask any specific questions you migth have.

 

[Sarahjane]

Hi

I have never been able to let anyone get close to me, when I have told them I have cf they run. I am 28 and seem to be on a constant guilt trip about relationships.

I so wish one day I might meet someone who can see through the cf and see me for who I am.

 

[anonymous]

hi sarah jane
i can relate to ur problem. i find it very hard to let any get close to me for that same reason. but there is only one person in te world that is very close to me and by my side when the going gets tough, this is me best mate who says she dont care about de cf. people that run away because u have cf are not worth the time or space, and i wont worry about it, just be yourself. as i tell people i dont have cf but cf has me.
chin up hun
brenco