I lost my friends

Tcole · Dec 10, 2008

My life is sitting in the hospital and wait. I feel helpless right now. My heart hurt so bad when i walk in to the hospital. I hold back tears. I want to throw a temper tantrum. That would look silly. LOL! My friends have stopped calling or not returning calls. When i do talk to them their eyes seem to glaze over like I am talking a language they dont understand. Sometimes i wish they would ask how i am. Or go get lunch. I have lost myself. I wear sweats everyday. Pull my hair in a pony. I don't shower some days. I just want to raise the "white flag" and surrender. I am torn. I have my 2 other children at home and miss them so much. We have been working hard at schooling and don't want them to get behind since its been crazy at home.

Grayson is the stongest lil girl ever. Smiles at every person even after they poke and stick her with needles.

OK, i feel a little better getting some of this off my chest. I could probably keeping going but i want to get back with my lil one.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, im sure my mom will read this and reply. LOL

Tcole · Dec 10, 2008

My life is sitting in the hospital and wait. I feel helpless right now. My heart hurt so bad when i walk in to the hospital. I hold back tears. I want to throw a temper tantrum. That would look silly. LOL! My friends have stopped calling or not returning calls. When i do talk to them their eyes seem to glaze over like I am talking a language they dont understand. Sometimes i wish they would ask how i am. Or go get lunch. I have lost myself. I wear sweats everyday. Pull my hair in a pony. I don't shower some days. I just want to raise the "white flag" and surrender. I am torn. I have my 2 other children at home and miss them so much. We have been working hard at schooling and don't want them to get behind since its been crazy at home.

Grayson is the stongest lil girl ever. Smiles at every person even after they poke and stick her with needles.

OK, i feel a little better getting some of this off my chest. I could probably keeping going but i want to get back with my lil one.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, im sure my mom will read this and reply. LOL

Tcole · Dec 10, 2008

My life is sitting in the hospital and wait. I feel helpless right now. My heart hurt so bad when i walk in to the hospital. I hold back tears. I want to throw a temper tantrum. That would look silly. LOL! My friends have stopped calling or not returning calls. When i do talk to them their eyes seem to glaze over like I am talking a language they dont understand. Sometimes i wish they would ask how i am. Or go get lunch. I have lost myself. I wear sweats everyday. Pull my hair in a pony. I don't shower some days. I just want to raise the "white flag" and surrender. I am torn. I have my 2 other children at home and miss them so much. We have been working hard at schooling and don't want them to get behind since its been crazy at home.

Grayson is the stongest lil girl ever. Smiles at every person even after they poke and stick her with needles.

OK, i feel a little better getting some of this off my chest. I could probably keeping going but i want to get back with my lil one.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, im sure my mom will read this and reply. LOL

Tcole · Dec 10, 2008

My life is sitting in the hospital and wait. I feel helpless right now. My heart hurt so bad when i walk in to the hospital. I hold back tears. I want to throw a temper tantrum. That would look silly. LOL! My friends have stopped calling or not returning calls. When i do talk to them their eyes seem to glaze over like I am talking a language they dont understand. Sometimes i wish they would ask how i am. Or go get lunch. I have lost myself. I wear sweats everyday. Pull my hair in a pony. I don't shower some days. I just want to raise the "white flag" and surrender. I am torn. I have my 2 other children at home and miss them so much. We have been working hard at schooling and don't want them to get behind since its been crazy at home.

Grayson is the stongest lil girl ever. Smiles at every person even after they poke and stick her with needles.

OK, i feel a little better getting some of this off my chest. I could probably keeping going but i want to get back with my lil one.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, im sure my mom will read this and reply. LOL

Tcole · Dec 10, 2008

My life is sitting in the hospital and wait. I feel helpless right now. My heart hurt so bad when i walk in to the hospital. I hold back tears. I want to throw a temper tantrum. That would look silly. LOL! My friends have stopped calling or not returning calls. When i do talk to them their eyes seem to glaze over like I am talking a language they dont understand. Sometimes i wish they would ask how i am. Or go get lunch. I have lost myself. I wear sweats everyday. Pull my hair in a pony. I don't shower some days. I just want to raise the "white flag" and surrender. I am torn. I have my 2 other children at home and miss them so much. We have been working hard at schooling and don't want them to get behind since its been crazy at home.
 
 Grayson is the stongest lil girl ever. Smiles at every person even after they poke and stick her with needles.
 
 OK, i feel a little better getting some of this off my chest. I could probably keeping going but i want to get back with my lil one.
 
 Thanks for listening.
 
 Oh, im sure my mom will read this and reply. LOL

Ratatosk · Dec 10, 2008

Unfortunately, when something like this (CF diagnosis) happens, you find out who your true friends and relatives are. My husband still mentions how hurt he was when we got home from spending 4 weeks at the nicu, ended up right back in the local hospital for another two weeks and his parents were too busy enjoying their lake home an hour away with his brother's family to call or stop by.

On the bright side, I'm constantly amazed at those who do step up to the plate to offer support, snacks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> We have one friend we refer to as our "manny" because he's stepped in to help babysit when DH and I both have had meetings and my inlaws are out of town, which most of the summer and fall.

Hopefully once Grayson gets home, starts progressing, and you get into a routine, things will seem more manageable. Plus you're probably still dealing with those darned pregnancy hormones and the whole CF diagnosis. I'd cry for no reason whatsoever, would worry constantly about DS getting sick again. Plus I was so incredibly exhausted from the 4 cpt treatments a day, plus feedings every 3-4 hours...

Now if I could only find the time to start exercising again to lose all the weight I've gained these past 5 years. Darned whole milk, cream, yummy snacks!

Ratatosk · Dec 10, 2008

Unfortunately, when something like this (CF diagnosis) happens, you find out who your true friends and relatives are. My husband still mentions how hurt he was when we got home from spending 4 weeks at the nicu, ended up right back in the local hospital for another two weeks and his parents were too busy enjoying their lake home an hour away with his brother's family to call or stop by.

On the bright side, I'm constantly amazed at those who do step up to the plate to offer support, snacks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> We have one friend we refer to as our "manny" because he's stepped in to help babysit when DH and I both have had meetings and my inlaws are out of town, which most of the summer and fall.

Hopefully once Grayson gets home, starts progressing, and you get into a routine, things will seem more manageable. Plus you're probably still dealing with those darned pregnancy hormones and the whole CF diagnosis. I'd cry for no reason whatsoever, would worry constantly about DS getting sick again. Plus I was so incredibly exhausted from the 4 cpt treatments a day, plus feedings every 3-4 hours...

Now if I could only find the time to start exercising again to lose all the weight I've gained these past 5 years. Darned whole milk, cream, yummy snacks!

Ratatosk · Dec 10, 2008

Unfortunately, when something like this (CF diagnosis) happens, you find out who your true friends and relatives are. My husband still mentions how hurt he was when we got home from spending 4 weeks at the nicu, ended up right back in the local hospital for another two weeks and his parents were too busy enjoying their lake home an hour away with his brother's family to call or stop by.

On the bright side, I'm constantly amazed at those who do step up to the plate to offer support, snacks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> We have one friend we refer to as our "manny" because he's stepped in to help babysit when DH and I both have had meetings and my inlaws are out of town, which most of the summer and fall.

Hopefully once Grayson gets home, starts progressing, and you get into a routine, things will seem more manageable. Plus you're probably still dealing with those darned pregnancy hormones and the whole CF diagnosis. I'd cry for no reason whatsoever, would worry constantly about DS getting sick again. Plus I was so incredibly exhausted from the 4 cpt treatments a day, plus feedings every 3-4 hours...

Now if I could only find the time to start exercising again to lose all the weight I've gained these past 5 years. Darned whole milk, cream, yummy snacks!

Ratatosk · Dec 10, 2008

Unfortunately, when something like this (CF diagnosis) happens, you find out who your true friends and relatives are. My husband still mentions how hurt he was when we got home from spending 4 weeks at the nicu, ended up right back in the local hospital for another two weeks and his parents were too busy enjoying their lake home an hour away with his brother's family to call or stop by.

On the bright side, I'm constantly amazed at those who do step up to the plate to offer support, snacks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> We have one friend we refer to as our "manny" because he's stepped in to help babysit when DH and I both have had meetings and my inlaws are out of town, which most of the summer and fall.

Hopefully once Grayson gets home, starts progressing, and you get into a routine, things will seem more manageable. Plus you're probably still dealing with those darned pregnancy hormones and the whole CF diagnosis. I'd cry for no reason whatsoever, would worry constantly about DS getting sick again. Plus I was so incredibly exhausted from the 4 cpt treatments a day, plus feedings every 3-4 hours...

Now if I could only find the time to start exercising again to lose all the weight I've gained these past 5 years. Darned whole milk, cream, yummy snacks!

Ratatosk · Dec 10, 2008

Unfortunately, when something like this (CF diagnosis) happens, you find out who your true friends and relatives are. My husband still mentions how hurt he was when we got home from spending 4 weeks at the nicu, ended up right back in the local hospital for another two weeks and his parents were too busy enjoying their lake home an hour away with his brother's family to call or stop by.
 
 On the bright side, I'm constantly amazed at those who do step up to the plate to offer support, snacks <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> We have one friend we refer to as our "manny" because he's stepped in to help babysit when DH and I both have had meetings and my inlaws are out of town, which most of the summer and fall.
 
 Hopefully once Grayson gets home, starts progressing, and you get into a routine, things will seem more manageable. Plus you're probably still dealing with those darned pregnancy hormones and the whole CF diagnosis. I'd cry for no reason whatsoever, would worry constantly about DS getting sick again. Plus I was so incredibly exhausted from the 4 cpt treatments a day, plus feedings every 3-4 hours...
 
 Now if I could only find the time to start exercising again to lose all the weight I've gained these past 5 years. Darned whole milk, cream, yummy snacks!

JORDYSMOM · Dec 10, 2008

I'm sorry. As Liza said, you definitely find out who your true friends are. Most can't handle it, so they ignore it, and hope it goes away. They don't know what to say so they avoid you.

It is so hard to spread yourself between the children at home, and the one in the hospital. I hope that Grayson is home soon so you can all be together. Vent away. It always helps me.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Stacey

PS Your mom is pretty awesome

JORDYSMOM · Dec 10, 2008

I'm sorry. As Liza said, you definitely find out who your true friends are. Most can't handle it, so they ignore it, and hope it goes away. They don't know what to say so they avoid you.

It is so hard to spread yourself between the children at home, and the one in the hospital. I hope that Grayson is home soon so you can all be together. Vent away. It always helps me.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Stacey

PS Your mom is pretty awesome

JORDYSMOM · Dec 10, 2008

I'm sorry. As Liza said, you definitely find out who your true friends are. Most can't handle it, so they ignore it, and hope it goes away. They don't know what to say so they avoid you.

It is so hard to spread yourself between the children at home, and the one in the hospital. I hope that Grayson is home soon so you can all be together. Vent away. It always helps me.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Stacey

PS Your mom is pretty awesome

JORDYSMOM · Dec 10, 2008

I'm sorry. As Liza said, you definitely find out who your true friends are. Most can't handle it, so they ignore it, and hope it goes away. They don't know what to say so they avoid you.

It is so hard to spread yourself between the children at home, and the one in the hospital. I hope that Grayson is home soon so you can all be together. Vent away. It always helps me.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Stacey

PS Your mom is pretty awesome

JORDYSMOM · Dec 10, 2008

I'm sorry. As Liza said, you definitely find out who your true friends are. Most can't handle it, so they ignore it, and hope it goes away. They don't know what to say so they avoid you.
 
 It is so hard to spread yourself between the children at home, and the one in the hospital. I hope that Grayson is home soon so you can all be together. Vent away. It always helps me.
 
 (((((((((((hugs))))))))))
 
 Stacey
 
 PS Your mom is pretty awesome

Prussian · Dec 10, 2008