In laws upset about peg tube

G

grantsmom

Guest
Grant is scheduled on Monday for his pegtube and bronchoscopy. We have known for some time that this was probably going to happen. I feel like we have tried everything we possibly could and he is just not gaining weight.

Well, my in laws think we should wait on this until he is two or three, they think we are "rushing things" I have tried explaining the importance of this and how it could be a really great thing for him. Obviously I'm nervous and upset myself that he will be going through all this but thankful he will finally gain weight.

They have been in complete denial about this since Grant was diagnosed and I think this is making it real to them. I've just been really stressed out and they are making it worse. Has anyone been in this situation? Need some advice please
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Grant is scheduled on Monday for his pegtube and bronchoscopy. We have known for some time that this was probably going to happen. I feel like we have tried everything we possibly could and he is just not gaining weight.

Well, my in laws think we should wait on this until he is two or three, they think we are "rushing things" I have tried explaining the importance of this and how it could be a really great thing for him. Obviously I'm nervous and upset myself that he will be going through all this but thankful he will finally gain weight.

They have been in complete denial about this since Grant was diagnosed and I think this is making it real to them. I've just been really stressed out and they are making it worse. Has anyone been in this situation? Need some advice please
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Grant is scheduled on Monday for his pegtube and bronchoscopy. We have known for some time that this was probably going to happen. I feel like we have tried everything we possibly could and he is just not gaining weight.

Well, my in laws think we should wait on this until he is two or three, they think we are "rushing things" I have tried explaining the importance of this and how it could be a really great thing for him. Obviously I'm nervous and upset myself that he will be going through all this but thankful he will finally gain weight.

They have been in complete denial about this since Grant was diagnosed and I think this is making it real to them. I've just been really stressed out and they are making it worse. Has anyone been in this situation? Need some advice please
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Grant is scheduled on Monday for his pegtube and bronchoscopy. We have known for some time that this was probably going to happen. I feel like we have tried everything we possibly could and he is just not gaining weight.

Well, my in laws think we should wait on this until he is two or three, they think we are "rushing things" I have tried explaining the importance of this and how it could be a really great thing for him. Obviously I'm nervous and upset myself that he will be going through all this but thankful he will finally gain weight.

They have been in complete denial about this since Grant was diagnosed and I think this is making it real to them. I've just been really stressed out and they are making it worse. Has anyone been in this situation? Need some advice please
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Grant is scheduled on Monday for his pegtube and bronchoscopy. We have known for some time that this was probably going to happen. I feel like we have tried everything we possibly could and he is just not gaining weight.
<br />
<br />Well, my in laws think we should wait on this until he is two or three, they think we are "rushing things" I have tried explaining the importance of this and how it could be a really great thing for him. Obviously I'm nervous and upset myself that he will be going through all this but thankful he will finally gain weight.
<br />
<br />They have been in complete denial about this since Grant was diagnosed and I think this is making it real to them. I've just been really stressed out and they are making it worse. Has anyone been in this situation? Need some advice please
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
My mother-in-law and a LOT of people in my life were like that as well. But the bottomline is your in-laws don't get a vote. His doctors and his parents made a decision in his best interest, using the best medical information you have available to you.

I'm so sorry -- I know its hard. For me, everytime someone questionned my decision, it made me question it too. Finally I just had to tell them that it was making it worse -- that we would have done anything to avoid getting the tube but that we are putting our faith and trust in our knowledge and our doctors and that we are not going to change our mind based on their opinion anymore. After that everyone backed off.

I promise it gets easier. The decision is impossible and the first few weeks post surgery you may second guess yourself, but hang tight -- you will see the big picture soon enough and you will be so thrilled as Grant grows and thrives because of your strong and difficult decision. ((((HUGS))))
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
My mother-in-law and a LOT of people in my life were like that as well. But the bottomline is your in-laws don't get a vote. His doctors and his parents made a decision in his best interest, using the best medical information you have available to you.

I'm so sorry -- I know its hard. For me, everytime someone questionned my decision, it made me question it too. Finally I just had to tell them that it was making it worse -- that we would have done anything to avoid getting the tube but that we are putting our faith and trust in our knowledge and our doctors and that we are not going to change our mind based on their opinion anymore. After that everyone backed off.

I promise it gets easier. The decision is impossible and the first few weeks post surgery you may second guess yourself, but hang tight -- you will see the big picture soon enough and you will be so thrilled as Grant grows and thrives because of your strong and difficult decision. ((((HUGS))))
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
My mother-in-law and a LOT of people in my life were like that as well. But the bottomline is your in-laws don't get a vote. His doctors and his parents made a decision in his best interest, using the best medical information you have available to you.

I'm so sorry -- I know its hard. For me, everytime someone questionned my decision, it made me question it too. Finally I just had to tell them that it was making it worse -- that we would have done anything to avoid getting the tube but that we are putting our faith and trust in our knowledge and our doctors and that we are not going to change our mind based on their opinion anymore. After that everyone backed off.

I promise it gets easier. The decision is impossible and the first few weeks post surgery you may second guess yourself, but hang tight -- you will see the big picture soon enough and you will be so thrilled as Grant grows and thrives because of your strong and difficult decision. ((((HUGS))))
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
My mother-in-law and a LOT of people in my life were like that as well. But the bottomline is your in-laws don't get a vote. His doctors and his parents made a decision in his best interest, using the best medical information you have available to you.

I'm so sorry -- I know its hard. For me, everytime someone questionned my decision, it made me question it too. Finally I just had to tell them that it was making it worse -- that we would have done anything to avoid getting the tube but that we are putting our faith and trust in our knowledge and our doctors and that we are not going to change our mind based on their opinion anymore. After that everyone backed off.

I promise it gets easier. The decision is impossible and the first few weeks post surgery you may second guess yourself, but hang tight -- you will see the big picture soon enough and you will be so thrilled as Grant grows and thrives because of your strong and difficult decision. ((((HUGS))))
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
My mother-in-law and a LOT of people in my life were like that as well. But the bottomline is your in-laws don't get a vote. His doctors and his parents made a decision in his best interest, using the best medical information you have available to you.
<br />
<br />I'm so sorry -- I know its hard. For me, everytime someone questionned my decision, it made me question it too. Finally I just had to tell them that it was making it worse -- that we would have done anything to avoid getting the tube but that we are putting our faith and trust in our knowledge and our doctors and that we are not going to change our mind based on their opinion anymore. After that everyone backed off.
<br />
<br />I promise it gets easier. The decision is impossible and the first few weeks post surgery you may second guess yourself, but hang tight -- you will see the big picture soon enough and you will be so thrilled as Grant grows and thrives because of your strong and difficult decision. ((((HUGS))))
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Heather, thanks for your kind words, I was needing that tonight. Your absolutely right- they don't get a vote-thanks again
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Heather, thanks for your kind words, I was needing that tonight. Your absolutely right- they don't get a vote-thanks again
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Heather, thanks for your kind words, I was needing that tonight. Your absolutely right- they don't get a vote-thanks again
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Heather, thanks for your kind words, I was needing that tonight. Your absolutely right- they don't get a vote-thanks again
 
G

grantsmom

Guest
Heather, thanks for your kind words, I was needing that tonight. Your absolutely right- they don't get a vote-thanks again
<br />
 
I

izemmom

New member
I just wanted to echo Heather and tell you that you are doing the right thing. And I, too, can promise you that it will get better. That tube is going to become such a minor thing in a very short time. I know it doesn't feel like now, but it will.

It was absolutely the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I lost so much sleep over it, and cried and cried and talked to EVERYBODY that would listen, just to convince myself that it was right. And it was.

I don't think you need to justify your decision to his grandparents, but, just to give them one more thing to think about...ask them to consider how Grant will feel about having this done in a year or two. How much more fear and awarness of his belly being different there will be then, versus now. Emily was about 18 months, and honestly, other than a little discomfort, she never even questioned it. By the time she could ask about it, it had been there as long as she could remember and it was no big deal. I am convinced that if she had been 3 when it went in, it would have been a constant battle...since that's how EVERYTHING was when she was three. And still is, *sigh*.

The sooner the better. For Grant's well-being, for his health, and for you, too, so you can start seeing the positive benefits sooner. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't beleive that it wasn't necessary. Follow your gut.
You are great parents.

Please keep us posted. I'll be watching for updates next week!
 
I

izemmom

New member
I just wanted to echo Heather and tell you that you are doing the right thing. And I, too, can promise you that it will get better. That tube is going to become such a minor thing in a very short time. I know it doesn't feel like now, but it will.

It was absolutely the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I lost so much sleep over it, and cried and cried and talked to EVERYBODY that would listen, just to convince myself that it was right. And it was.

I don't think you need to justify your decision to his grandparents, but, just to give them one more thing to think about...ask them to consider how Grant will feel about having this done in a year or two. How much more fear and awarness of his belly being different there will be then, versus now. Emily was about 18 months, and honestly, other than a little discomfort, she never even questioned it. By the time she could ask about it, it had been there as long as she could remember and it was no big deal. I am convinced that if she had been 3 when it went in, it would have been a constant battle...since that's how EVERYTHING was when she was three. And still is, *sigh*.

The sooner the better. For Grant's well-being, for his health, and for you, too, so you can start seeing the positive benefits sooner. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't beleive that it wasn't necessary. Follow your gut.
You are great parents.

Please keep us posted. I'll be watching for updates next week!
 
I

izemmom

New member
I just wanted to echo Heather and tell you that you are doing the right thing. And I, too, can promise you that it will get better. That tube is going to become such a minor thing in a very short time. I know it doesn't feel like now, but it will.

It was absolutely the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I lost so much sleep over it, and cried and cried and talked to EVERYBODY that would listen, just to convince myself that it was right. And it was.

I don't think you need to justify your decision to his grandparents, but, just to give them one more thing to think about...ask them to consider how Grant will feel about having this done in a year or two. How much more fear and awarness of his belly being different there will be then, versus now. Emily was about 18 months, and honestly, other than a little discomfort, she never even questioned it. By the time she could ask about it, it had been there as long as she could remember and it was no big deal. I am convinced that if she had been 3 when it went in, it would have been a constant battle...since that's how EVERYTHING was when she was three. And still is, *sigh*.

The sooner the better. For Grant's well-being, for his health, and for you, too, so you can start seeing the positive benefits sooner. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't beleive that it wasn't necessary. Follow your gut.
You are great parents.

Please keep us posted. I'll be watching for updates next week!
 
I

izemmom

New member
I just wanted to echo Heather and tell you that you are doing the right thing. And I, too, can promise you that it will get better. That tube is going to become such a minor thing in a very short time. I know it doesn't feel like now, but it will.

It was absolutely the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I lost so much sleep over it, and cried and cried and talked to EVERYBODY that would listen, just to convince myself that it was right. And it was.

I don't think you need to justify your decision to his grandparents, but, just to give them one more thing to think about...ask them to consider how Grant will feel about having this done in a year or two. How much more fear and awarness of his belly being different there will be then, versus now. Emily was about 18 months, and honestly, other than a little discomfort, she never even questioned it. By the time she could ask about it, it had been there as long as she could remember and it was no big deal. I am convinced that if she had been 3 when it went in, it would have been a constant battle...since that's how EVERYTHING was when she was three. And still is, *sigh*.

The sooner the better. For Grant's well-being, for his health, and for you, too, so you can start seeing the positive benefits sooner. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't beleive that it wasn't necessary. Follow your gut.
You are great parents.

Please keep us posted. I'll be watching for updates next week!
 
I

izemmom

New member
I just wanted to echo Heather and tell you that you are doing the right thing. And I, too, can promise you that it will get better. That tube is going to become such a minor thing in a very short time. I know it doesn't feel like now, but it will.
<br />
<br />It was absolutely the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I lost so much sleep over it, and cried and cried and talked to EVERYBODY that would listen, just to convince myself that it was right. And it was.
<br />
<br />I don't think you need to justify your decision to his grandparents, but, just to give them one more thing to think about...ask them to consider how Grant will feel about having this done in a year or two. How much more fear and awarness of his belly being different there will be then, versus now. Emily was about 18 months, and honestly, other than a little discomfort, she never even questioned it. By the time she could ask about it, it had been there as long as she could remember and it was no big deal. I am convinced that if she had been 3 when it went in, it would have been a constant battle...since that's how EVERYTHING was when she was three. And still is, *sigh*.
<br />
<br />The sooner the better. For Grant's well-being, for his health, and for you, too, so you can start seeing the positive benefits sooner. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't beleive that it wasn't necessary. Follow your gut.
<br />You are great parents.
<br />
<br />Please keep us posted. I'll be watching for updates next week!
 
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