In Laws

[Emily65Roses]

I was reading another thread about getting a lot of crap from people's in laws. I was just wondering everyone's experience with this type of stuff? This is mine...

I was not always aware of how lucky I am with Mike's family. They all (large extended family) know, and don't care. He has an aunt who is a nurse, a cousin with epilepsy, a cousin with a connective tissue disorder, and they accept me as is. Mike's parents and brother know me better than the rest, and they all love me as is. Mike's mom, Louise, asks how my clinic appointments went when I come back from them, let's Mike go with me to all that stuff. When he first came home, claiming his brand new girlfriend had CF, neither of his parents said anything discouraging about me. Louise, instead (being a librarian), brought home books about CF, read them, and encouraged Mike to read them. They both know I can't naturally have kids, and don't care, even though if Mike stays with me, their firstborn won't have children the natural way. Louise knows the paths were going to look into to have kids, and we've talked about it. I feel that Louise is very much like my own mother. I can talk to her about nearly anything. She doesn't care, or judge me. I rarely talk about the CF with Mike's dad, Steve, but he's not home as often, and doesn't talk about personal things as readily as Louise does. However, when I have, he just asks questions to understand better, and similar things. No one makes a big deal out of it, and at the same time they don't ignore it altogether. Perfect balance.

I don't remember stories with Louise as easily because there are so many. But one story I remember with Steve is around this last Christmas, Mike's brother Ryan, Mike, myself, and their dad all sat down together to watch Elf. Right when it started, I had a loud coughing attack. I left the room until it died down. Mike came to get me and told me to come back, damnit! That no one cared that I was coughing. I told him it must be impossible to hear over me. And he said that immediately after I left the room, Steve gave him a funny look and said "You know, she didn't need to get up and leave." Mike said it was almost accusatory because he figured Mike told me to get out. lol

I'm just curious if more people have in laws (though they're not technically my in laws yet) like mine, or ones that don't like them based on the CF?? <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[ClashPunk82]

At first my boyfriend Kevin's family was a little hesitant of our relationship but we have been together almost 4 years and intend to marry so they are stuck with me! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> His family is great. They have accepted me and really like me which makes me feel good. They are very concerned with my health and always ask Kevin and I how I am doiing. I am so glad they like me and accept me CF and all! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

My wife’s family is great. They deal with my disease so much better than mine does and I truly believe they care more about my health than my own family. They actually ask how about my doctors appt's and call to check on me when I am on IV's or just not feeling well. It had been a long time since someone showed they cared about how I was feeling. I definitely do not NEED people to check on me, but...it feels pretty good to know someone cares.




Luke 29/cf 8 days to go

 

[Cariann2005Rob]

I have one of thee greatest in-laws possible! When i first met my husband i told him that i had cf but at the time i was in big time denile myself! So, i basically told him that i was fine! But as i was with him longer he noticed that i went into the hosp. more and more... He finally asked his mom to get him info on cf. (His sister was born without a pulmonary art. so they kinda know about this type of stuff, like treatments and well, alot of other in depth health issues!) So anyways, his mom told him some stuff that she knew, and then gave him info on it from the internet. At that time he was in bootcamp! So he really didnt see me going through this stuff. While I was in the hosp. whiloe he was in boot camp and tek school and here in Hawaii before we got married his family would come up and see me. Usually his mom and young sister and oldest sister. His dad lived in another state. But they were always supportive of me and of us. They still back us up 100%. They know we cant have kids naturally either but now my sister offered to have them for us. So, we are going to do the seregate mother thing but its going to cost between 10-13 thousand dollars to have one child!!! So his parents back us up all the way! They are awesome! I love them with all my heart. Also they have always been there to support Rob as he is in a huge tough spot with me!!! Alot of times he doesnt understand so he talks to his mother, so its really cool and it helps out soooo much that you have in-laws that care about you as much as your oun parents do!!!

Cariann
20/f w/cf Hawaii

 

[JennaB]

My ex-inlaws were horrible. They would think I'd be offended by everything. It was ridiculous. What made it ridiculous, is that they would assume everything would offend me, so they'd walk on egg shells, but then they'd say stupidlyatrocious stuff that contradicted their fears of offending me. If this makes sense - LOL.

My inlaws now are great. My husband's mom is a medical transcriptionist, so it helped a lot when I told him about my CF, because instead of bugging me about a million details, he asked her. And the cool thing about his mom is that she has health problems, too, so she doesn't give the awful news like the life expectancy thing or anything. She just gives the realistic news, not making it sound worse than it is. If this makes sense.

 

[EmilysMom]

How about a different sort of in-law story? When Emily's Dad and I first took Emily north to Vermont to meet all the relatives (her Dad's side of the family) when she was about 6 months old. I accidentally walked into the tail end of a conversation where all the elderly aunts (there were 5 of them) were standing around and the last comment was "Well, Alan would have had healthy children if he hadn't married her". Needless to say, they sprang to the top of my sh*t list and stayed there until this day!

 

[Emily65Roses]

Are those all the aunts with old lady names? Eileen, Paula, Harriet and all that? Screw them, they're all dead now anyhow.

 

[LilStrawberyShortness]

lmao emily...aweee emilys mommy im sorry...-nodds- i agree with emily..oh and im the one who called looking for emily last night -smiles- i was going to start to chat with you...but i didnt want to annoy you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

I called my mother-in-law the day my son was diagnosed with CF(he has it, not me) and she laughed! She said "I always knew something was wrong with him, he looks like a skinny chicken" and she informed me that her sister died of CF. I didn't know she had a sister or that anyone on my husbands side of the family had CF--maybe it would'nt have taken 18months to get find out he had CF if we knew there was a family history. I'm a little bitter, but I can't help it.
Emily. Mike's family sounds awesome, so does he !

 

[thefrogprincess]

My BF and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and his family has always accepted me for me. This past Christmas they put up a huge display of lights on their property and advertised that people could walk through and they took donations for the CF Foundation. Pretty cool huh? This spring they're going to walk with us in Great Strides.

 

[Purplelungs]

My in laws are great now. They dont make a fuss ( except the mother in law but shes another story). Ever since the begining they were very nice to me and accepting...I dont think they knew I had cf till we were engaged though cus my hubby kinda kept me to himself (another story has to do with the mother). So I never really was around the family that much till we were engaged. Although one of his sisters knew about me cus she worked with my mom. When my husband told his mom we were getting married (i was standing right there) she goes "are you sure?" ugh hello. she should know her son isnt an idiot and doesnt just jump into these kinds of descions. Then later on she kept insinuating that we should hold off on the wedding till Tyrel could take care of me cus CF is expensive "and she knows cus shes a nurse" *rolling eyes here*...tyrel got really mad at his mother because he says its like she gets to where you can trust her with something important like that and she says or does something stupid. then later we find out she has a talk with my mom telling my mom not to let tyrel marry me if he cant take care of me...and my mom says something like"why do you think he took that job in blank town two hours away, its better pay and has insurance. you should know your son is one of the most responsible people you know, i know he will take great care of amanda he already is"" GO MOM! anyway husbands mom is a nosey person she even tries to get info out of me saying tyrel doesnt tell her stuff when i know he has.
Now my in laws treat me like another sister. My neices and nephews love me like i have been there forever. They even are doing school reports on cf and where braclets. They dont treat me like I will break, they make me tell them the truth instead of the "i'm fine" reply all the time well I should say all of them but the mother in law. She gets on my nerves....when talking to her she even gives me this face as if she is talking to another grandkid. *sigh*. she is just crazy i have come to accept that lol.

So my point is at first it was rough...with the mom in law, and still is but i have learned to ignore it mostly. The rest of the in laws are great.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Your mother in law is lucky you're patient. If I were you, I'd have told her to shut her nosey ***** mouth by now. And that reminded me of something else. I HATE when nurses think they know EVERYTHING just because they're nurses. Yeah you may deal with patients who have CF, but you know what? I've lived with it for 21 years! I pay attention. I know my own case and my treatment, and I KNOW what I'm talking about. They think just because we're on the inside, we're suffering from it, but know nothing about it. When in reality, most of us know more about it than any given nurse, tech, doctor, or whoever the hell else. Grrrrrr. *continues ranting and raving to herself*

 

[Purplelungs]

Well this will make you rant even more. Shes an RN yes but deals with only phsyic patients....as in she only works with teenagers at a mental hospital. Those dealing with depression, behavior that may hurt themselves or others, that sort of thing. Oh and when she started working with mental problems or learning of that sort of thing (nothing like mental slowness just depression, drugs etc..) My husband was 11 and you know when your around that age hormones are starting up and you never want to sleep when your supposed to and will sleep all day if left alone...Well because of just that she thought my husband was on drugs...at 11!!...just go from there at how many stories I can tell you. He has 6 brothers and sisters...4 of which are older...the youngest of that 4 is 12 years older than Tyrel. They had tyrel and said hey lets have more kids so he isnt alone and had 2 more boys. Tyrel was treated very unfairly. He got introuble (yes sometimes because he needed to be) but if his younger brothers did something he was blamed for it. The younger two are very spoiled. I am lucky though because tyrel has structure and very responsible. Although he resents his parents very much. ok i have rambled on to much sorry guys.

 

[anonymous]

The first time I saw my ex-inlaws after learning about my child's CF, they had a huge screaming match about which side of their family had contributed the CF gene to my ex-husband. I can laugh about it now but at the time it was very upsetting!

 

[Emily65Roses]

I always wondered why that mattered. Why make it a blame game? It's not like people hand down the CF gene on purpose. So who cares where it came from, other than to test who else might have it.

 

[anonymous]

One time my boyfriend's (now fiancee) mom said that he should consider us just living together and not getting married due to the financial burden of my healthcare...to be honest, haven't liked her since.

 

[EmilysMom]

Strawberry...
After I hung up, I thought --HHMMMMM Emily doesn't know anyone named Brandi <little light bulb went on> it must have been you.....I would have loved to have chatted. Next time remind me who you are. I have an old woman's brain--
and EMily...
yes those are the ones that are all dead now, so it doesn't matter now but it did at the time. That's why I never wanted to spend any time with them. I don't think they ever knew I heard them. oh well!