Is my ex allowed to do this?

J

JustDucky

New member
Oh...wow! That does take the cake...never heard of the vest causing cancer from the shaking. Sounds like dad is in serious denial of your son's CF. So sad because Ty suffers, not him. He should not be allowed to be with him alone until he learns to be compliant with your son's treatments. Just because he looks good, doesn't mean that his insides aren't declining in some way....that's just the way CF is, it's too bad that he doesn't understand that.
Keeping you in my thoughts as well as Ty...hang in there..

Jenn 40 w/CF
 
J

JustDucky

New member
Oh...wow! That does take the cake...never heard of the vest causing cancer from the shaking. Sounds like dad is in serious denial of your son's CF. So sad because Ty suffers, not him. He should not be allowed to be with him alone until he learns to be compliant with your son's treatments. Just because he looks good, doesn't mean that his insides aren't declining in some way....that's just the way CF is, it's too bad that he doesn't understand that.
Keeping you in my thoughts as well as Ty...hang in there..

Jenn 40 w/CF
 
S

ShortyT

New member
I dont know what is going on with the case now but im here as a testimony that you have to take action quickly my birthmother would not take care of me why i was a baby. As much as i love my birth mother im glad that she wasnt allowed to raise me. Sometime the best thing for your child is to keep them away from a parent. He may not understand now but later in life he will be very grateful for you taking action.
 
G

Gentrygirl

New member
One thing you need to consider also is that bitter parents can put thoughts in their kids' heads. I have to remember this myself when I speak of my ex in front of my kids. They are a product of that person, and believing that the parent is twisted can cause a young mind to think he/she must also be twisted. I started this response as a heads up that the dad might be putting thoughts in Tylers head that he doesn't have CF or that his treatments aren't important - THAT is just as bad as actually not doing them, because those beliefs will carry forward- serious business! In finishing the post, however, my advice is that you, also, have to remember that what you say about his dad affects him as well. It's always better to put things in a positive manner: "Treatments are important, you'll need to do them even when I'm not there to help you with it, etc." rather than "Your father, that jerk, is hurting you....etc.". Not sure how old he is, if he can take control of his treatments yet, but a positive spin is always better, even if it's hard. Good luck- I know it's hard to deal with an ex!
 
S

Shelly43

Guest
OK I'm seeing lot's of go to court answers here and I"m praying that works for you... My son was diagnosed at age 3 1/2 and his dad has always only done his meds about half the time, sends them back unopened? lol I talked to our doctor about it often when he was small and she said she would testify in court if needed but she had never ever won a case where custody was lost by the non compliant parent...So If I wanted to waste my money she would be right there for us? but she couldn't see it making a differance? When arguing with my ex about this he and his new wife explain it's just to hard to do in their busy life and Collin needs church and being saved more then any medical treatments? Oh really? In the mean time I'm with Gentry girl this is teaching my son that his treatments are not important.... I object to that most of all....I seem to be able to manage doing everything and still getting the treatments done?Even as a single parent...I don't care what thier social calender looks like. For years now if my son is getting ill at all I don't let my son go to his dad's and if his dad argues? I ask him if he has time to do 4 hours of vest treatments or not? he usually backs out then....so it ends up my son sees him maybe 12 times a year, 12 times too many in my book but? what are you going to do? Our consulor and doctor are now telling my son to be responsable for his own health and do them himself. He is almost 14 now... I'm all for that but feel he still needs someone watching over his shoulder, just to be sure? Best of Luck!!
 
P

Printer

Active member
About eight months ago, in the Lawrence Massachusetts Superior Court (Commonwealth of Massachusetts) a Mother was convicted of second degree murder for withholding her childs cancer meds. She is presently doing 20 years. Obviously the child died and the Mothers defence was that the meds made her child sick.

In Massachusetts, withholding meds is CHILD ABUSE.

You have a very serious action against your ex, no matter what state that you live in.
 
H

Hardak

New member
You should have good solid legal ground to press the issue and maybe limit your ex down to visitation that is under 12 hours at a time, if anything. Social worker, Lawyers, Doctors, Hell if you can swing it get him into the doctors the same day you pick him up so there is outside documentation of his condition when he comes home. It wouldn't surprise me if this falls under child endangerment neglect and abuse charges as a tri-fecta.
 
L

LittleLab4CF

Super Moderator
See a family law attorney. You have at your hands, virtually any solution you want from court ordered and social service monitored participation in your son's medical maintainence, to taking sole custody and increased financial support. I have seen a pattern of court decisions where the non custodial parent is charged with either providing health insurance or otherwise paying for medical bills. You may be able to affect a desired solution through Social Services or other suggested authorities, but this is by nearly all family laws nationwide, tantamount to physical abuse, child endangerment etc. which gives you a veribable arsenal of laws supporting your side of the tussle.

Decide what you want to do and be done with it. The sooner the Better. If you would like a referral to a good affordable family attorney, PM me. BTW generally speaking he gets to pay for your choice of attorney. I hope this helps.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top