im 26 now, and have been an "unruly" patient since i was 14.. which was when i first tried to commit suicide. obviously, i failed. multiple times, because i know deep down i would rather wake up 10 years from now conquering this disease and showing everyone who tells me they think im strong but acts like im weak that i can accomplish more than they can. unfortunately, with that "normal person" mind set comes the neglect of my health care... as to not interfere with my life. talking to someone can help, though i find writing, painting, music.. whatever creative anonymous outlets there are help more. we take enough medication, antidepressants just add to the list of meds i wont take. thinking about someone judging me while im telling them i feel weak because i cant manage having this disease increases the suicidal thoughts... but my desire to be a successful indepent individual and proving to myself and everyone around me that im not some lame duck and that i can overcome keeps me going. vanity can be a productive tool sometimes...
so now you know your not alone. dont feel weak... having the courage to face this disease, in itself, makes you stronger than most.
my only suggestion on the treatments to keep yourself out of my predicament (which is now being hospitalized every 2 months) would be to wake up maybe 20 min earlier than normal, start your vest up and a breathing treatment then take a nap while its going. that way you get some care in without really having it invade your life. or wait til morning to do your homework, since your stuck sitting there by yourself why not run the machine. if you dont have a machine tell your dr to get you one.
good luck, and stay positive if you can.
