I've got so much I want to say to you. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
First off I believe you can go out on your own. Because I can, and I do.
Last year I moved out of my parents home and I now live 2 states away. There are many options and roads you can take here.
You can live alone just like everyone else can.
Food Stamps - Get these, if you have no income these can cover your food (Single Person Living Alone is about 200 Dollars A Month)
SSI - You can get this even if you don't live alone. However living alone can increase the ammount you receive. If you have no income and your parents aren't helping you with anything, you can receive the maximum ammount. Which is $568 dollars a month. If you live with your parents then of course it will still be considerably lower. When I lived with my parents I made 368 dollars a month on social security. Either way you're getting some cash flow. Of course my parents still help me. I don't leave them out. They're still my parents. My parents pay for my car notes and insurance, while my student loans will take care of my rent, and my social security takes care of my other bills.
One thing I do is use my student loans to pay my rent, while my State Rehab pays for my college. You should look into that for yourself as well. Right now they pay for my gas to and from the university, my perscription cost, and the ammount my grants don't cover for my school.
Contact your Local state housing Dept, for Disabled Persons. You can get what's called a "Disabled Renters Voucher" which (If you can get it) and you have no income they'll pay for most, if not all of your rent, but living expenses is still left to you. I haven't gotten this yet, but they haven't take applications for sometime. This varies state to state, and if you even wanted to you could apply to live in one of the goverment owned houses, but I advise against that, as most of the time you're not getting anything nice.
School - I have a full college schedule and I get sick in the hospital at least 3 times a year. I get around this buy working with my school. Anyone can. By state law (504 medical) they HAVE to help you get through college if you're registered with the department of disabled student services (or something similar) if they don't you can sue them for every penny they have. They can never turn you down and they can't say no unless there's some IMPOSSIBLE way that you'd miss so much you couldn't make up your work. Usually I'm out for a couple of weeks a hospital visit, so I get the school to hire notetakers to take notes in all my classes, or I setup a videocamera for my classes to watch by, that way when I get out I'm caught up. You can get that worked out, just like I do. I certainly use the school for everything I can, I have a teacher parking permit for easier access to classes, and when I need it I can make up my work just as if I was there if I wasn't.
Girlfriends - Yes, this sometimes sucks. I just broke up with the second love of my life. : \ and it does suck, but I've learned they come and go just like it does for any normal person and a relationship. However, we're still the best of friends and I'm sure somewhere down the line I'll meet someone for me. I can see how you think nobody would want to be with you, but if you find that special someone, they won't care how much money you make or what you have wrong with you. They'll love you for who you are. If you can't find someone that does that you don't need to be with them anyway. I've found this to be true, that if you LOOK for that someone you won't find them. Both the people I've met and fell in love with I was totally unexpecting, and when I was looking for someone I never found them. Just do your normal thing and before your realize what's going on you'll meet someone special. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
As for children when you two get to that point you can discuss it. There are many available options. When I'm going into a relationship usually I'm friends with them long enough for them to see what they can handle before we move any further, and yes I touch the topic of not having kids. We just can't do it. We can have surgery that can increase our chances, but even if we can conceive of a child, it might have CF. Well adopt. That's what I'm gonna do depending on the circumstances. If I don't wanna adopt and we have a high chance of it not being a CF child I'll artificially assimulate if wanted to try that. You just have explore options, but don't worry about that now, worry about that when you come to it.
Depression - I've been there, and I can tell you that's really hard, but you can overcome it. I've been going in and out of it since I was 16 but now I've found new reasons for living. Live life like it's your only one, and BELIEVE that you can and you won't be depressed. I'm alone ALOT but I find that the more I keep myself busy the less I worry about. I play games, collect action figures, found me some nice hobbies to keep me occupied. I run errands, I take a drive, I do anything to keep my mind off of it. And if you don't want to be depressed don't make yourself. I know it's hard to make friends because I'm one of the people that have trouble looking for them myself, but over the last two years I've met alot of people by going to church and just talking to people (which used to be really hard for me) but since I learned that if I don't, I won't make any friends and I know it'll get me down I overcome my fear of talking to people and TALK. Everything we do will be in some kind of hardship but you can overcome it just like I do, and you can and will do it if you believe you can. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
Taking care of yourself - You know my mom used to never believe I could do it. And you wann know why, because when I lived with my parents I never HAD to take care of myself because they did for me. She never realized that's why I didn't try. Obviously when you live alone you figure you better take care of yourself or die. It's either take your meds and use your abilities the best you can or give up and not care which is the worst way out. After I moved and my mom saw I could take of myself she def trust me to do it. I know more than most doctors do about my CF and I know when I have problems to go to the hospital, and when to do what, and how to do it. I'm sure with your experience you could do the same. All you need is a little faith on both parts from you and your parents.
You can have a life like anyone else can if you try hard enough. Sure we have our differences but it can be done. I know it can be done if you believe so. And yes living by yourself will still be hard, and you'll feel more alone than ever, but you have to make yourself change to overcome those problems, and that's hard, but you can do it. I had to. I know I've grown up really quick in the last two years.
I hope I've helped and any questions you have, feel free to ask.
Matt~ (Yep we have the same name) <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">
