Legally married versus ceremonial marriage

J

julie

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<DIV class=Message_TombstoneContainer><STRONG><A href="<A HREF="http://www.cysticfibrosis.com/profile/index.cfm/julie">http://www.cysticfibrosis.com/profile/index.cfm/julie</A>">julie</A></STRONG><IMG border=0 alt=" " src="<A HREF="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/dominant/trans.gif">http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/dominant/trans.gif</A>" width=1 height=8>Posts: 3914Joined: 10/20/2004 </DIV></TD>
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<DIV class=MessageText_Container>For those who are religious (or maybe even those who aren't) and have an issue with the MARRIAGE thingy (benefits, being legally married versus just a ceremony)... being "legally married" versus "cermeonial marriage" is just the DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF THE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry but I've checked the bible through and through, and it simply says MARRIAGE. It's our country and society who decided the definition of "legally" married. Pretty sure the man upstairs ONLY cares about an eternal promise and committment to eachother, and maybe if it makes you feel better SIGN the darn marriage license, but don't file it. Then it's still in ink. The lord doesn't define marriage in terms of how our society has translated it, our society has decided what "legally" married is and as far as I'm concerned our society gets a LOT of things wrong <IMG border=0 src="<A HREF="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif">http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif</A>"> <STRONG></STRONG></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
 
J

julie

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<DIV class=MessageText_Container>For those who are religious (or maybe even those who aren't) and have an issue with the MARRIAGE thingy (benefits, being legally married versus just a ceremony)... being "legally married" versus "cermeonial marriage" is just the DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF THE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry but I've checked the bible through and through, and it simply says MARRIAGE. It's our country and society who decided the definition of "legally" married. Pretty sure the man upstairs ONLY cares about an eternal promise and committment to eachother, and maybe if it makes you feel better SIGN the darn marriage license, but don't file it. Then it's still in ink. The lord doesn't define marriage in terms of how our society has translated it, our society has decided what "legally" married is and as far as I'm concerned our society gets a LOT of things wrong <IMG border=0 src="<A HREF="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif">http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif</A>"> <STRONG></STRONG></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
 
J

julie

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<DIV class=MessageText_Container>For those who are religious (or maybe even those who aren't) and have an issue with the MARRIAGE thingy (benefits, being legally married versus just a ceremony)... <BR><BR>being "legally married" versus "cermeonial marriage" is just the DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF THE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR><BR>I'm sorry but I've checked the bible through and through, and it simply says MARRIAGE. It's our country and society who decided the definition of "legally" married. Pretty sure the man upstairs ONLY cares about an eternal promise and committment to eachother, and maybe if it makes you feel better SIGN the darn marriage license, but don't file it. Then it's still in ink. The lord doesn't define marriage in terms of how our society has translated it, our society has decided what "legally" married is and as far as I'm concerned our society gets a LOT of things wrong <IMG border=0 src="<A HREF="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif">http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif</A>"> <STRONG><BR><BR></STRONG></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
 
R

redheadedmommy

New member
thats an awesome ay to put it ! i have to agree but i do have a question... if we were to get married and sign the license could i still carry his last name if i didn't file the license?
 
R

redheadedmommy

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thats an awesome ay to put it ! i have to agree but i do have a question... if we were to get married and sign the license could i still carry his last name if i didn't file the license?
 
R

redheadedmommy

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thats an awesome ay to put it ! i have to agree but i do have a question... if we were to get married and sign the license could i still carry his last name if i didn't file the license?
 
D

dukeblue1206

New member
I agree 100% with Julie. I am not religious so not getting married was fine with me. We did do the ceremony, but did not file anything to make it legal, because she wanted her day to be a bride and her family is of the religious type and really wanted it as well. So I was really just along for the ride on that day..haha
 
D

dukeblue1206

New member
I agree 100% with Julie. I am not religious so not getting married was fine with me. We did do the ceremony, but did not file anything to make it legal, because she wanted her day to be a bride and her family is of the religious type and really wanted it as well. So I was really just along for the ride on that day..haha
 
D

dukeblue1206

New member
I agree 100% with Julie. I am not religious so not getting married was fine with me. We did do the ceremony, but did not file anything to make it legal, because she wanted her day to be a bride and her family is of the religious type and really wanted it as well. So I was really just along for the ride on that day..haha
 
C

cindylou

Guest
Respectfully, I think that everyone needs to decide for themselves what they feel comfortable with. My husband and I are both members of the Church of ***** of Latter-Day Saints (LDS/Mormon), and we were married in an LDS temple. You cannot be married in the temple (or have your marriage recognized by the LDS church) if it is not a legally binding marriage. My husband and I both feel that part of obeying the Lord is obeying the laws of the land, so it was important to us that our marriage was legal as well as religious.

Like I said - this is something everyone has to decide for themselves. I just think it's important to respect peoples' right to make that decision.
 
C

cindylou

Guest
Respectfully, I think that everyone needs to decide for themselves what they feel comfortable with. My husband and I are both members of the Church of ***** of Latter-Day Saints (LDS/Mormon), and we were married in an LDS temple. You cannot be married in the temple (or have your marriage recognized by the LDS church) if it is not a legally binding marriage. My husband and I both feel that part of obeying the Lord is obeying the laws of the land, so it was important to us that our marriage was legal as well as religious.

Like I said - this is something everyone has to decide for themselves. I just think it's important to respect peoples' right to make that decision.
 
C

cindylou

Guest
Respectfully, I think that everyone needs to decide for themselves what they feel comfortable with. My husband and I are both members of the Church of ***** of Latter-Day Saints (LDS/Mormon), and we were married in an LDS temple. You cannot be married in the temple (or have your marriage recognized by the LDS church) if it is not a legally binding marriage. My husband and I both feel that part of obeying the Lord is obeying the laws of the land, so it was important to us that our marriage was legal as well as religious.
<br />
<br />Like I said - this is something everyone has to decide for themselves. I just think it's important to respect peoples' right to make that decision.
 
J

julie

New member
This isn't about peoples "rights" to choose based on their own religious belifs Cindy. I understand how the Morman church works. If that's what you need to do to be right with your religion and your church, then so be it. Please do NOT turn this topic into a debate. This was just a point of view to ASSIST those who were having concerns about insurance, SSDI/SSI, spouse going into private business... and all that jazz. If it doesn't work for you, then simply don't do it. It's obvious that everyone has different beliefs, and will make their choices based on that.

I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!

@courtney, YES, you can change your last name to his. You would have to file through your local court, and pay their fees to do so.
 
J

julie

New member
This isn't about peoples "rights" to choose based on their own religious belifs Cindy. I understand how the Morman church works. If that's what you need to do to be right with your religion and your church, then so be it. Please do NOT turn this topic into a debate. This was just a point of view to ASSIST those who were having concerns about insurance, SSDI/SSI, spouse going into private business... and all that jazz. If it doesn't work for you, then simply don't do it. It's obvious that everyone has different beliefs, and will make their choices based on that.

I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!

@courtney, YES, you can change your last name to his. You would have to file through your local court, and pay their fees to do so.
 
J

julie

New member
This isn't about peoples "rights" to choose based on their own religious belifs Cindy. I understand how the Morman church works. If that's what you need to do to be right with your religion and your church, then so be it. Please do NOT turn this topic into a debate. This was just a point of view to ASSIST those who were having concerns about insurance, SSDI/SSI, spouse going into private business... and all that jazz. If it doesn't work for you, then simply don't do it. It's obvious that everyone has different beliefs, and will make their choices based on that.
<br />
<br />I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!
<br />
<br />@courtney, YES, you can change your last name to his. You would have to file through your local court, and pay their fees to do so.
 
A

AnnieT

New member
Julie, I understand you do not want this to be turned into a debate, but you are clearly voicing your opinion here:


"I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!"

So with that being said, if others want to voice their own opinion they should be allowed to do so.
 
A

AnnieT

New member
Julie, I understand you do not want this to be turned into a debate, but you are clearly voicing your opinion here:


"I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!"

So with that being said, if others want to voice their own opinion they should be allowed to do so.
 
A

AnnieT

New member
Julie, I understand you do not want this to be turned into a debate, but you are clearly voicing your opinion here:
<br />
<br />
<br />"I just think that people really need to THINK about the ramifications of getting "legally" married to appease society, versus entering into a "marriage" that may not fit OUR SOCIETY's definition of "legal" but still fits the requirements (which are VERY liberal) outlined by the bible; sometimes resulting in a loss of life sustaining and necessary benefits!!!"
<br />
<br />So with that being said, if others want to voice their own opinion they should be allowed to do so.
<br />
 
C

cindylou

Guest
Julie, thanks for your reply. I wasn't trying to turn it into a debate (I actually really hate it when these kinds of threads get heated!) - it just seemed from your original post that you were somewhat belittling those of us who do or have chosen for religious reasons to be civilly married. I realize now that was misunderstanding on my part. My hubby and I spent a year working through all the stress that came with trying to figure out how we'd have good insurance, and we didn't have prescription coverage until 6 months after we'd been married (THANKFULLY a few things worked out in a fairly miraculous way and we didn't end up having to pay the full cost of most meds during that time). So we've definitely been through the wringer as far as insurance problems because of our civil marriage. It's a really tough situation to be in, but it is usually possible to find some way to make it work.
 
C

cindylou

Guest
Julie, thanks for your reply. I wasn't trying to turn it into a debate (I actually really hate it when these kinds of threads get heated!) - it just seemed from your original post that you were somewhat belittling those of us who do or have chosen for religious reasons to be civilly married. I realize now that was misunderstanding on my part. My hubby and I spent a year working through all the stress that came with trying to figure out how we'd have good insurance, and we didn't have prescription coverage until 6 months after we'd been married (THANKFULLY a few things worked out in a fairly miraculous way and we didn't end up having to pay the full cost of most meds during that time). So we've definitely been through the wringer as far as insurance problems because of our civil marriage. It's a really tough situation to be in, but it is usually possible to find some way to make it work.
 
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