Legally married versus ceremonial marriage

C

cindylou

Guest
Julie, thanks for your reply. I wasn't trying to turn it into a debate (I actually really hate it when these kinds of threads get heated!) - it just seemed from your original post that you were somewhat belittling those of us who do or have chosen for religious reasons to be civilly married. I realize now that was misunderstanding on my part. My hubby and I spent a year working through all the stress that came with trying to figure out how we'd have good insurance, and we didn't have prescription coverage until 6 months after we'd been married (THANKFULLY a few things worked out in a fairly miraculous way and we didn't end up having to pay the full cost of most meds during that time). So we've definitely been through the wringer as far as insurance problems because of our civil marriage. It's a really tough situation to be in, but it is usually possible to find some way to make it work.
 
M

mamerth

New member
I made the decision to get married. It was the right decision for our situation.

I had a friend with CF that made the decision to not get married due to her insurance issues (she was on the list to get a lung transplant).

Everyone has to do what is right for their insurance issues... family issues... and issues of the heart.
 
M

mamerth

New member
I made the decision to get married. It was the right decision for our situation.

I had a friend with CF that made the decision to not get married due to her insurance issues (she was on the list to get a lung transplant).

Everyone has to do what is right for their insurance issues... family issues... and issues of the heart.
 
M

mamerth

New member
I made the decision to get married. It was the right decision for our situation.
<br />
<br />I had a friend with CF that made the decision to not get married due to her insurance issues (she was on the list to get a lung transplant).
<br />
<br />Everyone has to do what is right for their insurance issues... family issues... and issues of the heart.
 
B

Blessed4Times

New member
Even if you aren't religious, societies all throughout the world from many cultures and religions that have been the most successful have been those based on marriage! It's a fact of our history. Marriage is considered man's "first society" so it's certainly not a new fad by any means. The bible actually does say that marriage is an instituation that was designed by GOD (Matt. 22:23-30). In Malachi 2:14,16, God says that marriage is a covenant, one witnessed and sealed by Him.

You have defined marriage as nothing more than a CIVIL agreement. Breaking a commitment or civil agreement can be done by mutual agreement and you can get up and walk away any time you want. However, a covenant is considered binding, in both the eyes of the land (meaing it's a PUBLIC commitment) and the eyes of GOD. This is why we have "legal marriage" that is recognized by our government and the church. Some states recognize domestic partners, but the term is not universal everywhere you go.
 
B

Blessed4Times

New member
Even if you aren't religious, societies all throughout the world from many cultures and religions that have been the most successful have been those based on marriage! It's a fact of our history. Marriage is considered man's "first society" so it's certainly not a new fad by any means. The bible actually does say that marriage is an instituation that was designed by GOD (Matt. 22:23-30). In Malachi 2:14,16, God says that marriage is a covenant, one witnessed and sealed by Him.

You have defined marriage as nothing more than a CIVIL agreement. Breaking a commitment or civil agreement can be done by mutual agreement and you can get up and walk away any time you want. However, a covenant is considered binding, in both the eyes of the land (meaing it's a PUBLIC commitment) and the eyes of GOD. This is why we have "legal marriage" that is recognized by our government and the church. Some states recognize domestic partners, but the term is not universal everywhere you go.
 
B

Blessed4Times

New member
Even if you aren't religious, societies all throughout the world from many cultures and religions that have been the most successful have been those based on marriage! It's a fact of our history. Marriage is considered man's "first society" so it's certainly not a new fad by any means. The bible actually does say that marriage is an instituation that was designed by GOD (Matt. 22:23-30). In Malachi 2:14,16, God says that marriage is a covenant, one witnessed and sealed by Him.
<br />
<br />You have defined marriage as nothing more than a CIVIL agreement. Breaking a commitment or civil agreement can be done by mutual agreement and you can get up and walk away any time you want. However, a covenant is considered binding, in both the eyes of the land (meaing it's a PUBLIC commitment) and the eyes of GOD. This is why we have "legal marriage" that is recognized by our government and the church. Some states recognize domestic partners, but the term is not universal everywhere you go.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Blessed4Times - Yes cultures around the world have "marriage" but very few of them carry the legal ramifications that they do in developed countries. In less developed places and past societies, you had a marriage that was recognized in the culture and that was it. You didn't have to sign papers, pay different taxes, lose (or gain) benefits and insurance. You were just considered married and that was it. It was a commitment 2 people made to each other and to their families. The involvement of the government in marriage is only a more recent phenomenon (as in the last 400 years). That is a blink of the eye in human history (and most religions).

Marriage in the US *IS* a civil agreement. Can you tell me it is not?? Religious or not, you enter into a binding agreement that changes how things are done (health insurance, benefits, taxes, etc). For those of us who are religious (we are not) then you can also define it as you see fit. But as far as all the changes that occur when married, those are only due to the civil agreement recognized by our government.

Nobody is discouraging getting married for religious reasons or any reason you want! But what is someone supposed to do if they are going to lose health insurance and SSI $ when they get married just because everyone says they have to? That could literally shorten their life or make it less full if they can not get access to the health care they need because they can not afford it. I would love to say I was legally married but it just is not in the best interest of our family.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Blessed4Times - Yes cultures around the world have "marriage" but very few of them carry the legal ramifications that they do in developed countries. In less developed places and past societies, you had a marriage that was recognized in the culture and that was it. You didn't have to sign papers, pay different taxes, lose (or gain) benefits and insurance. You were just considered married and that was it. It was a commitment 2 people made to each other and to their families. The involvement of the government in marriage is only a more recent phenomenon (as in the last 400 years). That is a blink of the eye in human history (and most religions).

Marriage in the US *IS* a civil agreement. Can you tell me it is not?? Religious or not, you enter into a binding agreement that changes how things are done (health insurance, benefits, taxes, etc). For those of us who are religious (we are not) then you can also define it as you see fit. But as far as all the changes that occur when married, those are only due to the civil agreement recognized by our government.

Nobody is discouraging getting married for religious reasons or any reason you want! But what is someone supposed to do if they are going to lose health insurance and SSI $ when they get married just because everyone says they have to? That could literally shorten their life or make it less full if they can not get access to the health care they need because they can not afford it. I would love to say I was legally married but it just is not in the best interest of our family.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
Blessed4Times - Yes cultures around the world have "marriage" but very few of them carry the legal ramifications that they do in developed countries. In less developed places and past societies, you had a marriage that was recognized in the culture and that was it. You didn't have to sign papers, pay different taxes, lose (or gain) benefits and insurance. You were just considered married and that was it. It was a commitment 2 people made to each other and to their families. The involvement of the government in marriage is only a more recent phenomenon (as in the last 400 years). That is a blink of the eye in human history (and most religions).
<br />
<br />Marriage in the US *IS* a civil agreement. Can you tell me it is not?? Religious or not, you enter into a binding agreement that changes how things are done (health insurance, benefits, taxes, etc). For those of us who are religious (we are not) then you can also define it as you see fit. But as far as all the changes that occur when married, those are only due to the civil agreement recognized by our government.
<br />
<br />Nobody is discouraging getting married for religious reasons or any reason you want! But what is someone supposed to do if they are going to lose health insurance and SSI $ when they get married just because everyone says they have to? That could literally shorten their life or make it less full if they can not get access to the health care they need because they can not afford it. I would love to say I was legally married but it just is not in the best interest of our family.
 
M

my65roses4me

New member
My husband and I were already married before I started receiving sdi. The only the that was affected was the amount I received because they took his income in consideration. I was never turned down because of being married. I also started receiving medicare at the same time. So as far as those two I dont see a problem with being married. But for all the other insurances I dont have any advice because my other ins is california state based ghpp. That also was never affected by marriage. Just thought I would put that out there to those that are confused. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
M

my65roses4me

New member
My husband and I were already married before I started receiving sdi. The only the that was affected was the amount I received because they took his income in consideration. I was never turned down because of being married. I also started receiving medicare at the same time. So as far as those two I dont see a problem with being married. But for all the other insurances I dont have any advice because my other ins is california state based ghpp. That also was never affected by marriage. Just thought I would put that out there to those that are confused. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
M

my65roses4me

New member
My husband and I were already married before I started receiving sdi. The only the that was affected was the amount I received because they took his income in consideration. I was never turned down because of being married. I also started receiving medicare at the same time. So as far as those two I dont see a problem with being married. But for all the other insurances I dont have any advice because my other ins is california state based ghpp. That also was never affected by marriage. Just thought I would put that out there to those that are confused. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
J

julie

New member
Cindy, I wasn't at all belitteling those who do make the choice to marry. I'm a believer in marriage. However, I also believe people need to do what works best for them ESPECIALLY when that choice can affect their health (i.e. loosing state medical benefits, which in some states ARE amazing!).

Caroline, exactly what I meant! Thank you!

Khristina, Are you on SSDI or SSI, or both (which sometimes happens if your SSDI benefit amount isn't a lot) If you are on SSDI then your husbands income has NO impact on it. The ONLY thing that can change SSDI amount is if you earn ofer 1000 a month.

Musclemania, SSI, state medicaid and food stamps are all affected if you get married.
 
J

julie

New member
Cindy, I wasn't at all belitteling those who do make the choice to marry. I'm a believer in marriage. However, I also believe people need to do what works best for them ESPECIALLY when that choice can affect their health (i.e. loosing state medical benefits, which in some states ARE amazing!).

Caroline, exactly what I meant! Thank you!

Khristina, Are you on SSDI or SSI, or both (which sometimes happens if your SSDI benefit amount isn't a lot) If you are on SSDI then your husbands income has NO impact on it. The ONLY thing that can change SSDI amount is if you earn ofer 1000 a month.

Musclemania, SSI, state medicaid and food stamps are all affected if you get married.
 
J

julie

New member
Cindy, I wasn't at all belitteling those who do make the choice to marry. I'm a believer in marriage. However, I also believe people need to do what works best for them ESPECIALLY when that choice can affect their health (i.e. loosing state medical benefits, which in some states ARE amazing!).
<br />
<br />Caroline, exactly what I meant! Thank you!
<br />
<br />Khristina, Are you on SSDI or SSI, or both (which sometimes happens if your SSDI benefit amount isn't a lot) If you are on SSDI then your husbands income has NO impact on it. The ONLY thing that can change SSDI amount is if you earn ofer 1000 a month.
<br />
<br />Musclemania, SSI, state medicaid and food stamps are all affected if you get married.
 
M

my65roses4me

New member
Julie when I applied for my benefits my husbands income was taken in consideration.
I am on ssdi. His income significantly lowered my benefit amount.
 
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