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living in denial
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
That was out of line, Kaitsmom. For one thing, you assume I share that view of life now--I don't. (I did once, and when I did, I was perfectly justified in holding it, too.) There's nothing "negative" about acknowledging that for some people, life simply isn't worth living, and for reasons above and beyond ones that can be overcome with some effort, like the ones you mentioned. Everyone will die, yes; not everyone will face a "life" that brings them more hassle than pleasure. I'm pretty sure anyone's spirit could be broken by sufficiently bad illness, although the exact amount of hassle required will, of course, vary by individual, and other factors will come into play. And since it's such a personal thing, only the original poster can decide whether her current situation is satisfactory, as helpful as others' suggestions might be. She alone will know if she's justified in using drugs, drinking and being merry, going out in a blaze of glory, as opposed to being more conservative, and extending her lifespan (potentially at the cost of her enjoyment).
But that's irrelevant, as the point of my post wasn't what you thought it was was. I was stating the self-evident truth that your plans are going to be different, depending on whether you believe you'll live 20 years, 10 or 2. In the latter case, for example, college or saving for retirement might not seem as high a priority, while in the former, fundraising for an impending lung transplant won't seem like a mission-critical use of your time.
But that's irrelevant, as the point of my post wasn't what you thought it was was. I was stating the self-evident truth that your plans are going to be different, depending on whether you believe you'll live 20 years, 10 or 2. In the latter case, for example, college or saving for retirement might not seem as high a priority, while in the former, fundraising for an impending lung transplant won't seem like a mission-critical use of your time.
tessa55454
New member
Hey Paul...
I totally I agree. You have to be heard, and share your thoughts, to have a voice. To have someone feel a little emphatetic, I think it's vital.
For many many years, I never really gave life a chance. I lived in denial, well..I didn't even know it was denial, that's denial. I fear, angered Cf more than anything. It didn't do anything positive for me. I did just enough to get by, to stay out of the hospital, but after time it my health was waving a big warning sign. I had a huge breakdown when I was almost 20, and you know, I decided to give life a bit of a chance. At that point, it sure didn't seem it could get any worse.
What I learned was, yes..you have to cry and say, I can't do all this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore, i am sick of this, I am tired. but, then you someone get energy again to move on. YOu have to loose it sometimes, when you cry that's when the wisdom comes in. It's unhealthy not to let it out. What I keep seeing is people not giving life a chance.
When I decided to let go of my anger, my pft's literally went up 15%-20% in a period of 3-4 months. My weight was better. After I decided to start taking care of my sugars more, why..amazingly I began to feel A LOT better. When I stopped trying to run in front of the game, my life became a lot clearer. I sometimes think that if I was to be born with a disease of some sort, that I have my brains. I am not mentally challenge I have heard so stories from people that don't have Cf, and I think..look how far they came from some strange and crazy situation. I am different, but not really, just details are.
What happens is overtime, if you don't give life a chance, you die. You had a life, and you never choose to live it, and now it's gone.
Tessa
I totally I agree. You have to be heard, and share your thoughts, to have a voice. To have someone feel a little emphatetic, I think it's vital.
For many many years, I never really gave life a chance. I lived in denial, well..I didn't even know it was denial, that's denial. I fear, angered Cf more than anything. It didn't do anything positive for me. I did just enough to get by, to stay out of the hospital, but after time it my health was waving a big warning sign. I had a huge breakdown when I was almost 20, and you know, I decided to give life a bit of a chance. At that point, it sure didn't seem it could get any worse.
What I learned was, yes..you have to cry and say, I can't do all this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore, i am sick of this, I am tired. but, then you someone get energy again to move on. YOu have to loose it sometimes, when you cry that's when the wisdom comes in. It's unhealthy not to let it out. What I keep seeing is people not giving life a chance.
When I decided to let go of my anger, my pft's literally went up 15%-20% in a period of 3-4 months. My weight was better. After I decided to start taking care of my sugars more, why..amazingly I began to feel A LOT better. When I stopped trying to run in front of the game, my life became a lot clearer. I sometimes think that if I was to be born with a disease of some sort, that I have my brains. I am not mentally challenge I have heard so stories from people that don't have Cf, and I think..look how far they came from some strange and crazy situation. I am different, but not really, just details are.
What happens is overtime, if you don't give life a chance, you die. You had a life, and you never choose to live it, and now it's gone.
Tessa
Thomastheinked
New member
<b>Yes</b> I do... I'm 20 cf scnce 6mnths and i fell alot like you describe. i too have made some wrong and right turns and feel like it doesnt even matter. I'm in the position of Really wanting to meet knew people yet fighting not to so i will hurt less people when i die. That's my worst fear i think...letting everyone down cause i found what i enjoyed and did what i could...I am by far dead but it already doesnt seem to matter.would the original writter of this please e-mail me!! Thomastheinked@hotmail.com
HI, Im 17 and I don't do my treatments religiously. I take all the tablets but I find it hard to physio and nebs. I do excercise though, regurlarly. I was just assesd for a transplant last week, luckily I don't need one just yet..but regardless of whether I was listed tomorrow or not, I plan to continue to carry on with my life as normal, ie, go to college etc. I believe if I was to drop everything just because I wouldnt be here next year, that <b>to me</b>would mean that cf had done what it always tries to do, take over your life..but thats my opinion. Some may argue that if you only have a year to live, do everything you always wanted to..
I'm sorry if my post was slightly irrelevant, but I just want you to know, that you're not alone, because not everyone does their treatments religiously.In some ways, I only do the ones that make me feel well, so I can lead a normal life. You have to be practical about it..Shamrock, x
I'm sorry if my post was slightly irrelevant, but I just want you to know, that you're not alone, because not everyone does their treatments religiously.In some ways, I only do the ones that make me feel well, so I can lead a normal life. You have to be practical about it..Shamrock, x
Thanks to everyone that's replied. Most of the time, my CF doesn't even cross my mind. while I'm walkin down the street or driving to my friends house I don't think to myself, will my CF kill me today? I live my life as if I didn't have this disease, and that's mostly why I'm living in denial. I want to be like everyone else! Life sux whether you have a disease or not, it just does! Nothing in my life has ever gone right for me! When things start looking up, something happens and my life is crap again. Death doesn't scare me. It's more the regret that I didn't do all the things in life that I wanted to do, or that your "supposed" to do. Get married and have kids. I'm not really in horrible health right now either which sort of delays the thought in my head that I'll ever die. I don't feel that I pity myself though either. I don't go around announcing the fact that I have CF. Though maybe I should cuz when I cough around most people they look at me like I'm an epidemic! I'm not really angry at CF, probably more just at life in general. Life sux! Freedom isn't free! I'm blessed to be living in the United States, but at the sametime, it sux! I went to see a movie yesterday and there was a police cop at the movies! WHY!? Can't we enjoy a peaceful movie without an officer there? I'm probably more a negative person towards life then CF. Eventually one of them is going to beat you and it's not your choice which one it's going to be no matter what you do!
Winace
I am glad that you do not feel negative about life now and i am very happy that you found someone to share your life with that has helped change your outlook on life. I just do not think that when someone is having a tough time in life that we should respond with negativity, I mean you said that just because you found someone doesn't mean that anyone else will have such luck. When someone is suicidal they really need positive influence, they are looking for help. I think that alot of times others just say things no matter how it will make others feel. Yes sometimes life is rough and there will always be opstacles to overcome but telling someone that life is not worth living when they are already feeling this way is just not right. Who is to say that maybe this person or other people will not only attempt suicide but succeed because they where looking for positive help and only found out that everyone or others feel the same way that they do and that maybe life really isn't worth living.! My life has not always been easy but i certainly would not say that it hasn't been worth living, I have had so many blessings. I think that all of us should sit back and count our blessings and not focus on the bad things that have happened or the challenges that everyone faces in life.
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I am glad that you do not feel negative about life now and i am very happy that you found someone to share your life with that has helped change your outlook on life. I just do not think that when someone is having a tough time in life that we should respond with negativity, I mean you said that just because you found someone doesn't mean that anyone else will have such luck. When someone is suicidal they really need positive influence, they are looking for help. I think that alot of times others just say things no matter how it will make others feel. Yes sometimes life is rough and there will always be opstacles to overcome but telling someone that life is not worth living when they are already feeling this way is just not right. Who is to say that maybe this person or other people will not only attempt suicide but succeed because they where looking for positive help and only found out that everyone or others feel the same way that they do and that maybe life really isn't worth living.! My life has not always been easy but i certainly would not say that it hasn't been worth living, I have had so many blessings. I think that all of us should sit back and count our blessings and not focus on the bad things that have happened or the challenges that everyone faces in life.
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
Emily65Roses
New member
Mind you, I didn't read the whole thread. Just the few posts between WinAce and KaitsMom. If someone is suicidal because they have weeks or months to live... and are only in pain, that's not being negative. That's being realistic.
To The original Poster,
I really hope you get the chance to read this cause when I read your topic I just had to reply. Let me just ask you, first off, HOW COULD YOU BE DOING THIS WITH YOUR BODY???? I mean I know depression can push you to do dumb things and all, but let me tell you my story. I grew up in a relatively happy home until about the age of 12, then everything for me went down hill. My dad got together with his brother's wife as creepy as that sounds and she turned out to be a crack, weed, ect.... attict. Well so eventually he ended up doing the same thing and even dealing. Well after a couple of years, me being a rebelious teenager and wanting to get out of the environment, I messed around with guys, went to parties and even tried drugs and alcohol. But I soon found out after really uncomfortable experiences THAT LIFE WAS NOT FOR ME. I finally got involved with this guy after my dad kicked me out of his LIFE at the age of 18 and he turned my life around. Well I shouldnt really say he did it, cause it was really my desision to turn my life around. Anyway, from the time my dad started his drug life till now I have had a habbit of not doing my meds on a regular basis. But about a year ago I made the really hard desision of becoming pregnant, and I did and I have a beautiful 7 month old little girl. I am healthier then I have ever been. My PFTs are in their 80s and my baby is perfectly healthy. Right now Im on my way to becoming a Vet Technician and am totally a happier person. The point is, I started down the path your on and quickly turned around based on my good judgements.
Well anyway, I hope some of this provides you with some inspiration to do better for yourself. You can email me anytime at Vickysmommy1@aol.com or if your on aol, you can IM me
I really hope you get the chance to read this cause when I read your topic I just had to reply. Let me just ask you, first off, HOW COULD YOU BE DOING THIS WITH YOUR BODY???? I mean I know depression can push you to do dumb things and all, but let me tell you my story. I grew up in a relatively happy home until about the age of 12, then everything for me went down hill. My dad got together with his brother's wife as creepy as that sounds and she turned out to be a crack, weed, ect.... attict. Well so eventually he ended up doing the same thing and even dealing. Well after a couple of years, me being a rebelious teenager and wanting to get out of the environment, I messed around with guys, went to parties and even tried drugs and alcohol. But I soon found out after really uncomfortable experiences THAT LIFE WAS NOT FOR ME. I finally got involved with this guy after my dad kicked me out of his LIFE at the age of 18 and he turned my life around. Well I shouldnt really say he did it, cause it was really my desision to turn my life around. Anyway, from the time my dad started his drug life till now I have had a habbit of not doing my meds on a regular basis. But about a year ago I made the really hard desision of becoming pregnant, and I did and I have a beautiful 7 month old little girl. I am healthier then I have ever been. My PFTs are in their 80s and my baby is perfectly healthy. Right now Im on my way to becoming a Vet Technician and am totally a happier person. The point is, I started down the path your on and quickly turned around based on my good judgements.
Well anyway, I hope some of this provides you with some inspiration to do better for yourself. You can email me anytime at Vickysmommy1@aol.com or if your on aol, you can IM me
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>Winace
Yes sometimes life is rough and there will always be opstacles to overcome but telling someone that life is not worth living when they are already feeling this way is just not right.<hr></blockquote>
I didn't. I <i>asked</i> if it was sufficiently worth living for her to take efforts--likely non-trivial ones--to turn her life around. Hopefully, she'll find something redeeming in this little experience, but who can guarantee it? Whether any particular life is worth living is really up to the individual in question, so only they can decide if they want to go on, or not bother managing a chronic illness. Given the circumstances of CF, I strongly feel that either choice <i>can</i> be defended as perfectly rational, and no one should be condemned or lectured (like the previous poster's done) for taking the path of least resistance, or most enjoyment. No, just because you <i>did</i> survive due to choices you made, or got really lucky (like me), doesn't mean anyone else will, and pretending otherwise is not being entirely honest with ourselves. There <i>is</i> such a thing as no happy endings, so for some people, acknowledging that and getting the most out of the fairy tale itself, until it turns into a <i>Tale from the Crypt</i>, will make the most sense.
Yes sometimes life is rough and there will always be opstacles to overcome but telling someone that life is not worth living when they are already feeling this way is just not right.<hr></blockquote>
I didn't. I <i>asked</i> if it was sufficiently worth living for her to take efforts--likely non-trivial ones--to turn her life around. Hopefully, she'll find something redeeming in this little experience, but who can guarantee it? Whether any particular life is worth living is really up to the individual in question, so only they can decide if they want to go on, or not bother managing a chronic illness. Given the circumstances of CF, I strongly feel that either choice <i>can</i> be defended as perfectly rational, and no one should be condemned or lectured (like the previous poster's done) for taking the path of least resistance, or most enjoyment. No, just because you <i>did</i> survive due to choices you made, or got really lucky (like me), doesn't mean anyone else will, and pretending otherwise is not being entirely honest with ourselves. There <i>is</i> such a thing as no happy endings, so for some people, acknowledging that and getting the most out of the fairy tale itself, until it turns into a <i>Tale from the Crypt</i>, will make the most sense.