Living with someone with CF / Transplant

Dizzymd123 · Mar 1, 2009

I have a girlfriend i have been dating for over a year now. not like this is the first time this has happend but i think she really doesnt understand one main important thing in my life. Everyone who has ever been in my life wants to stay close and in contact. therefore i have alot of ex's and an ex wife that want to visit or talk to me. mostly during my hardest times to show thier support. she cant stand it!!!! lately i just received a double lung transplant as of jan 18th far im doing ok. she works nights as a nurse 7pm-7am. when she is home it seems she wants me all to herself. so when she leave my friends come over. discussing who came over is always a guaranteed fight. how do you explain to someone how important it is to have alot of people who love and support you in their life when you have such a horrible disease? i may be dragging on here. except we had a fight the other day where i actually thought i was going to die. couldnt breathe, my chest got tight, it was the worst feeling. then to top it off she told me i had to move out. im only one month post transplant. i dont need this stress. what advice do you have for me?

btw im also starting a website called livingaftertransplant.com its currently down right now. it will be a site where i will invite cf couples or patients to come blog with me and share our stories. ran by a true cf'r <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ME!! i am so bored with these 6 months off. its driving me nuts,

if you are interested in bloggin on my site when i get it done in the next few days i would love it.. email me at dizzymd123@yahoo.com

you can visit my actual journey at rickysjourney.com

Thanks
Ricky

Dizzymd123 · Mar 1, 2009

I have a girlfriend i have been dating for over a year now. not like this is the first time this has happend but i think she really doesnt understand one main important thing in my life. Everyone who has ever been in my life wants to stay close and in contact. therefore i have alot of ex's and an ex wife that want to visit or talk to me. mostly during my hardest times to show thier support. she cant stand it!!!! lately i just received a double lung transplant as of jan 18th far im doing ok. she works nights as a nurse 7pm-7am. when she is home it seems she wants me all to herself. so when she leave my friends come over. discussing who came over is always a guaranteed fight. how do you explain to someone how important it is to have alot of people who love and support you in their life when you have such a horrible disease? i may be dragging on here. except we had a fight the other day where i actually thought i was going to die. couldnt breathe, my chest got tight, it was the worst feeling. then to top it off she told me i had to move out. im only one month post transplant. i dont need this stress. what advice do you have for me?

btw im also starting a website called livingaftertransplant.com its currently down right now. it will be a site where i will invite cf couples or patients to come blog with me and share our stories. ran by a true cf'r <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ME!! i am so bored with these 6 months off. its driving me nuts,

if you are interested in bloggin on my site when i get it done in the next few days i would love it.. email me at dizzymd123@yahoo.com

you can visit my actual journey at rickysjourney.com

Thanks
Ricky

Dizzymd123 · Mar 1, 2009

I have a girlfriend i have been dating for over a year now. not like this is the first time this has happend but i think she really doesnt understand one main important thing in my life. Everyone who has ever been in my life wants to stay close and in contact. therefore i have alot of ex's and an ex wife that want to visit or talk to me. mostly during my hardest times to show thier support. she cant stand it!!!! lately i just received a double lung transplant as of jan 18th far im doing ok. she works nights as a nurse 7pm-7am. when she is home it seems she wants me all to herself. so when she leave my friends come over. discussing who came over is always a guaranteed fight. how do you explain to someone how important it is to have alot of people who love and support you in their life when you have such a horrible disease? i may be dragging on here. except we had a fight the other day where i actually thought i was going to die. couldnt breathe, my chest got tight, it was the worst feeling. then to top it off she told me i had to move out. im only one month post transplant. i dont need this stress. what advice do you have for me?

btw im also starting a website called livingaftertransplant.com its currently down right now. it will be a site where i will invite cf couples or patients to come blog with me and share our stories. ran by a true cf'r <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ME!! i am so bored with these 6 months off. its driving me nuts,

if you are interested in bloggin on my site when i get it done in the next few days i would love it.. email me at dizzymd123@yahoo.com

you can visit my actual journey at rickysjourney.com

Thanks
Ricky

Dizzymd123 · Mar 1, 2009

I have a girlfriend i have been dating for over a year now. not like this is the first time this has happend but i think she really doesnt understand one main important thing in my life. Everyone who has ever been in my life wants to stay close and in contact. therefore i have alot of ex's and an ex wife that want to visit or talk to me. mostly during my hardest times to show thier support. she cant stand it!!!! lately i just received a double lung transplant as of jan 18th far im doing ok. she works nights as a nurse 7pm-7am. when she is home it seems she wants me all to herself. so when she leave my friends come over. discussing who came over is always a guaranteed fight. how do you explain to someone how important it is to have alot of people who love and support you in their life when you have such a horrible disease? i may be dragging on here. except we had a fight the other day where i actually thought i was going to die. couldnt breathe, my chest got tight, it was the worst feeling. then to top it off she told me i had to move out. im only one month post transplant. i dont need this stress. what advice do you have for me?

btw im also starting a website called livingaftertransplant.com its currently down right now. it will be a site where i will invite cf couples or patients to come blog with me and share our stories. ran by a true cf'r <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ME!! i am so bored with these 6 months off. its driving me nuts,

if you are interested in bloggin on my site when i get it done in the next few days i would love it.. email me at dizzymd123@yahoo.com

you can visit my actual journey at rickysjourney.com

Thanks
Ricky

Dizzymd123 · Mar 1, 2009

I have a girlfriend i have been dating for over a year now. not like this is the first time this has happend but i think she really doesnt understand one main important thing in my life. Everyone who has ever been in my life wants to stay close and in contact. therefore i have alot of ex's and an ex wife that want to visit or talk to me. mostly during my hardest times to show thier support. she cant stand it!!!! lately i just received a double lung transplant as of jan 18th far im doing ok. she works nights as a nurse 7pm-7am. when she is home it seems she wants me all to herself. so when she leave my friends come over. discussing who came over is always a guaranteed fight. how do you explain to someone how important it is to have alot of people who love and support you in their life when you have such a horrible disease? i may be dragging on here. except we had a fight the other day where i actually thought i was going to die. couldnt breathe, my chest got tight, it was the worst feeling. then to top it off she told me i had to move out. im only one month post transplant. i dont need this stress. what advice do you have for me?
 
 btw im also starting a website called livingaftertransplant.com its currently down right now. it will be a site where i will invite cf couples or patients to come blog with me and share our stories. ran by a true cf'r <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> ME!! i am so bored with these 6 months off. its driving me nuts,
 
 if you are interested in bloggin on my site when i get it done in the next few days i would love it.. email me at dizzymd123@yahoo.com
 
 you can visit my actual journey at rickysjourney.com
 
 Thanks
 Ricky

Transplantmommy · Mar 1, 2009

Ricky....As a CFer I know what the stress can do to someone and it's not good for you, especially so shortly after transplant. She needs to realize that you will stay in contact with many people for many years to come! I have one ex-boyfriend and a couple of really close guy friends that I stay in touch with and my husband has no problems with it because he understands that all of these people care about me and want to know what happens. This was all part of my HUGE support group when I got the transplants and it really helped me recover faster.

Maybe you should have her read what you wrote on here to see if that gets her attention as to what she's doing? You definitely need at least one person helping you out if she's not there. My Mom lived with me for 6 months post transplant and if she couldn't be here during the day, a friend of mine would come over and check on me to make sure that I was doing all right. Then again, I had a baby to take care of too.

I hope that things work out for you soon. You really DO NOT need that when you are trying to heal.

Transplantmommy · Mar 1, 2009

Ricky....As a CFer I know what the stress can do to someone and it's not good for you, especially so shortly after transplant. She needs to realize that you will stay in contact with many people for many years to come! I have one ex-boyfriend and a couple of really close guy friends that I stay in touch with and my husband has no problems with it because he understands that all of these people care about me and want to know what happens. This was all part of my HUGE support group when I got the transplants and it really helped me recover faster.

Maybe you should have her read what you wrote on here to see if that gets her attention as to what she's doing? You definitely need at least one person helping you out if she's not there. My Mom lived with me for 6 months post transplant and if she couldn't be here during the day, a friend of mine would come over and check on me to make sure that I was doing all right. Then again, I had a baby to take care of too.

I hope that things work out for you soon. You really DO NOT need that when you are trying to heal.

Transplantmommy · Mar 1, 2009

Ricky....As a CFer I know what the stress can do to someone and it's not good for you, especially so shortly after transplant. She needs to realize that you will stay in contact with many people for many years to come! I have one ex-boyfriend and a couple of really close guy friends that I stay in touch with and my husband has no problems with it because he understands that all of these people care about me and want to know what happens. This was all part of my HUGE support group when I got the transplants and it really helped me recover faster.

Maybe you should have her read what you wrote on here to see if that gets her attention as to what she's doing? You definitely need at least one person helping you out if she's not there. My Mom lived with me for 6 months post transplant and if she couldn't be here during the day, a friend of mine would come over and check on me to make sure that I was doing all right. Then again, I had a baby to take care of too.

I hope that things work out for you soon. You really DO NOT need that when you are trying to heal.

Transplantmommy · Mar 1, 2009

Ricky....As a CFer I know what the stress can do to someone and it's not good for you, especially so shortly after transplant. She needs to realize that you will stay in contact with many people for many years to come! I have one ex-boyfriend and a couple of really close guy friends that I stay in touch with and my husband has no problems with it because he understands that all of these people care about me and want to know what happens. This was all part of my HUGE support group when I got the transplants and it really helped me recover faster.

Maybe you should have her read what you wrote on here to see if that gets her attention as to what she's doing? You definitely need at least one person helping you out if she's not there. My Mom lived with me for 6 months post transplant and if she couldn't be here during the day, a friend of mine would come over and check on me to make sure that I was doing all right. Then again, I had a baby to take care of too.

I hope that things work out for you soon. You really DO NOT need that when you are trying to heal.

Transplantmommy · Mar 1, 2009

Ricky....As a CFer I know what the stress can do to someone and it's not good for you, especially so shortly after transplant. She needs to realize that you will stay in contact with many people for many years to come! I have one ex-boyfriend and a couple of really close guy friends that I stay in touch with and my husband has no problems with it because he understands that all of these people care about me and want to know what happens. This was all part of my HUGE support group when I got the transplants and it really helped me recover faster.
 
 Maybe you should have her read what you wrote on here to see if that gets her attention as to what she's doing? You definitely need at least one person helping you out if she's not there. My Mom lived with me for 6 months post transplant and if she couldn't be here during the day, a friend of mine would come over and check on me to make sure that I was doing all right. Then again, I had a baby to take care of too.
 
 I hope that things work out for you soon. You really DO NOT need that when you are trying to heal.

coltsfan715 · Mar 1, 2009

Unfortunately I think this can be a girl thing. I had an issue with this and my boyfriend pre transplant. I am the one that has CF he does not but for me I was having issues with the number of girls he hung out with. It took a while for us to get past it but we did and we are still together and stronger for it.

I will add though - we kind of have an agreement. We tell each other everything. Well most everything - everything that is important. We figure if we can tell the other person about it with no guilt feeling then we are not doing anything wrong. So when he comes to me and makes a comment about going out with our friends "mary and elisa" (seriously not real names) then I am fine with that because in my mind if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do then he wouldn't tell me about it and vice versa.

All I can say too is IF she can't get a grip as much as it may hurt you need to get away from her for the time being at least until you have more fully recovered. I will admit it WILL suck and I don't know what I would have done if I had gone through this in my post transplant time but you do NOT need the stress as you have already said.

And you were most likely having an anxiety attack the other night - they can make you feel like you are going to die. Like you can't breathe and your chest gets so tight it hurts, you almost pant at times cause you breathe so hard and fast.

I hope that things work out and she can understand where you are coming from - I would maybe just try telling her what you wrote here and if she doesn't understand it is because she has some of her own self confidence issues she needs to work through.

Take Care,
Lindsey

coltsfan715 · Mar 1, 2009

Unfortunately I think this can be a girl thing. I had an issue with this and my boyfriend pre transplant. I am the one that has CF he does not but for me I was having issues with the number of girls he hung out with. It took a while for us to get past it but we did and we are still together and stronger for it.

I will add though - we kind of have an agreement. We tell each other everything. Well most everything - everything that is important. We figure if we can tell the other person about it with no guilt feeling then we are not doing anything wrong. So when he comes to me and makes a comment about going out with our friends "mary and elisa" (seriously not real names) then I am fine with that because in my mind if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do then he wouldn't tell me about it and vice versa.

All I can say too is IF she can't get a grip as much as it may hurt you need to get away from her for the time being at least until you have more fully recovered. I will admit it WILL suck and I don't know what I would have done if I had gone through this in my post transplant time but you do NOT need the stress as you have already said.

And you were most likely having an anxiety attack the other night - they can make you feel like you are going to die. Like you can't breathe and your chest gets so tight it hurts, you almost pant at times cause you breathe so hard and fast.

I hope that things work out and she can understand where you are coming from - I would maybe just try telling her what you wrote here and if she doesn't understand it is because she has some of her own self confidence issues she needs to work through.

Take Care,
Lindsey

coltsfan715 · Mar 1, 2009

Unfortunately I think this can be a girl thing. I had an issue with this and my boyfriend pre transplant. I am the one that has CF he does not but for me I was having issues with the number of girls he hung out with. It took a while for us to get past it but we did and we are still together and stronger for it.

I will add though - we kind of have an agreement. We tell each other everything. Well most everything - everything that is important. We figure if we can tell the other person about it with no guilt feeling then we are not doing anything wrong. So when he comes to me and makes a comment about going out with our friends "mary and elisa" (seriously not real names) then I am fine with that because in my mind if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do then he wouldn't tell me about it and vice versa.

All I can say too is IF she can't get a grip as much as it may hurt you need to get away from her for the time being at least until you have more fully recovered. I will admit it WILL suck and I don't know what I would have done if I had gone through this in my post transplant time but you do NOT need the stress as you have already said.

And you were most likely having an anxiety attack the other night - they can make you feel like you are going to die. Like you can't breathe and your chest gets so tight it hurts, you almost pant at times cause you breathe so hard and fast.

I hope that things work out and she can understand where you are coming from - I would maybe just try telling her what you wrote here and if she doesn't understand it is because she has some of her own self confidence issues she needs to work through.

Take Care,
Lindsey

coltsfan715 · Mar 1, 2009

Unfortunately I think this can be a girl thing. I had an issue with this and my boyfriend pre transplant. I am the one that has CF he does not but for me I was having issues with the number of girls he hung out with. It took a while for us to get past it but we did and we are still together and stronger for it.

I will add though - we kind of have an agreement. We tell each other everything. Well most everything - everything that is important. We figure if we can tell the other person about it with no guilt feeling then we are not doing anything wrong. So when he comes to me and makes a comment about going out with our friends "mary and elisa" (seriously not real names) then I am fine with that because in my mind if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do then he wouldn't tell me about it and vice versa.

All I can say too is IF she can't get a grip as much as it may hurt you need to get away from her for the time being at least until you have more fully recovered. I will admit it WILL suck and I don't know what I would have done if I had gone through this in my post transplant time but you do NOT need the stress as you have already said.

And you were most likely having an anxiety attack the other night - they can make you feel like you are going to die. Like you can't breathe and your chest gets so tight it hurts, you almost pant at times cause you breathe so hard and fast.

I hope that things work out and she can understand where you are coming from - I would maybe just try telling her what you wrote here and if she doesn't understand it is because she has some of her own self confidence issues she needs to work through.

Take Care,
Lindsey

coltsfan715 · Mar 1, 2009

Unfortunately I think this can be a girl thing. I had an issue with this and my boyfriend pre transplant. I am the one that has CF he does not but for me I was having issues with the number of girls he hung out with. It took a while for us to get past it but we did and we are still together and stronger for it.
 
 I will add though - we kind of have an agreement. We tell each other everything. Well most everything - everything that is important. We figure if we can tell the other person about it with no guilt feeling then we are not doing anything wrong. So when he comes to me and makes a comment about going out with our friends "mary and elisa" (seriously not real names) then I am fine with that because in my mind if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to do then he wouldn't tell me about it and vice versa.
 
 All I can say too is IF she can't get a grip as much as it may hurt you need to get away from her for the time being at least until you have more fully recovered. I will admit it WILL suck and I don't know what I would have done if I had gone through this in my post transplant time but you do NOT need the stress as you have already said.
 
 And you were most likely having an anxiety attack the other night - they can make you feel like you are going to die. Like you can't breathe and your chest gets so tight it hurts, you almost pant at times cause you breathe so hard and fast.
 
 I hope that things work out and she can understand where you are coming from - I would maybe just try telling her what you wrote here and if she doesn't understand it is because she has some of her own self confidence issues she needs to work through.
 
 Take Care,
 Lindsey

gingerkid88 · Mar 4, 2009

my boy friend has cf so i know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care including ex's. i know being a female at times it can be hard to understand, but she needs to relieze that what you have is crappy and she cant be selfish. the best thing she can do is be there for you no matter what. i do have questions about the whole trandplant thing can you help me with that?

gingerkid88 · Mar 4, 2009

my boy friend has cf so i know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care including ex's. i know being a female at times it can be hard to understand, but she needs to relieze that what you have is crappy and she cant be selfish. the best thing she can do is be there for you no matter what. i do have questions about the whole trandplant thing can you help me with that?

gingerkid88 · Mar 4, 2009

my boy friend has cf so i know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care including ex's. i know being a female at times it can be hard to understand, but she needs to relieze that what you have is crappy and she cant be selfish. the best thing she can do is be there for you no matter what. i do have questions about the whole trandplant thing can you help me with that?

gingerkid88 · Mar 4, 2009

my boy friend has cf so i know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care including ex's. i know being a female at times it can be hard to understand, but she needs to relieze that what you have is crappy and she cant be selfish. the best thing she can do is be there for you no matter what. i do have questions about the whole trandplant thing can you help me with that?

gingerkid88 · Mar 4, 2009

my boy friend has cf so i know how important it is to be surrounded by people who care including ex's. i know being a female at times it can be hard to understand, but she needs to relieze that what you have is crappy and she cant be selfish. the best thing she can do is be there for you no matter what. i do have questions about the whole trandplant thing can you help me with that?

Living with someone with CF / Transplant

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