This is not something I normally do, but I felt that it may be the best place to get some answers and maybe some advice. I've been seeing someone since June and he told me just before Thanksgiving that he has CF. When he told me, I had to admit that I didn't know much about the illness. He told me a little and I researched the rest on my own. We are both in college, he is finishing his BA in May and I'll hopefully be done with my MA in December. I love him very much, but this is new to me. When I learned the full extent of the illness, I was very emotional, but until last night, I really hadn't shown this to him. I thought that if he wanted to talk, I'd let him and that I wouldn't press because it was something he's dealt with for 6 years now. He was just recently told that pseudomona (sp.??) was found in his lungs, a bacteria. He has started new meds and in our talk last night, which I will say stemmed from a sort of "lover's spat," I heard the fear for the first time in his voice. He knows that this is the worst he's ever been, and while his everyday life has not changed, he has something serious to deal with. I've had trouble getting him to open up and have often wondered if it's because he fears getting too close to me. I know that when it comes to the CF he wants to deal with it on his own, and sometimes I feel like he's only hurting himself by not confiding in me. This is all so new to me and I'm scared too. The thought that if this works I have to be aware that our life may be cut short and that children of our own is questionable. It brings such a new prespective that I had not considered before. If anyone could maybe guide me, I'd be very appreciative.
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Looking for Some Advice
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
First off how bad is you b/f pseudomonous infection? I'm a 19 yr old male and I usually am put on a few weeks meds and if it gets bad I am put into the hospital for about 2 weeks for IV antibiotics. I realize that at the age he is and learning about an infection he knows little about with an adult lifestyle I'm guessing it would be frightening. Pseudo is one of the most common CF bacterial infections aside from Staph, which I have on a regular basis which if inflamed is treated usually with oral antibiotics. Pseudo for me and probably many other CF patients is like a cold and if caught early enough, telling your doctor when you start to have an increased cough and mucus changes color, it can be about as troublesome as a cold, physically. As I said before about the mucus color whenever your b/f coughs some up make sure there is not a large change in the color. Staph is usually yellow colred while psuedo is a range of greens. My usual sputum, mucus, is a yellowish-green color. Psuedo is not serious if you are the one to take the reigns of control from it, it is an infection that left unchecked can grow and become a rather devestating infection. If you keep on top of the disease, which I know is not always easy and yes your b/f may get a harder hitting infection down the road that can be more damaging than Pseudo, you and your b/f can live a long and fruitful life together. Now for the question about your children. About 90-95 % of CF males are sterile due to the mutation of the CF gene. He may be one of these lucky 5-10% of males, unlike myself, who can have fertile sperm. If he does then there is a 1 in 4 chance that your child will have CF. If you fear that the child may get CF then I would look at adoption if you two get that far in your relationship. It will be win/win situation for both parties. The child will have a loving home and the parents will have a child to raise and not worry about the child having CF.Wishing you both the best of luck,Charles Farrell19/CF/Tampa, FL
I was very open with my ex about me having CF, I think I told her on our first date. She asked a few questions I told her the answers. It only was ever an "issue" when we found out that I was shootin blanks. She was bummed, I didnt care. We had a few break down and cry together sessions. I'm glad that I could tell her what was going on, I'm glad she asked questions. So find out what is going on, go to dr. visits, help him with all of it. Good luck.
Re: Charles from Tampa-The color of one's mucus is more indicative of how badly infected a person is, and how that person responds to treatment. Clear to white means you're clear of infection, yellow means that you've found active infection while green means you're trailing it. Ever notice how when you're getting treated, it goes from green to yellow to white?Regarding the fertility issue: It's impossible to know the odds of having a child with cf unless both parents have been identified as carriers of the gene for cf. If two carriers of the gene have kids, their chances of having a child with cf are 25%. If one of the parents actually has cf, those odds double. If one of the parents is not a carrier of the gene, than it cannot be passed on.To the woman who originally posted: Learn as much about cf as you can. When you approach the b/f about perhaps going with him when he sees the doc, remind him that this isn't just 'his' illness, but both of yours bc you both are affected by it. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt when I became too sick to work, then my wife reminded me that this was not a me thing, but an us thing. She also reminded me that she knew what she was getting into when she married me. Learn as much as you can, that mightalleviate some of the anxiety of not knowing about it.Just my two bits-Wes
Hi i am going to keep this as simple as I possible can, My boe, has cf and is 22. I met him 2 months ago. This site is so wonderful it has helped me out soooo much!! My boe goes throu serious depression, he says haveing me around helps him feel like he can wake up every morning, and do all of his treatments, and keep on living. All because i care so much and because we had made such a connection so quickly! He still will not let me watch or be around when he is doing his treatments. And i have to respect that, having me around has helped his self esteem so much, and i love him so much for it. In all truth anyone who has cf neededs someone else around to support that person. You love that person for who they are not what they have!!Loving girlfriend22 w/o cfBoyfriend who does<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">