Looking for some support/info on finding gainful employment

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I'm fighting m. abcessus and m. avium lung infections with IV/oral antibiotics going on 8 months now. I just graduated college last August with a BS in Kinesiology (so ***** useless) now Im buried in debt and my bank couldn't care less. I'm too healthy for SSI/SSDI but my job doesn't even come close to paying the bills. I'd love to find gainful employment and support myself and pay off my loans but that task feels impossible. I'm in a lot better position than a lot of other cf'ers but I cant help but feel like a failure.
I have no idea what direction I want to go in. Do I go back to school? Should I attempt to work full time? I have my BS in Kine and I've got 2 years part time managing at a childrens gymnastics gym. I feel like that qualifies me for...absolutely nothing. Any support/information on what direction I could take in life would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading, I'm usually a lot more positive but sometimes I have trouble believing in myself.
<strong>TL;DR</strong> I'm venting. I hate myself and I hate CF. Some support/information would be great.

 

[Aboveallislove]

I am really sorry for what you are facing. You not just feel sick, you are worried and that has to make all the "normal" CF stuff suck even more.

A few ideas for what they are worth:
1) Maybe contact your undergrad school's "Financial Aid Office" and ask for help learning how to get a "deferral" for your student loans. Given that you say the "bank couldn't care less" I take it it is not yet deferred and the banks are hounding you. There are typically several options for deferral (medical, loss of job/no job, etc.)
2) Contact your undergrad's placement office and schedule a phone call with a counselor on job opportunities and have them help you craft a plan for looking
3) Either with the placement office or an employment agency, discuss who IS HIRING. And make that your traget for any additional education. I do not mean this toward you--it is unfortunately uniform for college students--they study what they like but don't necessarily consider if it will leave them employable. Yes, college should give you a "liberal arts" education, but you can have that and also marketable skills. Again, this is not geared toward you--MOST college students are in the same boat. So, after you get an idea of who is hiring, then see if you can find a quick, cheeper grad program. My gut is that IT is the way to go--computer technology is in high demand (search usa.gov to see as an example. AND that job would be great for meeting your health needs as well.)

I'm not sure if any of this helps, but feel free to PM if you want to think through other options. Or just vent away--we all need that from time to time. And no reason to hate yourself--you made it through college with all the challenges of CF. That is a huge deal and you should never forget that, while you figure out how this all fits together.
Godspeed

 

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My banks put me on "forebearance." My interest continues to accrue but I dont have to pay for a few months. Unfortunately, in the end I'll end up having to pay a few more years of payments to make up for my forebearance. They wont even discuss deferring my payments unless I was declared "permanently disabled" which AFAIK is different than qualifying for SSDI.

I'm going to contact the Bureau of Rehabilitation and see if they can't point me in the right direction. I'd love to go back to school and get involved with IT/computer science. The jobs that come with the field are perfect for CF, as isolated as I need to be and flexible hours not requiring hard labor/exposure. Given a chance I've always been quite good at anything I've put my mind too but CF has constantly thrown me off my game. I narrowly survived abcessus and avium and I've got a second chance at being healthy and happy (who knows how long) and I'm ready to live my life and not let my fear hold me back.