I have been living with cystic fibrosis and cystic firbosis related diabetes for most of my life (I got diabetes when I was 13). You think I would be used to dealing with all of the medical stuff by now but for some reason it only seems to get harder. I got a transplant two years ago and I thought that would make everything better but it only seems to have gotten worse, especially the depression. The depression is chocking the life out of me and I don't know what to do. I feel lonely all the time, I feel nervous and worried all the time and I never want to get out of bed. The world seems to big and to scary and my responsibilities are too heavy on my shoulders. I feel like I am going crazy, I feel like I can't do anything for myself anymore. I am too dependent upon my boyfriend and he just wants his independence. I sit alone in my room at night while he is at work and I just wait. I take niquil to put myself to sleep just so sleep can come quicker because being awake is just too painful. I see a psychologist which helps but that is only for an hour then its over. I just feel alone, how do I get over this pain, how can I be happy again. I just want to smile, I want to be okay, I want to get out of my head for only a moment and just have some peace. I am looking for some su[pport and love right now, feeling pathetic in doing so but I'm at my wits end.
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Lost and Lonely
- Thread starter baco623
- Start date
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPW3EB5U0bo Please go watch. If the link doesn't work, look up Rick Warren on Oprah on Youtube.
The one thing that worked for me was anti depressants. I was also depressed and felt everything that you described and didn't think that I could feel ok again (all common feelings when we're depressed) but I do. I take Zoloft 50. Have you ever looked into that?
You mention you see a psychologist. I was seeing one too for about a year before starting on the pills but it didn't really help. On the contrary, I had to deal with all the negative feelings that we were digging out with the pessimism of a depressed person.
You mention you got a transplant. Hasn't your life improved in a way that would make you want to live?
I'm just curious because I would imagine that with a new set of lungs, and after the intense rehabilitation period, one would gain an immense thirst for living.
You mention you see a psychologist. I was seeing one too for about a year before starting on the pills but it didn't really help. On the contrary, I had to deal with all the negative feelings that we were digging out with the pessimism of a depressed person.
You mention you got a transplant. Hasn't your life improved in a way that would make you want to live?
I'm just curious because I would imagine that with a new set of lungs, and after the intense rehabilitation period, one would gain an immense thirst for living.
azdesertrat
New member
I'm sorry you're having so much pain.
I had my transplant back in '05 & like you, I thought everything was going to be fantastic.
Well, the one thing the doctors & Transplant Coordinator neglected to tell me about was all of the side-effects.
I never was diabetic until post-trans.
Because of this, & other problems that arose post-trans, I've been unable to work. Work was a huge part of my life & the hole left there has yet to be filled. I suffered from depression like you.
I guess the only way I kicked that was to just get out & do SOMETHING. It takes soooo much willpower & I fail sometimes still.
If you want to, I'll give you my e-mail address so we can communicate. If I can be of any help, I'll be glad to try.
Take care & may God bless & be with you....
I had my transplant back in '05 & like you, I thought everything was going to be fantastic.
Well, the one thing the doctors & Transplant Coordinator neglected to tell me about was all of the side-effects.
I never was diabetic until post-trans.
Because of this, & other problems that arose post-trans, I've been unable to work. Work was a huge part of my life & the hole left there has yet to be filled. I suffered from depression like you.
I guess the only way I kicked that was to just get out & do SOMETHING. It takes soooo much willpower & I fail sometimes still.
If you want to, I'll give you my e-mail address so we can communicate. If I can be of any help, I'll be glad to try.
Take care & may God bless & be with you....
I am so sorry that you are hurting. I personally know what it feels like to be so sad and lonely and to feel like there is noone out there who loves me or understands. I am telling u though that there are people who love you and care deeply about you. I don't know you or what you believe but God helped me thru my craziness and pain. I opened the Bible, started reading and all the answers I needed were there. I started going back to Church and my eyes opened to those people that really cared about me. 1 Peter talks about the trials we suffer here on earth but they are not eternal. I will be praying for you and hope your situation will change. God Bless.
BraxtonAcheson96
New member
I get through every day life by music. Some find religion but personally I enjoy music more. And you, as a person with cf, and all others who have it shouldn't feel down and depressed because it was not your choice or any of our choices that put us in this situation. Everyone who has CF and those around them need to keep fighting, because that is what makes you and all of us better than everyone, we have to fight CF every day. Making everyone associated with CF stronger than an every day healthy person.
Keep looking up!
Keep looking up!
Dont be afraid, fear is preventing you from enjoying life. Fear of what is the question. Face your fears, be social, strip away the social stigma that comes with being sick. feel awkward and make others feel awkward. Dont let your fear of other peoples judgments prevent you from living your life. I have CF. Sometimes its hard for me to leave the house but I do. The world is beautiful. Whoever you are, you are beautiful. Turn the love you have for others inwards and treat yourself like youre your own best friend. If you are looking for an outward expression, look into qigong. It has helped me so much. Slow breathing, meditation, slow movements. Its perfect for us. Flowingzen.com. Sign up, and do the suggestions on there. "Free stuff"