I have a question, problem, concern, need help... My husband is a 24yo, fairly healthy at this time with CF. But the man is extremely and totally opposed to a lung transplant, or any transplant. We have known eachother and been together for 5 years, and have been married for just over 2. He told me his feelings on a transplant for himself years ago, that he was opposed to it, didn't want anything artificial in his body and that if it was his time, then he didn't want interventions. Now, I always kind of figured maybe that would change when we got married, maybe it would changed when we started talking about kids (and we are on a waiting list for an invetro-ICSI procedure in 9 months). But it hasn't. I told him that I know it's not fair of me to hope he changes his mind, but I also think he is being selfish and thinkig only of himself. I told him that the decision he made years ago, before he ever thought he would live past 18, before he ever thought he would get married, before he even thought there was a possibility of having his own kids; is outdated and I have pleaded with him to reconsider the decision. Not to necessarily change his mind in this instant, but that it is ok for him to think of his wife, and if we have kids, to think of his kids when he makes such a decision. Not to base everything just on what is good just for him anymore-that he has other people in his life that he should consider. And if in the end of all that thinking and reconsidering, he comes to the same conclusion- that is ok, but I feel like his lack of even wanting to reconsider is a reflection of how he values our relationship.
We have a good relationship, some of the typical disagreements, money, time, work...but we love eachother and have always been there for eachother and I know I would do anything for him, and he says he would do anything for me, but I feel like saying "ovbioulsy not". We spend our free days together and enjoy being in eachothers company. so I just don't understand why he won't even take the time to reconsider a decision he made a long time ago-that is in my opinion "outdated".
Is there anyone else out there who has had a similar situation like this, that can help me. I don't know if there is a different way I can approach this with him, how to make him understand that he makes me feel like crap when he says he decided long ago and it's not going to change. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do. I am taking it so seriously it's killing me.
Thanks
Julie