Marriage and more.....

[missmem]

Hello all,I have come accross this website searching for a way to communicate, ask questions, receive answers and in general find a group of CF supporters. I am engaged to a wonderful man, who is 29 with CF. I am fortunate to be in the medical field, and be able to have both the medical perspective and personally involved perspective. My fiance' has bouts of Hemoptysis and other challenges that come from having CF. Like so many of you have mentioned about possibly losing benefits in being married. I would like some advice in what is the best thing to do under these circumstances? Does anyone have any advice on housing benefits? Also job ideas for him, as he would like to work when he feels good, but I think he feels guilty because he cannot be considered " dependable" when he gets sick. We are very happy in our relationship together, but we want to do what is best for his health. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am so grateful to have found a site that has a blend of warm individuals all seeking to help each other out. Thank youmm

 

[Drea]

I can't really give advice on the concerns you have with loosing the benefits that your fiance has but I have a suggestion for work. What about transcription. If he can type and has patience, it might be a good job for him and he can do it from home. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">good luckAndrea

 

[anonymous]

I don't know about jobs but maybe a part time job would work. I think if you are employed as disabled or something they have to let you off work for your dr. appts and when you are sick by law without discrimenating. Also with houseing benefits there are lots of programs that help with finding housing for yourself. But it is usually for owning the home. We just bought a home with a loan from the USDA (U.S. Department of Agriculture) No its not just for farming, it is an equal oppurtunity housing program. They help with loans to buy a house if you are on limited means and meet qualifications. They have a very low intrest rate and make house payments cheaper than a regular loan. EX: a loan for our house through a bank would have made house payments over $800 with taxes and insurance, with the USDA loan its $550 with taxes and insurance. But you ahve to meet requirments such as income in a certain bracket not to much not to little, and I think if you need the home such as health reasons, ex: our apartment had mold in the insulation so I was getting sick alot so our house is better health wise for me. If you get information about it it will show you what you need and requirments. But i know there are also programs in certain cities and states for renting if you have health and or finacial reasons to need help. I have CF and I am married. I don't know about your side of the situation but from my side its been the best thign that has ever happened to me. I think my husband would agree. He would do anything for me and we wouldn't trade anything for the world. He often tells me that he hates that i have to go through all the sickness, sadness and everythig that goes along with CF and that he wishes he could take it away, But he also says that I wouldn't be the same person he married if i never had CF. He says that having CF gave me a quality that no one else he had meet has and that if I never had CF i probably wouldn't have been so shy and wouldn't have ever meet him. So in a gloomy sort of way CF is my blessing. Its just an obstical in my life with lots of hard times but without my husband I wouldn't be able to over come them. Before we started dating I was at the point of giving up, in fact I had. But he gave me a reason to have more fight and thats why I am here today. Don't worry about the hard times. he good times will out way the bad. The best thing to do is what you are already doing, loving each other and being there for each other no matter what. I don't know if any of this helped you but I just thought I would share.Amanda

 

[anonymous]

Hi! I wanted to respond to your message about marriage and CF. I am 25 with CF and I got married this past May. I also have terrible episodes of hemoptosis. I am a 1st grade teacher and I was very upfront with my Principal when I was hired. I was fresh out of school and didn't know how I would be affected by working full time and with children all day. As far as the benefits of being married, mine increased with being married. I have a great insurance and it helps having two incomes to help with things. Is your boyfriend/fiance on disability? Has he thought about becoming like a medical transciptist? That is something he can do at home and take on as much or little as possible. I would love to hear more about the hemoptosis. I rarely find anyone who has this. please email at jeffandalaina@yahoo.comThanks, Alaina

 

[buffikins23]

I'm in a 3.5 year relationship and I too have CF, I think it has strengthened our relationship. But I want to know what Hemoptosis is, and the symptoms. Not for any particular reason, but I like to be well informed. The job thing is tough...I'm still in college and planning to be a social worker, so I will have to cross that bridge this december. The transcription thing sounds good, I also know that my dad was in Marketing, he had to travel alot, but you basically make your own hours. All the best of wishes to you both, and to all!!23/f/cf/cfrd

 

[rmklaus]

Hello, I suffered from Hemoptosis in July of last year and it was very scary but a lot of people CF friends helped me through it. I can tell you for me there were no symptoms, it just happened. I will try to explain but I must warn you it might be something you would rather not hear about. I was feeling good messing with my dogs wrestling with them and then my husband and I decided to go to bed around 11 as soon as I laid down I began wheezing badly. I got up thinking my asthma was hitting me then I got to the bathroom when I began throwing up, I turned on the light and seen it was blood so I told my husband lets go to the ER. We got to the ER and they started an IV and I had to be rushed to ICU in Wichita which was about 30 minutes from where I live. I stayed in ICU for a day then I went to a regular floor and was out Sunday morning this all happened on Friday. I still fight with coughing up blood but not to the magnatude I did that Friday night. I lost 3 pints of blood that night. A few CF friends have also fought with Hemoptosis and they never had any symptoms or anything. They said it just happened, the same way it did me. I hope this helps you and doesn't scare you. I wish I knew more about Hemoptosis before it happened to me I would of been more prepared.....

 

[anonymous]

I'VE HAD IT HERE AND THERE.USUALLY IT GOES AWAY,IF NOT I START TAKING BACTRIM OR OTHER ANTIBIOTIC,IF IT DOES NOT STOP ,CHECK IN TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A IV AND IT USUALLY CLEARS IT UP.ITS VERY SCARY THE FIRST TIME,COUGHING UP ALL THAT BLOOD YOU THINK YOUR GOING TO DIE.BUT IT GOES AWAY AND YOU MOVE ON. CB67

 

[buffikins23]

No, I'm not one to scare easily. I would be freaked out if it happened to me and I didn't know what it was, but thanks to you that won't happen. I know I got off the marriage subject, but thank you rmklaus and CB67 for your input!!