Marriage

[CFjeff73]

This is a misinterpretation of what was said. A person isn’t going to cover all of his health cost with tax savings, but a person sitting on the bubble of affordability would surely like to look into any tax saving he/she might get. For me personally, my health care coverage is +$150/month more because of a spouse. That is in the ballpark of tax saving I get from filing my taxes jointly.


Marriage can be for CF-ers. Actually the only CF-er I know personally (nine total) that isn’t married is still in 5[SUP]th[/SUP] grade, and not one of them had $1M (note: the preceding anecdote is a product of my social bias, i.e. I meet CF-folks the same way I meet other folks, in the neighborhood, at work, and at the occasional social thing, therefore my sample is a self select of middle class utah/idaho folks).

Now marriage might not be for all CF-ers, but I feel it is up to each individual CF-er to do his homework and figure that out. Not all insurances are 80/20, not all employees offer terrible coverage, not all states regulate the marketplace the same, and not all state social programs have the same rules. That is why you have to do your homework prior to taking the plunge. No doubt this sucks. But at least after doing your homework you will know if you need to postpone legal marriage (maybe indefinitely), or find a different job, or move to a different state. Not great options, but options indeed. And some of these options that have worked for some CF-ers.

So "find a better job?" or "move to another state?" where insurance coverage is different?! So drastic over a dumb thing like a marriage contract, why-not just save yourself the trouble and insurance fear by just being committed. What happens to the couple when the CFer can no longer work? what happens to the CFer when their spouses job lays them off or decides to go with a cheap Ins. as it happens all the time, even at my committed spouses job. What happens when State policy changes or budget cuts, do you just pick up and move to another unfamiliar place w/new doctors and all?

I have to tell ya ethan ALL States across America aren't going to vary from the 80/20 medical coverage nor are the State Aid programs going to budge when it comes to combined income via marriage. Those people you speak of from Utah that are "middle-class" earners I am amazed that the non-CFer spouce is allowed to have such a good policy that just allows a known case of CF to be added for so cheap like $150bux a month and somehow that insurance will just be okay paying out the 20% which is aprox. $28,000 to $112,000 in yearly tune-up fees... once the Ins. company gets wind of this do you think their or your $150 a month fee is going to stand as something they will tolerate yearly before the premium gets raised through the roof??

I speak to the "common" average CFer whom lives off of disability or welfare as their source of income or for that the common CFer to consider that in their future they will NEED an income for not being able to work and that an income will not be there for them and neither will the State cover the 20% of there medical costs if their combined income exceeds like $28,000 Dollars or so which is redundant because that includes pretty much all married couples except those under the 28grand whom live in poverty(but this can be avoided through commitment not marriage.) Those Utah couples have got some super jobs via there spouse and there insurance just hasn't caught up with them to take on the slow terminal disease that CF is. The CF pinch will be felt most likely in the end stage which could most likely be a 6year period and they can even loose there homes as I've known people to loose theirs to afford doctor bills or high premiums. You might not need a couple million as that is an exaggeration but not being covered by the State properly is nothing to loose your home over and in fact you can't even have a home if you collect disability and that is what this is all about THE ABILITY TO BE SELF-SUPPORTING even with a spouse... oh sure if things are what you suggest in good old Utah then just have the CFer rely on a spouse to pull ALL your weight Unnecessarily I might add all due to being married through contract law.

My posts aren't for the CFer who has a sugar daddy/mama or can just leech onto a lucky spouses amazing temporary medical coverage. Perhaps a CFer makes better than 40grand a year and the spouse brings in over 60grand as well and they don't have to cover the cost of children, this isn't for them AT THE MOMENT as well. I look to the future and THE POTENTIAL of a present day "legally binding marriage contract."

So the only benefits Married life brings for the CFer is SUPPOSEDLY that one can potentially get onto a spouses medical company benefits to cover medical costs until Insurance companies raise your premiums for having CF due to yearly expenses, getting tax breaks -nowhere near to cover medical costs and hospital visitation privileges that don't matter anyhow because family can override who sees you. THIS IS A NO WIN PROPOSITION FOR ANY CFER! There aren't any choices to be made evan so lets stop romancing the idea of marriage, not even the legal side of it adds up.

If you have a big Savings Acct. or file jointly or own property you will not qualify for disability(SSDI) that you might or might not have earned over your lifetime for working and no way in hell will you qualify for welfare. The bottom line here is what I am saying is if you plan on getting Married just know that the State won't cover your monthly income or the 20% Insurance coverage outside of medicare. If you can handle your spouse being your meal ticket for health coverage and income coverage till you die(average age of 38 w/all sorts of complications) then your set, you have nothing to worry about and without exaggeration this might be the 5% out of out of 95% of CFers that can do this unless the CFer has a mild case.

Just remember if costs get too high and the CFer then falls into the high risk category by your INS. carrier and you will be dropped and UN-insurible or the premium could be like over a grand or 2 a month if you are lucky and that is where you end up going into debt for not having insurance or State Insurance to begin with. You will have to pay for your 20% of tuneups on your own because your joint income will exceed the poverty level and the state wont pick you up unless they charge a high priemium. Then what happens if the CFer has complications, you will be taking out a loan on your home until it's gone and THEN AND ONLY THEN after being broke will the State deem you worthy of insuring but think of all the red tape and waiting periods there are with State run programs as well.

In summary Ethan, Marriage really isn't viable for CFers... looking at 95% of the angles and the costs it will injure a couple more in the long run. For God sakes doesn't the CFer have a responsibility to respect there partner enough not to drain their income for no good reason especially when they have to live out 30 to 40 more years of life. Even if a CFer is on their death bed they and there family can let anyone in the door so other then any other benefit there really isn't one.

jrodson I hope all this banter saves you trouble and you just be committed to your partner. Sorry that there are no benefits to a CF Marriage from WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE IS because she is on the State Dole but you don't have a Marriage option. It's romantic cause you love her in spite of her condition and rightfully so I'd want to marry a person whom loves me for all that I am, but I have learned that Govt. likes to play games so I don't mess around with there law... I don't mind being the rat but I'm not going to fight for supremacy over some Govt. cheese. No the Govt. can take care of me in their cage just fine serving me all the cheese I can afford on 400bux a month on my food rations for the month as I'm now living by the peoples choice and moonlighting with what I call my wifiepoo.

 

[ethan508]

@CFJeff, apparently you did your homework and living as married works well for you. But to claim this as an universal truth or even an optimal choice for everyone is assuming that your situation is universal. It isn't. For me to offer an alternative isn't an attack on your choice, but an alternative to others trying to evaluate their options.

 

[CFjeff73]

@CFJeff, apparently you did your homework and living as married works well for you. But to claim this as an universal truth or even an optimal choice for everyone is assuming that your situation is universal. It isn't. For me to offer an alternative isn't an attack on your choice, but an alternative to others trying to evaluate their options.

I don't live as married, I live as committed but refer to my significant other as my wifeipoo or partner. My claim about the State of California and the Govt. in all states is Universal. My claim about Insurance companies raising premiums enormously for high risk patients is also Universal throughout all of America. If you were paying attention to the original poster of this thread you would know that is condition is such that his(jrodson's) fiancee with CF lives on disability with the standard 80/20 medicare/medicaid/or maybe GHPP coverage so my take on disability is also Universal throughout the states.

My take on CF people whom aren't on disability currently will eventually need to be on it UNLESS you marry a rich spouse from Utah or what not to cover high yearly medical premiums and living expenses... there is a reason CFers don't qualify for death insurance as well! Perhaps the CFer pulls in a good amount but good luck because if you are sick it will raise your bills for being out of work and most likely it will effect your job eventually. I really can't emphasize enough that Insurance companies will drop you or raise your fee's to ungodly amounts when you start to decline and need more hospital tuneups per year.

ethan... I know it's not the thing you want to hear and it's bad etiquette as a journalist to say such exclusive words like "Every" & "All" but the facts are that for ALL 95% of CFers Marriage is not an option unless you're rich and that is outside of the 95%. Now I know your going to say this isn't true that you know 9 other CFers but that is only because they aren't in the end stages just yet and the spouse hasn't had to take a loan out on the house for that 20% just yet or that 2grand a month premium is somehow manageable. Marriage is nothing but a legal contract between to people in the eyes of the State(big whoopie) and with that contract there aren't any Pro's that outweigh the Cons so Yes... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR CFers or at least 95% of them.

If you can't predict the CF demise then why roll the dice with a marriage contract in which does nothing, just have to be sensible and conclude that Marriage is not for CFer's. Then again there are the risk takers, I say let them at the whole marriage contract and they will find out just how unfair the govt. plays.

 

[believingjesus]

CFJeff: I do not know about all of the insurance stuff but I am learning. This does not directly relate to this thread - sorry! - When you say the insurance companies raise the rates for high-risk patients, what do you mean exactly? I thought it was against the law with Obamacare to do that or to single out a person. From what I have learned, the employer who pays the insurance would see my son is using a big part of the insurance. Because of that, we have been looking at getting insurance through the Affordable Care Act but it is a lot more and I am terrified I will miss something and mess the insurance up when it is so necessary and needed. Also with Kalydeco coming out I definitely want my son to be on it but it seems I am the only one who is scared to order it on this forum. I have read it was like $337,000 a year or something like that. Even with my husbands insurance (my sons dad) this year I am scared to order it. I see it as a way for the companies to cut people but of course would never use that as a reason. I do not know if the insurance companies offered on the ACA would cover such a drug as I put it in the system when I was looking into several different plans for next year and it did not recognize that drug. If I ask the company I will definitely get rejected. Even with a high premium every month, that no where near compensates for most of the drugs he uses even without Kalydeco. Can you offer advice on whether he should just go with the employer-offered insurance and hope for the best when he values his job more than anything or look into insurance programs offered on the marketplace through the ACA?

 

[DPonce]

Unfortunately, with the way insurance and medicaid work I don't believe the both of you have a choice. One of my biggest worries is losing my coverage. I have CF but I am the one that pays the bulk of the bills. I tell my wife, that if I loose my job then I am going on disability. I would not want to put the burden of bills on her, especially with her hourly income of $12.00 per hour (after 20 years at the same place). We cannot afford to loose my coverage or our lives can be devastated financially. Love is a great thing especially when you find the right person but unfortunately our government does not care about love and the ones that work will suffer the price. Maybe this is not the right thing to be telling you or what you want to hear but if the two of you really love one another then you have to protect your relationship. Live a fruitful life with one another, enjoy each others company, just legally think about it before you leap into marriage, because financial stress is as devastating to a marriage; as the disease we carry. May God bless the both of you with what ever decision you make.

 

[CFjeff73]

CFJeff: I do not know about all of the insurance stuff but I am learning. This does not directly relate to this thread - sorry! - When you say the insurance companies raise the rates for high-risk patients, what do you mean exactly? I thought it was against the law with Obamacare to do that or to single out a person. My son turns 26 at the beginning of next year. From what I have learned, the employer who pays the insurance would see my son is using a big part of the insurance. Because of that, we have been looking at getting insurance through the Affordable Care Act but it is a lot more and I am terrified I will miss something and mess the insurance up when it is so necessary and needed. Also with Kalydeco coming out I definitely want my son to be on it but it seems I am the only one who is scared to order it on this forum. I have read it was like $337,000 a year or something like that. Even with my husbands insurance (my sons dad) this year I am scared to order it. I see it as a way for the companies to cut people but of course would never use that as a reason. My son values his job so much and when he has to get other insurance next year I would hate to endanger his job by this one drug alone. I do not know if the insurance companies offered on the ACA would cover such a drug as I put it in the system when I was looking into several different plans for next year and it did not recognize that drug. If I ask the company I will definitely get rejected. Even with a high premium every month, that no where near compensates for most of the drugs he uses even without Kalydeco. Can you offer advice on whether he should just go with the employer-offered insurance and hope for the best when he values his job more than anything or look into insurance programs offered on the marketplace through the ACA?

Hey believer! I suppose every CF case is different because the health of every CF varies... is your 26yr old CFer son on Disability in addition working not too many hours thus accidentally loosing the disability he is on? You say your employer will know that your son is using a big part of the insurance and I'm sure he will as his premiums will go up, he might even opt for a cheaper INS. that cuts back on benefits or raises employee fees and also might have capps on what the INS. will cover yearly before you have to pay out of pocket.

I can speak for my story and that's that my hospital visits increased per year and it also effected my ability to be a waiter as I was always getting infections and my doctor said he didn't believe in oral antibiotics as they build up and strengthen bugs due to there low dosage and bugs become more resilient against needed antibiotics. This meant that I'd go right back into the workforce after every tuneup and things got worse and my hospital visits were closer and closer to each other with like 3to4 a year. Eventually I asked for a leave of absence from my job and I went over the 3month mark as that is the maximum you can take off before your job keep you as they will have to rehire you for "job abandonment" which they did for me because I was a really good employee and all my bosses liked me . Eventually my cough in the restaurant setting became too much for me and as seen in the customers eyes, my boss has even apologized and explained to people that I have a condition and it's not contagious.

Luckily for me the Insurance somehow was different back in 2011 but now my status is different and I think it is due to Obama Care as GHPP(Genetically Handicapped Persons Program) used to pick up everything as my Secondary 20% Coverage and Medicare picked up the 80%, it was simple... I didn't need Gold-coast or I guess what is called Medicaid but now Obama-care makes you choose a Medicaid company like Gold-coast which is automatically assigned to people on disability. Gold-coast then evaluates a deductible based on your monthly income and like I've said before, I'm $40bux over the Poverty monthly income level so the Claim is that I will have to pay a monthly deductible of $667.00 for Doctors/Hospitals and $40.00bux for my prescriptions when before it was all free. It seems like Obama has done nothing but taken from the upper-class poor and given it to the lower-class poor making people only poor. It's strange too because GHPP also evaluates your income but somehow I qualify at no expense as I only make like 15grand a year.

Oh almost forgot... I didn't get my disability(SSDI) for Cystic Fibrosis, I got it through a mental bipolar disorder in the beginning as I've had myself committed like 4 or 5 times and now my doctor signs off on it for CF because I haven't been so bad over the past 10years with my mental BS. My brother whom is 2years younger then me cannot get Disability and we were both born with Cystic Fibrosis, the reason is that then state doesn't view his condition as debilitating where as if it was a mental one they might so keep that in mind. Yeah a lack of oxygen to the brain can make anyone go a little bit mad and act stupid.

Anyhow that's my story and I can't live off of half of what the government is giving me already, much less alone what they are giving me so I just don't pay those $667.00 deductibles and let them go to collections as there is no debtors prison. Hope this info helps you "believingjesus" I'm sure your going to be just fine as the hospitals will always work something out, they aren't going to just let your son die in the street. Love & Light!

 

[believingjesus]

Thanks CFJeff for responding! No my son is not on disability. He is on our insurance right now but has to go off at the end of the year. I did find out today that that is for the best though (I will respond to that post after this one but I had started a thread about insurance this afternoon before I found out the answer). I know that Medicare and Medicaid is a mess. I really feel for you having to pay that big deductible! Most people, including us, could not afford that so I honestly don't know how they can expect that! What a mess. Yeah if you don't have it I don't know how they could expect you to pay it. The tip on the disability is a good tip but I doubt it would make my son qualify ever. I would probably qualify based on craziness as I think I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome but I know my son who is level-headed would never qualify. He has never given me an ounce of trouble in his life. He is the poster child for goodness - literally. I do understand though as this disease will kill the person with it and the ones who love that person one way or the other. I do really appreciate you responding - I've been checking to see - thanks so much!

 

[emt]

I am in a similar situation, but for me, I'M the one with CF relying on state insurance. When my fiance and I got engaged, we were under the impression that we could have a ceremony and reception, just not have any legal documents saying we were married. But... Low and behold, I just learned in this past week that SSI will drop you and come after you if you even HOLD yourself as married (for example, if you have pictures of your ceremony on facebook, or facebook says you are married), and that will end up leaving you having to pay back all the money they have given you, possibly the money medicaid has paid for you, and jail time. So, for right now, no marriage for us! We are 'permanently engaged' lol. In the future, when he has a job with great benefits, we will get legally married and I will go onto his insurance, but for now it just isn't realistic as the possibility of losing SSI and insurance is frightening! It stinks we can't even say we are married, but oh well. We are commited, we love each other. That is what it is!