Message to God

[anonymous]

I know that You will look sorrowfully on this messsage but forgive me as im a humanbeing. Im not questioning Your existence but im kinda mazed by the way You let things go.

If You care about me and I know that You do, then why did u leave me?
If you love me and I know that you do, then how would you allow such things to happen to me?
If there is a purpose beyond living, then why cant i see mine? Unless it is that im a scapegoat or lesson to others and that would be mere discrimination.

Im lost and you know that, then why dont you find me? Arent you the shepherd who looks after his sheep, or should the sheep find its shepherd?

If it is by free will that you allow us to live, then how could you allow my free will to lead me away from you and towards destruction?

If it is towards the major sin im heading to, then would you sit up and stare and then detain me? It is like a parent watching his kid about to hurt himself. He lets him do it and then punish him.

If you are wise , and I know that you are why wouldnt You interfere?


Am I asking too much? Is there something wrong in this ? Am I at fault? Is there no reason for despair?

It may be offtopic but im so pissed off and want to vent.

anonymous 20 w/cf

 

[buggygurl321]

I think that at one time or another, every CFer asks God, why me? if you exist, then why give me this lousy disease to deal with everyday?
At one point or another, everyone blames Him. But, like my mom would say, "He has a plan for you. He's given you this disease to make you stronger, because he knows that you can handle it." I too, am not saying if He exists or not...But if He does, well, I'm pretty sure that He means well and knows what He's doing.

Best Wishes.

Katie

 

[anonymous]

You ask great questions. I've asked similar questions and the annoying thing is I'm the only one able to answer them. Answers come for me in time. Often slowly either through events, discussions, getting high, or just being. I cannot answer most of the questions you've laid out b/c most of them are different for everyone based on their belief system. I believe I can aswer these ones though.

Am I asking too much? No
Is there something wrong in this? No
Am I at fault? No

Regards, Jason 30 w/cf

 

[anonymous]

I often wonder why God gave His Son and allowed Him to be punished, beaten, have a crown of thorns placed upon His head to pay for my/our sins? I don't think I could allow my child to die on behalf of others. I'm sure this was hard for God to see, but necessary.
I guess it will be at the end of my lifetime before I'll know why God intrusted me w/ this disease, but until then, I try to deal with it, because my worrying, being angry, etc is not going to change anything, so I try to make the best of it that I can.
I know that with my illness, I rely on God more than I would if I were completely healthy, so maybe that's why I have this disease? Maybe I'm here to be an inspiration to others??

I once saw a billboard sign that said "Far from God?... Who moved?"

Just my thoughts, take 'em or leave 'em<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[SeasonsOfLove]

This is the first question (I think) most people ask themselves when CF comes into their life.

Years ago when Coll was about 5 years old, she even asked our pastor this question (one year he had a box where people could ask questions, suggest sermon topics, etc). He wrote back to her saying (among other nice things) that he didn't know why.

Personally I try not to think about it too much because I usually get angry when I do! (repression as coping mechanism)

: )

 

[NoDayButToday]

I did? I don't even remember that! LOL

 

[anonymous]

What an incredibly tough question. I do not think anyone with any disease and suffers will get any answers until we are at the pearly gates. I just try to cope the best I can and be an inspiration for others. It is funny throughout my life people have said to me that I am such an inspiration. I do not see this but maybe it is not for me to see and that is just the point. God gave me this crappy hand of cards and others are inspired by the way I handle it! Amazing but if I can do that for another person then I think it helps me get thru what I go thru with CF.

Hang in there and it is OKAY to vent! But, I do believe that you need to vent and then pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move on! We can not control how CF progresses to a certain extent, so do your best to keep yourself as healthy as possible so you can weather all storms!

God Bless You and all CF r's


Jennifer 33yrs old with CF

 

[anonymous]

You asked, so here goes:

If you care about me and I know that you do, then why did you leave me?
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31

If you love me and I know that you do, then how would you allow such things to happen to me? Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6.

If there is a purpose beyond living, then why cant I see mine? Unless it is that I am a scapegoat or lesson to others and that would be mere discrimination.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. Romans 15:13

But this (a boy born blind) happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3

I am lost and you know that, then why dont you find me? Arent you the shepherd who looks after his sheep, or should the sheep find its shepherd?
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones (lost sheep i.e  his children) should be lost. Matthew 18:14

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. John 5:24

If it is by free will that you allow us to live, then how could you allow my free will to lead me away from you and towards destruction?
I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. John 8:12

He who belongs to God hears what God says. John 8:47

If it is towards the major sin I am heading to, then would you sit up and stare and then detain me? It is like a parent watching his kid about to hurt himself. He lets him do it and then punish him.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:9-12

If you are wise, and I know that you are why wouldnt you interfere?
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:31


Am I asking too much? Is there something wrong in this? Am I at fault? Is there no reason for despair?
No, you are not asking too much. I also had questions about my life and the purpose in it when I was in my early twenties. I found the answers that I looking for when I picked up the Bible and read it for myself. I had always been told what the Bible said growing up, but it was meaningless until my heart ached for the Truth and I searched for the answers. Honestly, I could not have the joy I have in my life today with Him. He has brought my husband and I peace during the challenges of having both of our children diagnosed with cf. We have also been able to see our friends and family draw closer to Him through our childrens diagnosis and us completely accepting his perfect plan for our children. What an enormous honor that God had brought my husband and I. Life is difficult, for some more than others. It is how we choose to accept these challenges and where we turn for comfort that can ultimately bring us peace.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 3.5 and Jack, 1.5 both with cf

 

[SeasonsOfLove]

Indeed you did - we were walking by the suggestion/question box and you said "I want to ask Pastor ... why God gave me CF!"

You have never been one to mince words!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, KATIE. GOD GAVE US THIS DISEASE BECAUSE HE KNEW WE COULD HANDLE IT AND FOR SOME OF US TO MAKE US STRONGER. I REALLY THINK THAT MY ILLNESS HAS MADE ME A MUCH STRONGER PERSON, AND IT DEFINATELY HASNT HELD ME BACK FROM DOING THE THING IVE WANTED TO DO. IVE HAD A CHILD, I DO WHAT I LIKE TO DO FOR A CAREER. SO WHAT IF IM GOING TO DIE BEFORE IM 50. ILL SEE MY DAUGHTER GROW UP, AT LEAST AND MAKE SURE SHE UNDERSTAND WHY IM DYING AT SUCH AN AGE. BUT IN REALITY, WHO REALLY WANTS TO LIVE TO BE OLD AND GREY ANYWAY RIGHT!

 

[ClashPunk82]

That's nice for you anonymous, but some of us are no t as lucky as you to be doing what we want. I am not able to have children I cannot work due to my illness. I got pretty sick pretty fast. Couple of years ago I was going to college and becoming a surgical tech. I would love to be able to do that but I just can't. I don't blame God I just wonder what is the purpose of all of this? I am now being listed for a tx and my brother who has CF has decided he will not go through with a TX. I mean I love my family and happy with my life but just wish I wasn't as sick as I am. I wish I would live a long time untill but I know that won't happen. For some people it's qulaity over quantity but for me I would rather be 90 and have a boring life than die at 30 having a full life. I guess everyone is different. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

I want to share with you what my uncle said to me once. He is a preacher and I was in a horrible car accident several years ago. I had a broken back and paralyzed for some time. Had several years of therapy and now walking again. MY boyfriend was killed. My step sister was injured also. Once I was able to get around, I needed to leave the area so I moved in with my uncle several hours away. I was really depressed and asked him why God would let this happen. He told me it was not God, it was Satan. Satan had his hand on our car and he was the one at fault. It took me a long time to believe this. I felt that was a silly answer. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Satan wants noone to be healthy or happy. I have never told ANYONE this, but I believe that Satan had a hand on what happened. After the accident, I came closer to God. I am still close to him, although I do not go to church. I believe in him and that should be enough for me. I don't need the "hat parades" as they call it to pray or worship. At the time of the accident, I did not believe in God or anything to be honest and I feel that if I had believed, my bf would have been spared his life. I now look at it this way, I have overcome Satan and his horrible ways(so to speak). I believe God has a plan for me.

My sister & brother have cf. I don't feel that God gave it to them, I feel that Satan had a hand in it. They are here because God has a plan for them and all of you as well. Again, I do not blame God, I blame Satan and everyday when something goes wrong or I am not having a good day, I say (sometimes under my breath), Satan, I don't believe you, so go away, you will not win this battle or any other battle!!!!! Then I thank God for everything he has given me and my day seems to get better. So if you feel down or not having a good day just YELL at Satan and tell him to go away and that God will take care of you!!!

Sorry for rambling.

Kay

 

[Dea]

This is such a touchy subject, but I am going to address it as well.
I cant say that I have ever blamed God for my CF....but I have asked the question, "Why me?" in general, many times. Then I can usually answer myself and say that for some reason, this was meant to be. I honestly can say that CF has made me who I am. It has made me a strong willed person, and I know I will always fight and never give up. I believe God gave me that will to fight. I believe we are, in a way, role models for others who dont have the strength and courage to fight. I have never believed I was or am going to die young. I am not in denial, I am just determined to fight this disease. Sure, as I get older, the problems seem to get worse, but that just makes me stronger to keep going. I truly believe that we must keep a positive outlook and I know from experience how hard that can be. I would like to say to the original poster, no one looks sorrowfully at you for your post, because as you have said, we are only human. I believe we have all felt alone at times. Just remember, we are all in this together, and understand each other well because we have all been there at one point in time or another. There is nothing wrong about the way you feel...it is normal. It is ok to get mad and vent. We all have to or we would absolutely drive ourselves crazy....Stay strong....Take Care!
Dea
31 w/CF

 

[anonymous]

I dont think I have once blamed God for my disease, I have only asked for his protection and guidence to get me through it. Every time I go into the hospital, I pray for him to make me better fast. By the way, it is so interesting to see the different views people have on this topic, wow. It really makes you think. In reality, I too, dont think God wants anyone to suffer. I think its faith that keeps people going.

 

[WinAce]

It's perfectly alright to question God's existence, though. (It's amazing how some things about the world just plain make more sense if you <i>don't</i> assume it was made to order by a perfect, omnipotent superbeing.) ;-)

 

[anonymous]

I really don't believe that Satan gave me this disease, but that's an intersting concept/belief. I guess someday I'll find out the answer to that theory. You could be right. I would ask your uncle specifically what scripture(s) he's basing that belief from. Thanks for sharing.
One thing I will say is, please don't carry that guilt around re: your boyfriend. You belief or non-belief did not have anything to do w/ his death. My belief is that from the day we're born, God has a plan and I just roll with that. So with that in mind, it was his time to go and your belief had nothing to do with that. I just hate to see you carry this burden when it's unnecessary.

 

[anonymous]

To Sharon

I too am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, it has been some time since we have gone to church due to my daughter's illness with CF and I tend to worry at times about her being around others during flu season and alot of people being sick with strepp and other infections. It was really good to read your post, my daughter is over her pneumonia from Jan. and is now on antibiotics for pseudomonas, it is time for us to return back to church and sometimes when you have not been for a while it is more difficult to just get up and go (LAZY) I do feel the same way about CF bringing us closer to the Lord and it was nice how you answered the questions with Biblical Scripture.
Thank You, i myself needed to hear what you have said.
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

Im the original poster, you are talking about plans, but what kind of plans is this? To the one who wrote that satan is responsible for this, I say that this is nonsense. It is totally ridiculous. Satan is a powerless creature who can do nothing if God doesnt allow it. Satan doesnt make us sick. Its God's will which I will never understand or comprehend.

 

[anonymous]

To the original poster

Read the book of Job in the Bible. I know that it seems hard to understand but God loves his children and satan is very powerful , of coures not as powerful as my Almighty Father . When i sometimes will wonder why certain things happen, i stop and think how hard it was for my Father to allow his Son to die for my sins. What an amazing sacrifice he made for his children.

Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[Emily65Roses]

It's an interesting concept, but I personally don't believe that satan gave me CF either. I tend to think it was the most common CF gene in my mother's DNA and a rare mutation in my father's DNA that gave me CF. To each his or her own, but as for me, I'm a bigger believer in science for most things than for fate or higher powers (whether it be satan or god). If god gave me CF, then he doesn't really love all his children, because I can't think of a single person I love that I'd give CF to. And if satan gave me CF, what did I do before I was even born to deserve it, why would he have chosen me? Wouldn't he rather try to get a relative of god's or Jesus' or something? Someone he might have a personal vendetta against? I don't pretend to know anything for sure. All I know is that neither of those theories make any sense to me.

I feel like I need to leave a disclaimer here so people don't jump down my throat: This post isn't made to offend anyone, it's just my thinking out loud on the idea that I was given CF by either god or satan. If you don't like my thinking, don't take it to heart. It's just my personal train of thought.