Thank you all so much, it really does help to have so much support from the CF community. I miss him so much sometimes I am ok and at peace, other times I feel like I just cannot stand the pain. I miss his smile, his humor. Him editing my papers watching American I . I was at a restaurant today and suddenly noticed all the kids his age. It broke my heart. Why didn't he get the chance I also have received his urn so mike is home now, that some how feels better. Mornings are the worst because that is what got me up in the morning, preparing his news and eds and it was my excuse to peek at him and see how he was doing. Mornings suck, wheni it dawns on me that he is no longer here :,(