fondreflections
New member
Kate,
I will not judge you! I am sure you are already very aware about how Cepacia and lower PFT's can effect a pregnancy. There is NO reason for me to even go there!
On another note, I'm Pro-Choice. I feel bad for you that you had to make that very hard decision 4 years ago. I understand how it can be a constant nightmare. I have never been pregnant, but I use to have a friend who got pregnant during her senior year. She and her boyfriend got an abortion too during her first trimester. She was mortified and didn't tell anyone of months and months. Heck, she only told me 3 months after the fact. She still hadn't told her own mother about it when she told me. I still remember the day she told me. I asked her, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Her response, "Because I thought you would hate me for it." I really don't know why she thought I would. She told me that she conceived after she and her boyfriend (now husband) got drunk one night and didn't use protection. She wasn't a partier or even a drinker. They were already serious and engaged.
Her decision for the abortion was because they both were enrolled in college for the fall. Her at Alvernia College for Physical Therapist, and I forget what he was going for. It was a 4-year program, though. Both had all the plans setup. She also was very worried about the reactions of both their parents.
I'm not saying she made the right decision or the wrong decision. What I am saying is that she made the decision that she thought was right for her!!! She did get her BA, and so did he. They even asked me to be their "Maid/Matron of Honor", but I had to refuse. It was a few states away, and I was having a bad CF year. After the wedding, they moved halfway across the country. We still keep in touch but not like we use to.
So I do know, to a point, what you are/have been through.
What I will say is please don't be so hard on yourself! You did what you thought was right for YOU and everyone else involved at that time. I don't in any way think that God is punishing you. And I don't think you should be blaming yourself either. You are living each and everyday with those regrets. What happened has happened...It can not be changed. I am sure you will never forget any of that experience, but why do you deserve to keep reliving it by putting blame on yourself?
I'm sorry if I'm bringing you to tears right now by discussing your past. I'm not trying to hurt you in any way. I'm more/less reaching my hand out to you in the way my friend didn't give me the chance to.
....................................................
We do have some things in common in the reproductive area. I have been trying to conceive for 19 months with no luck. I too have very regular cycles, and great pain sometimes on my left side, usually following ovulation until new cycle begins. I also have rather large cysts on the left ovary half of the time which I have had since I was 12-years-old.
Finally, I went last month to a fertility specialist and was diagnosed with PCOS on the left ovary. Basically, I rarely ovulate out of the left ovary so I really only had the right one to work with for the past 19 months! Plus, I have very messed up cervical mucus. I'm sure if you check past threads by me you will see how messed up my cervical mucus is. These two factors have prevented me from conceiving all this time.
So now, Jake (my husband) and I will have our final review of everything next week. At this appointment, we will finally know what solutions are available to us.
My stats are these: 4'11", 118 pounds, FEV1 68%, PA and MRSA
These stats will play a HUGE part in my ability to carry multiple births. I'm short, chubby, and so-so lung stats. Thought I'd try and make you smile. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
My advice to you is this:
1. Setup an appointment with a fertilty specialist AS LONG AS YOUR CF DOCTOR IS ON BOARD!
2. BOTH OF YOU DO THE COUPLE TESTS INVOLVED.
3. Within 3 weeks, you will have a VERY GOOD idea what you are dealing with.
I have Capital Blue Cross, and so far, all my appointments and tests have been paid for in full. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you have PCOS. Hopefully, not endometriosis in addition. They thought I had that too, but thankfully not.
That is where I would start! If you need ANYTHING let me know. My fingers are ready to fall off now. LOL! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
I will not judge you! I am sure you are already very aware about how Cepacia and lower PFT's can effect a pregnancy. There is NO reason for me to even go there!
On another note, I'm Pro-Choice. I feel bad for you that you had to make that very hard decision 4 years ago. I understand how it can be a constant nightmare. I have never been pregnant, but I use to have a friend who got pregnant during her senior year. She and her boyfriend got an abortion too during her first trimester. She was mortified and didn't tell anyone of months and months. Heck, she only told me 3 months after the fact. She still hadn't told her own mother about it when she told me. I still remember the day she told me. I asked her, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Her response, "Because I thought you would hate me for it." I really don't know why she thought I would. She told me that she conceived after she and her boyfriend (now husband) got drunk one night and didn't use protection. She wasn't a partier or even a drinker. They were already serious and engaged.
Her decision for the abortion was because they both were enrolled in college for the fall. Her at Alvernia College for Physical Therapist, and I forget what he was going for. It was a 4-year program, though. Both had all the plans setup. She also was very worried about the reactions of both their parents.
I'm not saying she made the right decision or the wrong decision. What I am saying is that she made the decision that she thought was right for her!!! She did get her BA, and so did he. They even asked me to be their "Maid/Matron of Honor", but I had to refuse. It was a few states away, and I was having a bad CF year. After the wedding, they moved halfway across the country. We still keep in touch but not like we use to.
So I do know, to a point, what you are/have been through.
What I will say is please don't be so hard on yourself! You did what you thought was right for YOU and everyone else involved at that time. I don't in any way think that God is punishing you. And I don't think you should be blaming yourself either. You are living each and everyday with those regrets. What happened has happened...It can not be changed. I am sure you will never forget any of that experience, but why do you deserve to keep reliving it by putting blame on yourself?
I'm sorry if I'm bringing you to tears right now by discussing your past. I'm not trying to hurt you in any way. I'm more/less reaching my hand out to you in the way my friend didn't give me the chance to.
....................................................
We do have some things in common in the reproductive area. I have been trying to conceive for 19 months with no luck. I too have very regular cycles, and great pain sometimes on my left side, usually following ovulation until new cycle begins. I also have rather large cysts on the left ovary half of the time which I have had since I was 12-years-old.
Finally, I went last month to a fertility specialist and was diagnosed with PCOS on the left ovary. Basically, I rarely ovulate out of the left ovary so I really only had the right one to work with for the past 19 months! Plus, I have very messed up cervical mucus. I'm sure if you check past threads by me you will see how messed up my cervical mucus is. These two factors have prevented me from conceiving all this time.
So now, Jake (my husband) and I will have our final review of everything next week. At this appointment, we will finally know what solutions are available to us.
My stats are these: 4'11", 118 pounds, FEV1 68%, PA and MRSA
These stats will play a HUGE part in my ability to carry multiple births. I'm short, chubby, and so-so lung stats. Thought I'd try and make you smile. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
My advice to you is this:
1. Setup an appointment with a fertilty specialist AS LONG AS YOUR CF DOCTOR IS ON BOARD!
2. BOTH OF YOU DO THE COUPLE TESTS INVOLVED.
3. Within 3 weeks, you will have a VERY GOOD idea what you are dealing with.
I have Capital Blue Cross, and so far, all my appointments and tests have been paid for in full. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you have PCOS. Hopefully, not endometriosis in addition. They thought I had that too, but thankfully not.
That is where I would start! If you need ANYTHING let me know. My fingers are ready to fall off now. LOL! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">