Moving out

[Mockingbird]

I might get attacked for saying this, but have you talked to your parents? You said you and your boyfriend thought it was time to live together, and you and your boyfriend spoke about buying a house, but you didn't say anything about what your parents thought. I think they are in a better position to offer advice than anyone here.

 

[nicolaj]

Thanks for all your replies. Seems like you all think the same about what i should do. i just dont feel like it would be possible to lie??
i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address? if not then surely they would find out in time? Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?
Me and my boyfrind found a house today which we love. needs alot of work, but its a great house. Feel like we cant move forward though....<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

nicola xx


MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!

 

[nicolaj]

Thanks for all your replies. Seems like you all think the same about what i should do. i just dont feel like it would be possible to lie??
i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address? if not then surely they would find out in time? Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?
Me and my boyfrind found a house today which we love. needs alot of work, but its a great house. Feel like we cant move forward though....<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

nicola xx


MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!

 

[nicolaj]

Thanks for all your replies. Seems like you all think the same about what i should do. i just dont feel like it would be possible to lie??
i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address? if not then surely they would find out in time? Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?
Me and my boyfrind found a house today which we love. needs alot of work, but its a great house. Feel like we cant move forward though....<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

nicola xx


MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!

 

[beleache]

Hey Nicola,This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought... hope it all works out for you guys.... Joni 55 y/o f w c/f

 

[beleache]

Hey Nicola,This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought... hope it all works out for you guys.... Joni 55 y/o f w c/f

 

[beleache]

Hey Nicola,This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought... hope it all works out for you guys.... Joni 55 y/o f w c/f

 

[Lilith]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>

i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address?</end quote></div>

Not really. When I had to have home visits for a program I was in, or when I have to get my port flushed, I just hang out around my parent's house until the appointment is over with, then go back to my apartment.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?</end quote></div>

Same as above. No one has to know anything you don't want them to.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

Might be just my opinion, but if this is what you need to do to be happy in life, do it. CFer's lives are too short as it is, and I believe in not having any regrets. Whether your parents agree with your method or not, I'm sure all they really want is for their daughter to live happily.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought...</end quote></div>

I don't know how the programs work in England, but I know here in the U.S., to qualify for any type of assistance, you can't have very many assets, including having anything in your name. The parents would have to sign the deed over to the boyfriend only, if it works the same way overseas as it does in America.

 

[Lilith]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>

i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address?</end quote></div>

Not really. When I had to have home visits for a program I was in, or when I have to get my port flushed, I just hang out around my parent's house until the appointment is over with, then go back to my apartment.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?</end quote></div>

Same as above. No one has to know anything you don't want them to.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

Might be just my opinion, but if this is what you need to do to be happy in life, do it. CFer's lives are too short as it is, and I believe in not having any regrets. Whether your parents agree with your method or not, I'm sure all they really want is for their daughter to live happily.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought...</end quote></div>

I don't know how the programs work in England, but I know here in the U.S., to qualify for any type of assistance, you can't have very many assets, including having anything in your name. The parents would have to sign the deed over to the boyfriend only, if it works the same way overseas as it does in America.

 

[Lilith]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>

i have alot of dealings with the hospital, and have appointments every month. what would i do if i was having a home visit? Surely the hospital would have to no about me living at a different address?</end quote></div>

Not really. When I had to have home visits for a program I was in, or when I have to get my port flushed, I just hang out around my parent's house until the appointment is over with, then go back to my apartment.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Also im under assessment for a lung transplant, and need to decide if i should be listed or not. its really important the transplant co ordinator nos were i live right?</end quote></div>

Same as above. No one has to know anything you don't want them to.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

Might be just my opinion, but if this is what you need to do to be happy in life, do it. CFer's lives are too short as it is, and I believe in not having any regrets. Whether your parents agree with your method or not, I'm sure all they really want is for their daughter to live happily.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>This may be out of the question, but is there any chance that your parents could purchase the house, and have the home legally belong to you and you sig. other.... you both make payments to your parents...just a thought...</end quote></div>

I don't know how the programs work in England, but I know here in the U.S., to qualify for any type of assistance, you can't have very many assets, including having anything in your name. The parents would have to sign the deed over to the boyfriend only, if it works the same way overseas as it does in America.

 

[nicolaj]

All your advice has been helpful and given me an idea of what you guys do. Will keep you posted. thanks again!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

nicola xx

 

[nicolaj]

All your advice has been helpful and given me an idea of what you guys do. Will keep you posted. thanks again!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

nicola xx

 

[nicolaj]

All your advice has been helpful and given me an idea of what you guys do. Will keep you posted. thanks again!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

nicola xx

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

There's one in every family <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I know several people here in America who did not lie, but rather a mistake was made and they received too much money. Even though the mistake is usually on the government's part in this sort of situation, the result is the person has to pay the extra money back, which is usually quite a lot and some people have lost their homes because of it. I've never heard of anyone being caught for lying, but I'm sure the penalties are even greater. However, I'm not sure how it works in England.

One thing you might want to consider is what your doctor would do if he/she found out you were lying (if you do decide to do that). If your doctor is the type to turn a blind eye, then the chances of getting caught may be pretty minimal, but if there is a bureaucrat in your doctor's office, or something, then I think it would be a lot more risky because of some of the concerns you mentioned. Here in America, I think our doctor's offices are much more likely to turn a blind eye because our health care system is for the most part seperated from the government. I do not know if the same is true in a universal health care system like you have in England.

Personally, I agree with your parents. It is true that people lie every day, and for the most part they seem to benefit from it; but I still think in the long run honesty is best, even if it does mean sacrificing some of the things we want most.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

There's one in every family <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I know several people here in America who did not lie, but rather a mistake was made and they received too much money. Even though the mistake is usually on the government's part in this sort of situation, the result is the person has to pay the extra money back, which is usually quite a lot and some people have lost their homes because of it. I've never heard of anyone being caught for lying, but I'm sure the penalties are even greater. However, I'm not sure how it works in England.

One thing you might want to consider is what your doctor would do if he/she found out you were lying (if you do decide to do that). If your doctor is the type to turn a blind eye, then the chances of getting caught may be pretty minimal, but if there is a bureaucrat in your doctor's office, or something, then I think it would be a lot more risky because of some of the concerns you mentioned. Here in America, I think our doctor's offices are much more likely to turn a blind eye because our health care system is for the most part seperated from the government. I do not know if the same is true in a universal health care system like you have in England.

Personally, I agree with your parents. It is true that people lie every day, and for the most part they seem to benefit from it; but I still think in the long run honesty is best, even if it does mean sacrificing some of the things we want most.

 

[Mockingbird]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>nicolaj</b></i>MOCKINGBIRD: I have spoke to my parents about it. they said they wouldnt be happy about me lying, even though people do it everyday including my mums brother!! the cheek!!</end quote></div>

There's one in every family <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

I know several people here in America who did not lie, but rather a mistake was made and they received too much money. Even though the mistake is usually on the government's part in this sort of situation, the result is the person has to pay the extra money back, which is usually quite a lot and some people have lost their homes because of it. I've never heard of anyone being caught for lying, but I'm sure the penalties are even greater. However, I'm not sure how it works in England.

One thing you might want to consider is what your doctor would do if he/she found out you were lying (if you do decide to do that). If your doctor is the type to turn a blind eye, then the chances of getting caught may be pretty minimal, but if there is a bureaucrat in your doctor's office, or something, then I think it would be a lot more risky because of some of the concerns you mentioned. Here in America, I think our doctor's offices are much more likely to turn a blind eye because our health care system is for the most part seperated from the government. I do not know if the same is true in a universal health care system like you have in England.

Personally, I agree with your parents. It is true that people lie every day, and for the most part they seem to benefit from it; but I still think in the long run honesty is best, even if it does mean sacrificing some of the things we want most.

 

[LisaV]

You know during the Victorian period when you were wealthy and visiting another family for a week or something and you arrived with a gentlemen friend, no one asked you if you wanted a double room or 2 single rooms. They always gave you each a room with a double bed. And no notice was made or comments made about foot traffic during the night. People's private (sexual) lives were private. And some people had visitors that stayed for months and months.

I'm thinking you could handle this in much the same way and I hardly see keeping that part of your life private as lying. And with cell phones and such now it really is much easier to be vague about exactly where you are spending any given night. You are a grownup and woman, you get to decide who you sleep with and where. As long as the contractual part (like leases and marriage certificates) are separate and as long as you are willing to say "with my parents" if some official point blanks asks you "are you living with your parents or ______". Just hear that question as "where is yourofficial residence" and you are fine. Heck, you could spend one month with one man and another month with another man and so on and so on. Would that be any of their business?

My intuition makes me wonder how your parents really feel about your sleeping away from them (and at a man's house as well) on a regular basis.

And you are not a vicitim. You are one sexy loving intelligent woman who has a better offer than her childhood bed and isn't about to give up her financial security to go thru.

 

[LisaV]

You know during the Victorian period when you were wealthy and visiting another family for a week or something and you arrived with a gentlemen friend, no one asked you if you wanted a double room or 2 single rooms. They always gave you each a room with a double bed. And no notice was made or comments made about foot traffic during the night. People's private (sexual) lives were private. And some people had visitors that stayed for months and months.

I'm thinking you could handle this in much the same way and I hardly see keeping that part of your life private as lying. And with cell phones and such now it really is much easier to be vague about exactly where you are spending any given night. You are a grownup and woman, you get to decide who you sleep with and where. As long as the contractual part (like leases and marriage certificates) are separate and as long as you are willing to say "with my parents" if some official point blanks asks you "are you living with your parents or ______". Just hear that question as "where is yourofficial residence" and you are fine. Heck, you could spend one month with one man and another month with another man and so on and so on. Would that be any of their business?

My intuition makes me wonder how your parents really feel about your sleeping away from them (and at a man's house as well) on a regular basis.

And you are not a vicitim. You are one sexy loving intelligent woman who has a better offer than her childhood bed and isn't about to give up her financial security to go thru.

 

[LisaV]

You know during the Victorian period when you were wealthy and visiting another family for a week or something and you arrived with a gentlemen friend, no one asked you if you wanted a double room or 2 single rooms. They always gave you each a room with a double bed. And no notice was made or comments made about foot traffic during the night. People's private (sexual) lives were private. And some people had visitors that stayed for months and months.

I'm thinking you could handle this in much the same way and I hardly see keeping that part of your life private as lying. And with cell phones and such now it really is much easier to be vague about exactly where you are spending any given night. You are a grownup and woman, you get to decide who you sleep with and where. As long as the contractual part (like leases and marriage certificates) are separate and as long as you are willing to say "with my parents" if some official point blanks asks you "are you living with your parents or ______". Just hear that question as "where is yourofficial residence" and you are fine. Heck, you could spend one month with one man and another month with another man and so on and so on. Would that be any of their business?

My intuition makes me wonder how your parents really feel about your sleeping away from them (and at a man's house as well) on a regular basis.

And you are not a vicitim. You are one sexy loving intelligent woman who has a better offer than her childhood bed and isn't about to give up her financial security to go thru.