Moving out

[nicolaj]

I feel like im being punished. Were supposed to try and lead a "normal" life, but at the moment i feel like a victim. It may sound over dramatic, but thats how i feel. Feel like i will never leave my parents home.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
My boyfriend and i have been together almost 5 years. The last year or so we have talked about getting our first home. We both think its about time!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Anyway, im currently not working and recieve income support and mobility. My boyfriend gets a good wage as an electrician. We spoke about renting a house, but both want our own home with a mortgage.
The problem is, i cant afford a mortgage because i dont work. And if i move in with my partner, most of my benifits will be taken off me, because of his wage. Feel like im fighting a losing battle! I get all this money living with my parents, but if i want to live with the love of my life, i get pennies!! if i lived on my own, i would probably get more!!!!
Im sorry if im going on and on, but im so frustrated!!!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
Ive spoke to my social worker at the hospital, and its her who as told me i will lose my money. My boyfriend said he would get the house in his name and pay the mortgage himself. I feel a failure!<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
i wondered how all you guys cope. All your suggestions and advice im sure would really help me.
Thank you!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

nicola xx<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[nicolaj]

I feel like im being punished. Were supposed to try and lead a "normal" life, but at the moment i feel like a victim. It may sound over dramatic, but thats how i feel. Feel like i will never leave my parents home.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
My boyfriend and i have been together almost 5 years. The last year or so we have talked about getting our first home. We both think its about time!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Anyway, im currently not working and recieve income support and mobility. My boyfriend gets a good wage as an electrician. We spoke about renting a house, but both want our own home with a mortgage.
The problem is, i cant afford a mortgage because i dont work. And if i move in with my partner, most of my benifits will be taken off me, because of his wage. Feel like im fighting a losing battle! I get all this money living with my parents, but if i want to live with the love of my life, i get pennies!! if i lived on my own, i would probably get more!!!!
Im sorry if im going on and on, but im so frustrated!!!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
Ive spoke to my social worker at the hospital, and its her who as told me i will lose my money. My boyfriend said he would get the house in his name and pay the mortgage himself. I feel a failure!<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
i wondered how all you guys cope. All your suggestions and advice im sure would really help me.
Thank you!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

nicola xx<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[nicolaj]

I feel like im being punished. Were supposed to try and lead a "normal" life, but at the moment i feel like a victim. It may sound over dramatic, but thats how i feel. Feel like i will never leave my parents home.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
My boyfriend and i have been together almost 5 years. The last year or so we have talked about getting our first home. We both think its about time!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Anyway, im currently not working and recieve income support and mobility. My boyfriend gets a good wage as an electrician. We spoke about renting a house, but both want our own home with a mortgage.
The problem is, i cant afford a mortgage because i dont work. And if i move in with my partner, most of my benifits will be taken off me, because of his wage. Feel like im fighting a losing battle! I get all this money living with my parents, but if i want to live with the love of my life, i get pennies!! if i lived on my own, i would probably get more!!!!
Im sorry if im going on and on, but im so frustrated!!!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
Ive spoke to my social worker at the hospital, and its her who as told me i will lose my money. My boyfriend said he would get the house in his name and pay the mortgage himself. I feel a failure!<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
i wondered how all you guys cope. All your suggestions and advice im sure would really help me.
Thank you!!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

nicola xx<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[Lilith]

The best thing to do so you don't lose your government support;

Lie.

It's sad that we have to do it, but its the only way. Like you, I'd been with my boyfriend for 5 years before we decided to move out together. Granted, we got an apartment instead of a house, so we didn't have to deal with mortgage issues like you have. But I kept my benifits by keeping my address listed with my parents. My driver's licence, everything. I didn't change anything on paper. As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home. For you, everything would have to be in your boyfriend's name, but you could still pay for part of the mortgage if that's your wish. Just do what I do; give your boyfriend cash for the mortgage each month (because cash isn't traceable) and have him put it in his account to go for the payment. That's the most you can really do.

You are in no way a failure. Its not your fault that the governments of this world take such sh!tty care of the people who need them most. Rick and I will never be able to get legally married because of this crap, but that isn't going to stop us from living as if we were husband and wife. And it doesn't have to stop you from doing the same. You just have to get creative with how you handle things, that's all. But it can be done!!

 

[Lilith]

The best thing to do so you don't lose your government support;

Lie.

It's sad that we have to do it, but its the only way. Like you, I'd been with my boyfriend for 5 years before we decided to move out together. Granted, we got an apartment instead of a house, so we didn't have to deal with mortgage issues like you have. But I kept my benifits by keeping my address listed with my parents. My driver's licence, everything. I didn't change anything on paper. As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home. For you, everything would have to be in your boyfriend's name, but you could still pay for part of the mortgage if that's your wish. Just do what I do; give your boyfriend cash for the mortgage each month (because cash isn't traceable) and have him put it in his account to go for the payment. That's the most you can really do.

You are in no way a failure. Its not your fault that the governments of this world take such sh!tty care of the people who need them most. Rick and I will never be able to get legally married because of this crap, but that isn't going to stop us from living as if we were husband and wife. And it doesn't have to stop you from doing the same. You just have to get creative with how you handle things, that's all. But it can be done!!

 

[Lilith]

The best thing to do so you don't lose your government support;

Lie.

It's sad that we have to do it, but its the only way. Like you, I'd been with my boyfriend for 5 years before we decided to move out together. Granted, we got an apartment instead of a house, so we didn't have to deal with mortgage issues like you have. But I kept my benifits by keeping my address listed with my parents. My driver's licence, everything. I didn't change anything on paper. As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home. For you, everything would have to be in your boyfriend's name, but you could still pay for part of the mortgage if that's your wish. Just do what I do; give your boyfriend cash for the mortgage each month (because cash isn't traceable) and have him put it in his account to go for the payment. That's the most you can really do.

You are in no way a failure. Its not your fault that the governments of this world take such sh!tty care of the people who need them most. Rick and I will never be able to get legally married because of this crap, but that isn't going to stop us from living as if we were husband and wife. And it doesn't have to stop you from doing the same. You just have to get creative with how you handle things, that's all. But it can be done!!

 

[kswitch]

agree one hundred percent with lilith. i'm not trying to revist a discussion on morality, but there is nothing tried and true about honesty. we grow up being told that honesty is the best policy; well it isn't always. many pwcf have to create a balance the way things are, and the way things ought to be.

i know it's frustrating and depressing to have to be devious, but sometmes it's appropriate. for me, losing my gov't assistance would be fatal. as far as they know, i live at my parents, and this will be the case even after i move to another city in pursuit of education. i'm 28 and it took a while for me to aquiesce to having to do this, but the alternative is much, much worse.

 

[kswitch]

agree one hundred percent with lilith. i'm not trying to revist a discussion on morality, but there is nothing tried and true about honesty. we grow up being told that honesty is the best policy; well it isn't always. many pwcf have to create a balance the way things are, and the way things ought to be.

i know it's frustrating and depressing to have to be devious, but sometmes it's appropriate. for me, losing my gov't assistance would be fatal. as far as they know, i live at my parents, and this will be the case even after i move to another city in pursuit of education. i'm 28 and it took a while for me to aquiesce to having to do this, but the alternative is much, much worse.

 

[kswitch]

agree one hundred percent with lilith. i'm not trying to revist a discussion on morality, but there is nothing tried and true about honesty. we grow up being told that honesty is the best policy; well it isn't always. many pwcf have to create a balance the way things are, and the way things ought to be.

i know it's frustrating and depressing to have to be devious, but sometmes it's appropriate. for me, losing my gov't assistance would be fatal. as far as they know, i live at my parents, and this will be the case even after i move to another city in pursuit of education. i'm 28 and it took a while for me to aquiesce to having to do this, but the alternative is much, much worse.

 

[JennifersHope]

Coming from someone who normally prides herself on doing the right thing.. I agree with everyone else.. It is an backwards system that punishes someone for wanting to improve themself or better themself

I am experiencing that personally since I became an RN I no longer qualify for help with paying for my medications.. but if I chose not to work All would be paid for .. It is just crazy..

Enjoy your life.. Move in and keep it hush

Jennifer

 

[JennifersHope]

Coming from someone who normally prides herself on doing the right thing.. I agree with everyone else.. It is an backwards system that punishes someone for wanting to improve themself or better themself

I am experiencing that personally since I became an RN I no longer qualify for help with paying for my medications.. but if I chose not to work All would be paid for .. It is just crazy..

Enjoy your life.. Move in and keep it hush

Jennifer

 

[JennifersHope]

Coming from someone who normally prides herself on doing the right thing.. I agree with everyone else.. It is an backwards system that punishes someone for wanting to improve themself or better themself

I am experiencing that personally since I became an RN I no longer qualify for help with paying for my medications.. but if I chose not to work All would be paid for .. It is just crazy..

Enjoy your life.. Move in and keep it hush

Jennifer

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Lilith</b></i>
As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home.</end quote></div>

Oh boy. Not for long, I'm telling!!! lol <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Lilith</b></i>
As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home.</end quote></div>

Oh boy. Not for long, I'm telling!!! lol <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Lilith</b></i>
As far as the government knows, I'm still living at home.</end quote></div>

Oh boy. Not for long, I'm telling!!! lol <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Lilith]

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Oh noes!! ...wait, what am I worried for? Even if you did tell the government, I'd be dead long before they actually did anything about it. 'Cuz we all know how fast governments work <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Lilith]

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Oh noes!! ...wait, what am I worried for? Even if you did tell the government, I'd be dead long before they actually did anything about it. 'Cuz we all know how fast governments work <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Lilith]

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0"> Oh noes!! ...wait, what am I worried for? Even if you did tell the government, I'd be dead long before they actually did anything about it. 'Cuz we all know how fast governments work <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[Mockingbird]

I might get attacked for saying this, but have you talked to your parents? You said you and your boyfriend thought it was time to live together, and you and your boyfriend spoke about buying a house, but you didn't say anything about what your parents thought. I think they are in a better position to offer advice than anyone here.

 

[Mockingbird]

I might get attacked for saying this, but have you talked to your parents? You said you and your boyfriend thought it was time to live together, and you and your boyfriend spoke about buying a house, but you didn't say anything about what your parents thought. I think they are in a better position to offer advice than anyone here.