my family doesnt care if I am dying of c.f.

[clinging2faith]

I had previously writen about how in many ways I felt neglected by much and many people in my environment. Each of us has different circumstances and my blood family is withering away so it has been hard to cope with my cf and the loss of many family members that I adored and whom always unconditionally supported me. This last week I felt very sad and got vrey negative about much, after all grief is much more than a word. I have had the patient of a saint but even saints can loose it at one point in their lives. So I found this site and I joined and ..

Well I would like to thank all the members here that have contributed to making me feel less lonely at a difficult time in my life.

Than you all, I am deeply touched by your answers, and pls do know that it all has helped me much to get by this week.

I am not always negative as my first post here. It just was a lot of grief this week between my dad's death and his sister's, my favorite aunt and biggest supporter against dying from c.f.
i'd like to add that progress is happening with my daughter too.

I pray blessings come upon you all and that you keep the good spirits up through trials , that as long as I can type I will be here too. To support you all and encourage you.

With care,

Mary

 

[clinging2faith]

I had previously writen about how in many ways I felt neglected by much and many people in my environment. Each of us has different circumstances and my blood family is withering away so it has been hard to cope with my cf and the loss of many family members that I adored and whom always unconditionally supported me. This last week I felt very sad and got vrey negative about much, after all grief is much more than a word. I have had the patient of a saint but even saints can loose it at one point in their lives. So I found this site and I joined and ..

Well I would like to thank all the members here that have contributed to making me feel less lonely at a difficult time in my life.

Than you all, I am deeply touched by your answers, and pls do know that it all has helped me much to get by this week.

I am not always negative as my first post here. It just was a lot of grief this week between my dad's death and his sister's, my favorite aunt and biggest supporter against dying from c.f.
i'd like to add that progress is happening with my daughter too.

I pray blessings come upon you all and that you keep the good spirits up through trials , that as long as I can type I will be here too. To support you all and encourage you.

With care,

Mary

 

[clinging2faith]

I had previously writen about how in many ways I felt neglected by much and many people in my environment. Each of us has different circumstances and my blood family is withering away so it has been hard to cope with my cf and the loss of many family members that I adored and whom always unconditionally supported me. This last week I felt very sad and got vrey negative about much, after all grief is much more than a word. I have had the patient of a saint but even saints can loose it at one point in their lives. So I found this site and I joined and ..

Well I would like to thank all the members here that have contributed to making me feel less lonely at a difficult time in my life.

Than you all, I am deeply touched by your answers, and pls do know that it all has helped me much to get by this week.

I am not always negative as my first post here. It just was a lot of grief this week between my dad's death and his sister's, my favorite aunt and biggest supporter against dying from c.f.
i'd like to add that progress is happening with my daughter too.

I pray blessings come upon you all and that you keep the good spirits up through trials , that as long as I can type I will be here too. To support you all and encourage you.

With care,

Mary

 

[Dreamer]

I am sorry to read everything that you are going through.

There are people who will love you regardless of CF. If I were you, I would try to find those people. Not everyone out there will treat you the way it sounds like you're being treated. Try to go out and meet new people and I guarantee that you will meet someone who is understanding and helpful regarding your CF.

In the mean time, I think you should do things you love. Working on projects or acquiring a new hobby are things that will pass the time and make you happy. Although happiness is definitely reflective of how others are treating you, you can try to make yourself happy, too. The happier you are with yourself, the happier you'll be with the people around you.

You mentioned in your post that you have wanted to start over. You <i>can</i> start over! That's why it's <i>your</i> life and not somebody else's! Do what you want with it; it's never too late to head in the direction that you want.

Once again, I wish that things didn't seem so saddening for you right now, but I know that there are good things to come. Life is always a series of ups and downs and, if you put your mind to it, I guarantee that you will be able to get out of this 'down' that you're experiencing.

Best of luck!

 

[Dreamer]

I am sorry to read everything that you are going through.

There are people who will love you regardless of CF. If I were you, I would try to find those people. Not everyone out there will treat you the way it sounds like you're being treated. Try to go out and meet new people and I guarantee that you will meet someone who is understanding and helpful regarding your CF.

In the mean time, I think you should do things you love. Working on projects or acquiring a new hobby are things that will pass the time and make you happy. Although happiness is definitely reflective of how others are treating you, you can try to make yourself happy, too. The happier you are with yourself, the happier you'll be with the people around you.

You mentioned in your post that you have wanted to start over. You <i>can</i> start over! That's why it's <i>your</i> life and not somebody else's! Do what you want with it; it's never too late to head in the direction that you want.

Once again, I wish that things didn't seem so saddening for you right now, but I know that there are good things to come. Life is always a series of ups and downs and, if you put your mind to it, I guarantee that you will be able to get out of this 'down' that you're experiencing.

Best of luck!

 

[Dreamer]

I am sorry to read everything that you are going through.

There are people who will love you regardless of CF. If I were you, I would try to find those people. Not everyone out there will treat you the way it sounds like you're being treated. Try to go out and meet new people and I guarantee that you will meet someone who is understanding and helpful regarding your CF.

In the mean time, I think you should do things you love. Working on projects or acquiring a new hobby are things that will pass the time and make you happy. Although happiness is definitely reflective of how others are treating you, you can try to make yourself happy, too. The happier you are with yourself, the happier you'll be with the people around you.

You mentioned in your post that you have wanted to start over. You <i>can</i> start over! That's why it's <i>your</i> life and not somebody else's! Do what you want with it; it's never too late to head in the direction that you want.

Once again, I wish that things didn't seem so saddening for you right now, but I know that there are good things to come. Life is always a series of ups and downs and, if you put your mind to it, I guarantee that you will be able to get out of this 'down' that you're experiencing.

Best of luck!

 

[Dreamer]

I thought of one other thing to add. Different people have different ways of dealing with things. Some people in your family may have chosen to distance themselves because they can't bear to see you suffer so much. You never really know what another person's motivations are, so keep in mind that they may be acting this way because they love you. I know that this sounds ironic, but sometimes people may love you so much that it's hard to see you. Especially in the hospital.

Just a thought...

Take care!

 

[Dreamer]

I thought of one other thing to add. Different people have different ways of dealing with things. Some people in your family may have chosen to distance themselves because they can't bear to see you suffer so much. You never really know what another person's motivations are, so keep in mind that they may be acting this way because they love you. I know that this sounds ironic, but sometimes people may love you so much that it's hard to see you. Especially in the hospital.

Just a thought...

Take care!

 

[Dreamer]

I thought of one other thing to add. Different people have different ways of dealing with things. Some people in your family may have chosen to distance themselves because they can't bear to see you suffer so much. You never really know what another person's motivations are, so keep in mind that they may be acting this way because they love you. I know that this sounds ironic, but sometimes people may love you so much that it's hard to see you. Especially in the hospital.

Just a thought...

Take care!

 

[clinging2faith]

I really want to thank you for your msg.
i am not in such a positive mood bc im going to thehospital and thats the last place i want to be in. I just came out of another one a month ago. About my daughter, its not love why she mistreats me, I know that much. But thats another can of worms.
I am just glad i found this site so i can talk and ask about other's cf and get to know people that understand what i go through, and looks like many have it even worse.
I just hate having cf now , its been a long haul, and my time has changed all for me and my family. Nothng is the same. I realized that today. So today I am very negative. I feel like life was punched out of me, as if someone had literally taken a punch at my gut. That's how i've felt all day long. Its emotional now all taken its toll on me. If I add the factors mentioned , it becomes ahuge thing for me to feel anymore. Im resting from it tonight though. Hoping tomorrow is a new day.

THank you so much for your msgs.
Mary 44/cf

 

[clinging2faith]

I really want to thank you for your msg.
i am not in such a positive mood bc im going to thehospital and thats the last place i want to be in. I just came out of another one a month ago. About my daughter, its not love why she mistreats me, I know that much. But thats another can of worms.
I am just glad i found this site so i can talk and ask about other's cf and get to know people that understand what i go through, and looks like many have it even worse.
I just hate having cf now , its been a long haul, and my time has changed all for me and my family. Nothng is the same. I realized that today. So today I am very negative. I feel like life was punched out of me, as if someone had literally taken a punch at my gut. That's how i've felt all day long. Its emotional now all taken its toll on me. If I add the factors mentioned , it becomes ahuge thing for me to feel anymore. Im resting from it tonight though. Hoping tomorrow is a new day.

THank you so much for your msgs.
Mary 44/cf

 

[clinging2faith]

I really want to thank you for your msg.
i am not in such a positive mood bc im going to thehospital and thats the last place i want to be in. I just came out of another one a month ago. About my daughter, its not love why she mistreats me, I know that much. But thats another can of worms.
I am just glad i found this site so i can talk and ask about other's cf and get to know people that understand what i go through, and looks like many have it even worse.
I just hate having cf now , its been a long haul, and my time has changed all for me and my family. Nothng is the same. I realized that today. So today I am very negative. I feel like life was punched out of me, as if someone had literally taken a punch at my gut. That's how i've felt all day long. Its emotional now all taken its toll on me. If I add the factors mentioned , it becomes ahuge thing for me to feel anymore. Im resting from it tonight though. Hoping tomorrow is a new day.

THank you so much for your msgs.
Mary 44/cf

 

[Dreamer]

Coming from my experience and the experience of CFers I talk with frequently, I think that those funks are normal. It's normal to get negative and down about it sometimes. Even people without CF come to a point where they have reached their limit and feel completely exhausted and down about life. I definitely go through times where I am so sick of having CF, but things always seem to pick back up as soon as I can move past them.

The hospital isn't a place that would make many people happy, but maybe you could do some things in there that you don't typically find time for. You could read books that you've been wanting to read, you could try to draft letters to family members explaining how you feel, or you could even brainstorm a list of goals that you want to achieve and start fresh when you come out. You mentioned in the first post about starting fresh and maybe you could do that as you are released from your upcoming hospital stay. From reading your posts, it sounds like you're extremely overwhelmed, so possibly the hospital will be good for you to clear your head and start with a clean slate.

I know what it can be like to go through periods where you just don't think you can do it anymore. It's tough and some days do feel like they're never going to end and life's never going to get better, but that's just part of the emotional aspect of dealing with something like CF (and I can't even imagine how it would be adding in your factors).

I hope things begin to get better. In the mean time, keep your chin up!

 

[Dreamer]

Coming from my experience and the experience of CFers I talk with frequently, I think that those funks are normal. It's normal to get negative and down about it sometimes. Even people without CF come to a point where they have reached their limit and feel completely exhausted and down about life. I definitely go through times where I am so sick of having CF, but things always seem to pick back up as soon as I can move past them.

The hospital isn't a place that would make many people happy, but maybe you could do some things in there that you don't typically find time for. You could read books that you've been wanting to read, you could try to draft letters to family members explaining how you feel, or you could even brainstorm a list of goals that you want to achieve and start fresh when you come out. You mentioned in the first post about starting fresh and maybe you could do that as you are released from your upcoming hospital stay. From reading your posts, it sounds like you're extremely overwhelmed, so possibly the hospital will be good for you to clear your head and start with a clean slate.

I know what it can be like to go through periods where you just don't think you can do it anymore. It's tough and some days do feel like they're never going to end and life's never going to get better, but that's just part of the emotional aspect of dealing with something like CF (and I can't even imagine how it would be adding in your factors).

I hope things begin to get better. In the mean time, keep your chin up!

 

[Dreamer]

Coming from my experience and the experience of CFers I talk with frequently, I think that those funks are normal. It's normal to get negative and down about it sometimes. Even people without CF come to a point where they have reached their limit and feel completely exhausted and down about life. I definitely go through times where I am so sick of having CF, but things always seem to pick back up as soon as I can move past them.

The hospital isn't a place that would make many people happy, but maybe you could do some things in there that you don't typically find time for. You could read books that you've been wanting to read, you could try to draft letters to family members explaining how you feel, or you could even brainstorm a list of goals that you want to achieve and start fresh when you come out. You mentioned in the first post about starting fresh and maybe you could do that as you are released from your upcoming hospital stay. From reading your posts, it sounds like you're extremely overwhelmed, so possibly the hospital will be good for you to clear your head and start with a clean slate.

I know what it can be like to go through periods where you just don't think you can do it anymore. It's tough and some days do feel like they're never going to end and life's never going to get better, but that's just part of the emotional aspect of dealing with something like CF (and I can't even imagine how it would be adding in your factors).

I hope things begin to get better. In the mean time, keep your chin up!

 

[clinging2faith]

Thank you Drew!
I have read your msgs and I am taking all into account. It does mean a lot to me hearing from others.
I take it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour or minute at a time.
The part i dont want to do is going to the hospital.
I dont know that its going to help much anyway, I always wither away when in hospitals and with picc lines. At least at home I can do things and move about a bit. In a hospital its just a room and most likely I won't get up from the bed that much, which makes me weaker.

Though I am thinking of all you said and again I want to thank you for these msgs.

I feel better today, just you are right, overwhelmed a bit too.

Mary 44, cf

 

[clinging2faith]

Thank you Drew!
I have read your msgs and I am taking all into account. It does mean a lot to me hearing from others.
I take it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour or minute at a time.
The part i dont want to do is going to the hospital.
I dont know that its going to help much anyway, I always wither away when in hospitals and with picc lines. At least at home I can do things and move about a bit. In a hospital its just a room and most likely I won't get up from the bed that much, which makes me weaker.

Though I am thinking of all you said and again I want to thank you for these msgs.

I feel better today, just you are right, overwhelmed a bit too.

Mary 44, cf

 

[clinging2faith]

Thank you Drew!
I have read your msgs and I am taking all into account. It does mean a lot to me hearing from others.
I take it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour or minute at a time.
The part i dont want to do is going to the hospital.
I dont know that its going to help much anyway, I always wither away when in hospitals and with picc lines. At least at home I can do things and move about a bit. In a hospital its just a room and most likely I won't get up from the bed that much, which makes me weaker.

Though I am thinking of all you said and again I want to thank you for these msgs.

I feel better today, just you are right, overwhelmed a bit too.

Mary 44, cf

 

[Dreamer]

I understand exactly what you mean regarding the hospital. When I was in the hospital, I got worse. I couldn't move around like I usually would and the doctors agreed. They thought that maybe the lack of activity was bringing me down. Have you spoken with your doctor about doing IVs at home? I think that is a better alternative for some people. Although rest is still important, some people are more comfortable doing them at home.

Sometimes it is better to take each day at a time. It can be easier that way. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." Planning can be good, but living for the day is good, too. I think that once you find a balance between those two, it will help a lot.

I'm glad to read that you're feeling better today. Each day things tend to get a bit easier! Hope you have a great rest of the day!

 

[Dreamer]

I understand exactly what you mean regarding the hospital. When I was in the hospital, I got worse. I couldn't move around like I usually would and the doctors agreed. They thought that maybe the lack of activity was bringing me down. Have you spoken with your doctor about doing IVs at home? I think that is a better alternative for some people. Although rest is still important, some people are more comfortable doing them at home.

Sometimes it is better to take each day at a time. It can be easier that way. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." Planning can be good, but living for the day is good, too. I think that once you find a balance between those two, it will help a lot.

I'm glad to read that you're feeling better today. Each day things tend to get a bit easier! Hope you have a great rest of the day!