My Former Student Died of CF

[Jeana]

Sometimes when I log on I see another CFer has gotten their angel wings and it makes me sad, but so far it hasn't been someone I corresponded with, so I haven't opened the post. I think part of the reason, too, is that reading about CFers dying makes me think more about my own mortality, specifically in regards to CF.

Anyway, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I got up and was on the this forum. Then, I began thinking about a former student of mine that had CF. I looked her up on the internet, because her ambition was to become a doctor and I thought she might be on there somewhere. Sure enough, she was, but what I was reading was her obituary, complete with picture, so I knew it was her. Of course, she died of complications from CF. And, she had been pursuing her dream to become a doctor and had been married. Anyway, it made me really sad. She was only 23. This is actually the second student of mine to die. The first one died in a car accident, but this one really hits home because she had CF.

So how does everyone deal with this? Not just dealing with death, but the death of someone with our disease.

 

[Jeana]

Sometimes when I log on I see another CFer has gotten their angel wings and it makes me sad, but so far it hasn't been someone I corresponded with, so I haven't opened the post. I think part of the reason, too, is that reading about CFers dying makes me think more about my own mortality, specifically in regards to CF.

Anyway, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I got up and was on the this forum. Then, I began thinking about a former student of mine that had CF. I looked her up on the internet, because her ambition was to become a doctor and I thought she might be on there somewhere. Sure enough, she was, but what I was reading was her obituary, complete with picture, so I knew it was her. Of course, she died of complications from CF. And, she had been pursuing her dream to become a doctor and had been married. Anyway, it made me really sad. She was only 23. This is actually the second student of mine to die. The first one died in a car accident, but this one really hits home because she had CF.

So how does everyone deal with this? Not just dealing with death, but the death of someone with our disease.

 

[Jeana]

Sometimes when I log on I see another CFer has gotten their angel wings and it makes me sad, but so far it hasn't been someone I corresponded with, so I haven't opened the post. I think part of the reason, too, is that reading about CFers dying makes me think more about my own mortality, specifically in regards to CF.

Anyway, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I got up and was on the this forum. Then, I began thinking about a former student of mine that had CF. I looked her up on the internet, because her ambition was to become a doctor and I thought she might be on there somewhere. Sure enough, she was, but what I was reading was her obituary, complete with picture, so I knew it was her. Of course, she died of complications from CF. And, she had been pursuing her dream to become a doctor and had been married. Anyway, it made me really sad. She was only 23. This is actually the second student of mine to die. The first one died in a car accident, but this one really hits home because she had CF.

So how does everyone deal with this? Not just dealing with death, but the death of someone with our disease.

 

[Jeana]

Sometimes when I log on I see another CFer has gotten their angel wings and it makes me sad, but so far it hasn't been someone I corresponded with, so I haven't opened the post. I think part of the reason, too, is that reading about CFers dying makes me think more about my own mortality, specifically in regards to CF.

Anyway, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I got up and was on the this forum. Then, I began thinking about a former student of mine that had CF. I looked her up on the internet, because her ambition was to become a doctor and I thought she might be on there somewhere. Sure enough, she was, but what I was reading was her obituary, complete with picture, so I knew it was her. Of course, she died of complications from CF. And, she had been pursuing her dream to become a doctor and had been married. Anyway, it made me really sad. She was only 23. This is actually the second student of mine to die. The first one died in a car accident, but this one really hits home because she had CF.

So how does everyone deal with this? Not just dealing with death, but the death of someone with our disease.

 

[Jeana]

Sometimes when I log on I see another CFer has gotten their angel wings and it makes me sad, but so far it hasn't been someone I corresponded with, so I haven't opened the post. I think part of the reason, too, is that reading about CFers dying makes me think more about my own mortality, specifically in regards to CF.
<br />
<br />Anyway, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I got up and was on the this forum. Then, I began thinking about a former student of mine that had CF. I looked her up on the internet, because her ambition was to become a doctor and I thought she might be on there somewhere. Sure enough, she was, but what I was reading was her obituary, complete with picture, so I knew it was her. Of course, she died of complications from CF. And, she had been pursuing her dream to become a doctor and had been married. Anyway, it made me really sad. She was only 23. This is actually the second student of mine to die. The first one died in a car accident, but this one really hits home because she had CF.
<br />
<br />So how does everyone deal with this? Not just dealing with death, but the death of someone with our disease.

 

[dbtoo]

You come to a realization that while their physical presence cannot be with you any longer, their heart, soul, and spirit will live on within you forever.

That's where my 'song'
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=23189&catid=1953">CF Angel</a> originates from.

 

[dbtoo]

You come to a realization that while their physical presence cannot be with you any longer, their heart, soul, and spirit will live on within you forever.

That's where my 'song'
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=23189&catid=1953">CF Angel</a> originates from.

 

[dbtoo]

You come to a realization that while their physical presence cannot be with you any longer, their heart, soul, and spirit will live on within you forever.

That's where my 'song'
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=23189&catid=1953">CF Angel</a> originates from.

 

[dbtoo]

You come to a realization that while their physical presence cannot be with you any longer, their heart, soul, and spirit will live on within you forever.

That's where my 'song'
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=23189&catid=1953">CF Angel</a> originates from.

 

[dbtoo]

You come to a realization that while their physical presence cannot be with you any longer, their heart, soul, and spirit will live on within you forever.
<br />
<br />That's where my 'song'
<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=23189&catid=1953">CF Angel</a> originates from.

 

[welshwitch]

I give myself a break. it's imperative that I change perspective.

The human mind is so powerful, and it's so easy to jump to bad and scary conclusions. It's like, "she died of CF at x age, so I only have y years to live." THis type of thinking is toxic. It will kill your spirit.

I fully believe in addressing my CF and not living in denial about it, BUT I think there is such thing as "too much CF." When I start feeling really down about CF that is brought on by bad news about myself, others, etc. it is time to take a break.

I took a one week break from this site when I went to Amsterdam last week. It was so cleansing. In fact, I basically took a break from CF. I let myself live my life, realized that I am healthy and happy, and also realized the fact that I have a tendancy to burn out on CF. I vowed to log on here less and just enjoy my life, without worrying about CF.

I'm already back on (LOL!) but I wanted to address your post before I take a break--I completely agree. Don't drive yourself crazy with the WHAT IFs!!!

 

[welshwitch]

I give myself a break. it's imperative that I change perspective.

The human mind is so powerful, and it's so easy to jump to bad and scary conclusions. It's like, "she died of CF at x age, so I only have y years to live." THis type of thinking is toxic. It will kill your spirit.

I fully believe in addressing my CF and not living in denial about it, BUT I think there is such thing as "too much CF." When I start feeling really down about CF that is brought on by bad news about myself, others, etc. it is time to take a break.

I took a one week break from this site when I went to Amsterdam last week. It was so cleansing. In fact, I basically took a break from CF. I let myself live my life, realized that I am healthy and happy, and also realized the fact that I have a tendancy to burn out on CF. I vowed to log on here less and just enjoy my life, without worrying about CF.

I'm already back on (LOL!) but I wanted to address your post before I take a break--I completely agree. Don't drive yourself crazy with the WHAT IFs!!!

 

[welshwitch]

I give myself a break. it's imperative that I change perspective.

The human mind is so powerful, and it's so easy to jump to bad and scary conclusions. It's like, "she died of CF at x age, so I only have y years to live." THis type of thinking is toxic. It will kill your spirit.

I fully believe in addressing my CF and not living in denial about it, BUT I think there is such thing as "too much CF." When I start feeling really down about CF that is brought on by bad news about myself, others, etc. it is time to take a break.

I took a one week break from this site when I went to Amsterdam last week. It was so cleansing. In fact, I basically took a break from CF. I let myself live my life, realized that I am healthy and happy, and also realized the fact that I have a tendancy to burn out on CF. I vowed to log on here less and just enjoy my life, without worrying about CF.

I'm already back on (LOL!) but I wanted to address your post before I take a break--I completely agree. Don't drive yourself crazy with the WHAT IFs!!!

 

[welshwitch]

I give myself a break. it's imperative that I change perspective.

The human mind is so powerful, and it's so easy to jump to bad and scary conclusions. It's like, "she died of CF at x age, so I only have y years to live." THis type of thinking is toxic. It will kill your spirit.

I fully believe in addressing my CF and not living in denial about it, BUT I think there is such thing as "too much CF." When I start feeling really down about CF that is brought on by bad news about myself, others, etc. it is time to take a break.

I took a one week break from this site when I went to Amsterdam last week. It was so cleansing. In fact, I basically took a break from CF. I let myself live my life, realized that I am healthy and happy, and also realized the fact that I have a tendancy to burn out on CF. I vowed to log on here less and just enjoy my life, without worrying about CF.

I'm already back on (LOL!) but I wanted to address your post before I take a break--I completely agree. Don't drive yourself crazy with the WHAT IFs!!!

 

[welshwitch]

I give myself a break. it's imperative that I change perspective.
<br />
<br />The human mind is so powerful, and it's so easy to jump to bad and scary conclusions. It's like, "she died of CF at x age, so I only have y years to live." THis type of thinking is toxic. It will kill your spirit.
<br />
<br />I fully believe in addressing my CF and not living in denial about it, BUT I think there is such thing as "too much CF." When I start feeling really down about CF that is brought on by bad news about myself, others, etc. it is time to take a break.
<br />
<br />I took a one week break from this site when I went to Amsterdam last week. It was so cleansing. In fact, I basically took a break from CF. I let myself live my life, realized that I am healthy and happy, and also realized the fact that I have a tendancy to burn out on CF. I vowed to log on here less and just enjoy my life, without worrying about CF.
<br />
<br />I'm already back on (LOL!) but I wanted to address your post before I take a break--I completely agree. Don't drive yourself crazy with the WHAT IFs!!!
<br />

 

[NYCLawGirl]

dealing with the deaths of fellow cystics is one of the hardest parts of having this disease, in my opinion. like many of us who were diagnosed as infants, i made a number of friends with cf growing up - not through camp, but through the hospital and clinics back before infection protocol was so strict. and many of them are no longer here, unfortunately. it never seems to get any easier - every single time is just as tragic, unfair, and, yes, scary as the time before it.

as tough as it is though, i think it's actually part of the beauty of knowing others with our disease. we get to support each other through the hard times, and that means supporting each other as some of us move on to new journeys, whether that be through transplant or through gaining their wings. and even though it's hard as hell to be the ones left behind who have to keep fighting this disease even in the fce of fear and the knowledge that young lives are being claimed every day, it oddly gives me motivation - knowing that i have friends who have fought their fight and are now resting makes me want to fight harder, keep pushing, enjoy every moment of life, and most of all: CURE THIS DISEASE! i feel like i owe that much to all my fellow cfers, those gone and those still with us.

we are affected by deaths not just because the person had cf, but because the person touched our lives. i personally am grateful for every cystic (and every person in general) who has touched me in that way. and just as we all live differently, so we all pass differently and at different times - i've had too many friends pass along the way while i survived (sometimes even friends who seemed to be "healthier" or who were more compliant than i was) to think otherwise. it's one of the main reasons i don't pay attention to life expectancy numbers and more.

i'm so sorry to hear about your student. i hope she's breathing easy now.

 

[NYCLawGirl]

dealing with the deaths of fellow cystics is one of the hardest parts of having this disease, in my opinion. like many of us who were diagnosed as infants, i made a number of friends with cf growing up - not through camp, but through the hospital and clinics back before infection protocol was so strict. and many of them are no longer here, unfortunately. it never seems to get any easier - every single time is just as tragic, unfair, and, yes, scary as the time before it.

as tough as it is though, i think it's actually part of the beauty of knowing others with our disease. we get to support each other through the hard times, and that means supporting each other as some of us move on to new journeys, whether that be through transplant or through gaining their wings. and even though it's hard as hell to be the ones left behind who have to keep fighting this disease even in the fce of fear and the knowledge that young lives are being claimed every day, it oddly gives me motivation - knowing that i have friends who have fought their fight and are now resting makes me want to fight harder, keep pushing, enjoy every moment of life, and most of all: CURE THIS DISEASE! i feel like i owe that much to all my fellow cfers, those gone and those still with us.

we are affected by deaths not just because the person had cf, but because the person touched our lives. i personally am grateful for every cystic (and every person in general) who has touched me in that way. and just as we all live differently, so we all pass differently and at different times - i've had too many friends pass along the way while i survived (sometimes even friends who seemed to be "healthier" or who were more compliant than i was) to think otherwise. it's one of the main reasons i don't pay attention to life expectancy numbers and more.

i'm so sorry to hear about your student. i hope she's breathing easy now.

 

[NYCLawGirl]

dealing with the deaths of fellow cystics is one of the hardest parts of having this disease, in my opinion. like many of us who were diagnosed as infants, i made a number of friends with cf growing up - not through camp, but through the hospital and clinics back before infection protocol was so strict. and many of them are no longer here, unfortunately. it never seems to get any easier - every single time is just as tragic, unfair, and, yes, scary as the time before it.

as tough as it is though, i think it's actually part of the beauty of knowing others with our disease. we get to support each other through the hard times, and that means supporting each other as some of us move on to new journeys, whether that be through transplant or through gaining their wings. and even though it's hard as hell to be the ones left behind who have to keep fighting this disease even in the fce of fear and the knowledge that young lives are being claimed every day, it oddly gives me motivation - knowing that i have friends who have fought their fight and are now resting makes me want to fight harder, keep pushing, enjoy every moment of life, and most of all: CURE THIS DISEASE! i feel like i owe that much to all my fellow cfers, those gone and those still with us.

we are affected by deaths not just because the person had cf, but because the person touched our lives. i personally am grateful for every cystic (and every person in general) who has touched me in that way. and just as we all live differently, so we all pass differently and at different times - i've had too many friends pass along the way while i survived (sometimes even friends who seemed to be "healthier" or who were more compliant than i was) to think otherwise. it's one of the main reasons i don't pay attention to life expectancy numbers and more.

i'm so sorry to hear about your student. i hope she's breathing easy now.

 

[NYCLawGirl]

dealing with the deaths of fellow cystics is one of the hardest parts of having this disease, in my opinion. like many of us who were diagnosed as infants, i made a number of friends with cf growing up - not through camp, but through the hospital and clinics back before infection protocol was so strict. and many of them are no longer here, unfortunately. it never seems to get any easier - every single time is just as tragic, unfair, and, yes, scary as the time before it.

as tough as it is though, i think it's actually part of the beauty of knowing others with our disease. we get to support each other through the hard times, and that means supporting each other as some of us move on to new journeys, whether that be through transplant or through gaining their wings. and even though it's hard as hell to be the ones left behind who have to keep fighting this disease even in the fce of fear and the knowledge that young lives are being claimed every day, it oddly gives me motivation - knowing that i have friends who have fought their fight and are now resting makes me want to fight harder, keep pushing, enjoy every moment of life, and most of all: CURE THIS DISEASE! i feel like i owe that much to all my fellow cfers, those gone and those still with us.

we are affected by deaths not just because the person had cf, but because the person touched our lives. i personally am grateful for every cystic (and every person in general) who has touched me in that way. and just as we all live differently, so we all pass differently and at different times - i've had too many friends pass along the way while i survived (sometimes even friends who seemed to be "healthier" or who were more compliant than i was) to think otherwise. it's one of the main reasons i don't pay attention to life expectancy numbers and more.

i'm so sorry to hear about your student. i hope she's breathing easy now.

 

[NYCLawGirl]

dealing with the deaths of fellow cystics is one of the hardest parts of having this disease, in my opinion. like many of us who were diagnosed as infants, i made a number of friends with cf growing up - not through camp, but through the hospital and clinics back before infection protocol was so strict. and many of them are no longer here, unfortunately. it never seems to get any easier - every single time is just as tragic, unfair, and, yes, scary as the time before it.
<br />
<br />as tough as it is though, i think it's actually part of the beauty of knowing others with our disease. we get to support each other through the hard times, and that means supporting each other as some of us move on to new journeys, whether that be through transplant or through gaining their wings. and even though it's hard as hell to be the ones left behind who have to keep fighting this disease even in the fce of fear and the knowledge that young lives are being claimed every day, it oddly gives me motivation - knowing that i have friends who have fought their fight and are now resting makes me want to fight harder, keep pushing, enjoy every moment of life, and most of all: CURE THIS DISEASE! i feel like i owe that much to all my fellow cfers, those gone and those still with us.
<br />
<br />we are affected by deaths not just because the person had cf, but because the person touched our lives. i personally am grateful for every cystic (and every person in general) who has touched me in that way. and just as we all live differently, so we all pass differently and at different times - i've had too many friends pass along the way while i survived (sometimes even friends who seemed to be "healthier" or who were more compliant than i was) to think otherwise. it's one of the main reasons i don't pay attention to life expectancy numbers and more.
<br />
<br />i'm so sorry to hear about your student. i hope she's breathing easy now.