Hi I need help, my husband has never diagnosed with CF because he is scared to know the answer. He had 2 sisters that have passed away and we have been told our 3 kids have a typical. With that being said he had to have a physical done for work he has been healthy lately he has changed his diet working out and has lost 10 lbs. ( which is not a bad thing). But when he had to do his pft he needed 80 and he could only get a 73. I have been worried for many years now I have proof that I should be my question is how can I help him raise his pfts and what does this mean? My kids haven't started pfts yet we start in Oct. Thank you
Need Help With My Husband
- Thread starter cgerhardt
- Start date
OMG. He is an idiot and tell him I said so. If he continues on the path he is on, he too will pass away with CF. If he will go to a CF Center and see a CF Specialist, he can be treated.
There are alot of us on here who are over 50 and even into out 60's and 70's.
He has lung damage, that is why he has low PFT's. This damage can be stopped and even reversed but not without medication and treatment.
He needs to face up to the idea that if he continues on thr track that he is on, you will be a widow and his children will be Fatherless.
Bill
There are alot of us on here who are over 50 and even into out 60's and 70's.
He has lung damage, that is why he has low PFT's. This damage can be stopped and even reversed but not without medication and treatment.
He needs to face up to the idea that if he continues on thr track that he is on, you will be a widow and his children will be Fatherless.
Bill
concernedmom
New member
He definitely should be evaluated considering his family history! I'd just stress that you and the children need him to be as healthy as he possibly can be and that means finding out whether he has cf or not (so that he can be treated if he does.) In my experience, many men take their role as provider very seriously. If you appeal to him from the view that you need him here to provide or help provide for you and the children, maybe you'll have better luck? Emotional pleas do not motivate my husband. Rational pleas based on financial or physical needs is a much better motivator for my hubby.
That said, I wouldn't assume that he definitely has cf. PFTs of 73 can be caused by things other than cf (asthma, restrictive lung disease, etc.) While his family history certainly puts cf in the top spot, there is still the possibility that it's something else. I'm thinking he has unresolved fear and hurt related to his siblings' cf & deaths that he's not dealing with. Maybe working through those feelings AND hearing about cfers who've lived long, productive lives may help? I guess another option is to request through your kids' cf center, a full test through Ambry or Quest for your hubby under the guise of finding your children's mutations?
However you proceed, good luck!
That said, I wouldn't assume that he definitely has cf. PFTs of 73 can be caused by things other than cf (asthma, restrictive lung disease, etc.) While his family history certainly puts cf in the top spot, there is still the possibility that it's something else. I'm thinking he has unresolved fear and hurt related to his siblings' cf & deaths that he's not dealing with. Maybe working through those feelings AND hearing about cfers who've lived long, productive lives may help? I guess another option is to request through your kids' cf center, a full test through Ambry or Quest for your hubby under the guise of finding your children's mutations?
However you proceed, good luck!
Gentrygirl
New member
Bill, you always crack me up. Love it! Yeah, I'll jump on board here. I think he's being a little selfish- there are other people involved that he needs to consider. I think if both siblings were diagnosed with CF, and if all 3 kids are diagnosed with CF, the likelihood is high for him, obviously. Why worry about something if it can be remedied? And what is the use of worrying about something if it cannot be remedied? He must simply choose to remedy it. If he has thrived this long without care, he has excellent chances to improve his health with care. ...and after you tell him Bill yelled at him, you can tell him I think he's being selfish and that he needs to set a good example for the kids about not quitting. Good luck!
Aboveallislove
Super Moderator
From a wife's perspective, the "yell" Bill did is what I feel. But from the wife's perspective: yelling at my husband never gets him to do what he should do or what I want, even if I am right. It's a flight or fight response. And that would likely be doubly-so if I came back with "I asked people and they said x,y,z." So emotions to the side and knowing you are right, the question is how to get him to come along. The Love & Logic of parenting works well with adults too--ask questions, especially ones with consequences. A few thought and you likely already tried, but I'll throw out anyway: Ask him why he doesn't want to get tested? Ask him if he knows of the current great medicines that help? Ask him if there is anything you can say that would help him feel that he could get tested because you want to make sure that if he dies young and leave the kids without a father you know you did everything possible. Ask him to discuss financial plans for life without him. All in a genuine concerned tone, ala: "Honey, could we talk about something that is making me worry alot. I really worry what I would do to take care of Jon and Susie if your lungs continue to get worse and you can't work or if you die. Do you have any ideas?" And who knows a genuine request for him to get himself tested as a Christmas present (or bday present) for you because you love him so much and want him to be healthy and with you as long as possible. I know for me I'd have a hard time saying no to someone I loved who asked me that with love in their eyes. I'd have a much easier time saying no to doing something I was scared to death to do anyway because of the agony of losing my two sibblings, if instead someone called me a selfish SOB.
Hugs and prayers.
Hugs and prayers.
beautifulsoul
Super Moderator
DO SOMETHING. Before it worsens. I agree with Bill and Tom. Sorry for all the harsh ness.
LOL Tom ... Cgerhardt, I hope that your husband considers getting tested so that you (& he) will know once & for all if he has CF or not & he can start taking proper care of himself & you can know that he is doing his best to stay as healthy as possible.. Take care , joni
Aboveallislove
Super Moderator
I just re-read your question and see you were asking really for how to raise pft. There are lots of ways but to do many will require prescriptions. Alburterol/Xopenex, hyper-tonic saline, pulmozyme, vest or other chest percussion, antibiotics if he is culturing things. all of those will raise his pfa and allow him to get to the 80% he needs for his physical. And then lots of exercise as well. But you'll have a hard time getting a doctor to prescribe anything without some additional testing. Good luck.
B
BikerEd
Guest
HMMM wow this a bit of a first for me.. 1) Bill and Tom agree on something, 2) as a husband, yeah when my wife get’s on my butt about anything I all of a sudden think of some work I have to do to my Bike, Truck, toe nails, anything. However, after a heart to heart and the look of concern in my kids eye’s changed a lot for me; especially when my PFT’s got into the 30’s (they are back up now). given the fact that you have 3 biological children he might feel more open to the fact that he may be a “symptomatic carrier” this can cause asthma, low PFT’s etc. but it is NOT CF. Or on the other hand he is in that very rare 1% that has CF and Has Bio Children. Either way he should have a Genetic Run Down, sweat test almost always reveal false on SC (symptomatic carriers). He owes it to himself, as a father and a husband. And as a father and a husband I’ve been scared many a time; It usually starts with (wife) “I was out and picked up a couple of things at Kohl’s, they were on sale”; (daughters) “you’ll really like him he so sweet”… But as for raising the PFT’s before med’s, exercise, Sing real loud, do Karaoke, take a 30 minute walk nightly, and most of all, kill the fear of the unknown. Stress hurts me more than a 4 y/o strait out of the day care center, just saying. Best of luck.
Thank you all for everything you have said. I do know that he is am idiot I just wish he knew. He had promised that he would go to the doctors and get a full work up.... that was until today when the STUPID doctor he went to for a follow up from last week told him he has nothing to worry about he is fine that he has no signs of asthma or lung disease. So thank you all again and I will just pray that I can get him to go get a follow up with a real doctor.