Need Input From Caregivers

J

JennifersHope

New member
Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... I hope more people respond honestly and give good suggestions..

I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER.. I have been working really hard on not doing that anymore and it so far is working a little bit for me....

I do feel guilty for my illness and I am trying to learn not to but that is also hard for me...

Thanks as always for you input... I hope more ppl chime in
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... I hope more people respond honestly and give good suggestions..

I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER.. I have been working really hard on not doing that anymore and it so far is working a little bit for me....

I do feel guilty for my illness and I am trying to learn not to but that is also hard for me...

Thanks as always for you input... I hope more ppl chime in
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... I hope more people respond honestly and give good suggestions..

I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER.. I have been working really hard on not doing that anymore and it so far is working a little bit for me....

I do feel guilty for my illness and I am trying to learn not to but that is also hard for me...

Thanks as always for you input... I hope more ppl chime in
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... I hope more people respond honestly and give good suggestions..

I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER.. I have been working really hard on not doing that anymore and it so far is working a little bit for me....

I do feel guilty for my illness and I am trying to learn not to but that is also hard for me...

Thanks as always for you input... I hope more ppl chime in
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... I hope more people respond honestly and give good suggestions..

I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER.. I have been working really hard on not doing that anymore and it so far is working a little bit for me....

I do feel guilty for my illness and I am trying to learn not to but that is also hard for me...

Thanks as always for you input... I hope more ppl chime in
 
B

bittyhorse23

New member
I'm not a caregiver but my mom has always told me that she wants me to be honest about my health to her no matter what. So I try to for the most part. It is something I am still working on with her and my dad.

And I always try to say thank you when she does something for me. Like yesterday she took my Christmas decorations to my brother's to put in the attic for me because she knows I can't do that. So I made sure that I thanked her. She offered but I still feel bad knowing she went through the trouble to go to my house, get the stuff and then lug it all up to the attic...and I had ALOT of stuff!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
B

bittyhorse23

New member
I'm not a caregiver but my mom has always told me that she wants me to be honest about my health to her no matter what. So I try to for the most part. It is something I am still working on with her and my dad.

And I always try to say thank you when she does something for me. Like yesterday she took my Christmas decorations to my brother's to put in the attic for me because she knows I can't do that. So I made sure that I thanked her. She offered but I still feel bad knowing she went through the trouble to go to my house, get the stuff and then lug it all up to the attic...and I had ALOT of stuff!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
B

bittyhorse23

New member
I'm not a caregiver but my mom has always told me that she wants me to be honest about my health to her no matter what. So I try to for the most part. It is something I am still working on with her and my dad.

And I always try to say thank you when she does something for me. Like yesterday she took my Christmas decorations to my brother's to put in the attic for me because she knows I can't do that. So I made sure that I thanked her. She offered but I still feel bad knowing she went through the trouble to go to my house, get the stuff and then lug it all up to the attic...and I had ALOT of stuff!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
B

bittyhorse23

New member
I'm not a caregiver but my mom has always told me that she wants me to be honest about my health to her no matter what. So I try to for the most part. It is something I am still working on with her and my dad.

And I always try to say thank you when she does something for me. Like yesterday she took my Christmas decorations to my brother's to put in the attic for me because she knows I can't do that. So I made sure that I thanked her. She offered but I still feel bad knowing she went through the trouble to go to my house, get the stuff and then lug it all up to the attic...and I had ALOT of stuff!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
B

bittyhorse23

New member
I'm not a caregiver but my mom has always told me that she wants me to be honest about my health to her no matter what. So I try to for the most part. It is something I am still working on with her and my dad.

And I always try to say thank you when she does something for me. Like yesterday she took my Christmas decorations to my brother's to put in the attic for me because she knows I can't do that. So I made sure that I thanked her. She offered but I still feel bad knowing she went through the trouble to go to my house, get the stuff and then lug it all up to the attic...and I had ALOT of stuff!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... </end quote></div>

No problem, Jennifer. You know me--outspoken till the end.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER..
</end quote></div>

I suspect I would be the same and make my loved ones crazy too. I've always thought that denial is a highly underrated coping mechanism. Still it only works until it doesn't - and once it doesn't it really backfires.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I hope more ppl chime in</end quote></div>

Me too. But most of us have been trained since birth to put our needs behind anyone who is ill and to see any "complaints" about caregiving as selfish so it's sometimes hard to even be honest with oneself about these things.

The putting the needs of the well always second to those of the ill works great for short term illnesses (I mean the well can't get burnt out because it will only be for a little while and there's a quid pro quo going because whoever is well today may well be ill tomorrow), but it doesn't work for chronic illnesses.

Good for you to realize that everyone has needs and limitations and that we all have to take care of each other. But remember, each person's #1 job is to take care of themself FIRST. So you focus on taking care of YOU, ok?

Keeping you in my heart...
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... </end quote></div>

No problem, Jennifer. You know me--outspoken till the end.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER..
</end quote></div>

I suspect I would be the same and make my loved ones crazy too. I've always thought that denial is a highly underrated coping mechanism. Still it only works until it doesn't - and once it doesn't it really backfires.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I hope more ppl chime in</end quote></div>

Me too. But most of us have been trained since birth to put our needs behind anyone who is ill and to see any "complaints" about caregiving as selfish so it's sometimes hard to even be honest with oneself about these things.

The putting the needs of the well always second to those of the ill works great for short term illnesses (I mean the well can't get burnt out because it will only be for a little while and there's a quid pro quo going because whoever is well today may well be ill tomorrow), but it doesn't work for chronic illnesses.

Good for you to realize that everyone has needs and limitations and that we all have to take care of each other. But remember, each person's #1 job is to take care of themself FIRST. So you focus on taking care of YOU, ok?

Keeping you in my heart...
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... </end quote></div>

No problem, Jennifer. You know me--outspoken till the end.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER..
</end quote></div>

I suspect I would be the same and make my loved ones crazy too. I've always thought that denial is a highly underrated coping mechanism. Still it only works until it doesn't - and once it doesn't it really backfires.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I hope more ppl chime in</end quote></div>

Me too. But most of us have been trained since birth to put our needs behind anyone who is ill and to see any "complaints" about caregiving as selfish so it's sometimes hard to even be honest with oneself about these things.

The putting the needs of the well always second to those of the ill works great for short term illnesses (I mean the well can't get burnt out because it will only be for a little while and there's a quid pro quo going because whoever is well today may well be ill tomorrow), but it doesn't work for chronic illnesses.

Good for you to realize that everyone has needs and limitations and that we all have to take care of each other. But remember, each person's #1 job is to take care of themself FIRST. So you focus on taking care of YOU, ok?

Keeping you in my heart...
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... </end quote>

No problem, Jennifer. You know me--outspoken till the end.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER..
</end quote>

I suspect I would be the same and make my loved ones crazy too. I've always thought that denial is a highly underrated coping mechanism. Still it only works until it doesn't - and once it doesn't it really backfires.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I hope more ppl chime in</end quote>

Me too. But most of us have been trained since birth to put our needs behind anyone who is ill and to see any "complaints" about caregiving as selfish so it's sometimes hard to even be honest with oneself about these things.

The putting the needs of the well always second to those of the ill works great for short term illnesses (I mean the well can't get burnt out because it will only be for a little while and there's a quid pro quo going because whoever is well today may well be ill tomorrow), but it doesn't work for chronic illnesses.

Good for you to realize that everyone has needs and limitations and that we all have to take care of each other. But remember, each person's #1 job is to take care of themself FIRST. So you focus on taking care of YOU, ok?

Keeping you in my heart...
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

Thank you so much for your responses.. I really appreciate it... I love the honest input... </end quote>

No problem, Jennifer. You know me--outspoken till the end.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I tend to do what your husband did and that is deny things till the point of waiting till I have to go to the ER..
</end quote>

I suspect I would be the same and make my loved ones crazy too. I've always thought that denial is a highly underrated coping mechanism. Still it only works until it doesn't - and once it doesn't it really backfires.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>I hope more ppl chime in</end quote>

Me too. But most of us have been trained since birth to put our needs behind anyone who is ill and to see any "complaints" about caregiving as selfish so it's sometimes hard to even be honest with oneself about these things.

The putting the needs of the well always second to those of the ill works great for short term illnesses (I mean the well can't get burnt out because it will only be for a little while and there's a quid pro quo going because whoever is well today may well be ill tomorrow), but it doesn't work for chronic illnesses.

Good for you to realize that everyone has needs and limitations and that we all have to take care of each other. But remember, each person's #1 job is to take care of themself FIRST. So you focus on taking care of YOU, ok?

Keeping you in my heart...
 
R

Rebjane

Super Moderator
My daughter is only 5 but what makes things easier is her personality. I love watching her enjoy life. Sometimes it gets hard to decipher if she is sick because she is happy-go-lucky. I get inspiration from her in her positive attitude and desire to try new things. She is much more outgoing than I am, course I can see that as a teen-ager things will change and may get difficult. A simple I love you and you're the best mommy in the world is what gets me through; and she says it often.
 
R

Rebjane

Super Moderator
My daughter is only 5 but what makes things easier is her personality. I love watching her enjoy life. Sometimes it gets hard to decipher if she is sick because she is happy-go-lucky. I get inspiration from her in her positive attitude and desire to try new things. She is much more outgoing than I am, course I can see that as a teen-ager things will change and may get difficult. A simple I love you and you're the best mommy in the world is what gets me through; and she says it often.
 
R

Rebjane

Super Moderator
My daughter is only 5 but what makes things easier is her personality. I love watching her enjoy life. Sometimes it gets hard to decipher if she is sick because she is happy-go-lucky. I get inspiration from her in her positive attitude and desire to try new things. She is much more outgoing than I am, course I can see that as a teen-ager things will change and may get difficult. A simple I love you and you're the best mommy in the world is what gets me through; and she says it often.
 
R

Rebjane

Super Moderator
My daughter is only 5 but what makes things easier is her personality. I love watching her enjoy life. Sometimes it gets hard to decipher if she is sick because she is happy-go-lucky. I get inspiration from her in her positive attitude and desire to try new things. She is much more outgoing than I am, course I can see that as a teen-ager things will change and may get difficult. A simple I love you and you're the best mommy in the world is what gets me through; and she says it often.
 
R

Rebjane

Super Moderator
My daughter is only 5 but what makes things easier is her personality. I love watching her enjoy life. Sometimes it gets hard to decipher if she is sick because she is happy-go-lucky. I get inspiration from her in her positive attitude and desire to try new things. She is much more outgoing than I am, course I can see that as a teen-ager things will change and may get difficult. A simple I love you and you're the best mommy in the world is what gets me through; and she says it often.
 
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