RememberingAngela
New member
bagged2drag - Thank you for what you wrote. I think that's what hurts me the most about the family situation is the fact that Angela would be very very dissapointed. I've said as much to my mother. After this many years of trying to fix the broken family unit one can not do it alone and I've given up. I'm not 1200 miles away living with my husband near his family. Repairing the family unit is not going to happen as much as I have tried and would like it to and I have finally accepted it 2 years ago after battling it through that 6 1/2 years.
I want you to know something. My family was broken in so many ways before this happened and Angela was the glue that kept us together. It wasn't her fault and I know that. It's not going to be your fault if the same happens to your family if you leave long before you should. Angela had the same worries you have and I gave my word I'd do everything I could to hold us together. I just couldn't. I wouldn't want her thinking it was her fault any more than I'd want you thinking the same if that should happen to your family. It's a testiment to how brightly she shined in our lives and I'm just thankful we could hold it together until after she was gone so she wouldn't see it fall apart. I am honored to have been her sister, and I'm sure your family members feel honored you are in theirs.
I am sorry if my words were selfish in my original post and yours has brought me to tears. This is why I don't talk much about my feelings of her passing and the resulting conflicts to people, and why I held back from talking about it to other CF families or patients. I don't want to burden you or anyone with additional fears. I want you to know that for all the pain in my heart I am honored and thankful she was in my life, shortlived as it was. I am sorry if I've added to your worries, it wasn't my intention.
I want you to know something. My family was broken in so many ways before this happened and Angela was the glue that kept us together. It wasn't her fault and I know that. It's not going to be your fault if the same happens to your family if you leave long before you should. Angela had the same worries you have and I gave my word I'd do everything I could to hold us together. I just couldn't. I wouldn't want her thinking it was her fault any more than I'd want you thinking the same if that should happen to your family. It's a testiment to how brightly she shined in our lives and I'm just thankful we could hold it together until after she was gone so she wouldn't see it fall apart. I am honored to have been her sister, and I'm sure your family members feel honored you are in theirs.
I am sorry if my words were selfish in my original post and yours has brought me to tears. This is why I don't talk much about my feelings of her passing and the resulting conflicts to people, and why I held back from talking about it to other CF families or patients. I don't want to burden you or anyone with additional fears. I want you to know that for all the pain in my heart I am honored and thankful she was in my life, shortlived as it was. I am sorry if I've added to your worries, it wasn't my intention.