I've always known that when the time came, I'd want to be listed for tx. I've been active on the list since February. I started the evaluation last year in March, at around 35% function, and I've since dropped to a high of 28% (stupid resistant bugs!).
Here is why I wanted to be listed:
I feel TRAPPED in my body. I feel like I should be in a body with working lungs. I have too many goals and aspirations pent up inside that I just physically cannot accomplish with the lungs that I have now. I want to go to law school. I want to travel. I played at Carnegie Hall a few years ago, and feel so deprived of a creative outlet now that I cannot play the flute anymore. I want that back. I am tired of constantly being oxygen-starved, to the point where my thinking and reasoning become compromised, even though I wear O2 almost all of the time. I don't want to sit back and watch myself deteriorate mentally while I also physically wither away. That is what scares me the most- the mental numbness that comes with the very end.
I have managed to keep up with my peers, up until now. I am graduating from college with two undergraduate degrees, on time, even though I spent 1/3 of every school year in the hospital. I can't imagine what I will be able to do with new lungs. My goals are what motivate me, and without them, I feel like I lose who I am.
Sure, I could probably wait to go active, I'm relatively stable as long as I get a tune-up every 6-8 weeks- but I don't want to prolong this period of inactivity. I could wait to be listed- but while I do so, I'll feel like crap the whole time and will be unable to accomplish anything that I want to (like going to law school). It's not worth it to me to put off being listed for transplant if it means living like I do now, and feeling like I do now. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
In the end, it is so important to have the support of your family, but the only person who can make the decision to be listed is you.
Good luck, feel free to PM me if you have any questions!