new boyfriend need help

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Vampy

New member
and i dont care what celebrities are doing these days...i dont even watch movies anymore they've gotten to be so damn annoying
i know i havnt gotten pregnant that doesnt mean i think i cant or im being cocky about it i just want to know how to explain to him that everything will be ok. i know about the mucus in our caves down there lol. i just need a affective way to let him know its fine but not to scare him away lol. mom did that once and scared my ex away it was pretty funny in the long run
 
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julie

New member
Are you saying you need an effective way to let him know it's fine if you get pregnant? Is that what you are asking? I am still really confused.
 
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Vampy

New member
i am mature enuff to say where having sex and stuff and the condom broke but i didnt want to get into any trouble on here by the mods or if there where any young kids reading this. ......ok this is stupid im done with this site its making me to be a horrible immature person which im not im very mature perhaps for to mature for my own age. Im just trying to say that i was trying to get pregnant before and now im not and my new bf freaked out really bad because our condom broke but the reason i said CON was because i didnt want to get into trouble by any mods on here thats why.I just needed advice how to explain the whole pregnancy and cf thing to him and here i am getting critisized by people who dont even know me which i think is just about as immature as you think me to be. So peace everyone im out!
 
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julie

New member
Good lord, I'm seriously trying to help answer your question but I'm not quite sure what it is.

And what I said about the condom part... sex, orgasms, marijuana and other things are discusse all the time on this site. The mods (thankfully) are very easy going about their managment of this site which enables all of us to discuss things we really need to. I took it as a lack of maturity and I really feel strongly that if someone isn't able to discuss sex using adult words, that maybe they aren't ready for sex. I wasn't trying to be rude.
 
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Vampy

New member
I was trying to respectful to the mods and not say anything that could get me into trouble and trying to word it to where kids wont be able to understand it but everyone took it as im being immature and that wasnt it. Ive had a horrible day and i really dont think i can stand being called immature and pushing the whole "ur trying to get pregnant with a new boyfriend" thing thats not it i dont want to get pregnant all i wanted to know is how to explain sex cf woman and babies to him. i would never try to get pregnant with a new boyfriend
 
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JazzysMom

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Vampy</b></i>

I was trying to respectful to the mods and not say anything that could get me into trouble and trying to word it to where kids wont be able to understand it but everyone took it as im being immature and that wasnt it. Ive had a horrible day and i really dont think i can stand being called immature and pushing the whole "ur trying to get pregnant with a new boyfriend" thing thats not it i dont want to get pregnant all i wanted to know is how to explain sex cf woman and babies to him. i would never try to get pregnant with a new boyfriend</end quote></div>



Let me assure you that we understand your position & reasoning for posting the way you did. The only time there has been problems with the moderators is when things have gotten nasty etc. Actual questions using the proper terms is fine. You are also in the Adult section which is really the only section that such topics would probably be discussed. I also didnt completely understand the points you were trying to get across originally. I apologize for not asking for clarification before judging.
 
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kybert

New member
ok, this is really bizarre. if you DONT want to get pregnant then why would you need to explain to someone that you can give birth to a baby 'just incase'. if you are dead serious about not having a baby then you would not need to do any any explaining, there are no 'just incases' when you have options available to you to prevent/stop pregnancy. which leads me to believe that you dont mind if you become pregnant, which leads to a whole other story. if thats not the case then you need to get serious about contraception and options available to you after an accident happens. go to the doctor, get a pregnancy test and talk to him about it.
 
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anonymous

New member
Ok maybe i am totally off but I understand what Vampy is trying to say and I think that she has a valid point about not wanting to use the word "condom". i think she was realitively clear when she said that the _______ broke, what else would break during sex that had the word con in it? So no, I don't think you are too immature to have sex, and if people did not know what it meant they should have asked and not jumped to offensive conclusions. Which I think a lot of people did so good!

Anyways, I think you should just explain to your boyfriend that it isn't something he should worry about and explain why. Yes it is harder for you to get pregnant so he doesn't have to worry as much. But also explain that that does not mean in anyway that you want to get pregnant and that you both should still use as much protection as possible. Bring up the mucus point also, that shouldn't be too much to scare him.
 
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anonymous

New member
Vampy,

I think I get what your saying. Even though your not wanting to get pregnant you want to be able to answer your bf's questions whatever they maybe pertaining to pregnancy....whether or not a couple is trying to have a baby doesnt mean that they shouldnt be informed.

So even though i dont know alot about cf pregnancies here is what I think. You should tell him the truth....that you (maybe) dont know that much about it but what you do know. For example if it were me talking this is what I would say "i dont know a whole lot on the subject of cf and getting pregnant because I havent been in that situation yet. I do know that it can be harder on the body because of cf, doesnt mean it will be, there have been women with cf who do perfectly fine during pregnancy, but there have also been women who do very poorly with pregnancy. I know that I have to watch medications that could harm the baby. I also know that my cf center will work with me and probably refer me to a GYN that deals with high risk pregnancies and probably has worked with cfers before...just because there is no certainty that my pregnancy will go well and should be monitored very closely. I will do more research on it if you like. But right now I am not wanting a child and I know your not but its good to be informed. Also there is not just the pregnancy to worry about but afterwards....i would need alot of help with the baby so that I can stay rested and keep from getting sick. (etc fill in here what you need to about babies and what your current health is like and what normal activities are like for you now so adding a baby to the picture would add alot more to that)." Be sure to mention that your body health aside will deal with the size of a baby....some people have to be put on bedrest because of different comlications but i dont know if a big baby would put complications in other than making it more difficult to breath and get around...it would be something you have to discuss with the GYN...also i learned that gestational diabetes can cause babies to be bigger, the excess sugar goes to the babies and makes them grow, so you have to watch out for that if you ever became pregnant. Now labor would be a different story if the baby is to big yu might have to have a cessarian. A friend of mine is small framed and had a normal size baby but her hips never seperated like they were supposed to during pregnancy and she had to have a c-section. Also a cousin had to have a s-section because the baby was to big to go throught he canal, now the baby wasnt huge just about 7 lbs...but the mother just wasnt big enough. Both these mothers dont have cf....so you can have any kind of complication. The key is very good communication with doctors IF you become pregnant and lots of research....now dont go and research and scare yourself....its just good to know whats going on and what can happen and what to do if you can do anything.

Just know this pregnancy is hard on a womans body healthy or not...cf or no cf. Generaly for a cf woman pregnancy is harder just because cf takes its own toll on the body and add pregnancy that takes another huge toll that can actually be dangerous. Thats why when I got married my cf clinic wanted to know if we planned on having kids and told me if we did they have a GYN they work with that specializes in high risk pregnancies and has had cf patients before. Even if your a healthy cfer pregnancy can change your health....it might not but it can. I have known a cf woman who was perfectly healthy have a baby and at that point her health declined...during pregnancy she was ok had some problems...but after words she just kept declining. Please i hope no one thinks that cf and pregnancy is just like any other pregnancy...it is not and should not be considered as such. It is risky no matter how healthy you are with your cf. Also dont go by its harder to get pregnant because of mucus....to many hve said this and had an "oops" pregnancy because they thought they couldnt get pregnant....even cf males who thought they were sterile have gotten women pregnant. Treat having sex as if you could get pregnant like anyone else. Dont take any chances. (im tlaking to everyone here not just vampy)

ok thats all. I hope i understood you right vampy. I know that even if i dont plan on doing something right away i liked to be informed so that i can make a good descion in the future or at least be prepared just in case something happens.
Amanda
 
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littledebbie

New member
Okay, I thought I kind of got you too Vampy and I don't think i
called you immature I certainly hope I didn't say anything that
sounded like it.  I did take a time out to make some points
that I tried to make clear weren't directed at you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><br>
<br>
I might have missed part of your question though so let me take one
more swing at it.  sometimes people try to treat me like
fragile little doll or something because of my size and i always
say something to the effect of...you remember mighty mouse?
 yah me and that mouse have a lot in common, I can usually
give as well as i get, no need to handle with care. (Just don't ask
me to outrun anyone..he he he).  So just be real, tell him you
are sturdy, Small doesn't mean weak.  Small women have been
having babies since the beginning of time theres no sign hanging
somewhere that says you must be this big to have a baby..how
funny...men can be funny critters.  Maybe he's just trying to
show you he's thinking of you, wants to take care of you, is he
actually scared or just being sweet? Maybe you don't have to say
much but thanks for thinking of it but you'll be okay and you can
handle whatever comes along?  i don't know, but i'm sure
you'll find the right words. Good luck. *oh and I'm glad you found
a nice guy*  <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
I agree with everything Debbie said. She is right, I don't think anyone meant to say mean things maybe just confused.

But the important thing she said that is being lost, that we are all glad you found a nice guy, that is hard to find always<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

sue 24w/CF
 
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Vampy

New member
Okies the last four replys where EXACTLY what i was looking for and no lil debbi u didnt call me immature and i thank you for that. Im glad i got some help on this subject i was just really upset yesterday cuz i was having ahorrible day i was depressed my stomach was killin meh and i really cant take critisizim from ppl i dont know i get enuff of that from my mother. im (the bad kid) in the family she tells everyone. But thank you so much for helping and not critisizing me. im not looking to get pregnant and spec not with a new boyfriend i knew just because i havnt gotten preg yet doesnt mean i cant but i know i just needed to know a way to explain pregnancy with cf ppl thats it and i thank you.
 
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anonymous

New member
Vampy

You did not do anything wrong. You were just being mindful of the mods. I hope you got the answers you were looking for. Do not let Julie's posts get you down.
 
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Momtana

New member
Vampy, if you are using condoms as the only method you can get emergency contraception (the morning after pill) up to 5 days (120 hours) after it happens. Some health care providers will give a prescription for you to have on hand in case you need it in the future. Sounds like a concerned guy.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
I believe that the morning after pill is only good for 72 hours after unprotected sex:

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.mcgill.ca/studenthealth/information/womenshealth/contraception/mapill/">http://www.mcgill.ca/studenthe.../contraception/mapill/</a>
 
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Momtana

New member
Liz, well, the sooner the better, always, with emergency contraception, but they have opened the window to up to five days in the last year or so.
 
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julie

New member
My post was honest feedback to how I interpreted your post Vampy. It was in no way meant to be rude or get her down, just some food for thought about how someone else was seeing it.

Also, I asked REPEATEDLY for clairification of the question because I DO think that sex and it's results need to be discussed much more on this forum than it is. I never recieved clairification from you Vampy and there were others who posted who were also confused by what you were asking. If you want help, then let people help you... but help them understand if they don't get what you are asking.

Just because you don't like the responses you get, doesn't mean that people aren't trying to be helpful all the same. We can't all agree and share the same views.

You stated the last 4 responses were exactly what you were looking for. Clearly then you only wanted to hear from people who share your views on the subject. That's fine, but don't crawl up my a*s because I pointed out something I thought was legitimate by the way I read you post.
 
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