Not enough time in the day

[Ratatosk]

I know your book touches on parents being good examples in terms of health, exercise, eatings... But I'm forever struggling with there not being enough hours in the day.

I work full time, yet pride myself on being able to take care of DS' needs -- health, schoolwork, meals, clean clothes..; however, something always gets lost in the shuffle. Currently that's my ability to get in some exercise and it doesn't help that half the time his snack cupboard is calling my name. There's a box of Trader Joes Frosted Gingerbread Men Mocking me this week. I feel like such a slug. How can I get motivated, get into a routine?

Okay, I'm making excuses about there not being enough hours in the day, but wintertime hits and all I want to do is hibernate once we get DS' vest, nebs, schoolwork and supper time.

 

[Ratatosk]

I know your book touches on parents being good examples in terms of health, exercise, eatings... But I'm forever struggling with there not being enough hours in the day.

I work full time, yet pride myself on being able to take care of DS' needs -- health, schoolwork, meals, clean clothes..; however, something always gets lost in the shuffle. Currently that's my ability to get in some exercise and it doesn't help that half the time his snack cupboard is calling my name. There's a box of Trader Joes Frosted Gingerbread Men Mocking me this week. I feel like such a slug. How can I get motivated, get into a routine?

Okay, I'm making excuses about there not being enough hours in the day, but wintertime hits and all I want to do is hibernate once we get DS' vest, nebs, schoolwork and supper time.

 

[Ratatosk]

I know your book touches on parents being good examples in terms of health, exercise, eatings... But I'm forever struggling with there not being enough hours in the day.

I work full time, yet pride myself on being able to take care of DS' needs -- health, schoolwork, meals, clean clothes..; however, something always gets lost in the shuffle. Currently that's my ability to get in some exercise and it doesn't help that half the time his snack cupboard is calling my name. There's a box of Trader Joes Frosted Gingerbread Men Mocking me this week. I feel like such a slug. How can I get motivated, get into a routine?

Okay, I'm making excuses about there not being enough hours in the day, but wintertime hits and all I want to do is hibernate once we get DS' vest, nebs, schoolwork and supper time.

 

[Ratatosk]

I know your book touches on parents being good examples in terms of health, exercise, eatings... But I'm forever struggling with there not being enough hours in the day.

I work full time, yet pride myself on being able to take care of DS' needs -- health, schoolwork, meals, clean clothes..; however, something always gets lost in the shuffle. Currently that's my ability to get in some exercise and it doesn't help that half the time his snack cupboard is calling my name. There's a box of Trader Joes Frosted Gingerbread Men Mocking me this week. I feel like such a slug. How can I get motivated, get into a routine?

Okay, I'm making excuses about there not being enough hours in the day, but wintertime hits and all I want to do is hibernate once we get DS' vest, nebs, schoolwork and supper time.

 

[Ratatosk]

I know your book touches on parents being good examples in terms of health, exercise, eatings... But I'm forever struggling with there not being enough hours in the day.
<br />
<br />I work full time, yet pride myself on being able to take care of DS' needs -- health, schoolwork, meals, clean clothes..; however, something always gets lost in the shuffle. Currently that's my ability to get in some exercise and it doesn't help that half the time his snack cupboard is calling my name. There's a box of Trader Joes Frosted Gingerbread Men Mocking me this week. I feel like such a slug. How can I get motivated, get into a routine?
<br />
<br />Okay, I'm making excuses about there not being enough hours in the day, but wintertime hits and all I want to do is hibernate once we get DS' vest, nebs, schoolwork and supper time.

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Liza,
Isn't this one of the biggest bummers of parenting- having to set a good example? I just hate looking in that ole mirror sometimes. And, honestly, just an awareness of the importance of example can motivate us to do the right things. I have found that oftentimes, parents will do things for the sake of their kids before they will do them for themselves. And so, this is just a good reminder of how important example is but not meant to cause guilt (we all have enough of that already!).

Taking good care of ourselves when we have a special needs kid is probably the hardest thing in parenting because of the time demands on us. And, when kids are really little, it's nearly impossible. But I want to encourage those of you with young children that things do get better. Both of my kids are in school now and, although I am very busy, I do have more "mommy-time moments" available.

But even when we don't have a block of free time, we can all do little things that "feed our souls" like: a quick bubble bath while our partner watches the kids. Or a snitch of chocolate and good coffee. Or taking a 15-minute walk around the block with the kids. Or, spending a few minutes on this website giving/getting support. These are all ways to take good care of ourselves if they are helping to renew us.

And, even when we blow it, we can still set a good example: "Gosh, I know I'm not supposed to eat that whole box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men but I did. Oh bummer. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'll do better."

And of course when tomorrow comes we say, "Wow! I made it through a whole day without eating another box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men! I am so proud of myself!"

The other important part of example is not tolerating disrespect from our kids. There are good reasons for this which are on the video clip.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for your question and honesty.
Hugs,
Lisa

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Liza,
Isn't this one of the biggest bummers of parenting- having to set a good example? I just hate looking in that ole mirror sometimes. And, honestly, just an awareness of the importance of example can motivate us to do the right things. I have found that oftentimes, parents will do things for the sake of their kids before they will do them for themselves. And so, this is just a good reminder of how important example is but not meant to cause guilt (we all have enough of that already!).

Taking good care of ourselves when we have a special needs kid is probably the hardest thing in parenting because of the time demands on us. And, when kids are really little, it's nearly impossible. But I want to encourage those of you with young children that things do get better. Both of my kids are in school now and, although I am very busy, I do have more "mommy-time moments" available.

But even when we don't have a block of free time, we can all do little things that "feed our souls" like: a quick bubble bath while our partner watches the kids. Or a snitch of chocolate and good coffee. Or taking a 15-minute walk around the block with the kids. Or, spending a few minutes on this website giving/getting support. These are all ways to take good care of ourselves if they are helping to renew us.

And, even when we blow it, we can still set a good example: "Gosh, I know I'm not supposed to eat that whole box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men but I did. Oh bummer. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'll do better."

And of course when tomorrow comes we say, "Wow! I made it through a whole day without eating another box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men! I am so proud of myself!"

The other important part of example is not tolerating disrespect from our kids. There are good reasons for this which are on the video clip.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for your question and honesty.
Hugs,
Lisa

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Liza,
Isn't this one of the biggest bummers of parenting- having to set a good example? I just hate looking in that ole mirror sometimes. And, honestly, just an awareness of the importance of example can motivate us to do the right things. I have found that oftentimes, parents will do things for the sake of their kids before they will do them for themselves. And so, this is just a good reminder of how important example is but not meant to cause guilt (we all have enough of that already!).

Taking good care of ourselves when we have a special needs kid is probably the hardest thing in parenting because of the time demands on us. And, when kids are really little, it's nearly impossible. But I want to encourage those of you with young children that things do get better. Both of my kids are in school now and, although I am very busy, I do have more "mommy-time moments" available.

But even when we don't have a block of free time, we can all do little things that "feed our souls" like: a quick bubble bath while our partner watches the kids. Or a snitch of chocolate and good coffee. Or taking a 15-minute walk around the block with the kids. Or, spending a few minutes on this website giving/getting support. These are all ways to take good care of ourselves if they are helping to renew us.

And, even when we blow it, we can still set a good example: "Gosh, I know I'm not supposed to eat that whole box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men but I did. Oh bummer. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'll do better."

And of course when tomorrow comes we say, "Wow! I made it through a whole day without eating another box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men! I am so proud of myself!"

The other important part of example is not tolerating disrespect from our kids. There are good reasons for this which are on the video clip.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for your question and honesty.
Hugs,
Lisa

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Liza,
Isn't this one of the biggest bummers of parenting- having to set a good example? I just hate looking in that ole mirror sometimes. And, honestly, just an awareness of the importance of example can motivate us to do the right things. I have found that oftentimes, parents will do things for the sake of their kids before they will do them for themselves. And so, this is just a good reminder of how important example is but not meant to cause guilt (we all have enough of that already!).

Taking good care of ourselves when we have a special needs kid is probably the hardest thing in parenting because of the time demands on us. And, when kids are really little, it's nearly impossible. But I want to encourage those of you with young children that things do get better. Both of my kids are in school now and, although I am very busy, I do have more "mommy-time moments" available.

But even when we don't have a block of free time, we can all do little things that "feed our souls" like: a quick bubble bath while our partner watches the kids. Or a snitch of chocolate and good coffee. Or taking a 15-minute walk around the block with the kids. Or, spending a few minutes on this website giving/getting support. These are all ways to take good care of ourselves if they are helping to renew us.

And, even when we blow it, we can still set a good example: "Gosh, I know I'm not supposed to eat that whole box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men but I did. Oh bummer. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'll do better."

And of course when tomorrow comes we say, "Wow! I made it through a whole day without eating another box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men! I am so proud of myself!"

The other important part of example is not tolerating disrespect from our kids. There are good reasons for this which are on the video clip.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for your question and honesty.
Hugs,
Lisa

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Liza,
<br />Isn't this one of the biggest bummers of parenting- having to set a good example? I just hate looking in that ole mirror sometimes. And, honestly, just an awareness of the importance of example can motivate us to do the right things. I have found that oftentimes, parents will do things for the sake of their kids before they will do them for themselves. And so, this is just a good reminder of how important example is but not meant to cause guilt (we all have enough of that already!).
<br />
<br />Taking good care of ourselves when we have a special needs kid is probably the hardest thing in parenting because of the time demands on us. And, when kids are really little, it's nearly impossible. But I want to encourage those of you with young children that things do get better. Both of my kids are in school now and, although I am very busy, I do have more "mommy-time moments" available.
<br />
<br />But even when we don't have a block of free time, we can all do little things that "feed our souls" like: a quick bubble bath while our partner watches the kids. Or a snitch of chocolate and good coffee. Or taking a 15-minute walk around the block with the kids. Or, spending a few minutes on this website giving/getting support. These are all ways to take good care of ourselves if they are helping to renew us.
<br />
<br />And, even when we blow it, we can still set a good example: "Gosh, I know I'm not supposed to eat that whole box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men but I did. Oh bummer. But, tomorrow will be a new day and I'll do better."
<br />
<br />And of course when tomorrow comes we say, "Wow! I made it through a whole day without eating another box of Trader Joe's Frosted Gingerbread Men! I am so proud of myself!"
<br />
<br />The other important part of example is not tolerating disrespect from our kids. There are good reasons for this which are on the video clip.
<br />
<br />I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for your question and honesty.
<br />Hugs,
<br />Lisa

 

[Rebjane]

I do not work full time; so I might have a little more time but I do try to go for a run most days I do not work. It is something that lets me blow off steam and worry. My kids can tell when I've skip too many runs and my older on will tell he thinks I need to go for a run if I get too irritable.

However, something I do find hard to do is find time with my husband. We both work really hard; and get tired. I am having trouble remembering the last time we went out to dinner just ourselves...we have time together in the evening after the kids go to bed, they go early. usually I am so tired we say a few words and I'm asleep.

So, one thing I wish I could do is make more time for my husband and I to go out, once in a while. Anyone else have this trouble?

 

[Rebjane]

I do not work full time; so I might have a little more time but I do try to go for a run most days I do not work. It is something that lets me blow off steam and worry. My kids can tell when I've skip too many runs and my older on will tell he thinks I need to go for a run if I get too irritable.

However, something I do find hard to do is find time with my husband. We both work really hard; and get tired. I am having trouble remembering the last time we went out to dinner just ourselves...we have time together in the evening after the kids go to bed, they go early. usually I am so tired we say a few words and I'm asleep.

So, one thing I wish I could do is make more time for my husband and I to go out, once in a while. Anyone else have this trouble?

 

[Rebjane]

I do not work full time; so I might have a little more time but I do try to go for a run most days I do not work. It is something that lets me blow off steam and worry. My kids can tell when I've skip too many runs and my older on will tell he thinks I need to go for a run if I get too irritable.

However, something I do find hard to do is find time with my husband. We both work really hard; and get tired. I am having trouble remembering the last time we went out to dinner just ourselves...we have time together in the evening after the kids go to bed, they go early. usually I am so tired we say a few words and I'm asleep.

So, one thing I wish I could do is make more time for my husband and I to go out, once in a while. Anyone else have this trouble?

 

[Rebjane]

I do not work full time; so I might have a little more time but I do try to go for a run most days I do not work. It is something that lets me blow off steam and worry. My kids can tell when I've skip too many runs and my older on will tell he thinks I need to go for a run if I get too irritable.

However, something I do find hard to do is find time with my husband. We both work really hard; and get tired. I am having trouble remembering the last time we went out to dinner just ourselves...we have time together in the evening after the kids go to bed, they go early. usually I am so tired we say a few words and I'm asleep.

So, one thing I wish I could do is make more time for my husband and I to go out, once in a while. Anyone else have this trouble?

 

[Rebjane]

I do not work full time; so I might have a little more time but I do try to go for a run most days I do not work. It is something that lets me blow off steam and worry. My kids can tell when I've skip too many runs and my older on will tell he thinks I need to go for a run if I get too irritable.
<br />
<br />However, something I do find hard to do is find time with my husband. We both work really hard; and get tired. I am having trouble remembering the last time we went out to dinner just ourselves...we have time together in the evening after the kids go to bed, they go early. usually I am so tired we say a few words and I'm asleep.
<br />
<br />So, one thing I wish I could do is make more time for my husband and I to go out, once in a while. Anyone else have this trouble?

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Rebecca,
Good job taking care of yourself with the running! You've trained your kids well.

I am answering this one as a "CF mom" not necessarily as an expert. And yes, we do have a very hard time focusing on our relationship. And, to be honest, we are having a hard time now- with the stress of my hubby's job loss- because of the years of not doing so (but I think it will be okay).

When we were in CA, we scheduled a bi-weekly date night with our babysitter way in advance. But then a kid would get sick or something would happen. But, we mostly made it work.

Since being transferred to WA, partly because of the financial situation, stress and busy-ness, we haven't done as good a job and it "shows" in our relationship. So we are having to work harder at getting back that lost ground which is more difficult (but do-able).

Here's one thing I've learned through all of this: a major part of a happy, healthy marriage (or partnership) is friendship. And, if we are not taking the time to nurture the friendship, just like any other friendship, it withers.

So, as hard as it is, we just have to make this a priority and I totally get how hard it is; that's why we didn't do it! But now I am speaking from *Experience* how important the friendship part is and I wish we had paid more attention to it.

And it could be as simple as playing cards together after the kids go to bed or meeting for coffee during the day if schedules allow. Or doing yardwork together. Or even cooking together. The key word is "together." Keeping the friendship alive is, I think, key. It gives us joy and we need as much of that as we can get with all that we deal with.

One of the best gifts we can give our kids (and ourselves) is a healthy relationship/ marriage. And there's no doubt that it takes some effort. It's kind of like a garden- we have to pull the weeds and nurture the flowers or else we'll have a big mess!

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Rebecca,
Good job taking care of yourself with the running! You've trained your kids well.

I am answering this one as a "CF mom" not necessarily as an expert. And yes, we do have a very hard time focusing on our relationship. And, to be honest, we are having a hard time now- with the stress of my hubby's job loss- because of the years of not doing so (but I think it will be okay).

When we were in CA, we scheduled a bi-weekly date night with our babysitter way in advance. But then a kid would get sick or something would happen. But, we mostly made it work.

Since being transferred to WA, partly because of the financial situation, stress and busy-ness, we haven't done as good a job and it "shows" in our relationship. So we are having to work harder at getting back that lost ground which is more difficult (but do-able).

Here's one thing I've learned through all of this: a major part of a happy, healthy marriage (or partnership) is friendship. And, if we are not taking the time to nurture the friendship, just like any other friendship, it withers.

So, as hard as it is, we just have to make this a priority and I totally get how hard it is; that's why we didn't do it! But now I am speaking from *Experience* how important the friendship part is and I wish we had paid more attention to it.

And it could be as simple as playing cards together after the kids go to bed or meeting for coffee during the day if schedules allow. Or doing yardwork together. Or even cooking together. The key word is "together." Keeping the friendship alive is, I think, key. It gives us joy and we need as much of that as we can get with all that we deal with.

One of the best gifts we can give our kids (and ourselves) is a healthy relationship/ marriage. And there's no doubt that it takes some effort. It's kind of like a garden- we have to pull the weeds and nurture the flowers or else we'll have a big mess!

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Rebecca,
Good job taking care of yourself with the running! You've trained your kids well.

I am answering this one as a "CF mom" not necessarily as an expert. And yes, we do have a very hard time focusing on our relationship. And, to be honest, we are having a hard time now- with the stress of my hubby's job loss- because of the years of not doing so (but I think it will be okay).

When we were in CA, we scheduled a bi-weekly date night with our babysitter way in advance. But then a kid would get sick or something would happen. But, we mostly made it work.

Since being transferred to WA, partly because of the financial situation, stress and busy-ness, we haven't done as good a job and it "shows" in our relationship. So we are having to work harder at getting back that lost ground which is more difficult (but do-able).

Here's one thing I've learned through all of this: a major part of a happy, healthy marriage (or partnership) is friendship. And, if we are not taking the time to nurture the friendship, just like any other friendship, it withers.

So, as hard as it is, we just have to make this a priority and I totally get how hard it is; that's why we didn't do it! But now I am speaking from *Experience* how important the friendship part is and I wish we had paid more attention to it.

And it could be as simple as playing cards together after the kids go to bed or meeting for coffee during the day if schedules allow. Or doing yardwork together. Or even cooking together. The key word is "together." Keeping the friendship alive is, I think, key. It gives us joy and we need as much of that as we can get with all that we deal with.

One of the best gifts we can give our kids (and ourselves) is a healthy relationship/ marriage. And there's no doubt that it takes some effort. It's kind of like a garden- we have to pull the weeds and nurture the flowers or else we'll have a big mess!

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Rebecca,
Good job taking care of yourself with the running! You've trained your kids well.

I am answering this one as a "CF mom" not necessarily as an expert. And yes, we do have a very hard time focusing on our relationship. And, to be honest, we are having a hard time now- with the stress of my hubby's job loss- because of the years of not doing so (but I think it will be okay).

When we were in CA, we scheduled a bi-weekly date night with our babysitter way in advance. But then a kid would get sick or something would happen. But, we mostly made it work.

Since being transferred to WA, partly because of the financial situation, stress and busy-ness, we haven't done as good a job and it "shows" in our relationship. So we are having to work harder at getting back that lost ground which is more difficult (but do-able).

Here's one thing I've learned through all of this: a major part of a happy, healthy marriage (or partnership) is friendship. And, if we are not taking the time to nurture the friendship, just like any other friendship, it withers.

So, as hard as it is, we just have to make this a priority and I totally get how hard it is; that's why we didn't do it! But now I am speaking from *Experience* how important the friendship part is and I wish we had paid more attention to it.

And it could be as simple as playing cards together after the kids go to bed or meeting for coffee during the day if schedules allow. Or doing yardwork together. Or even cooking together. The key word is "together." Keeping the friendship alive is, I think, key. It gives us joy and we need as much of that as we can get with all that we deal with.

One of the best gifts we can give our kids (and ourselves) is a healthy relationship/ marriage. And there's no doubt that it takes some effort. It's kind of like a garden- we have to pull the weeds and nurture the flowers or else we'll have a big mess!

 

[LisaGreene]

Hi Rebecca,
<br />Good job taking care of yourself with the running! You've trained your kids well.
<br />
<br />I am answering this one as a "CF mom" not necessarily as an expert. And yes, we do have a very hard time focusing on our relationship. And, to be honest, we are having a hard time now- with the stress of my hubby's job loss- because of the years of not doing so (but I think it will be okay).
<br />
<br />When we were in CA, we scheduled a bi-weekly date night with our babysitter way in advance. But then a kid would get sick or something would happen. But, we mostly made it work.
<br />
<br />Since being transferred to WA, partly because of the financial situation, stress and busy-ness, we haven't done as good a job and it "shows" in our relationship. So we are having to work harder at getting back that lost ground which is more difficult (but do-able).
<br />
<br />Here's one thing I've learned through all of this: a major part of a happy, healthy marriage (or partnership) is friendship. And, if we are not taking the time to nurture the friendship, just like any other friendship, it withers.
<br />
<br />So, as hard as it is, we just have to make this a priority and I totally get how hard it is; that's why we didn't do it! But now I am speaking from *Experience* how important the friendship part is and I wish we had paid more attention to it.
<br />
<br />And it could be as simple as playing cards together after the kids go to bed or meeting for coffee during the day if schedules allow. Or doing yardwork together. Or even cooking together. The key word is "together." Keeping the friendship alive is, I think, key. It gives us joy and we need as much of that as we can get with all that we deal with.
<br />
<br />One of the best gifts we can give our kids (and ourselves) is a healthy relationship/ marriage. And there's no doubt that it takes some effort. It's kind of like a garden- we have to pull the weeds and nurture the flowers or else we'll have a big mess!