Not Listening or Answering

R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We used a similar tactic on Wednesday night. Didn't get vest/nebs done in time, didn't get to go to grandma and grandpa's house for supper and to play. And I felt like sulking a bit because we didn't get to go to a movie.

Last night I reminded him on the car ride home that he needed to take his medicine and start his vest so he'd have time to play. Did remind him once again when he was running thru the house like a banshee, chasing the dog with a nerf sword. But we got things done in enough time for him to go to his grandparents house and for us to see a movie.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We used a similar tactic on Wednesday night. Didn't get vest/nebs done in time, didn't get to go to grandma and grandpa's house for supper and to play. And I felt like sulking a bit because we didn't get to go to a movie.

Last night I reminded him on the car ride home that he needed to take his medicine and start his vest so he'd have time to play. Did remind him once again when he was running thru the house like a banshee, chasing the dog with a nerf sword. But we got things done in enough time for him to go to his grandparents house and for us to see a movie.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We used a similar tactic on Wednesday night. Didn't get vest/nebs done in time, didn't get to go to grandma and grandpa's house for supper and to play. And I felt like sulking a bit because we didn't get to go to a movie.

Last night I reminded him on the car ride home that he needed to take his medicine and start his vest so he'd have time to play. Did remind him once again when he was running thru the house like a banshee, chasing the dog with a nerf sword. But we got things done in enough time for him to go to his grandparents house and for us to see a movie.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We used a similar tactic on Wednesday night. Didn't get vest/nebs done in time, didn't get to go to grandma and grandpa's house for supper and to play. And I felt like sulking a bit because we didn't get to go to a movie.

Last night I reminded him on the car ride home that he needed to take his medicine and start his vest so he'd have time to play. Did remind him once again when he was running thru the house like a banshee, chasing the dog with a nerf sword. But we got things done in enough time for him to go to his grandparents house and for us to see a movie.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We used a similar tactic on Wednesday night. Didn't get vest/nebs done in time, didn't get to go to grandma and grandpa's house for supper and to play. And I felt like sulking a bit because we didn't get to go to a movie.
<br />
<br />Last night I reminded him on the car ride home that he needed to take his medicine and start his vest so he'd have time to play. Did remind him once again when he was running thru the house like a banshee, chasing the dog with a nerf sword. But we got things done in enough time for him to go to his grandparents house and for us to see a movie.
 
H

hmw

New member
Yeah, it is hard when follow-through for the kids ends up punishing US (whether it's due to the kids' reaction in general or due to something we can't do, etc.) But I try to remind myself that during the process it will be for the short term and the long term benefits are worth it. I try to choose consequences for the kids that don't affect ME as much as they will affect THEM but it can be hard! I'm glad Max got it on night #2.

It can be hard to get out of patterns of arguing with them, nagging, getting emotional etc (the kids know exactly how to push our buttons!) It doesn't happen overnight and requires tweaking as their developmental levels keep changing. One of our kids has a severe emotional/behavioral disorder (along with anxiety and adhd) and has been in counseling... and one thing I can definitely say about that is a lot of what has been addressed has been for us as parents, it's certainly not all for him. He's come a long long way in the last couple years but it hasn't been easy and I don't think he ever WILL be easy.

I'd never heard of the Love & Logic methods until pretty recently but we were taught very similar techniques through his counseling and I can tell you they DO work. I can't say enough about teaching them the consequence thing while the stakes are SMALL because when they are 6 even vs. when they are 11 is a world of difference (nevermind teenage yrs!) and the lesson is far better learned at 6. I also can't agree more with giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be capable... they are far more capable than we often give them credit for (essentially, they are as capable as we allow them to be) and allowing this does so much for them. We have seen this too.

We all learned a couple yrs ago that our son was capable of making choices that quite literally could make the difference between his life or his death. Allowing children to learn while consequences are much much smaller than this is absolutely VITAL, and no- the process is not always fun or comfortable for us parents to deal with (or the child)... but it's real life and must be done, for their for their own good and future benefit.

It's not fair they have to face the reality of their health issues, but it is what it is... it would be even less fair to be thrust into the world less than capable of coping with it. And this ability starts to develop very young.
 
H

hmw

New member
Yeah, it is hard when follow-through for the kids ends up punishing US (whether it's due to the kids' reaction in general or due to something we can't do, etc.) But I try to remind myself that during the process it will be for the short term and the long term benefits are worth it. I try to choose consequences for the kids that don't affect ME as much as they will affect THEM but it can be hard! I'm glad Max got it on night #2.

It can be hard to get out of patterns of arguing with them, nagging, getting emotional etc (the kids know exactly how to push our buttons!) It doesn't happen overnight and requires tweaking as their developmental levels keep changing. One of our kids has a severe emotional/behavioral disorder (along with anxiety and adhd) and has been in counseling... and one thing I can definitely say about that is a lot of what has been addressed has been for us as parents, it's certainly not all for him. He's come a long long way in the last couple years but it hasn't been easy and I don't think he ever WILL be easy.

I'd never heard of the Love & Logic methods until pretty recently but we were taught very similar techniques through his counseling and I can tell you they DO work. I can't say enough about teaching them the consequence thing while the stakes are SMALL because when they are 6 even vs. when they are 11 is a world of difference (nevermind teenage yrs!) and the lesson is far better learned at 6. I also can't agree more with giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be capable... they are far more capable than we often give them credit for (essentially, they are as capable as we allow them to be) and allowing this does so much for them. We have seen this too.

We all learned a couple yrs ago that our son was capable of making choices that quite literally could make the difference between his life or his death. Allowing children to learn while consequences are much much smaller than this is absolutely VITAL, and no- the process is not always fun or comfortable for us parents to deal with (or the child)... but it's real life and must be done, for their for their own good and future benefit.

It's not fair they have to face the reality of their health issues, but it is what it is... it would be even less fair to be thrust into the world less than capable of coping with it. And this ability starts to develop very young.
 
H

hmw

New member
Yeah, it is hard when follow-through for the kids ends up punishing US (whether it's due to the kids' reaction in general or due to something we can't do, etc.) But I try to remind myself that during the process it will be for the short term and the long term benefits are worth it. I try to choose consequences for the kids that don't affect ME as much as they will affect THEM but it can be hard! I'm glad Max got it on night #2.

It can be hard to get out of patterns of arguing with them, nagging, getting emotional etc (the kids know exactly how to push our buttons!) It doesn't happen overnight and requires tweaking as their developmental levels keep changing. One of our kids has a severe emotional/behavioral disorder (along with anxiety and adhd) and has been in counseling... and one thing I can definitely say about that is a lot of what has been addressed has been for us as parents, it's certainly not all for him. He's come a long long way in the last couple years but it hasn't been easy and I don't think he ever WILL be easy.

I'd never heard of the Love & Logic methods until pretty recently but we were taught very similar techniques through his counseling and I can tell you they DO work. I can't say enough about teaching them the consequence thing while the stakes are SMALL because when they are 6 even vs. when they are 11 is a world of difference (nevermind teenage yrs!) and the lesson is far better learned at 6. I also can't agree more with giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be capable... they are far more capable than we often give them credit for (essentially, they are as capable as we allow them to be) and allowing this does so much for them. We have seen this too.

We all learned a couple yrs ago that our son was capable of making choices that quite literally could make the difference between his life or his death. Allowing children to learn while consequences are much much smaller than this is absolutely VITAL, and no- the process is not always fun or comfortable for us parents to deal with (or the child)... but it's real life and must be done, for their for their own good and future benefit.

It's not fair they have to face the reality of their health issues, but it is what it is... it would be even less fair to be thrust into the world less than capable of coping with it. And this ability starts to develop very young.
 
H

hmw

New member
Yeah, it is hard when follow-through for the kids ends up punishing US (whether it's due to the kids' reaction in general or due to something we can't do, etc.) But I try to remind myself that during the process it will be for the short term and the long term benefits are worth it. I try to choose consequences for the kids that don't affect ME as much as they will affect THEM but it can be hard! I'm glad Max got it on night #2.

It can be hard to get out of patterns of arguing with them, nagging, getting emotional etc (the kids know exactly how to push our buttons!) It doesn't happen overnight and requires tweaking as their developmental levels keep changing. One of our kids has a severe emotional/behavioral disorder (along with anxiety and adhd) and has been in counseling... and one thing I can definitely say about that is a lot of what has been addressed has been for us as parents, it's certainly not all for him. He's come a long long way in the last couple years but it hasn't been easy and I don't think he ever WILL be easy.

I'd never heard of the Love & Logic methods until pretty recently but we were taught very similar techniques through his counseling and I can tell you they DO work. I can't say enough about teaching them the consequence thing while the stakes are SMALL because when they are 6 even vs. when they are 11 is a world of difference (nevermind teenage yrs!) and the lesson is far better learned at 6. I also can't agree more with giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be capable... they are far more capable than we often give them credit for (essentially, they are as capable as we allow them to be) and allowing this does so much for them. We have seen this too.

We all learned a couple yrs ago that our son was capable of making choices that quite literally could make the difference between his life or his death. Allowing children to learn while consequences are much much smaller than this is absolutely VITAL, and no- the process is not always fun or comfortable for us parents to deal with (or the child)... but it's real life and must be done, for their for their own good and future benefit.

It's not fair they have to face the reality of their health issues, but it is what it is... it would be even less fair to be thrust into the world less than capable of coping with it. And this ability starts to develop very young.
 
H

hmw

New member
Yeah, it is hard when follow-through for the kids ends up punishing US (whether it's due to the kids' reaction in general or due to something we can't do, etc.) But I try to remind myself that during the process it will be for the short term and the long term benefits are worth it. I try to choose consequences for the kids that don't affect ME as much as they will affect THEM but it can be hard! I'm glad Max got it on night #2.
<br />
<br />It can be hard to get out of patterns of arguing with them, nagging, getting emotional etc (the kids know exactly how to push our buttons!) It doesn't happen overnight and requires tweaking as their developmental levels keep changing. One of our kids has a severe emotional/behavioral disorder (along with anxiety and adhd) and has been in counseling... and one thing I can definitely say about that is a lot of what has been addressed has been for us as parents, it's certainly not all for him. He's come a long long way in the last couple years but it hasn't been easy and I don't think he ever WILL be easy.
<br />
<br />I'd never heard of the Love & Logic methods until pretty recently but we were taught very similar techniques through his counseling and I can tell you they DO work. I can't say enough about teaching them the consequence thing while the stakes are SMALL because when they are 6 even vs. when they are 11 is a world of difference (nevermind teenage yrs!) and the lesson is far better learned at 6. I also can't agree more with giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be capable... they are far more capable than we often give them credit for (essentially, they are as capable as we allow them to be) and allowing this does so much for them. We have seen this too.
<br />
<br />We all learned a couple yrs ago that our son was capable of making choices that quite literally could make the difference between his life or his death. Allowing children to learn while consequences are much much smaller than this is absolutely VITAL, and no- the process is not always fun or comfortable for us parents to deal with (or the child)... but it's real life and must be done, for their for their own good and future benefit.
<br />
<br />It's not fair they have to face the reality of their health issues, but it is what it is... it would be even less fair to be thrust into the world less than capable of coping with it. And this ability starts to develop very young.
 
G

gracebazzle

New member
I don't know if this will help since I'm not a parent but a patient, but I just know what my parents did for me.

It might sound harsh, but my parents were told by docs from the time my brother and I were diagnosed that it was OUR disease, NOT my parents. And it's so true. Yes, your parents are there to guide you, but it is YOUR responsibility to take care of yourself. We had to understand at an early age that if we wanted to be healthy and able to go to school and play with our friends like we wanted, we had to take our pills and do our vest/cpt. I guess this is why CF patients mature at such a young age because we learn the importance of being responsible so early on.

I know 6 years old might be a little young, but I honestly don't remember a time where I wasn't at least trying to do things myself. Of course a 6 yr old will need help with some things like cleaning nebs and making sure they are taking the right number of pills...but teaching the responsibility and having them do stuff on their own gradually is the way to go.

I am so thankful for the way my parents raised and taught us how to deal with our disease. They are always there for me to stay with me when I go in the hospital or have an exacerbation, or offer advice on days when I'm feeling frustrated with my CF, and overall just be there to listen. And although they might share my frustrations and worries when it comes to CF, it is MY responsibility to be compliant.

Oh and P.S. It only takes a few times of missing those enzymes and experiencing the stomach pains and hours in the bathroom before you DON'T miss them anymore!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
G

gracebazzle

New member
I don't know if this will help since I'm not a parent but a patient, but I just know what my parents did for me.

It might sound harsh, but my parents were told by docs from the time my brother and I were diagnosed that it was OUR disease, NOT my parents. And it's so true. Yes, your parents are there to guide you, but it is YOUR responsibility to take care of yourself. We had to understand at an early age that if we wanted to be healthy and able to go to school and play with our friends like we wanted, we had to take our pills and do our vest/cpt. I guess this is why CF patients mature at such a young age because we learn the importance of being responsible so early on.

I know 6 years old might be a little young, but I honestly don't remember a time where I wasn't at least trying to do things myself. Of course a 6 yr old will need help with some things like cleaning nebs and making sure they are taking the right number of pills...but teaching the responsibility and having them do stuff on their own gradually is the way to go.

I am so thankful for the way my parents raised and taught us how to deal with our disease. They are always there for me to stay with me when I go in the hospital or have an exacerbation, or offer advice on days when I'm feeling frustrated with my CF, and overall just be there to listen. And although they might share my frustrations and worries when it comes to CF, it is MY responsibility to be compliant.

Oh and P.S. It only takes a few times of missing those enzymes and experiencing the stomach pains and hours in the bathroom before you DON'T miss them anymore!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
G

gracebazzle

New member
I don't know if this will help since I'm not a parent but a patient, but I just know what my parents did for me.

It might sound harsh, but my parents were told by docs from the time my brother and I were diagnosed that it was OUR disease, NOT my parents. And it's so true. Yes, your parents are there to guide you, but it is YOUR responsibility to take care of yourself. We had to understand at an early age that if we wanted to be healthy and able to go to school and play with our friends like we wanted, we had to take our pills and do our vest/cpt. I guess this is why CF patients mature at such a young age because we learn the importance of being responsible so early on.

I know 6 years old might be a little young, but I honestly don't remember a time where I wasn't at least trying to do things myself. Of course a 6 yr old will need help with some things like cleaning nebs and making sure they are taking the right number of pills...but teaching the responsibility and having them do stuff on their own gradually is the way to go.

I am so thankful for the way my parents raised and taught us how to deal with our disease. They are always there for me to stay with me when I go in the hospital or have an exacerbation, or offer advice on days when I'm feeling frustrated with my CF, and overall just be there to listen. And although they might share my frustrations and worries when it comes to CF, it is MY responsibility to be compliant.

Oh and P.S. It only takes a few times of missing those enzymes and experiencing the stomach pains and hours in the bathroom before you DON'T miss them anymore!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
G

gracebazzle

New member
I don't know if this will help since I'm not a parent but a patient, but I just know what my parents did for me.

It might sound harsh, but my parents were told by docs from the time my brother and I were diagnosed that it was OUR disease, NOT my parents. And it's so true. Yes, your parents are there to guide you, but it is YOUR responsibility to take care of yourself. We had to understand at an early age that if we wanted to be healthy and able to go to school and play with our friends like we wanted, we had to take our pills and do our vest/cpt. I guess this is why CF patients mature at such a young age because we learn the importance of being responsible so early on.

I know 6 years old might be a little young, but I honestly don't remember a time where I wasn't at least trying to do things myself. Of course a 6 yr old will need help with some things like cleaning nebs and making sure they are taking the right number of pills...but teaching the responsibility and having them do stuff on their own gradually is the way to go.

I am so thankful for the way my parents raised and taught us how to deal with our disease. They are always there for me to stay with me when I go in the hospital or have an exacerbation, or offer advice on days when I'm feeling frustrated with my CF, and overall just be there to listen. And although they might share my frustrations and worries when it comes to CF, it is MY responsibility to be compliant.

Oh and P.S. It only takes a few times of missing those enzymes and experiencing the stomach pains and hours in the bathroom before you DON'T miss them anymore!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
G

gracebazzle

New member
I don't know if this will help since I'm not a parent but a patient, but I just know what my parents did for me.
<br />
<br />It might sound harsh, but my parents were told by docs from the time my brother and I were diagnosed that it was OUR disease, NOT my parents. And it's so true. Yes, your parents are there to guide you, but it is YOUR responsibility to take care of yourself. We had to understand at an early age that if we wanted to be healthy and able to go to school and play with our friends like we wanted, we had to take our pills and do our vest/cpt. I guess this is why CF patients mature at such a young age because we learn the importance of being responsible so early on.
<br />
<br />I know 6 years old might be a little young, but I honestly don't remember a time where I wasn't at least trying to do things myself. Of course a 6 yr old will need help with some things like cleaning nebs and making sure they are taking the right number of pills...but teaching the responsibility and having them do stuff on their own gradually is the way to go.
<br />
<br />I am so thankful for the way my parents raised and taught us how to deal with our disease. They are always there for me to stay with me when I go in the hospital or have an exacerbation, or offer advice on days when I'm feeling frustrated with my CF, and overall just be there to listen. And although they might share my frustrations and worries when it comes to CF, it is MY responsibility to be compliant.
<br />
<br />Oh and P.S. It only takes a few times of missing those enzymes and experiencing the stomach pains and hours in the bathroom before you DON'T miss them anymore!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
A

andrev77

New member
I know when I was younger, I drove my parents crazy. Whether it was by "forgetting" to take my pills, or by playing way too rough (i loved sports and tackle football with people 3X my size). I didn't have the vest until I was about 16, so that definitely didn't go over well. They tried to ground me, but that didn't work because "go to your room, you're not playing with your friends" was fine with me because thats where all my toys were. Kids these days are smarter because of all the technology around them. However, they will get bored easier since they don't know how to get along without all these gadgets that we didn't have when we were younger. Take them away as punishment and things wll start to sink in. Jusr remember though, they are smarter now, so when they are in school and not around anyone with CF, they will want to live the "normal" life of their friends. As a parent, you have to stay on it. They won't do it for themselves and especially not at that age.

Andre 31 w/CF DX @ birth
 
A

andrev77

New member
I know when I was younger, I drove my parents crazy. Whether it was by "forgetting" to take my pills, or by playing way too rough (i loved sports and tackle football with people 3X my size). I didn't have the vest until I was about 16, so that definitely didn't go over well. They tried to ground me, but that didn't work because "go to your room, you're not playing with your friends" was fine with me because thats where all my toys were. Kids these days are smarter because of all the technology around them. However, they will get bored easier since they don't know how to get along without all these gadgets that we didn't have when we were younger. Take them away as punishment and things wll start to sink in. Jusr remember though, they are smarter now, so when they are in school and not around anyone with CF, they will want to live the "normal" life of their friends. As a parent, you have to stay on it. They won't do it for themselves and especially not at that age.

Andre 31 w/CF DX @ birth
 
A

andrev77

New member
I know when I was younger, I drove my parents crazy. Whether it was by "forgetting" to take my pills, or by playing way too rough (i loved sports and tackle football with people 3X my size). I didn't have the vest until I was about 16, so that definitely didn't go over well. They tried to ground me, but that didn't work because "go to your room, you're not playing with your friends" was fine with me because thats where all my toys were. Kids these days are smarter because of all the technology around them. However, they will get bored easier since they don't know how to get along without all these gadgets that we didn't have when we were younger. Take them away as punishment and things wll start to sink in. Jusr remember though, they are smarter now, so when they are in school and not around anyone with CF, they will want to live the "normal" life of their friends. As a parent, you have to stay on it. They won't do it for themselves and especially not at that age.

Andre 31 w/CF DX @ birth
 
A

andrev77

New member
I know when I was younger, I drove my parents crazy. Whether it was by "forgetting" to take my pills, or by playing way too rough (i loved sports and tackle football with people 3X my size). I didn't have the vest until I was about 16, so that definitely didn't go over well. They tried to ground me, but that didn't work because "go to your room, you're not playing with your friends" was fine with me because thats where all my toys were. Kids these days are smarter because of all the technology around them. However, they will get bored easier since they don't know how to get along without all these gadgets that we didn't have when we were younger. Take them away as punishment and things wll start to sink in. Jusr remember though, they are smarter now, so when they are in school and not around anyone with CF, they will want to live the "normal" life of their friends. As a parent, you have to stay on it. They won't do it for themselves and especially not at that age.

Andre 31 w/CF DX @ birth
 
A

andrev77

New member
I know when I was younger, I drove my parents crazy. Whether it was by "forgetting" to take my pills, or by playing way too rough (i loved sports and tackle football with people 3X my size). I didn't have the vest until I was about 16, so that definitely didn't go over well. They tried to ground me, but that didn't work because "go to your room, you're not playing with your friends" was fine with me because thats where all my toys were. Kids these days are smarter because of all the technology around them. However, they will get bored easier since they don't know how to get along without all these gadgets that we didn't have when we were younger. Take them away as punishment and things wll start to sink in. Jusr remember though, they are smarter now, so when they are in school and not around anyone with CF, they will want to live the "normal" life of their friends. As a parent, you have to stay on it. They won't do it for themselves and especially not at that age.
<br />
<br />Andre 31 w/CF DX @ birth
 
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