Off the compliance wagon

Sevenstars · Mar 27, 2008

Thanks guys, even if it is mostly depression (and I'm sure it is) it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's been here. I've done that too before lightNlife... just doing the "minimum" and working my way up. This time though I can't even convince myself to do that.

I have been on a/d in the past, not on any right now. Friends around me have even suggested things like bipolar disorder, that's how different I am now. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I don't really like therapists though, I'd like to see someone just for meds.. my doc was kind enough to recommend a few docs but of course they weren't covered by my insurance, haha. Getting thwarted before I could even get the ball rolling made me reluctant to try to look for others. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Oddly, when I am on IVs I feel most motivated/productive. I feel like I get to be a nurse.. except it's for me! So I kind of get excited to mix up all my meds and stuff.

Anyway thank you guys again so much. I'm still not feeling the urge to get back to doing what I KNOW I need to do, but you did make me feel a bit better. Thanks <3 When I can.. I think my first order of business is going to be trying to fix my mind, then hopefully everything else will follow.

Sevenstars · Mar 27, 2008

Thanks guys, even if it is mostly depression (and I'm sure it is) it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's been here. I've done that too before lightNlife... just doing the "minimum" and working my way up. This time though I can't even convince myself to do that.

I have been on a/d in the past, not on any right now. Friends around me have even suggested things like bipolar disorder, that's how different I am now. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I don't really like therapists though, I'd like to see someone just for meds.. my doc was kind enough to recommend a few docs but of course they weren't covered by my insurance, haha. Getting thwarted before I could even get the ball rolling made me reluctant to try to look for others. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Oddly, when I am on IVs I feel most motivated/productive. I feel like I get to be a nurse.. except it's for me! So I kind of get excited to mix up all my meds and stuff.

Anyway thank you guys again so much. I'm still not feeling the urge to get back to doing what I KNOW I need to do, but you did make me feel a bit better. Thanks <3 When I can.. I think my first order of business is going to be trying to fix my mind, then hopefully everything else will follow.

Sevenstars · Mar 27, 2008

Thanks guys, even if it is mostly depression (and I'm sure it is) it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's been here. I've done that too before lightNlife... just doing the "minimum" and working my way up. This time though I can't even convince myself to do that.

I have been on a/d in the past, not on any right now. Friends around me have even suggested things like bipolar disorder, that's how different I am now. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I don't really like therapists though, I'd like to see someone just for meds.. my doc was kind enough to recommend a few docs but of course they weren't covered by my insurance, haha. Getting thwarted before I could even get the ball rolling made me reluctant to try to look for others. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Oddly, when I am on IVs I feel most motivated/productive. I feel like I get to be a nurse.. except it's for me! So I kind of get excited to mix up all my meds and stuff.

Anyway thank you guys again so much. I'm still not feeling the urge to get back to doing what I KNOW I need to do, but you did make me feel a bit better. Thanks <3 When I can.. I think my first order of business is going to be trying to fix my mind, then hopefully everything else will follow.

Sevenstars · Mar 27, 2008

Thanks guys, even if it is mostly depression (and I'm sure it is) it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's been here. I've done that too before lightNlife... just doing the "minimum" and working my way up. This time though I can't even convince myself to do that.

I have been on a/d in the past, not on any right now. Friends around me have even suggested things like bipolar disorder, that's how different I am now. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I don't really like therapists though, I'd like to see someone just for meds.. my doc was kind enough to recommend a few docs but of course they weren't covered by my insurance, haha. Getting thwarted before I could even get the ball rolling made me reluctant to try to look for others. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Oddly, when I am on IVs I feel most motivated/productive. I feel like I get to be a nurse.. except it's for me! So I kind of get excited to mix up all my meds and stuff.

Anyway thank you guys again so much. I'm still not feeling the urge to get back to doing what I KNOW I need to do, but you did make me feel a bit better. Thanks <3 When I can.. I think my first order of business is going to be trying to fix my mind, then hopefully everything else will follow.

Sevenstars · Mar 27, 2008

Thanks guys, even if it is mostly depression (and I'm sure it is) it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's been here. I've done that too before lightNlife... just doing the "minimum" and working my way up. This time though I can't even convince myself to do that.
 
 I have been on a/d in the past, not on any right now. Friends around me have even suggested things like bipolar disorder, that's how different I am now. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I don't really like therapists though, I'd like to see someone just for meds.. my doc was kind enough to recommend a few docs but of course they weren't covered by my insurance, haha. Getting thwarted before I could even get the ball rolling made me reluctant to try to look for others. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
 
 Oddly, when I am on IVs I feel most motivated/productive. I feel like I get to be a nurse.. except it's for me! So I kind of get excited to mix up all my meds and stuff.
 
 Anyway thank you guys again so much. I'm still not feeling the urge to get back to doing what I KNOW I need to do, but you did make me feel a bit better. Thanks <3 When I can.. I think my first order of business is going to be trying to fix my mind, then hopefully everything else will follow.

LGMClark · Mar 27, 2008

What is it with this disease? I was on a "health kick" all summer. I was doing pulmonary rehab on my own and brought my PFT's up to a 40!(from 28%, a record low)Then...boom...one day, I just stopped. I got distracted by something and I and haven't been back to the gym since...and yes, I just got discharged on Saturday with home IV's and FEV of 32% and feel like all that hard work during the summer was wasted.
Then I get mad at myself..but still do nothing. My husband jogs on the treadmill everyday, and i sit and watch him (and feel tired just from that!

)
Anyway, the waves of depression come and go..mostly when I'm sick..
It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who goes through it though;-)

Does anyone feel like they do worse in the winter?

LGMClark · Mar 27, 2008

What is it with this disease? I was on a "health kick" all summer. I was doing pulmonary rehab on my own and brought my PFT's up to a 40!(from 28%, a record low)Then...boom...one day, I just stopped. I got distracted by something and I and haven't been back to the gym since...and yes, I just got discharged on Saturday with home IV's and FEV of 32% and feel like all that hard work during the summer was wasted.
Then I get mad at myself..but still do nothing. My husband jogs on the treadmill everyday, and i sit and watch him (and feel tired just from that!

)
Anyway, the waves of depression come and go..mostly when I'm sick..
It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who goes through it though;-)

Does anyone feel like they do worse in the winter?

LGMClark · Mar 27, 2008

What is it with this disease? I was on a "health kick" all summer. I was doing pulmonary rehab on my own and brought my PFT's up to a 40!(from 28%, a record low)Then...boom...one day, I just stopped. I got distracted by something and I and haven't been back to the gym since...and yes, I just got discharged on Saturday with home IV's and FEV of 32% and feel like all that hard work during the summer was wasted.
Then I get mad at myself..but still do nothing. My husband jogs on the treadmill everyday, and i sit and watch him (and feel tired just from that!

)
Anyway, the waves of depression come and go..mostly when I'm sick..
It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who goes through it though;-)

Does anyone feel like they do worse in the winter?

LGMClark · Mar 27, 2008

What is it with this disease? I was on a "health kick" all summer. I was doing pulmonary rehab on my own and brought my PFT's up to a 40!(from 28%, a record low)Then...boom...one day, I just stopped. I got distracted by something and I and haven't been back to the gym since...and yes, I just got discharged on Saturday with home IV's and FEV of 32% and feel like all that hard work during the summer was wasted.
Then I get mad at myself..but still do nothing. My husband jogs on the treadmill everyday, and i sit and watch him (and feel tired just from that!

)
Anyway, the waves of depression come and go..mostly when I'm sick..
It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who goes through it though;-)

Does anyone feel like they do worse in the winter?

LGMClark · Mar 27, 2008

What is it with this disease? I was on a "health kick" all summer. I was doing pulmonary rehab on my own and brought my PFT's up to a 40!(from 28%, a record low)Then...boom...one day, I just stopped. I got distracted by something and I and haven't been back to the gym since...and yes, I just got discharged on Saturday with home IV's and FEV of 32% and feel like all that hard work during the summer was wasted.
 Then I get mad at myself..but still do nothing. My husband jogs on the treadmill everyday, and i sit and watch him (and feel tired just from that!

)
 Anyway, the waves of depression come and go..mostly when I'm sick..
 It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who goes through it though;-)
 
 Does anyone feel like they do worse in the winter?

Emeraldmirror · Mar 27, 2008

I feel the same way! You do everything great for months at a time and the doctors are happy and everything, and then one day... you just don't want to anymore. You get distracted, you decide you want to get on with your life, things start slowly going down hill, but by then it's sooo hard to get back into the routine. You find excuses not to. "well my nebulizers aren't clean right now" "well i just don't have the time"... and so on. I think it's just something that you get when you're sick all the time like we are. I'm glad that I'm not the only one as well. I was just thinking today I must be the only one that's really bad at it.

Yes I do find winter is so much worse.. I mean.. it's dark, and crappy, and cold and just plain not fun!

Ashley 23 w/cf

Emeraldmirror · Mar 27, 2008

I feel the same way! You do everything great for months at a time and the doctors are happy and everything, and then one day... you just don't want to anymore. You get distracted, you decide you want to get on with your life, things start slowly going down hill, but by then it's sooo hard to get back into the routine. You find excuses not to. "well my nebulizers aren't clean right now" "well i just don't have the time"... and so on. I think it's just something that you get when you're sick all the time like we are. I'm glad that I'm not the only one as well. I was just thinking today I must be the only one that's really bad at it.

Yes I do find winter is so much worse.. I mean.. it's dark, and crappy, and cold and just plain not fun!

Ashley 23 w/cf

Emeraldmirror · Mar 27, 2008

I feel the same way! You do everything great for months at a time and the doctors are happy and everything, and then one day... you just don't want to anymore. You get distracted, you decide you want to get on with your life, things start slowly going down hill, but by then it's sooo hard to get back into the routine. You find excuses not to. "well my nebulizers aren't clean right now" "well i just don't have the time"... and so on. I think it's just something that you get when you're sick all the time like we are. I'm glad that I'm not the only one as well. I was just thinking today I must be the only one that's really bad at it.

Yes I do find winter is so much worse.. I mean.. it's dark, and crappy, and cold and just plain not fun!

Ashley 23 w/cf

Emeraldmirror · Mar 27, 2008

I feel the same way! You do everything great for months at a time and the doctors are happy and everything, and then one day... you just don't want to anymore. You get distracted, you decide you want to get on with your life, things start slowly going down hill, but by then it's sooo hard to get back into the routine. You find excuses not to. "well my nebulizers aren't clean right now" "well i just don't have the time"... and so on. I think it's just something that you get when you're sick all the time like we are. I'm glad that I'm not the only one as well. I was just thinking today I must be the only one that's really bad at it.

Yes I do find winter is so much worse.. I mean.. it's dark, and crappy, and cold and just plain not fun!

Ashley 23 w/cf

Emeraldmirror · Mar 27, 2008

I feel the same way! You do everything great for months at a time and the doctors are happy and everything, and then one day... you just don't want to anymore. You get distracted, you decide you want to get on with your life, things start slowly going down hill, but by then it's sooo hard to get back into the routine. You find excuses not to. "well my nebulizers aren't clean right now" "well i just don't have the time"... and so on. I think it's just something that you get when you're sick all the time like we are. I'm glad that I'm not the only one as well. I was just thinking today I must be the only one that's really bad at it.
 
 Yes I do find winter is so much worse.. I mean.. it's dark, and crappy, and cold and just plain not fun!
 
 Ashley 23 w/cf

cfsucks · Mar 27, 2008

since my last visit i focussed on doing everything... tried to never miss a treatment, pills, go the gym... got a cold for about a month, so i stopped with the gym, but kept with the meds. had clinic today and my fev1 and fvc dropped 10%, so im starting cipro and sepra (sp) for a month. i'm pretty stable most of the time. i severely cut down on drinking, maybe it was that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

cfsucks · Mar 27, 2008

since my last visit i focussed on doing everything... tried to never miss a treatment, pills, go the gym... got a cold for about a month, so i stopped with the gym, but kept with the meds. had clinic today and my fev1 and fvc dropped 10%, so im starting cipro and sepra (sp) for a month. i'm pretty stable most of the time. i severely cut down on drinking, maybe it was that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

cfsucks · Mar 27, 2008

since my last visit i focussed on doing everything... tried to never miss a treatment, pills, go the gym... got a cold for about a month, so i stopped with the gym, but kept with the meds. had clinic today and my fev1 and fvc dropped 10%, so im starting cipro and sepra (sp) for a month. i'm pretty stable most of the time. i severely cut down on drinking, maybe it was that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

cfsucks · Mar 27, 2008

since my last visit i focussed on doing everything... tried to never miss a treatment, pills, go the gym... got a cold for about a month, so i stopped with the gym, but kept with the meds. had clinic today and my fev1 and fvc dropped 10%, so im starting cipro and sepra (sp) for a month. i'm pretty stable most of the time. i severely cut down on drinking, maybe it was that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

cfsucks · Mar 27, 2008

since my last visit i focussed on doing everything... tried to never miss a treatment, pills, go the gym... got a cold for about a month, so i stopped with the gym, but kept with the meds. had clinic today and my fev1 and fvc dropped 10%, so im starting cipro and sepra (sp) for a month. i'm pretty stable most of the time. i severely cut down on drinking, maybe it was that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

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