poem to share

anonymous

New member
I received this in a newsletter I received this weekend. I just wanted to share it because it really hit home with me. Sorry I am not logged in, at work and in a hurry.....
momofjosh

WHAT IS NORMAL NOW?

NORMAL is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day and Easter.

NORMAL is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers, see the casket and all the crying people.

NORMAL is feeling like you can't sit through another minute without screaming because you just don't like to sit through church anymore. And yet at the same time feeling like you have more faith in God than you ever had before.

NORMAL is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life.

NORMAL is not sleeping because a thousand "what ifs" go through your head constantly.

NORMAL is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have some "noise" because the silence is deafening.

NORMAL is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday common event and then gasping in horror at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become part of normal conversation.

NORMAL is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and their birthday and surviving those days. And trying to find a balloon or flag that fits the occasion, "Happy Birthday"? Not really!

NORMAL is a new friendship with another bereaved parent and meeting over coffee and talking and crying together over your children. And worrying together over the surviving children.

NORMAL is being too tired to care if you paid your bills, cleaned your house, did the laundry or if there is food in the house.

NORMAL is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have 2 or 3 children because you will never see this person again, and is it worth explaining that one of them has passed away. And yet, when you say 2 children to avoid the problem you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your child.

NORMAL is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think you are 'NORMAL".
 

momoftraci

New member
Hi Momofjosh,,<br>
That poam is sooo true. IM glad you posted i just wanted to know
how things are with you? I Hope all is ok .....Hope to hear from
you.<br>
Gail<br>
TRACI,,2-2-88....3-24-05
 

momofjosh

New member
momoftraci:
Thanks for asking how I am. Not the greatest, but hanging in there. Saturday July 1st is Josh 22 birthday. So of course it's hard this week. I think of you often. I know it's been a year for you, it has only been 5 months for me. It feels like it just isn't getting any better. But I have a 3 yr. old and a 17 yr. old to take care of, so I just have to keep going every day. I knew a lot of people could relate to that poem. It really hits the nail on the head.
momofjosh
 

anonymous

New member
DEAR MOMOFJOSH,
THIS POEM IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY. I LOST MY SON BOBBY 5 YEARS AGO. HE WAS 17. I WISH I COULD TELL YOU THAT IT GETS EASIER, BUT NOT AT ALL. THIS IS A SAD CLUB TO JOIN, ONE THAT NO PARENT EVER WANT TO BELONG. TAKE CARE.
MARY JO
 

Allisa35

Member
MomofJosh, I don't know you or your history, but I gather that your son has passed. I am deeply sorry. My best friend just had the 10th year anniversary of her son's death. He did not have CF (he died hours after being born). I know that the loss is always there and she still thinks about him all the time. It's still very hard for her.

It's a very touching poem. I hope things get better for you.
 

Jane

Digital opinion leader
To those parents who have lost their beloved children, I am so very, very sorry.
 

momoftraci

New member
MOMOFJOSH,GLAD YOU WROTE BACK,,WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO CELEBRATE
HIS B-DAY? I SENT 18 BALLOONS TO HEAVEN...I TAGGED EACH ONE TOO. I
MUST SAY IT WAS NICE I FELT SHE WAS WITH ME.WE ALSO HAD SOME CLOSE
PEOPLE OVER AND BOUGHT A B-DAY CAKE.<br>
THE WEEK BEFORE IS HARDER.I THINK WE JUST THINK ABOUT IT SO
MUCH.<br>
AND FOR MARYJO, I HEARD IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER..JUST THE THOUGHT
OF MY GIRL NOT WITH ME THE REST OF MY LIFE GETS ME DOWN SO BAD. I
DONT HAVE ANY SUPPORT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS RAN ...I HAD A SISTER
TELL ME PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE, THE OTHER SISTER SAID IM SORRY IM
JUST TOO BUSY.. I HATE GOING OUT AND PUTTING THAT MASK ON AND SAY
IM OK..BUT ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING...YOUR ALL IN MY PRAYERS AND
LOVE TO TALK TO YOU GUYS SOME MORE!<br>
<br>
GAIL<br>
<br>
TRACI 2-2-88---3-24--05<br>
<br>
 

anonymous

New member
Gail:
My family and a few of freinds are going to the cemetery to launch balloons like we did at his funeral. We all will write a little note on the balloons also. Then we are going to have a cookout and watch videos with Josh in them. I know it will be hard but it is something that I want to do. Last year we through Josh a surprise 21st birthday party. It was so much fun and he was totally surprised. I am sorry you don't have the support of your family. I have a very close family and I don't know how I would get through this without them. You can talk to me anytime you want!!!! Talking to people in my situation helps me greatly! If you want to we can exchange e-mails. Let me know. This is the hardest thing I ever had to go through!!! I miss him terribly.

Mary Jo- I agree, I never wanted to belong to this club! Sorry to hear about your son. Josh and him must be the same age.

momofjosh (Kathy)
 

fugikitten2087

New member
That sounds like what my best freinds Dana's mom tells me. Only she made Jason and I put her stuff away because she couldnt. I love your poem *hugs*..
 

momoftraci

New member
Hi  Kathy,<br>
Yes i would love it very much to exchange E-Mails. And it sounds so
wonderful what your doing on josh birthday. I will have you in my
thoughts and prayers that special day!<br>
My e-mail is MAPTCB@COMCAST.NET...........TALK SOON.<br>
MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL<br>
TRACI...2-2-88......3-24-05
 

mcbrash

New member
Hi Momofjosh

These firsts are such difficults times and I think the anticipation leading up to the day is sometimes worse than the actual day itself. I have just gone through all of our firsts as my Matt has been gone for just over a year now. I honestly don't know if they get any easier or not. For Matt's birthday this year we had friends of his over for pizza and cake and just sat around talking about Matt. This was just after Christmas so they also bought over Christmas decorations for "Matt's Tree". This was an idea I came up with to help get through the first Christmas without Matt. I asked all of his friends if they would make/buy an ornament that depicted their friendship with Matt, the response was just overwhelming and I had a beautiful tree that I will now look forward to putting up each year.
It would be great if yourself, Gail and I could chat online together sometime......do you both have MSN?

Take care

Sandy
 
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