My niece has CF and has been hospitalized again. Her parents are feeling a lot of pressure, especially mom to quit her job and keep her at home to avoid germs. I'm of the opinion that having her live a as normal life as possible is best and her mom should not feel guilty for working. Her mom and dad take turns staying with her in the hospital. I am looking for opinions from parents and children as to the pros and cons of both. BTW my niece is 6 yrs old.
Public vs Home School
- Thread starter teehee
- Start date
I think that it depends on the child. For Ry, he was always grateful that he led a normal life, went to school, college etc. And there's a lot of things and memories of school you can't replace. But there wil be disagreement on this, if you want to see the many, many battles that have been wagedon here aboutt his, I suggest using the search feature.
Emily65Roses
New member
I agree with Allie on many points. Searching the subject is a good idea, because we've all had this fight many times before. I also agree that keeping the child as normal as possible is a good idea. Plus, if you homeschool the child, immune systems generally don't develop as well. So when the child decides to leave home for college or whatever, they're suddenly struck down because the body gets out into the germy world and breaks down, having no idea how to fight that crap off.
babyjaden2004
New member
Jaden is only 17 months old now but we have thought about this as well and have decided to keep her life as normal as we can and think going to school is best. I'm sure would dissagree but this is my child and my choice. Iwant her to enjoy all the things I did and have the fun and be in the plays and everything that comes with going to school. And sure I am scared of the germs and what not but I will not keep her in a bubble. I stay home cause it best for us. She should not feel guilty for working. I would like to go back, but just not yet. Dh would like it for me to be home but I need to get out and have time for me too.
I hope all goes well and she is feeling much better soon.
I hope all goes well and she is feeling much better soon.
We have a pulmonologist who thinks I should either get a nanny or quit my job and take DS out of the daycare center. I too feel DS should lead as normal a life as possible. This same doctor sees absolutely NOTHING wrong with a crowded waiting room on CF clinic days. DS is way too busy. I'd be driven nuts if I stayed at home with him day after day. He needs socialization with other kids his age. At school he learns, plays outside, interacts with other kids.
I have friends with non-cfers who have a nanny and their kids are always sick. Another one is a SAHM and her kids, too are always sickly.
There was recently a story about a CFer on HBO Real Sports who was a golfer -- she was homeschooled. Went off to college and competed in golf her freshman year -- got horribly horribly sick and went into a coma. Can't help but think that because she wasn't exposed to normal germs and developed a resistance that was what caused her to get so horribly sick.
I have friends with non-cfers who have a nanny and their kids are always sick. Another one is a SAHM and her kids, too are always sickly.
There was recently a story about a CFer on HBO Real Sports who was a golfer -- she was homeschooled. Went off to college and competed in golf her freshman year -- got horribly horribly sick and went into a coma. Can't help but think that because she wasn't exposed to normal germs and developed a resistance that was what caused her to get so horribly sick.
my biggest deal would be how would they make any friend if u home school them? they would not get the chance to be a cheerleader, basketball, football and the clubs that u can get in school they would not get that chance. That is one one thing if I die tommrow I would be happy that I have good friends and are there for me know matter what and to me that is all that matter u need good friends for the up times and the down times in anything with or without CF Dustin 23 CFRD
I agree. Social skills don't develop as well as they would in public school, and that's just as important as anything else. I have a neighbor across the street who homeschools his kids. I NEVER see them! They hardly ever come out of the house, and I know for sure that they're going to have a rough time dealing with the real world when they finally get into it! Plus, I agree with Emily about the immune system thing. I went to public school, and towards my last few years of high school, I got sick a lot more often, but it kept me active and my teachers always gave me the make-up assignments and enough time to complete them. I used to work on them even when I was hospitalized, so that's no big deal. I'm all for public education, and from a mental aspect, I think your niece would be much better off.
Lilith- I know your not my neighbor!! HaHa! I home school my middle daughter(non-cf) for educational reasons. We have a blast! I feel that if you homeschool, you have an obligation to keep them active. My daughter goes on field trips with my others' (private)school. When her "issue" is resolved, she will return to the school. Since this is her important "learning to read" years, maybe homeschool 1 or 2yrs if she is missing more school than attending. If they do choose to keep her in school, it's important to keep in close contact with her teacher. I will not be keeping my youngest daughter home just because she has cf, infact we are already planning for pre-K. But, I will warn you that homeschooling is NOT easy.
Michelle
Michelle
Hi...I thought I'd chime in since I am a homeschooling parent. I thought I'd share our journey and what made us choose to give it a try. My daughter (w/out CF) is only in kindergarten and this is our first year homeschooling. Our son is 18 months and has CF. The choice to homeschool came to us in a round about way. While she was in regular preschool, I had looked into several schools including public, Montessori and Waldorf. I fell in love with the Waldorf approach. We happened to have a Waldorf school about 45 minutes from here but it is costly and was way too much driving for my taste. However, the school inspired me so much that I began to look into maybe supplementing her with some of the ideas. I found this vast network of people who homeschool for every reason under the sun. As I asked the tough questions and opened myself to it I was surprised to see such a variety available to us as parents (and students).
Most of my interest stemmed from a philosophical place rather than keeping germs out of the picture. However, she did contract RSV last year and Ben ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks after severe weight loss (he had normal respiratory response to it and came through it okay). So I can say I am excited that both of them are fairing much better this season. We still get our share of germs, but it isn't every 2 weeks any more so I feel that's a good deal
As for socialization, I have to say, I think that is very much up to the parents. I think there are many kids who are maladjusted in other school settings and much of that stems from lack of parental involvement. We have neighbors on each side of us and they play all the time. I have good friends with all ranges of ages and she hasn't complained a bit. In fact, she has made a few unexpected comments about how much she likes what I plan for her and how much time she has to do projects (she felt rushed in preschool). The other part I really enjoy is the flexibilty and choice it offers us. We can really weave our lives around what she is learning and go on all kinds of field trips even with our little one. I also involve her in things she loves outside of the home setting including horses, Irish dancing and ice skating. We have a very supportive family and she does wood shop with her grandpa and sewing projects with her grandma. We do plays at family gatherings and involve friends when we can. There are huge networks of families in almost every city that get together all the time and some parents even co-op together (share skills like musical or artistic ability for science and math skills, etc). The possibilities for shared experiences with others are endless and you can still involve them in sports and groups like girl/boy scouts. So far, we love it and for me I think we will just continually reassess each year and make adjustments as needed. At the point of high school, we plan to let each of them choose for themselves where they would like to go. I think it is too general to state that "normal" equals "traditional schools." Who wants to be "normal" any way!
It has helped me let go of alot in regards to life in general in that I feel l'm slowing learning to take each day as it comes and react when you needed.
As for later illness due to "lack of exposure" I don't buy that. I think there are so many reasons we get sick (CF or not) and in college we often push ourselves like we never have before to keep up with the demands of our schedule and social life (all nighters, out drinking, making practice on time, working internships and part-time jobs. plus classes and studying). I got sick more in college than I ever did and I was free of CF and "healthy."
My opinion is don't do anything out of guilt or because someone else thinks you "should" (that is a bad word in my book), but by all means look into without judgement. You might be as surprised as I was (and still am). Here are a few resources if anyone or the orginal poster is interested in a fuller picture <a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/education/homeschooling-resources.html">http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/education/homeschooling-resources.html</a> . Just this summer there was a great article about homeschooling as well.
Sorry if this got long.
Jody mom of Julia 6 w/out CF and Ben 18 months w/ CF
Most of my interest stemmed from a philosophical place rather than keeping germs out of the picture. However, she did contract RSV last year and Ben ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks after severe weight loss (he had normal respiratory response to it and came through it okay). So I can say I am excited that both of them are fairing much better this season. We still get our share of germs, but it isn't every 2 weeks any more so I feel that's a good deal
As for socialization, I have to say, I think that is very much up to the parents. I think there are many kids who are maladjusted in other school settings and much of that stems from lack of parental involvement. We have neighbors on each side of us and they play all the time. I have good friends with all ranges of ages and she hasn't complained a bit. In fact, she has made a few unexpected comments about how much she likes what I plan for her and how much time she has to do projects (she felt rushed in preschool). The other part I really enjoy is the flexibilty and choice it offers us. We can really weave our lives around what she is learning and go on all kinds of field trips even with our little one. I also involve her in things she loves outside of the home setting including horses, Irish dancing and ice skating. We have a very supportive family and she does wood shop with her grandpa and sewing projects with her grandma. We do plays at family gatherings and involve friends when we can. There are huge networks of families in almost every city that get together all the time and some parents even co-op together (share skills like musical or artistic ability for science and math skills, etc). The possibilities for shared experiences with others are endless and you can still involve them in sports and groups like girl/boy scouts. So far, we love it and for me I think we will just continually reassess each year and make adjustments as needed. At the point of high school, we plan to let each of them choose for themselves where they would like to go. I think it is too general to state that "normal" equals "traditional schools." Who wants to be "normal" any way!
It has helped me let go of alot in regards to life in general in that I feel l'm slowing learning to take each day as it comes and react when you needed. As for later illness due to "lack of exposure" I don't buy that. I think there are so many reasons we get sick (CF or not) and in college we often push ourselves like we never have before to keep up with the demands of our schedule and social life (all nighters, out drinking, making practice on time, working internships and part-time jobs. plus classes and studying). I got sick more in college than I ever did and I was free of CF and "healthy."
My opinion is don't do anything out of guilt or because someone else thinks you "should" (that is a bad word in my book), but by all means look into without judgement. You might be as surprised as I was (and still am). Here are a few resources if anyone or the orginal poster is interested in a fuller picture <a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/education/homeschooling-resources.html">http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/education/homeschooling-resources.html</a> . Just this summer there was a great article about homeschooling as well.
Sorry if this got long.
Jody mom of Julia 6 w/out CF and Ben 18 months w/ CF
i am SO glad i went to a public school.....not only is it a sense of normality but i got to socialise everyday, made plenty of friends and there was so much diversity....different teachers, different classes, i couldnt imagine being taught by myself by the same person every day for 12 years.
on the cf side i think its better to go to school and be around kids, be around dirt, get your immune stystem up. otherwise as soon as you leave you're likely to catch the first bug that comes your way. plus it makes you feel much more like a "normal" child to go off to school with other "normal" (by this i just mean healthy!) children.
just my opinion!!!
on the cf side i think its better to go to school and be around kids, be around dirt, get your immune stystem up. otherwise as soon as you leave you're likely to catch the first bug that comes your way. plus it makes you feel much more like a "normal" child to go off to school with other "normal" (by this i just mean healthy!) children.
just my opinion!!!
Jody I have a friend who is homeschooling with a Waldorf based homeschooling program. I wasn't sure if that was what you were doing, but I wanted to let you know it was out there.
For me, I'm glad homeschooling is an option, but God did not grant me the personality to do it! I admire parents who can, but I know that is not me! My husband could probably do it but despite the fact that I have more education, he makes more money so I'm working part time and he is full time. I do think the socialization part is so much easier than it used to be, especially if you are in an urban area. My 5 year old with CF is in Kindergarten at the local public school where my daughter is and we have loved the Public School experience so far.
For me, I'm glad homeschooling is an option, but God did not grant me the personality to do it! I admire parents who can, but I know that is not me! My husband could probably do it but despite the fact that I have more education, he makes more money so I'm working part time and he is full time. I do think the socialization part is so much easier than it used to be, especially if you are in an urban area. My 5 year old with CF is in Kindergarten at the local public school where my daughter is and we have loved the Public School experience so far.
Who decided a kid would not have a "normal" life if they are home schooled? hehehe
I'm assuming most of the comments made here are referring to the fact that it is more common for people to send their kids off to school, but I feel that kids can and do have a "normal" life *even* if they are home schooled.
People have such different experiences with home schooling -- none of them accurately portray every home schooling family out there. But a lot of what people see happening is a result of what the parents deliberately did or did not do. It's up to the parents to make sure their kids are exposed to life experiences. If you do that all the "social" "germ" "routine" "activities" and ?learning? experiences will happen for them. My kids grew up with friends, best friends, physical exercise, computer class, gymnastics, tae kwon do, dance class, swimming lessons, overnight parties etc etc.... and a whole lot of learning. They learned how to "socialize" because they learned how to treat people with respect. They learned how to follow a "routine" because we had important things to get done in a day. They had exposure to "germs" because they did get out and about to public activities (not that I think exposure to germs is such a good thing) They got an education because we had plenty of books and learning activities to choose from.
It also depends on how the kid feels about home schooling. Some kids would dearly love to stay home but they cannot and others feel just the opposite -- so it is clearly a family decision.
Below is an email I composed several months ago in reply to some other post -- some of that information might be pertinent to this post so here goes:
I have a 17 year old girl and a 19 year old boy, both with mild variant, a-typical CF. They were both diagnosed in their teens and we had already been home schooling for years, so I cannot say CF played a part in our decision to home school, but I do think it probably helped to cut down on some of the germ exposure.
Everybody's reasons and experiences are different about home schooling there is no "one size fits all" answer to things like "won't they miss out on the prom" or "will the other one feel cheated by not going to school" because you just never know how a kid is going to feel about something. What might bother one kid tremendously, doesn't even enter the mind of another. Do what feels right for your family and make adjustments along the way as situations or problems arise.
I feel home schooling was a wonderful experience for the entire family. If I had to do it over again I would hope for it to play out exactly the same way over again. We got to spend so much quality time with our kids! We were very flexible, we did what we wanted, when we wanted. Don't sweat the small stuff -- people can be goal orientated all they want.....but just remember it's not really about what time you get up in the morning or how much curriculum you get through in a week, etc. Don't loose sight of the big picture.... You are raising your kids .... what's the end result you would like to see? The goals that I wanted (and got) most for my kids were to have/be:
happy, healthy, self-confident, have good self esteem, be caring, compassionate, tolerant, loving, intelligent, free thinking, open minded, self reliant, responsible, capable, reliable, trustworthy, honest, communicative, know oneself, and be driven to their own success.
If they have these things, everything else in their lives will fall into place. These are things that parents help to pass on to their kids, whether they home school or not -- I tend to think home schooling makes it easier to do because you get to spend so much more time with your kids.
Both kids are now in community college. My daughter started when she was only 16 years old. We had no problems with admission. As a matter of fact, we even found a program that is paying for all their tuition, books, fees, tutors & bus passes! How great is that?
My best advise is to check out some of the home schooling lists (there are a lot of people sharing information out there), dive into the books about home schooling (there is so much available) and make an informed decision that feels right to you.
I'm assuming most of the comments made here are referring to the fact that it is more common for people to send their kids off to school, but I feel that kids can and do have a "normal" life *even* if they are home schooled.
People have such different experiences with home schooling -- none of them accurately portray every home schooling family out there. But a lot of what people see happening is a result of what the parents deliberately did or did not do. It's up to the parents to make sure their kids are exposed to life experiences. If you do that all the "social" "germ" "routine" "activities" and ?learning? experiences will happen for them. My kids grew up with friends, best friends, physical exercise, computer class, gymnastics, tae kwon do, dance class, swimming lessons, overnight parties etc etc.... and a whole lot of learning. They learned how to "socialize" because they learned how to treat people with respect. They learned how to follow a "routine" because we had important things to get done in a day. They had exposure to "germs" because they did get out and about to public activities (not that I think exposure to germs is such a good thing) They got an education because we had plenty of books and learning activities to choose from.
It also depends on how the kid feels about home schooling. Some kids would dearly love to stay home but they cannot and others feel just the opposite -- so it is clearly a family decision.
Below is an email I composed several months ago in reply to some other post -- some of that information might be pertinent to this post so here goes:
I have a 17 year old girl and a 19 year old boy, both with mild variant, a-typical CF. They were both diagnosed in their teens and we had already been home schooling for years, so I cannot say CF played a part in our decision to home school, but I do think it probably helped to cut down on some of the germ exposure.
Everybody's reasons and experiences are different about home schooling there is no "one size fits all" answer to things like "won't they miss out on the prom" or "will the other one feel cheated by not going to school" because you just never know how a kid is going to feel about something. What might bother one kid tremendously, doesn't even enter the mind of another. Do what feels right for your family and make adjustments along the way as situations or problems arise.
I feel home schooling was a wonderful experience for the entire family. If I had to do it over again I would hope for it to play out exactly the same way over again. We got to spend so much quality time with our kids! We were very flexible, we did what we wanted, when we wanted. Don't sweat the small stuff -- people can be goal orientated all they want.....but just remember it's not really about what time you get up in the morning or how much curriculum you get through in a week, etc. Don't loose sight of the big picture.... You are raising your kids .... what's the end result you would like to see? The goals that I wanted (and got) most for my kids were to have/be:
happy, healthy, self-confident, have good self esteem, be caring, compassionate, tolerant, loving, intelligent, free thinking, open minded, self reliant, responsible, capable, reliable, trustworthy, honest, communicative, know oneself, and be driven to their own success.
If they have these things, everything else in their lives will fall into place. These are things that parents help to pass on to their kids, whether they home school or not -- I tend to think home schooling makes it easier to do because you get to spend so much more time with your kids.
Both kids are now in community college. My daughter started when she was only 16 years old. We had no problems with admission. As a matter of fact, we even found a program that is paying for all their tuition, books, fees, tutors & bus passes! How great is that?
My best advise is to check out some of the home schooling lists (there are a lot of people sharing information out there), dive into the books about home schooling (there is so much available) and make an informed decision that feels right to you.
Emily65Roses
New member
Mind you this is not directed at anyone in particular, but I want to make one quick point. Homeschooling or not, the whole exposure to germs thing... What is in a flu shot that helps you to fight off the flu? Anyone know? IT'S THE FLU!!!!! In a very small dose so your body gets a little test and learns to fight it off. Same thing applies to any other germs out there. You need to be exposed to them to learn to fight them off. If you stay in your house for years and then go out into the world to go to, say, college, odds are that your body will have no idea how to fight anything off.
I do agree with Alyssa, though. If the parents have enough sense to make sure the child that's homeschooled still gets social interaction, then it's not such an issue. There are a lot of homeschooling parents out there, though, that don't pay attention to that, and they are the real problem. My boyfriend's little brother Ryan is homeschooled... but he's in a boy scout troop and goes to karate lessons every week. That's a good example of a homeschooling parent who has a good idea of making sure the student is well-rounded and still exposed to the outside world.
There are many reasons to homeschool and many kids are perfectly happy being homeschooled. Ryan, for instance, is actually better off being homeschooled because he has terrible attention problems. One on one with his mom, she can make sure he pays attention to the lesson. My only suggestion to anyone looking to homeschool would be... don't do it just because your child has CF. If the child is in and out of the hospital and misses too much school, then that makes sense. But if the child is well enough to go to school most of the time, and there's no other reason to homeschool... it doesn't make sense. That's all that I want people to know when I start ranting about how I generally don't advise homeschooling unless there are other (read: not just that you want to keep the germs away) reasons present.
I do agree with Alyssa, though. If the parents have enough sense to make sure the child that's homeschooled still gets social interaction, then it's not such an issue. There are a lot of homeschooling parents out there, though, that don't pay attention to that, and they are the real problem. My boyfriend's little brother Ryan is homeschooled... but he's in a boy scout troop and goes to karate lessons every week. That's a good example of a homeschooling parent who has a good idea of making sure the student is well-rounded and still exposed to the outside world.
There are many reasons to homeschool and many kids are perfectly happy being homeschooled. Ryan, for instance, is actually better off being homeschooled because he has terrible attention problems. One on one with his mom, she can make sure he pays attention to the lesson. My only suggestion to anyone looking to homeschool would be... don't do it just because your child has CF. If the child is in and out of the hospital and misses too much school, then that makes sense. But if the child is well enough to go to school most of the time, and there's no other reason to homeschool... it doesn't make sense. That's all that I want people to know when I start ranting about how I generally don't advise homeschooling unless there are other (read: not just that you want to keep the germs away) reasons present.